Blackhawks make hockey matter again

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A mere three years ago, the Blackhawks were less relevant in Chicago than snowplows in July. During most games at the United Center, entire sections were empty. I didn't know a dozen people who would admit to being Blackhawks fans - and I knew (and continue to know) a lot of hard-core, big-time sports fans.

Now the Hawks are in the Stanley Cup Finals ... and people who used to make fun of hockey are waxing poetic about the penalty-killing unit, growing playoff beards and getting misty-eyed just thinking about a Dustin Byfuglien forecheck .

Ah, winning. Cures apathy every time.

Urlacher's bald head is unfair advantage in sexy-athlete competition

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The Bald Truth

This e-mail, from the Bulls, was a pleasant diversion from the normal humdrum fare I usually get in my in-box:

VICTORIA'S SECRET NAMES DERRICK ROSE AS

“WHAT’S SEXY NOW CHICAGO” NOMINEE

Model Marisa Miller to present Rose with his nomination Thurs. at the Berto Center

WHO: Derrick Rose, Bulls Guard

Marisa Miller, Model and Victoria's Secret Angel

WHAT: After practice on Thursday, Victoria's Secret Angel Marisa Miller will make a special appearance to present Derrick Rose with his Victoria's Secret “What’s Sexy Now Chicago Athlete” nomination.

Rose will compete for the award against the Bears' Brian Urlacher and the Blackhawks' Patrick Sharp.

To cast your vote and see the full list of Chicago nominees, visit VSChicago.com, celebrating all things sexy in Chicago.

This event is taking place in conjunction with the opening of the new Victoria's Secret flagship store located at 734 N. Michigan Avenue on Thursday.

The List

Five events in which Rose, Urlacher and Sharp will compete as they vie for the "What's Sexy Now Chicago Athlete" honor:

5. Looking sexy in stylish glasses while taking the SAT. (That's a college entrance exam, Derrick, in case you never heard of it.)

4. Most sex leading to children fathered. (Wait ... I think Urlacher has this one clinched.)

3. Swimsuit competition. (No thongs. Please! No! Thongs!)

2. Sexiest pout while demanding a new contract. (Urlacher is the overwhelming favorite because he has so much practice.)

1. Ice-Dancing with the Stars. (Hey, Sharp deserves to have one event he can win.)

The Balder Truth

If it seems strange that 47-year-old Chris Chelios has signed to play in the minors for the Chicago Wolves, just remember this:

He's not even 7 in wolf years.

The Quote

"We're two plays away from being 5-0." - Robbie Gould, Tuesday on WSCR-AM.

Yep. And his Bears are two plays away from being 1-4, too, but we won't talk about those.

3-2 ... that seems just about right for Lovie's Lads.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Thanks to a new iPhone application costing a mere $4.99, fans of Chad Ochocinco can keep tabs on the Bengals receiver's tweets and such. As a bonus, the AP story says, "They can ask his device on dating or anything else."

Oooh! Oooh! Me first!

"Mr. Ochocinco, is it best to kiss a girl before or after I whisper sweet trash-talk in her ear?"

A serious hockey comeback and a seriously good movie

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The Bald Truth

As I prepare to start covering Blackhawks games again for the first time in years - my first assignment is Wednesday - I ventured to the United Center for Monday's wild game against the Flames. Playing about as horrendously as a team can play, the Hawks fell behind by five goals ... only to come back and win 6-5 in OT.

As has become the case during the team's renaissance, the crowd at the United Center was amazing, and the Blackhawks were all smiles afterward.

But let me tell you: This team has zero chance to live up to the Stanley Cup hype with Cristobal Huet in goal. For all of the Blackhawks' offensive firepower, pretty much every team they'd play in the playoffs would have a huge advantage in net.

Let's see how good Bowman & Son are at finding a championship goalie in a hockey haystack.

The Quote

"That first period, I think we were still in our pregame nap." - Kris Versteeg

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Earlier Monday, the missus and I saw the Coen brothers' latest flick, A Serious Man.

You'll enjoy it more if you're Jewish. So if you're not, I highly recommend converting before plunking down your 10 bucks.

Seriously (pun intended), it was a fun period piece and a funny biblical parable, and it had the kind of witty writing and zany characters typical to the Coens' work.

As a comedy, it certainly wasn't Fargo, one of my 20 favorite movies ever. As a drama, it wasn't in the same league as No Country for Old Men (nor did it attempt to be). But I'd put A Serious Man against any of the Coens' other flicks - and that's some pretty good company.

Does any GM try harder to win than White Sox GM?

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The Bald Truth

So many GMs in all sports try to avoid embarrassment. They try to avoid "losing" a trade. They try their hardest not to lose instead of to win.

And then there's Kenny Williams.

The White Sox and their fans are very lucky that their guy will do pretty much anything legal to win. Victory - ultimate victory, like the team experienced in 2005 - is the only thing that matters to Williams.

Hey, I'm not sure if Alex Rios is a great player waiting to bust out, a very good player who already has peaked, a good player who never will be great, or an OK player who is vastly overpaid.

What I am sure of is that claiming him on waivers from the salary-dumping Blue Jays was worth a shot.

The arrival of Rios and his $61 million contract through 2014 - along with last month's stunning deal for big-money ace Jake Peavy - almost surely means that Jermaine Dye and/or Jim Thome won't be back next season. So be it.

