For Hall of Famer Worm, still time to be truly outrageous

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Dennis Rodman showed up at the Hall of Fame announcement wearing jeans, sneakers, sunglasses, a black baseball cap, a leopard-spot scarf and a white shirt with gold sequined cuffs. The other enshrinees-to-be wore suits, of course.

When he is inducted in August, Worm says, his personal designer will "make a lot of crazy stuff."

I'll say now what I told Rodman during one of our many fun conversations in the '90s: "Dennis, if you really want to be outrageous, show up with no facial jewelry and with your natural hair color (whatever that is). And for God's sake, wear a tux, tails and top hat. For you THAT would be outrageous!"

While I think it's cool that Worm got in the Hall of Fame based on his rebounding and defense -- he was a huge part of the personality of his era, not to mention an important contributor to five championship teams -- I fully understand the argument of those who thought his almost total lack of scoring ability should have kept him out.

What I don't understand is how it took so long for Tex Winter to get in.

One of basketball's great innovators and coaches deserved to be enshrined when he was young and healthy enough to fully appreciate it.
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Limiting Bulls to Van Gundys, Fratellos would be silly

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We could start and end with Phil Jackson and our case would be made, but that would be no fun. So let's continue with ...

Gregg Popovich ... Rudy Tomjanovich ... Pat Riley ... Tom Heinsohn ... Bill Russell ... Al Attles ... Larry Costello ...

Yes, each of those coaches won a championship - many won multiple championships - for the franchise that gave him his first NBA head-coaching job.

And I'm not even counting Chuck Daly, who coached Cleveland to a 9-32 half-season record as an interim before the Pistons took a chance on him and were rewarded with two titles. Nor am I counting the many coaches who, while leading their first NBA team, led their franchises to the Finals but lost.

So for all of those who say the Bulls absolutely must hire a guy who already has been an NBA head coach - a.k.a. a retread - I answer only with a question:

Why?

Why have a knee-jerk reaction to the Vinny debacle, forgetting that he never had been so much as an assistant JV high school coach when John Paxson and Jerry Reinsdorf fell in love with him?

Why not consider all of the outstanding NBA assistants who are ready to take the next step?

Why limit the field by excluding guys who might turn out to be the next Phil Jackson or Pat Riley or Gregg Popovich?

OK, that was four questions. Shoot me with a Taser.

The bald truth about Cedric Benson

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The Bald Truth

Cedric Benson says that Bears players resented him while he was in Chicago and that Bears honchos badmouthed and blackballed him after he left. Lovie Smith says they didn't. Bengals coach Marvin Lewis, who has benefited from Benson's emergence, says Smith actually spoke up on Benson's behalf. What really happened?

Aside from Benson pissing off the Bears by not inviting any of them on his party boat, that is?

Well, here goes ...

Immediately after the Bears drafted him, Benson played the poor-poor-pitiful-me routine, actually crying because he was ready to prove all the naysayers wrong.

He wasn't all that ready, though, because he held out and missed the start of camp. Then, upon signing, he was arrogant and aloof.

So it was all Benson's fault then? Not exactly.

Thomas Jones, obviously threatened by the presence of a top draft pick at his position, was very popular with the other players and took every opportunity to turn his teammates against Benson. Defensive players relished the opportunity to take extra-hard shots at the cocky Benson during training camp.

Just because Benson is paranoid doesn't mean many of his teammates weren't out to get him.

As for blackballing ...

Because Benson offered not even a sliver of evidence, it's pretty tough to give his charge much credence. He's bitter and has an ax to grind. Of course, the fact that the Bears wasted the fourth-overall draft pick and a lot of money on Benson gave some front-office types motive to do a little blackballing.

We probably never will know the truth about that part of the story. So let's just say that if Benson's Bengals beat the Bears in Cinci this Sunday, he's right. And if he loses, he's wrong.

Sounds fair to me.

For what it's worth, the Bengals say they love Benson, who is the league's third-leading rusher. They praise his work habits and say he's a good guy in the locker room. The Bears probably think that if Benson had been this dedicated way back when, things would have been different for him in Chicago.

In the end, this clearly is one of those deals in which everybody won.

Benson needed to get out of Chicago.

The Bears needed to move on.

The Bengals needed a good tailback.

Benson has helped Cincinnati become one of the NFL's surprise teams.

And Matt Forte has the Bears' running game going in high gear. As long as "reverse" also is considered a gear.

