Wow! What A Day!

^
I'm thinking that there will be even better days to come, but it will be pretty hard to top Jan. 24, 2017.

To date, it's my favorite day of 2017 ... BY FAR.

++ This morning, I received word that the captain and point guard of my girls basketball team, Ritika, was medically cleared after having suffered a mild concussion that had kept her out of four games. We had managed to win our first playoff game without her thanks to a tough-minded (albeit a little sloppy) effort by the rest of girls, but Ritika is the best player in our league and she makes everybody better. I was happy for my Eagles that she would be returning and, selfishly, happy for myself. But mostly I was happy for Ritika, because I think she loves basketball more than any player I've coached. Sitting out was driving her nuts!!!!!

++ A few hours later, we played our semifinal game and we were outstanding. Ritika was absolutely amazing - watching her, one never would have believed she had been sidelined. She and her teammates dominated our outclassed opponent in every facet of the game. We were up 18-2 when I called off the press in the second quarter, and we cruised to victory to advance to the conference championship game for the third consecutive season. Thursday, we go for our second straight title.

++ Right after our game, the school's boys team played really well to win their quarterfinal game. I was so caught up in the action that I made a few mistakes running the clock for the game. My girls, many of whom stuck around to watch their classmates, now have something they can make fun of me for. Or maybe I should say they have something ELSE they can make fun of me for!

++ Finally, my Marquette Golden Warrior Eagles stormed from behind to beat defending national champion Villanova - the No. 1 team in the country - in a thrilling finish. Students and others in attendance stormed the court to celebrate the "signature win" for third-year Steve Wojciechowski, which came just three days after a huge road victory over No. 7 Creighton. Tuesday was the first time we had beaten a No. 1-ranked team since Dwayne Wade led the 2003 group into the Final Four with an incredible win over Kentucky. Wow!

I'm still flying pretty high from all of the day's excitement, and I'm already looking forward to the rest of what's shaping up as one heck of a week.
^

I would have paid to see Cavs owner grovel at The King's feet!

^
Good for Cleveland.

And good for LeBron.

When we last saw King James on a decision-making day, he was the lead actor in "The Decision," the ridiculous, narcissistic 2010 ESPN show on which he announced he was taking his talents to South Beach.

On Friday, he couldn't have been classier, penning an article for SI.com in which he explained his emotional ties to Northeast Ohio and said the draw to return home was just too great for him to resist. He complimented the Heat organization, called Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade his "brothers" and came out looking so much bigger than Dan Gilbert.

You remember Gilbert, right? He's the ass-hat of a Cavs owner who four years ago posted an infamous and infantile rant on the team's Web site in which he questioned LeBron's courage and character. Laughingly, he also predicted that he would would win a championship in Cleveland before LeBron did for Miami.

That LeBron returned to Cleveland anyway - for less money than he would have gotten from the Heat - practically suggests he should change his moniker from King James to Saint James.

Gilbert supposedly threw himself on the mercy of King James' court a few days ago, begging forgiveness and apologizing relentlessly. It must have been quite a scene, Gilbert groveling at the feet of the man he ripped four years earlier.

Of course, Gilbert wasn't sincere. He had four years to remove that tripe from the Web site and to apologize like a man, but he left it up there until just a few days ago - when, much to his surprise, James started sending out signals that he would return to Cleveland despite Gilbert.

Almost as funny as Gilbert's pathetic pleas for forgiveness: the conspiracy theorists who think that this was all an NBA plant. Not only did the Cavs win some draft lotteries lately, they now also have LeBron.

Oh, absolutely. Forget having viable teams in New York, L.A., Chicago, Miami, Philly and Boston. The one thing the NBA desperately wants is a winner in Cleveland.

As for what's left of the Heat, reports started surfacing Friday afternoon that Bosh would spurn the Rockets to stay in Miami (for more money, of course) and that maybe Wade would stay with him (though the Bulls also want Wade, and why wouldn't they?). The East is so weak that a Bosh-Wade pairing, surrounded by decent role players, probably would win 45-50 games next season.

Bosh and Wade come out of this smelling like roses, too. Both were willing to wait for James to finalize his decision before they did anything, and both apparently were willing to take major pay cuts had LeBron opted to stay in Miami.

The focus now is on Carmelo Anthony. He supposedly favors going to Chicago because the Bulls are so much better than the Knicks, but he'd be leaving some $50 million on the table to do so.

Fifty-million bucks! I mean, we're talkin' Nadel Money there!!

Now, I never begrudge anybody for going for the money; just don't take the money and then try to claim it's all about winning. Because if it's all about winning, he'd go play with Joakim Noah and a healthy (?) Derrick Rose instead of with a bunch of stiffs in New York.

It's been a fun week of speculation, and with Carmelo still a free agent it isn't done yet.

I genuinely am happy for my friends in Cleveland, who deserve to watch the greatest player in the world again. I only wish Dan Gilbert wouldn't be a major beneficiary, as well, because he deserves nothing but scorn.
^

Finally time for the Finals!