Where Rios will play is another matter. Ozzie Guillen, a manager who often doesn't get the credit he deserves for his ability as a strategist, will find creative ways to fit five players - Rios, Dye, Thome, Carlos Quentin and Scott Podsednik - into four slots.

Besides, given the injury histories of Dye, Thome, Quentin and Podsednik, the acquisition of Rios could end of being the difference in the AL Central race. If the White Sox don't win, it won't be because they had too many outfielders and DHs.

Bottom line: If Kenny Williams believes so much in Alex Rios, I'm willing to give the player the benefit of the doubt.

Williams is right a hell of a lot more often than he is wrong. And even when he's wrong, he's wrong in a good way because all he cares about is winning.

The Quote

"There was a dispute over the fee and it just kind of escalated from there. It was not really a robbery. That is probably a large distortion of what happened. I think we should be able to work things out." - Andrew LoTempio, the lawyer for the Buffalo cabbie who allegedly was assaulted by Blackhawks star Patrick "20 Cent" Kane over chump change.

Those were a lot of words to say what one word would have covered: Ka-ching!

A large distortion? Yeah, by the lawyer's obviously beat-up client - who repeatedly told TV stations, radio outlets and newspaper reporters what a thug Kane was.

Now this client suddenly seems willing to, um, negotiate with Kane concerning the level of punishment that actually was doled out by the hockey player.

What a country.

The Balder Truth

Well, Lou Piniella argued. He got ejected. His Cubbies got thumped in Denver. And then they got thumped again.

So much for the dopey theory that if Lou goes ballistic, the Cubs will break out of their slumps.

If baseball worked like that, don't you think more managers would get the heave-ho more often?

So please give it a rest, dopey theorists.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Finally got to see The Hangover on Monday. Verdict: I hadn't laughed so hard at a movie since Borat.

And if you think that's just because I'm a guy who is into stupid, sick-humor buddy movies, Mrs. N also laughed her keister off.

No, it's not for the kiddies. And yes, it is quite stupid. But there were very few 45-second stretches in which everybody in the theater wasn't downright delirious.

Roger Ebert gave it 3 1/2 stars ... and who am I to disagree?

3 1/2 bald heads for The Hangover.

Was Kane really able to do such a thing?

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The Bald Truth

The first time I read the Patrick Kane story, I couldn't believe it. So I surfed the 'Net and found more versions of it. And it still seems too absurd to be true.

For those unfamiliar with the whole shebang: The 20-year-old Blackhawks star - the carefully marketed, baby-faced face of the franchise - supposedly beat the crap out of a Buffalo cabbie over 20 cents.

The CliffsNotes version: He and his cousin, James Kane, allegedly handed the cabbie $15 cash for a $13.80 fare after a night of partying. After the driver gave the Kanes a dollar back but said he didn't have 20 cents in coins, according to the police report, one of the Kanes tore money from the driver's hand and both punched the driver in the face and head.

(Click here for the TV interview of the cab driver.)

"They broke my glasses. They ripped my clothes off. All over 20 cents," the cabbie told the Chicago Tribune.

As I said earlier: Un-freakin'-believable.

But is it? Is it really?

Is there anything that pro athletes - so full of wealth, testosterone, feelings of invincibility and senses of entitlement - are above doing?

Even sweet-looking kids like Patrick Kane, the new EA Sports NHL '10 video game coverboy and a prospective U.S. Olympian?

Hey, I'm not here to convict Patrick Kane. I don't know all the facts. The only people who really know what happened in that cab are the Kanes and the cabbie. Over time, hopefully everything will come to light.

All I know is that the most unbelievable actions involving jocks turn out to be all-too-believable anymore.

I'm determined to keep an open mind. A skeptical and cynical mind, yes, but an open one.

If these charges prove false, I hope Patrick Kane can have some semblance of a normal life and NHL career. If they prove true, however, I hope he rots in jail until he's ready for hockey's Senior Circuit.

The Balder Truth

I'm not supposed to joke about such a serious subject, but ...

I'm so, so, SO tempted to give Patrick Kane a new nickname that's sure to give him street cred:

"20 Cent," of course!

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Every time there's a story about a one-time multimillionaire athlete or rock star or actor going broke, the natural reaction is:

How? I couldn't spend all that money even if I tried!

Well, actually, you could. And these rich and famous people do. All the time.

A three-paragraph item tucked deep inside Sunday's Tribune tells of the real-estate transactions of one Rex Grossman, the QB Chicago fans learned to loathe until he was handed a one-way ticket out of Bear Country.

Seems that Grossman - who already was trying to sell his three-bedroom suburban townhome for $899,000 - now is trying to unload his 3,437-square-foot condo in the new Trump International Hotel & Tower downtown at a substantial loss from the $2.68 million he paid for it less than a year ago.

OK, I understand why Grossman bought the expensive home in the 'burbs. That's where the Bears train and the former No. 1 draft pick figured he'd be the team's starting quarterback for a decade. Plus, he bought it before the market went to crap.

But the Trump place? Really? He thought $2.68 million was a bargain for a condo in a declining market? And he thought buying a second place in Bear Country was a good idea even though the team had lost all faith in him and practically was holding the exit door open for him?

Either he got bad advice, he's really stupid or a little of both.

Maybe Rex has made dozens of great investments and that was just a bad one. Maybe he's got more money than God and would laugh at his name even being mentioned in this blog post.

