^
An early Happy Birthday wish to my former Marquette classmate Glenn Rivers (now universally known as Doc), who was born Oct. 13, 1961, exactly one year after I was.
And while I'm at it, early Happy Birthday wishes to ...
Jerry Rice, the greatest receiver ever to lace 'em up.
Marie Osmond (even though, unlike her, I'm a lotta bit rock 'n' roll).
Paul Simon, who still can get me feelin' groovy.
Dark comedian Lenny Bruce (RIP)
Sacha Baron Cohen, who no doubt will celebrate by making sexy time.
Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who hasn't won a lick since naming himself GM.
Clutch hoopster Paul Pierce (and far-less-clutch hoopster Jermaine O'Neal).
Nancy Kerrigan, one of sport's all-time victims.
Kelly Preston, Jerry Maguire's squeeze.
Kate Walsh. Is there any TV show she hasn't been mediocre in?
Sammy Hagar -- The Red Rocker.
Margaret Thatcher -- The Iron Lady. (RIP)
Ari Fleischer, who as Dubya's press secretary had the dubious assignment of making his boss sound intelligible.
"Foolish" songstress Ashanti.
Trevor Hoffman, who saved 601 games even though his fastball could be measured by a sundial.
Wow ... what a great list of October 13 birthdays!
And while I'm at it, an early Happy Birthday To Me!
For yours truly, it's double-nickels -- a term I'll always associate with Michael Jordan's 55-point performance at Madison Square Garden shortly after his first un-retirement in 1995.
Jeesh ... was that really 20 years ago? How time flies when you share a birth date with Ari Fleischer!
---
And in other less-important news ...
++ Of course Chase Utley's slide was dirty. The rent-a-Dodger was practically past second base when he wiped out Ruben Tejada, breaking the Mets shortstop's leg. Kudos to MLB executive Joe Torre for suspending Utley. It's worth noting that Torre, who has as much integrity as any man in baseball, used to manage the Dodgers.
++ "These things are scripted, I guess, and I wasn't in the script this time." -- Anirban Lahiri, International team golfer, after he missed a short putt to lose to Chris Kirk and cost his team a tie in the Presidents Cup. Hey man, if you want to believe God chose Kirk instead of you and the Americans instead of your team as a rationale for your choke job, go for it.
++ I keep thinking the Seahawks are going to start dominating games again, but they keep avoiding doing so. I hope they delay it at least another week, as they face my Panthers next Sunday.
++ Oh, and one more early birthday shout-out to Phil Arvia, my good buddy and fellow former Chicago sports columnist. Phil has traded in his laptop for a bass guitar, and he's just more proof that there's life after the newspaper biz. I am still waiting for him to invite me on stage to sing, though. You haven't rocked or rolled until you've heard my rendition of Del Shannon's "Runaway"!
Showing posts with label Hornets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hornets. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2015
Friday, June 1, 2012
Today's High 5: NBA conspiracies, idiotic tweets and the baldest of eagles
^
5. I am shocked -- shocked! -- that the Hornets, who have been owned and operated by the NBA this past year, won the Draft Lottery (and the right to select the only great player available).
And I am shocked -- shocked! -- that anybody would dare suggest a conspiracy or a conflict of interest.
4. It seems Albert Pujols isn't the next Mo Vaughn after all.
3. The Baldest Eagle has landed!
That's right: I carded my first-ever eagle on Thursday thanks to a boomer of a drive, a best-of-the-season 5-iron and a 2 1/2 foot putt. If I'd have choked on that putt, I never would have lived it down.
I saved my choke for the next hole, when I hit my 9-iron tee shot within 5 feet and then promptly 3-putted.
Eagle or no eagle ... I still golf like me, dammit!
2. Will any of us ever forget where we were Wednesday, when Kordell Stewart announced his retirement from pro football a mere 7 years after he last wore a uniform?
1. Has-been Wally Szczerbiak took to Twitter to rip ex-teammate Kevin Garnett for being a guy who "lacks the #clutchgene."
Yes, the famously clutch Szczerbiak ... owner of what, a dozen NBA titles? OK, not quite. But he was owner of a reputation as one of the NBA's most selfish players back in his day.
A day that has long since passed, by the way.
Wally Effin Szczerbiak ain't even the lint in KG's belly button. Put a hash-tag on that, loser.
5. I am shocked -- shocked! -- that the Hornets, who have been owned and operated by the NBA this past year, won the Draft Lottery (and the right to select the only great player available).
And I am shocked -- shocked! -- that anybody would dare suggest a conspiracy or a conflict of interest.
4. It seems Albert Pujols isn't the next Mo Vaughn after all.
3. The Baldest Eagle has landed!
That's right: I carded my first-ever eagle on Thursday thanks to a boomer of a drive, a best-of-the-season 5-iron and a 2 1/2 foot putt. If I'd have choked on that putt, I never would have lived it down.
I saved my choke for the next hole, when I hit my 9-iron tee shot within 5 feet and then promptly 3-putted.
Eagle or no eagle ... I still golf like me, dammit!
2. Will any of us ever forget where we were Wednesday, when Kordell Stewart announced his retirement from pro football a mere 7 years after he last wore a uniform?
1. Has-been Wally Szczerbiak took to Twitter to rip ex-teammate Kevin Garnett for being a guy who "lacks the #clutchgene."