The Balder Truth

One could say that Mike Scioscia pulled his starter too early and that Joe Girardi pulled his starter too late.

Or one could say that the pitchers employed by both ALCS teams should have done better at the jobs they are paid handsomely to do.

Egads! Actually holding zillionaire athletes accountable! Have I lost my mind?

As it turned out, after blowing a 4-0 lead, the Angels rallied for a 7-6 victory over the Yankees, sending the series back to New York for Game 6 ... and making their manager look less stupid.

By the way, we all should be as stupid as Scioscia and Girardi.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

It's so sad to hear that Magic Johnson and Isiah Thomas are having a spat.

I mean, isn't it time for them to kiss (again) and make up?

We have clearance, Clarence ... Roger, Roger ... What's our vector, Victor?

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The Bald Truth

As one of the guest celebrities playing for charity this week on Jeopardy, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar impressively nailed correct responses in categories about books, history and oceans. Then came this answer in the category I WENT TO UCLA:

TELL YOUR OLD MAN TO DRAG THIS '70s UCLA & TRAIL BLAZER CENTER (& LANIER!) UP & DOWN THE COURT FOR 48 MINUTES

Kareem buzzed in first and, with a knowing gleam in his eyes, confidently spit out: "Who is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?"

To which Alex Trebek immediately scolded: "No!"

With a shocked look on Abdul-Jabbar's face, Trebek continued: "You're the one who delivered the line, but it was about Bill Walton!"

Kareem, who had delivered that line as co-pilot Roger Murdock in 1980's hilarious Airplane!, hesitated for a second, slapped his bald head, laughed and moaned: "Ohhh ... "

Said Trebek: "Embarrassing moments on Jeopardy!"

In the end, Kareem finished well behind comedic actor Michael McKean (but ahead of CNN's Soledad O'Brien).

Somehow, I think it would have gone better, stewardess, had Trebek spoken jive.

The Balder Truth

Here's a shock: Instead of ripping prospective bid leader Dave Checketts for caving in to public pressure and stabbing him in the back by booting him from a prospective Rams ownership group, Rush Limbaugh blamed "Obama's America."

Tune in Monday, when Limbaugh blames Obama for ESPN firing Rush in 2003, for Rush getting hooked on drugs a few years earlier and for Rush dropping out of college three decades before that.

Damn Obama! Is there no evil that man and his minions cannot perpetrate!

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Albert Pujols says he's in no hurry to work out a contract extension with the Cardinals. A perfect response for a guy who seems in no hurry to get his first postseason extra-base hit since 2006.

So I guess this means McNabb's not going to St. Louis?

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The Bald Truth

When Rush Limbaugh says he wants to buy half of the Rams, we have to assume he's talking about the white half.

The Balder Truth

Word out of Memphis is that new Grizzlies guard Allen Iverson has a partially torn hamstring. He must have gotten it while partially practicing.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Jeez, DeRo, nice throw!

Somebody please tell Mark DeRosa he's no longer with the Cubs and therefore is not contractually obligated to choke in the playoffs.

OK, OK ... DeRo also got three hits in the Cards' Game 1 loss to the Dodgers. And that's as many as Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez combined for when the Cubbies got swept by L.A. last year.

But still ... nice throw, DeRo!

Bo-ring!

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The day after the MLB All-Star Game is the worst day in sports.

No major league ballgames. 

NFL training camp hasn't opened yet.

It's offseason for the NBA and NHL (and well after the opening of free agency in those leagues, so there isn't even much news).

Wimbledon is over and The Open Championship hasn't started.

When WNBA games, Brett Favre silliness and speculation about Allen Iverson signing with the Clippers are the day's big-ticket items, well, we might as well have slept in.

The beautiful thing: The siesta is a short one. Even as I write this, Tiger & Friends are mere hours away from teeing it up over the pond. 

Baseball will be back, too, replete with folks talking about their team being only x games out "in the loss column" and y games out of the wild-card lead. (Or, in the case of the Nationals, zzzzz games out of fourth place.)

Soon enough, the All-Star festivities will be but a distant memory ... and humidity will descend upon St. Louis with enough force to curl those porn-star 'staches the Cardinals are growing.

Yes, all will be right with the world.

In the meantime ... hey, how 'bout that Chamique Holdsclaw, huh? With her putting 28 points on the board for the Dream, those lamentable Lynx never had a chance!