Still, such silliness is just one of hundreds of examples I can give you illustrating how a millionaire can become a bankrupt ex-millionaire faster than a mediocre QB can get picked off for a TD.

Big trade news from Halladay Land

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The Bald Truth

Well, it finally happened, folks: the big trade that Toronto fans had been anticipating for weeks.

Yes, Roy Halladay ... is getting another superstar in his city!!

Welcome to Canada, new Raptor Marco Belinelli.

Labatts for everybody!

And to think, all the Raptors had to give the Warriors was Devean George and a Skydome suite from which to watch every game Halladay pitches for the Blue Jays next season.

The Quote

"I wish I could cuss right now." - Hawk Harrelson, after his beloved White Sox lost again to the Twins at the Humpty Dome.

The Balder Truth

Jerry Reinsdorf is buying the Phoenix Coyotes, and you know what that means:

From North Carolina ... at right wing ... No. 45 ... Michael Jordan!

The Quote II

"Yeah, everything surprises me." - Cubs rookie Randy Wells when asked if anything about his success as a big-league pitcher has surprised him.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Congrats to the Phillies, who were able to get ace lefty Cliff Lee from the Indians without giving up any of the big-time prospects Toronto demanded in any Roy Halladay deal.

And congrats to the Indians, too. They have acquired so many youngsters for the likes of Lee, CC Sabathia and Mark DeRosa that they already are the overwhelming favorite to win the 2010 College World Series.

Very human Tiger gets weekend off

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The Bald Truth

I love watching any golf tournament in which the scores are close in the final nine holes and Tiger Woods is a legitimate contender.

That being said, I also think it's a good thing the very few times Tiger misses the cut, as he did at the British Open.

Yes, I know it costs the network viewers and, by extension, money. And I know it automatically makes Sunday at least a little less interesting.

But I'm a big fan of anything that works against the deification of any human being.

Woods is a great golfer. Probably the greatest ever. But he doesn't always win. Neither did Jack Nicklaus or Michael Jordan or Muhammad Ali or Martina Navratilova or Wayne Gretzky or Babe Ruth.

How boring would it be if the greatest always performed greatly and always won?

It's good for the rest of us - and a wonderful lesson for us to teach our kids - that even Tiger Woods fails sometimes.

Now get out to that practice range, young man, and work on that driver!

The Balder Truth

This is Example No. 773 why you should always take The Field over Tiger Woods.

Yeah, he amazingly has won 14 of the 49 majors he's played as a professional.

Hello! That means he has not won 35 of them - 71.4 percent!

This is the biggest no-brainer out there. Yet before every major, the experts and talking heads always, always, always pick Tiger to win.

Dumb.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Frankly, it was sickening the way the TNT folks openly, desperately pulled for Tiger to make the cut. It got to the point where they were rooting against others in the field, hoping the non-Eldricks would miss shots just so the cut line would come down to Woods at +5.

I mean, nobody really expects TV types to be objective, but this was ridiculous.

And TNT won't even be televising the final two rounds!

That means it was hero worship as much as it was rooting for ratings.

Pathetic.

AL makes it count again ... and Blackhawks beam up Scotty's boy

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The Bald Truth

An Oriole drives in the winning run against a Padre in an exhibition game to decide home-field advantage in the World Series.

Nice work, Bud!

Well, He Said He'd Bring Change

Was that a changeup lefty Barack Obama threw to Albert Pujols for the ceremonial first pitch before the All-Star Game? 

Or does this president simply have a noodle arm compared to Dubya's?

The Balder Truth

Wow, Stan Musial sure has an impressive list of accomplishments! Still, it's natural to wonder if his numbers would have been the same without all those steroids.

It's A Jolly Halladay

Neither the Cubs (with their slow sale and their possible bankruptcy) nor the White Sox (with their lower-than-projected attendance) are likely to feel rich enough to add Roy Halladay's big salary ... so here's an idea:

They BOTH can trade for the Blue Jays great, with Halladay getting to stay in Chicago from here on out because he'd only pitch in home games.

Hey, these rough economic times call for creative solutions.

It only will get unfair in the World Series. With the American League winning for the 855th straight year - This Time It Counts (Again)!! - the White Sox would get Halladay when they face the Cubs in Game 7.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

For better or worse, the Blackhawks officially are Scotty Bowman's team.

Last fall, in his first act as "senior adviser," he seniorly advised them to fire Denis Savard four games into the season. Now, he has gotten them to can Dale Tallon - who brought in all their great young talent - so his son Stan Bowman could be the new GM.

Asked what Stan Bowman brings to the job that Tallon didn't, owner Rocky Wirtz told the media: "He's 26, Dale is 58. We always want younger people."

Zounds! Methinks Tallon would have one hell of an age-discrimination suit had he not accepted a pile of hush money from Wirtz to stay on as an "adviser." (An extremely junior adviser.)

Given his love of youngsters in positions of power, Wirtz sure is giving a lot of latitude to Scotty Bowman, a septuagenarian whose Hall of Fame coaching career began back when NHL players really wore sweaters.

There is no question Scotty knows a lot about winning. With nine Stanley Cups, he's the Red Auerbach of hockey. 

And there's no question the Blackhawks are desperate. It's been so long since they've won it all, their last championship actually predates the start of Bowman's coaching career by six years!

Still, this all seems so sleazy, so knife-in-the-back, so beneath the actions of any respectable organization.