Yes, the famously clutch Szczerbiak ... owner of what, a dozen NBA titles? OK, not quite. But he was owner of a reputation as one of the NBA's most selfish players back in his day.
A day that has long since passed, by the way.
Wally Effin Szczerbiak ain't even the lint in KG's belly button. Put a hash-tag on that, loser.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Best of Pax, worst of Pax
^
The List I
John Paxson's Greatest Hits as Bulls GM, the job he has handed over to former assistant Gar Forman:
5. Getting the Knicks to take Eddy Curry - headband, saggy shorts, lack of work ethic and all.
4. Acquiring Brad Miller and John Salmons before the 2009 trading deadline. The Bulls wouldn't have made the playoffs without those two solid professionals. Hell, they might not have made it to March.
3. Hiring Scott Skiles as coach. You knew the players eventually would tune him out, but Skiles was the exact kind of demanding taskmaster a lazy, underachieving group of knuckleheads needed.
2. Crossing his fingers and toes, knocking on wood, rubbing his rabbit's foot, not stepping on cracks and whatever else he did to land Derrick Rose in the 2008 draft lottery.
1. Cleaning up the mess left behind by Jerry Krause. Most notably, convincing Jerry Reinsdorf to eat Eddie Robinson's eight-figure contract. This is the sports equivalent to brokering peace in the Middle East.
The List II
Pax's Greatest Misses:
5. Dumping J.R. Smith about 10 seconds after acquiring him in the trade that sent Tyson Chandler to New Orleans. Smith has gone on to be an outstanding player for a Nuggets team that has gone farther in the playoffs than the post-Jordan Bulls ever have. But hey, at least Pax got the great Howard Eisley in return.
4. Signing Ben Wallace, allegely the final piece of their championship puzzle. I'm proud that I was one of the few Chicago media types who didn't swoon the day the deal was made. (At the time, I heard much screaming from the masses about my negative attitude.) Wallace turned out to be a cancer who poisoned the locker room and openly pined for his former Pistons teammates. Making the whole scene even more absurd: The Bulls refused to relax their ridiculous no-headband rule for this supposed savior, who had been wearing a headband for years.
3. Hiring Vinny Del Negro as coach. There were far, far, far better choices out there - and there still are. The Bulls will need to hire one of them if they are to win anything.
2. Drafting Tyrus Thomas in 2006. Pax, who should have known better, fell in love with the athlete instead of selecting the guy I begged him to take, Brandon Roy. The latter already is a superstar; the former never will be more than an unreliable role player. But boy, it sure is fun watching Tyrus' 10 highlight dunks and 5 highlight blocks a year.
1. Failing to draft Dwyane Wade in 2003. Had Pax agreed to include Donyell Marshall in a deal with Toronto, they would have been in position to take one of the NBA's three best players. Instead, Pax kept Marshall (for a little while, anyway) and settled for Kirk Hinrich. How's that working for the Bulls so far?
The List I
John Paxson's Greatest Hits as Bulls GM, the job he has handed over to former assistant Gar Forman:
5. Getting the Knicks to take Eddy Curry - headband, saggy shorts, lack of work ethic and all.
4. Acquiring Brad Miller and John Salmons before the 2009 trading deadline. The Bulls wouldn't have made the playoffs without those two solid professionals. Hell, they might not have made it to March.
3. Hiring Scott Skiles as coach. You knew the players eventually would tune him out, but Skiles was the exact kind of demanding taskmaster a lazy, underachieving group of knuckleheads needed.
2. Crossing his fingers and toes, knocking on wood, rubbing his rabbit's foot, not stepping on cracks and whatever else he did to land Derrick Rose in the 2008 draft lottery.
1. Cleaning up the mess left behind by Jerry Krause. Most notably, convincing Jerry Reinsdorf to eat Eddie Robinson's eight-figure contract. This is the sports equivalent to brokering peace in the Middle East.
The List II
Pax's Greatest Misses:
5. Dumping J.R. Smith about 10 seconds after acquiring him in the trade that sent Tyson Chandler to New Orleans. Smith has gone on to be an outstanding player for a Nuggets team that has gone farther in the playoffs than the post-Jordan Bulls ever have. But hey, at least Pax got the great Howard Eisley in return.
4. Signing Ben Wallace, allegely the final piece of their championship puzzle. I'm proud that I was one of the few Chicago media types who didn't swoon the day the deal was made. (At the time, I heard much screaming from the masses about my negative attitude.) Wallace turned out to be a cancer who poisoned the locker room and openly pined for his former Pistons teammates. Making the whole scene even more absurd: The Bulls refused to relax their ridiculous no-headband rule for this supposed savior, who had been wearing a headband for years.
3. Hiring Vinny Del Negro as coach. There were far, far, far better choices out there - and there still are. The Bulls will need to hire one of them if they are to win anything.
2. Drafting Tyrus Thomas in 2006. Pax, who should have known better, fell in love with the athlete instead of selecting the guy I begged him to take, Brandon Roy. The latter already is a superstar; the former never will be more than an unreliable role player. But boy, it sure is fun watching Tyrus' 10 highlight dunks and 5 highlight blocks a year.
1. Failing to draft Dwyane Wade in 2003. Had Pax agreed to include Donyell Marshall in a deal with Toronto, they would have been in position to take one of the NBA's three best players. Instead, Pax kept Marshall (for a little while, anyway) and settled for Kirk Hinrich. How's that working for the Bulls so far?
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