At long last, Cubs pass Baseball 101

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The Bald Truth

So what if it took Lou Piniella 2 1/2 years? At least he eventually got it right: Bat the guy likely to have the highest on-base percentage first, the contact hitter who excels at going to right field (and also is decent at getting on base) second and the power guy somewhere in the middle of the order.

Kosuke Fukudome, No. 1 ... Ryan Theriot, No. 2 ... Alfonso Soriano, No. 6.

After the Cubbie skipper stopped backing down to Soriano - even benching the $136 Million Man for a couple of games in favor of The Great Sam Fuld - Piniella finally passed Baseball 101 at last.

Congrats, Lou!

The Balder Truth

Today's NBA 3-pointer:

1. Celtics get Rasheed Wallace. Here's hoping Beantown isn't actually buying that this soon-to-be-35 loon is the key to a return to championship level. If Kevin Garnett is healthy come playoff time, the Celts will have a chance. If he (or Paul Pierce) isn't, the Celtics are toast. Even in his best days, 'Sheed was no KG. And 'Sheed is at least three years removed from his best days.

2. Spurs get Richard Jefferson. This was the single best move of the NBA offseason - yes, better than the Cavs trading for The Big Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Tourist - and it gives Tim Duncan a leg up on Shaq and Kobe in the race for a fifth NBA title. Duncan + Jefferson + Tony Parker + Manu Ginobili = a lot of freakin' pluses!

3.  Dwyane Wade gives Pat Riley an ultimatum. And a deadline, too. The NBA's third-best player says he wants to stay with the Heat but, he told AP, "I want to make sure that we're on track ... before I sign back." In other words, the 2006 Finals MVP says he won't stay in Miami after next season if the team isn't a legitimate title contender. Because the Heat almost surely won't contend, it will be a wide-open race next summer for Wade's considerable talents. Will the Bulls be enough of a contender a year from now to convince Dwyane to return home? Maybe, maybe not, the Bulls do figure to have considerable cash available, which would be the next best thing.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The long-awaited $900 million sale of the Cubs to the Ricketts family of Omaha finally appears ready to be rubber-stamped by MLB, and you know what that means:

Jim Hendry soon will be allowed to throw more millions at overhyped, underproductive ballplayers in a desperate attempt to buy off the baseball gods.

Wheee!

12 years for Hossa? It only seems like a long time

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The List

The economy has tanked, right? Well, apparently not in the NHL, where the Blackhawks just handed out a 12-year, multi-gajillion-dollar contract to Marian Hossa. 

Twelve years! 

The deal doesn't expire until after the 2020-21 season, which has to be the longest any franchise in any sport has committed to one today's athletes. Hossa will be 42 by then.

Here are 12 things certain to happen in those dozen years:

1. Twitter becomes ancient history, replaced by Thoughter - the process by which we communicate to each other through brainwaves alone. Only 140 characters at a time, please.

2. Princess Sasha takes over the U.S. throne from King Barack.

3. In a dramatic reversal, the medical community says anabolic steroids are essential to the health and well-being of every human. Steroids replace flouride in the water we drink. Athletes are suspended for refusing to take performance-enhancing drugs. Bryce Harper, a one-time phenom who has bulked up to 255 pounds of pure muscle, becomes the first big-league ballplayer to hit 100 home runs in a season. Syringes are available in vending machines at every high school. Jose Canseco is elected MLB commissioner.   

4. After democracy wins out in Iran, the country merges with Iraq. And the great nation of Iranq becomes one of our most loyal allies.

5. Led by manager Ozzie Guillen, the Cubs win their seventh World Series.

6. The Toyota Prius is declared illegal in the U.S. by Princess Sasha, who says: "Sorry, but hybrids use too much fuel."

7. Patrick Kane will be a third of the way through his 24-year contract. But he still can't grow a playoff beard.

8. Fresh out of federal prison, Rod Blagojevich wins American Idol with his flawless performance of Michael Jackson's Thriller.

9. Boise State emerges from the first-ever NCAA Division I football playoffs to win the national title. Raking in $100 million for each of their institutions, presidents from the six major conferences wonder what took them so long to blow up the BCS. 

10. After ceasing to exist for six years, newspapers make a dramatic comeback because readers missed Hagar The Horrible too damn much.