All I'll say is Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville had better watch his back. With Phil Jackson having just won his 10th NBA title to break a tie for the most in North American pro sports history, Scotty might be salivating for another turn behind the bench.

Fortunately for Scotty, he has an in with the new GM.

12 years for Hossa? It only seems like a long time

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The List

The economy has tanked, right? Well, apparently not in the NHL, where the Blackhawks just handed out a 12-year, multi-gajillion-dollar contract to Marian Hossa. 

Twelve years! 

The deal doesn't expire until after the 2020-21 season, which has to be the longest any franchise in any sport has committed to one today's athletes. Hossa will be 42 by then.

Here are 12 things certain to happen in those dozen years:

1. Twitter becomes ancient history, replaced by Thoughter - the process by which we communicate to each other through brainwaves alone. Only 140 characters at a time, please.

2. Princess Sasha takes over the U.S. throne from King Barack.

3. In a dramatic reversal, the medical community says anabolic steroids are essential to the health and well-being of every human. Steroids replace flouride in the water we drink. Athletes are suspended for refusing to take performance-enhancing drugs. Bryce Harper, a one-time phenom who has bulked up to 255 pounds of pure muscle, becomes the first big-league ballplayer to hit 100 home runs in a season. Syringes are available in vending machines at every high school. Jose Canseco is elected MLB commissioner.   

4. After democracy wins out in Iran, the country merges with Iraq. And the great nation of Iranq becomes one of our most loyal allies.

5. Led by manager Ozzie Guillen, the Cubs win their seventh World Series.

6. The Toyota Prius is declared illegal in the U.S. by Princess Sasha, who says: "Sorry, but hybrids use too much fuel."

7. Patrick Kane will be a third of the way through his 24-year contract. But he still can't grow a playoff beard.

8. Fresh out of federal prison, Rod Blagojevich wins American Idol with his flawless performance of Michael Jackson's Thriller.

9. Boise State emerges from the first-ever NCAA Division I football playoffs to win the national title. Raking in $100 million for each of their institutions, presidents from the six major conferences wonder what took them so long to blow up the BCS. 

10. After ceasing to exist for six years, newspapers make a dramatic comeback because readers missed Hagar The Horrible too damn much.

11. At 95, Joe Paterno signs what Penn State is calling "perhaps his last three-year contract extension."

12. Marian Hossa is the unanimous choice as the greatest hockey player of all time and is enshrined in the sport's Hall of Fame even though he's still an active player. His presenter is Wayne Gretzky, now known merely as "The Very Good One." 

The Bald Truth

With a huge victory over the mighty Buccos, the Cubs have convinced me that they'll win the vast majority of their remaining games as long as ...

++Lou Piniella gets ejected every day.

++Randy Wells can make 60 or so starts.

++The Cubs eat the rest of Alfonso Soriano's contract so Sam Fuld can be their left fielder and leadoff hitter.

++Kosuke Fukudome bats, say, .600 from here on in.

++Aramis Ramirez stays healthy through the rest of the regular season, positioning himself perfectly to go 0-for-12 in the playoffs.

The Balder Truth

As a guy who has seen a lot of Bulls games these last five years, I already miss watching Ben Gordon dribble 23 seconds off the clock before hoisting a 27-foot fadeaway.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Last July, the Brewers pulled within a game of the Cubs going into a four-game series at Miller Park. Riding high from their recent acquisition of CC Sabathia, the Brewers were ready to send a message to Cubbieland: We're in the race to stay. 

Four days and one Cubs sweep later, Bernie Brewer had to enter detox.

Flash forward to this weekend: Starting Thursday, the Cubs and Brewers will meet at Wrigley Field for a four-game series. Somehow, the Cubs have stayed in the division race, trailing the Brewers by only 3 1/2 games despite being baseball's biggest underachievers. 

Another Cubs sweep and they'll be in first place (or close to it, depending upon what the Cardinals and Reds do). 

But if the Brewers do in Chicago what the Cubs did in Milwaukee in July 2008 ... well, let's just say it will be open season on Gatorade coolers in the Cubbie dugout.

Milt has a thank-you note to write

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The Bald Truth

Luis Castillo is the best thing to happen to Milton Bradley all season long.

As I wrote for the AP on Friday, Bradley played right field like a doofus. He was all set to be the talk of baseball until ...

... Castillo dropped what should have been A-Roid's game-ending pop-up, allowing the tying and go-ahead runs to score in the Yankees' win over the Mets.

As we all know, if it happened in New York, it's bigger than any event in any city, in any state, in any country, in any continent, in any solar system.

So Castillo was Friday's Official Baseball Goat.

Bradley had to settle for Knucklehead of the Day.

The Quote

"I give 250 percent every day. If you can't see that, there's something wrong." - Milton Bradley

This from a guy who can't count to 3.

The Balder Truth

No joke, just a simple statement: Joe Mauer is the best player in baseball right now.

Lou-ism of the Day

"We just shook it up a little bit to see if it helps out. We're gonna try a few different things and see what happens. We stayed pretty constant for 60 games or so. I think it's time to change things around a little bit. Look, there's no magic formula."

Yep, big changes for the Cubbies. Mike Fontenot batted second for the first time this season. Kosuke Fukudome batted sixth for the first time. Ryan Theriot was moved from second to seventh. Bradley, banished from the No. 3 spot a month ago, was back there.

So how did it work? The Cubs managed all of four hits in six innings against appropriately named Twins starter Kevin Slowey - who kept challenging them (and beating them) with 88 mph fastballs. 

Fontenot, Fukudome and Theriot combined to go 0-for-10 with six whiffs. Fukudome, back to the spin-a-rama strikeout style that made him so special last season, looked especially lost.

Bradley, yeah, he did have a couple of hits but, as mentioned earlier, he didn't exactly cover himself with glory on this day.

If anybody has the magic formula, methinks Lou would pay a pretty penny for it.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Penguins for winning a thrilling Game 7 of an exciting Stanley Cup Finals against the Detroit Red Wings.

The last time I enjoyed the sport this much was when I was a sharp-elbowed floor-hockey terror in Mr. Pirelli's gym class at Jonathan Law High School.

Chillin' with the missus, rippin' LeBron The Loser and diggin' Dwight

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The Bald Truth

Hopefully, a few readers noticed that I hadn't posted for a few days.

For those who are worried sick about me, no need. I didn't accidentally watch 5 seconds of Around the Horn, lose my mind and get hauled away to the funny farm.

No, it's just that my wife is taking a little vacation time and we've been chillin' together.

Really, though ... instead of taking time off from the one job she has, shouldn't she be working a second job so she can support my golf habit?

Jeesh, some people are so selfish.

Anyway, after I'm done with this post, I will be back in a day or three, so keep checking. As always, I appreciate everyone's loyalty.

The Quote

"It’s not being a poor sport or anything like that." - LeBron James, a day after refusing to shake hands with Dwight Howard and the rest of the Orlando Magic.

Well yes, Bron-Bron, it is being a poor sport.

And a jerk.

And a clown.

And a sore loser.

And a self-serving douchebag.

And I could go on ... but do I really need to?

I just wonder what LeBron would have said had Howard done the same to him.

The Balder Truth

Loved that the NHL played Games 1 and 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals on consecutive nights in Detroit. It's a reminder of the good old days when every league didn't feel compelled to drag out every postseason series for weeks on end.

Not sure the Penguins were as happy about it, though I'm guessing the Red Wings would be up 2-0 even if the league had waited until September for Game 2.

The Question

Is it just me or has David Ortiz gone from age 33 to age 48 in the span of two months?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Some media mopes actually are criticizing Dwight Howard for only being able to dunk on the offensive end.

These are probably the same idiots who said as much about Shaq 15 years and four NBA championships ago.

Look, if Howard is "only" able to dunk 10, 15, 20 times in a game, that's a good thing. Besides, he does help the Magic on offense even if he's not dunking. To name three ways: He's a great offensive rebounder; he helps Orlando's many fine outside shooters by drawing the defense to him; and he gets the opposing center in foul trouble.

It would be cool to see Howard win the NBA title because he has the right attitude: Play as hard as he can and as well as he can every minute he's on the court but otherwise realize that it is just a game. I can't remember any recent pro basketball player enjoying the game more. Such perspective is sorely lacking (see: James, LeBron).

Even though Howard and a few of other Magicals will create matchup problems for the Lakers, however, I can't pick Orlando to win this series.

The Lakers have too much experience, too much good coaching, too much talent, too much skill coming off the bench and, especially, too much Kobe Bryant.

Way, way, way too much Jack Nicholson, as well, but I won't hold that against them.

Lakers in 6.

Chicago has a winner, and it's the team that just lost

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Not the Bears, even with The Great Jay Cutler playing all 22 positions, making field goals, punting, returning kicks and refreshing the water jugs. He's gonna do all that, right?

Not the Bulls, with no inside presence, no go-to guy, no defensive stopper ... and a salary-cap situation that will keep things that way.

Not the White Sox, whose best players are getting old and whose young players aren't good enough.

Not the Cubs because ... do we really have to say it? They're the freakin' Cubs!

The Blackhawks, my friends.

If any Chicago team is to win a championship within the next decade, that team will have to be the Blackhawks.

Their season is over, but what a season it was. They finished second in their division to the great Red Wings, won two playoff rounds, stole a series from a team that had home-ice advantage, took the defending champs into OT three times in five games and on Wednesday almost staved off elimination on Detroit ice despite missing their goalie and top scorer.

Along the way, they made a town that once loved hockey start to fall in love all over again.

Unlike the Bears of '01 and '06, there wasn't a smoke-and-mirrors feel to this Blackhawks team. Unlike the Cubs of '07 and '08, the young Hawks quickly figured out how to win in the playoffs. Unlike the Baby Bulls of recent vintage, these Blackhawks aren't faux contenders. 

So can they grow up to be like the White Sox of '05? Well, sure. Why not?

The Blackhawks need to re-sign Nikolai Khabibulin. That Cristobal Huet played well Wednesday might make more teams interested in trading for Huet (and his salary), thus freeing up money to keep the superior goalie in net. They need another defense-first, kick-butt defenseman. They need a faceoff specialist or two.

Mostly, though, the Blackhawks just need more experience. They already have a ton of talent, most of it younger than 25. These kids aren't flukes.

Oh, there is one more thing: 

They need to be a little bigger, a little stronger, a little tougher, a little meaner and, well, a little crazier. Teams need to fear them more. I'm not talking about goons, because fighting is idiotic. I'm talking about intimidation and temperament. Just call it a you-really-don't-want-to- bleep-with-us attitude.