11. At 95, Joe Paterno signs what Penn State is calling "perhaps his last three-year contract extension."

12. Marian Hossa is the unanimous choice as the greatest hockey player of all time and is enshrined in the sport's Hall of Fame even though he's still an active player. His presenter is Wayne Gretzky, now known merely as "The Very Good One." 

The Bald Truth

With a huge victory over the mighty Buccos, the Cubs have convinced me that they'll win the vast majority of their remaining games as long as ...

++Lou Piniella gets ejected every day.

++Randy Wells can make 60 or so starts.

++The Cubs eat the rest of Alfonso Soriano's contract so Sam Fuld can be their left fielder and leadoff hitter.

++Kosuke Fukudome bats, say, .600 from here on in.

++Aramis Ramirez stays healthy through the rest of the regular season, positioning himself perfectly to go 0-for-12 in the playoffs.

The Balder Truth

As a guy who has seen a lot of Bulls games these last five years, I already miss watching Ben Gordon dribble 23 seconds off the clock before hoisting a 27-foot fadeaway.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Last July, the Brewers pulled within a game of the Cubs going into a four-game series at Miller Park. Riding high from their recent acquisition of CC Sabathia, the Brewers were ready to send a message to Cubbieland: We're in the race to stay. 

Four days and one Cubs sweep later, Bernie Brewer had to enter detox.

Flash forward to this weekend: Starting Thursday, the Cubs and Brewers will meet at Wrigley Field for a four-game series. Somehow, the Cubs have stayed in the division race, trailing the Brewers by only 3 1/2 games despite being baseball's biggest underachievers. 

Another Cubs sweep and they'll be in first place (or close to it, depending upon what the Cardinals and Reds do). 

But if the Brewers do in Chicago what the Cubs did in Milwaukee in July 2008 ... well, let's just say it will be open season on Gatorade coolers in the Cubbie dugout.

Best of Pax, worst of Pax

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The List I

John Paxson's Greatest Hits as Bulls GM, the job he has handed over to former assistant Gar Forman:

5. Getting the Knicks to take Eddy Curry - headband, saggy shorts, lack of work ethic and all.

4. Acquiring Brad Miller and John Salmons before the 2009 trading deadline. The Bulls wouldn't have made the playoffs without those two solid professionals. Hell, they might not have made it to March.

3. Hiring Scott Skiles as coach. You knew the players eventually would tune him out, but Skiles was the exact kind of demanding taskmaster a lazy, underachieving group of knuckleheads needed.

2. Crossing his fingers and toes, knocking on wood, rubbing his rabbit's foot, not stepping on cracks and whatever else he did to land Derrick Rose in the 2008 draft lottery.

1. Cleaning up the mess left behind by Jerry Krause. Most notably, convincing Jerry Reinsdorf to eat Eddie Robinson's eight-figure contract. This is the sports equivalent to brokering peace in the Middle East.

The List II

Pax's Greatest Misses:

5. Dumping J.R. Smith about 10 seconds after acquiring him in the trade that sent Tyson Chandler to New Orleans. Smith has gone on to be an outstanding player for a Nuggets team that has gone farther in the playoffs than the post-Jordan Bulls ever have. But hey, at least Pax got the great Howard Eisley in return.

4. Signing Ben Wallace, allegely the final piece of their championship puzzle. I'm proud that I was one of the few Chicago media types who didn't swoon the day the deal was made. (At the time, I heard much screaming from the masses about my negative attitude.) Wallace turned out to be a cancer who poisoned the locker room and openly pined for his former Pistons teammates. Making the whole scene even more absurd: The Bulls refused to relax their ridiculous no-headband rule for this supposed savior, who had been wearing a headband for years.

3. Hiring Vinny Del Negro as coach. There were far, far, far better choices out there - and there still are. The Bulls will need to hire one of them if they are to win anything.

2. Drafting Tyrus Thomas in 2006. Pax, who should have known better, fell in love with the athlete instead of selecting the guy I begged him to take, Brandon Roy. The latter already is a superstar; the former never will be more than an unreliable role player. But boy, it sure is fun watching Tyrus' 10 highlight dunks and 5 highlight blocks a year.

1. Failing to draft Dwyane Wade in 2003. Had Pax agreed to include Donyell Marshall in a deal with Toronto, they would have been in position to take one of the NBA's three best players. Instead, Pax kept Marshall (for a little while, anyway) and settled for Kirk Hinrich. How's that working for the Bulls so far?