Hey, since we've already re-established that the Cubs are the Cubs and therefore have no chance in this or any century, wouldn't Cra-Z Zambrano and M-Bomb Bradley look good in Indian Head sweaters?

A day Chicago sports fans would rather trade

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The Bald Truth

According to sources close to other sources who once walked past still other sources on the way into an O'Hare men's room, the Cubs and White Sox agreed to terms of a Derrek Lee for Paul Konerko deal ... but each player invoked the no-trade clause in his contract.

Seems D-Lee and Paulie only want to play for contenders.

The Balder Truth

The Cubs scored 5 runs - total - in going 0-6 on their St. Louis-San Diego road trip. The White Sox blew a ninth-inning lead to Pittsburgh just three days after losing by 19 runs to the Twins. When I got to my car Sunday morning, I was greeted by a bright orange parking ticket; paying it will cost me approximately what I made working as a freelancer at the Sox game.

Still, all of us mentioned in that paragraph had a better day than the Blackhawks did.

I recorded the Hawks-Wings game on my DVR but decided not to watch it after I heard the score. Seeing the lowlights turned out to be plenty.

Methinks the Blackhawks were so distracted by their quest for retribution for Niklas Kronwall's Game 3 hit on Martin Havlat that they forgot they were supposed to actually be playing hockey.

Dopes.

As a four-decade hockey observer who roots for neither the Hawks nor the Wings, I've seen Kronwell's hit about 50 times ... and I am convinced it was devastating but absolutely legal. 

That realization makes me more ready to play hockey than the Blackhawks were.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

On the positive side for Chicagoans, Jay Cutler is at least three months away from hearing his first boos at Soldier Field.

Oh, does Peavy pitch, too?

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The Bald Truth

The obvious story line from Friday's Cubs-Padres game was that Jake Peavy showed the Cubs just what they were missing.

Yeah ... he got a hit and scored a run.

The Question

OK, who stole the Cardinals' starting pitchers and replaced them with the 1970 Orioles' rotation?

The Baldest Truth

If you're like me, you're shocked - shocked! - to see Rich Harden go on the DL.

He's batting .200, so the Cubs desperately will miss him. 

The Quote

"That's just a great shot, man." - LeBron James, on TNT, describing his buzzer-beating Game 2 winner.

That's just great humility, too.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The Cavs blew a 23-point lead but won anyway to save themselves from almost certain doom.

The Blackhawks blew a three-goal lead but won anyway to save themselves from almost certain doom.

The Nationals, as usual, simply blew. They faced certain doom before pitchers and catchers reported.

And now we send it to Stormy Mist for the weather ...

Of Dontrelle, CC, Gibson, Kid K and an expensive Blackhawks mistake

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The Bald Truth

Nice to see Dontrelle Willis winning - and smiling - again. 

When one of the sport's most charismatic and entertaining players is doing his thing, baseball is better for it.

Just Asking

Wow! Did you see the way the Cubs flailed away at those amazing pitches being thrown by the Cardinals' great Bob Gibson?

I don't care how many times you say that was Joel Pineiro. I'm saying it must have been Gibson.

The Balder Truth

Remember all that hand-wringing in New York over CC Sabathia and Mark Teixeira? 

Well, don't look now, but CC won again Tuesday and has a 3.43 ERA to go with his 4 wins - as many as White Sox season-opening No. 2, 3 and 4 starters Gavin Floyd, John Danks and Jose Contreras combined. And Teixeira has 11 HRs (2 more than the combined total of Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez and Geovany Soto) and 30 RBIs (more than the aggregate output of Soto, Milton Bradley, Reed Johnson and Aaron Miles).

Then again, the Yankees do have slightly higher standards than their Chicago counterparts.

The Stat Line

2/3 IP, 3 H, 2 HR, 1 BB, 0 K ... blown 5-2 lead in the 9th ... season: 1-2 record, 8.31 ERA.

Hmmm. Maybe the Cubs don't miss Kerry Wood after all.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The Blackhawks have been such a feel-good story in Chicago this year, it's easy to overlook their shortcomings. Well, here's a big one: Brian Campbell.

They gave an 8-year, $56.8 million contract to the allegedly offensive-minded defenseman who, it turns out, rarely scores.

Campbell was trying to make something happen in OT Tuesday when he gave away the puck, fell down, watched helplessly as the Red Wings took off on a 3-on-1 break and basically handed Detroit a 2-0 lead in the series.

He turns 30 on Saturday. And did we mention he still has 7 years left on that contract?

As great as the season has been, not everything is perfect in Hawkeyland.

Boys will be boys

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The Bald Truth

Not exactly a shocker that Rachel Alexandra won the Preakness.

I mean, how were all those boys supposed to concentrate while running next to such a hot babe?

They're only equine, you know!

The Balder Truth

The Cardinals aren't merely hoping Chris Carpenter stays healthy when he returns for Wednesday's game against the Cubs. They also are actively taking steps to keep him in one piece.

When Carpenter bats, sources say, he has been ordered to never swing. Also, our crack investigative team has learned that Tony La Russa has asked Bud Selig for permission to have Carpenter pitch from a protective bubble.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Spent the weekend chilling in the Detroit area with my college buddy, Chodz. He's a Chicago native who loves hockey and can't lose in the matchup between his old team, the Blackhawks, and his adopted faves, the Red Wings.

Frankly, he seemed a bit more excited about the latter than the former while watching Game 1 - and it's hard to blame him.

The Red Wings were so dominant Sunday that they stopped skating a few times just to make sure the Hawks were still on the ice.

Contreras, Theriot and other jocks worth rooting for

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The Bald Truth

Here's something you don't see everyday: A ballplayer sending himself to the minors because he knows it's best for him and his team.

Once banished from the White Sox rotation, Jose Contreras could have gone to the bullpen to try to solve his problems. There, he would have continued to enjoy all the trappings that go with big-league life. Instead, he asked to be sent down so he could work things out while starting ballgames.

Here's a guy who came back much earlier than expected from Achilles tendon surgery because he wanted to help the team, and now he's making this sacrifice. It's almost enough to make me feel sorry for constantly poking fun at Jose's age, which is somewhere around 50. Give or take a decade.

Sure, he's still making his major-league salary, but in this era of egos run amok, Contreras' actions are pretty darn selfless.

Kind of makes you want to root for the big lug.

The Balder Truth

It's also easy to to root for the Houston Rockets, who are without Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming but have taken the Lakers to a seventh game. You go, Luis Scola, whoever you are.

Also, the feisty, young Blackhawks, who are about to begin an epic series against the defending Stanley Cup champs. I'm saying Red Wings in 7, but I never thought Patrick Kane, Nikolai Khabibulin and the rest of the Hawks could get this far. So I'm prepared to be wrong again.

And ever-hustling Dodgers LF Juan Pierre, who has the impossible task of replacing Manny Ramiroid and is doing a great job so far.

And even Michael Phelps, who could have gone into a defensive shell in the wake of Bong-Gate but instead has handled his return to the pool with humor and class.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Speaking of class, I couldn't help but admire the words and deeds of Ryan Theriot on Friday.

The Sun-Times featured a column by Rick Telander, who theorized that the steroid culture in baseball condemns everyone - even a suddenly-home-run-crazy little Cubbie shortstop.

It was a legitimate point, but the headline - which screamed: "SMALL HITTER, BIG PROBLEM" - suggested that Theriot was sharing syringes with A-Roid or something. (As is the case with most columnists, Telander didn't write the headline.)

Unlike most athletes, who only look at the headline and get mad at the writer, Theriot took the time to read the entire column. And while he didn't like the feeling of being dragged through the mud, he was able to focus on reality.

"Once you get into the article - and I have read it a few times - you realize the point is a valid point," Theriot said. "It's more about what the game's come to. The headline could have been written a little differently. When you read something like that, it associates you with something you don't want to be associated with. 

"I feel I have lived my life the right way from day one. Hopefully, that will overcome a headline like that. It's tough when others make mistakes and you get drug into it."

He went on to say he hasn't even taken any supplements since 2005.

"The risk-reward wasn't worth it to even take that chance," he said. "My supplements for the last four or five years have been Gatorade and water."

Most of the time, I don't believe these roid-denying jocks, but you know what? I absolutely believe Ryan Theriot.

Lights ... camera ... Blackhawks!

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The Bald Truth

This is going to have to be short and quick because I'm exhausted after watching the Blackhawks advance to the Western Conference finals with Monday's wild 7-5 win over the Canucks at the United Center.

The last time a large gathering of hockey players scored that often and quickly, Elisha Cuthbert was in the room.

Anyway, congrats to the young Blackhawks, the rare Chicago sports franchise that actually wins in the postseason these days.

Oh, Goodie ...

Now everybody who once stepped foot within a 300-mile radius of Chicago can claim to be a lifelong Blackhawks fan.

The Balder Truth

According to one report, Mark Cuban told Kenyon Martin's mom that the Nuggets player is a "thug." According to another, the mouthy Mavs owner called Martin a "punk."

Semantics, semantics.

According to my sources, Cuban actually called Martin a "fine young gentleman."

There. Am I back in the will, Uncle Mark?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Hey, Jose Contreras, you left some massive, formless object behind in Chicago.

Oh wait. That's Bartolo Colon. Never mind.

It's Favre's life

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The Bald Truth

In my previous post, I likened Brett Favre to a punch-drunk fighter seeking one last shot at glory. That led some to believe that I don't think Favre should come back to play for the Vikings or any other team.

Hey, Brett Favre should do whatever Brett Favre wants to do.  If he wants to play for the Vikings and they want him, good for him and good for them. It says here that he'd still be in the upper half of NFL QBs, still be fun to watch, still be a great story.

As a bonus, he'll also drive my buddy Twin Cities Rick - a Vikings lover and Favre hater -absolutely bonkers.

I don't really understand the folks who get all bent out of shape about this kind of thing. There were people outraged that Michael Jordan suited up for the Wizards and that Bobby Orr finished his career in Chicago and that Jim Palmer thought he could pull an Orioles uniform over his boxers when he was 40.

Did any of these guys hurt anybody? Did any of them they damage his "legacy" - one of the most overused (and misused) words by today's columnists and sports-radio yakkers.

I mean, does anybody really think less of Jordan or Orr or Palmer today? 

Brett Favre's legacy will be fine, whether he plays another year or not. 

If he's great, we get to enjoy a legend one more time. If he stinks, we get to make fun of him.

It's win-win, baby.

The Balder Truth

According to reports out of Havana, a 65-year-old man broke his own world record by creating a 142-foot long cigar.

Sources say he immediately scored a date with Monica Lewinsky.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

I'm still getting the occasional e-mail from folks wondering why my columns haven't been in their local newspapers. Four months after GateHouse decided that shedding my $8.9 million salary would be the answer to all of their financial difficulties, it's nice to be missed.

These days, in addition to my silliness here at TBT and looking for gainful employment, I'm freelancing a couple times a week for AP - the world's largest news-gathering service and my employer for the first 16 years of my career. 

Most recently, I covered Tuesday's Cubs-Giants game and also wrote a story about Bobby Scales, the 31-year-old who finally got to make his big-league debut after 11 years in the minors.

I'm also spending more time doing some of the things I like, such as hanging out with my wife and son, reading books and, now that spring has arrived, playing a little golf.

Wednesday offered a rare treat: a round of golf for four columnist (and ex-columnist) buddies. Our foursome at Buffalo Grove Golf Club: the Tribune's Rick Morrissey, the Daily Herald's Mike Imrem, the SouthtownStar's Phil Arvia and me.

I won't bore you with details except to say I surely would have posted the low score had rain not kept us from playing No. 18. 

All I would have needed was a hole-in-one from 425 yards. Talk about a gimme.

Chicago: City of Big Winners (for now, anyway)

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Interesting times for those following Chicago's sports scene ...

CUBS

In a shocking development that not a single soul could have foreseen, Milton Bradley is out with an injury. Doesn't matter. The Cubs are doing just what they're supposed to be doing during this 162-game preseason of theirs.

They are winning far more than they are losing and setting themselves up for what is sure to be a typically satisfying playoff run.

It hasn't been boring in Cubbieland. It never is.

Lou Piniella has had to threaten several relievers with bodily harm for failing to throw strikes, Kosuke Fukudome is squeezing some hits in between his spin-o-ram misses, Derrek Lee has morphed into Mark Grace II and Geovany Soto's sore shoulder has made an every-inning catcher out of Koyie Hill.

Oh, and Alfonso Soriano is on quite the lead-off-the-game-with-bombs tear. If I were the opposing manager and my starter threw the first pitch within a foot of the strike zone, I would immediately pull the starter from the game, fine him a million bucks and option him to Dezhnevo of the Sarah Palin Backyard League. 

As expected, aside from the Cubs and the resilient Cardinals, the NL Central is mostly garbage. It remains almost impossible to fathom the Cubs losing.

Until October, of course.

WHITE SOX

I flipped on Monday's game just in time to see Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko hit back-to-back jacks - remarkably, the 300th career home run for each. Congrats to two classy guys.

And Carlos Quentin also smacked two homers in beating the Tigers. For all the talk about how this team now can play small-ball ... please. If the Sox hit home runs, they have a chance to win. If they don't, they usually lose. Fortunately for them, they hit lots of homers.

Though the White Sox have plenty of flaws, I've seen little to convince me they aren't the least-flawed team in a greatly flawed division.

And Bartolo Colon will eat anybody who disagrees.

BULLS

They looked like a lost cause a couple of months ago but now have a great chance to finish with a winning record, the No. 6 seed in the East and a first-round playoff matchup against the Orlando Magic. 

That's huge. Of the East's "big three," Orlando is the least big - even though the Magic have the NBA's best big man in Dwight Howard.

That only seems confusing, so you'll have to trust me. No team wants the Cavs or Celtics in the first round. Orlando is a good team but its forwards are hurting and it is very beatable if the 3-pointers aren't falling.

I've been tough on John Paxson and Vinny Del Negro - for good reason - but Pax especially responded to all the criticism by doing something before the trade deadline. His acquisition of Brad Miller and John Salmons gave the Bulls life.

As a result, Derrick Rose has more teammates he can trust and Ben Gordon doesn't feel compelled to take every shot (only most of them).

I'm still not convinced that the team isn't winning despite Del Negro. I also am not convinced Vinny's team knows what defense is. The playoffs will be a nice test.

BLACKHAWKS

They not only are returning to the playoffs for the first time since 2002, but they also have home-ice advantage in the first round.

Calgary is the opening opponent and I'm proud to say I can name one Flames player without looking in their media guide. Thanks for sticking around through my personal five-year hockey strike, Jarome Iginla!

The Hawks' fine young players sure are fun to watch. Nevertheless, I wonder if they are big enough, tough enough and mature enough to make any serious playoff noise. 

I also have doubts that Nikolai Khabibulin is anywhere near the same "Bulin Wall" who carried Tampa Bay to the Stanley Cup a couple years ago - and goaltending is everything come springtime in the NHL. 

BEARS

Cutlermania has only just begun. Bear Country denizens haven't been this excited about their quarterback since ... Caleb Hanie last preseason!

It would be easier to buy in to the bullishness on the Bears if they had a couple of worthwhile receivers and if the defense wasn't as big a problem as the offense ever since Super Bowl XLI.

Still, the Bears at least have a chance to be good now, and that's more than I would have said a few weeks ago.

So bravo, boys, enjoy the accolades you're getting now before you actually have to start playing football again.

The Quote

Talking about infielders getting intimidated by dirty, hard-sliding baserunners, Bob Brenly offered this nugget during Monday's Cubs telecast: 

"A lot of times, guys get a little light in their loafers around the bag."

Uh, sure ... not that there's anything wrong with that.