^
The NHL is the most egalitarian league. If you make it to the playoffs, you have a chance. Not a chance only in a cliche kind of way - I mean, every team that makes the playoffs in every sport thinks it has a chance even though the opposite is true - but a legitimate shot at winning the Stanley Cup.

Look at what the L.A. Kings, who finished sixth in the Western Conference during the season, have done to reach the Stanley Cup Final. They fell behind the Sharks 3 games to none but stormed back to win the series, taking Games 5 and 7 on the road. They then met the Ducks, the No. 1 seed, and fell behind 3 games to 2 before winning the last two games. Then came the defending Cup champion Blackhawks. This time, the Kings got the 3-1 series lead and let Chicago back in it before rallying from a late Game 7 deficit to win in OT.

On L.A.'s winning goal, Al Martinez flipped a soft 50-foot shot from the point. The puck appeared to nick somebody's stick in the shot, changing directions slightly. Its trajectory continued upward until it hit the shoulder of Chicago defenseman Nick Leddy. That changed the direction of the puck yet again, and it fluttered past goalie Corey Crawford and into the net. Wow!

When was the last time an NBA team made it to the Finals on a basket that deflected off an opponent's shoulder?

Whereas David Tyree's catch in the 2008 Super Bowl is considered one of the most miraculous (and fortuitous) plays in sports history, goals like Martinez's happen ALL THE TIME in the NHL. Luck is a bigger factor in hockey than in any other sport, as the puck takes wild bounces constantly. Then there's the goaltender factor - a hot goalie can (and has) carried seemingly inferior teams to great heights. There is no real equivalent in other sports.

So with the Kings getting great goaltending from Jonathan Quick - a native of my hometown of Milford, Conn. - and getting even greater bounces at the most crucial moments, they were able to win three Game 7s, all on the road. Amazing.

By comparison, the Rangers had an easy road to the Final, although the Eastern Conference's No. 5 seed did have to overcome a 3-games-to-1 deficit to defeat the heavily favored Penguins in the second round.

So the Final, which starts Wednesday, will pit the clubs that had the league's 9th- and 12th-best records.

Is it a total cop-out to predict that the luckiest team will win?

Yes? Tough, because that's the best I can do!

+++

Meanwhile, it was far easier to predict what happened in the NBA, where the team with the best regular-season record (Spurs) will meet the two-time defending champs (Heat). What else is new?

I can't remember the last time the NBA produced a true surprise at this stage - and that's fine, too. We have the NHL for that. The NBA tends to reward teams for proven, sustained excellence.

I enjoy watching the Heat thanks to the amazing LeBron James. Plus, his second fiddle is Dwyane Wade, arguably the greatest basketball player in Marquette history.

Even with those stars, however, Heat games sometimes are boring because they can be slow-paced defensive battles. LeBron and Wade also tend to go 1-on-1 quite often, which leads to a lot of standing around by their teammates and a lot of 3-pointers jacked at the 24-second-clock buzzer.

The Spurs, on the other hand, are almost always a pleasure to watch. They share the ball beautifully and play sound fundamental basketball. They also are much taller than the Heat, helping to create even more of a contrast of styles.

The teams met in a memorable NBA Finals last year. The Spurs seemingly had the title won in Game 6 but a questionable coaching decision by the usually outstanding Gregg Popovich helped cost his team the game and, eventually the title. (Popovich inexplicably benched Tim Duncan down the stretch, leading to Chris Bosh grabbing key offensive rebounds, including one that set up Ray Allen's tying 3-pointer.)

Now Popovich and the Spurs get a chance at revenge ... and it says here that they'll get it.

The Spurs have homecourt advantage, which is always huge but is even bigger now that the league has returned to a 2-2-1-1-1 format for the Finals. The change (from 2-3-2) means the Spurs will be home not just for Game 7 if necessary but also for the always pivotal fifth game.

Beyond that, I just like the way the Spurs match up with the Heat. Popovich can go big and the Heat really can't answer that. Popovich can, however, match the Heat if both teams want to go small. Kawhi Leonard is an excellent defender who will make LeBron work for everything, and if Manu Ginobili's shot is on, he will cause big problems for the Heat.

And I just talked about two Spurs difference-makers without even mentioning future Hall of Famers Duncan and Tony Parker.

The Heat will need Bosh to justify his $100 million salary and also will need major contributions from several supporting players, most notably Allen, Mario Chalmers and a couple of bigs.

I'm saying Spurs in 6, and they won't even need a basket that deflects off of Udonis Haslem's earlobe to do it.
^

Special LeBron isn't Michael ... at least not yet

^
LeBron, what a stud. Clearly the best player of the post-Jordan era ... and, frankly, it isn't very close.

The ill-informed people who claim he's not a winner ... what do they say now? Two straight titles, three straight NBA Finals, four Finals overall (counting the one with an otherwise awful Cleveland team). Yeah, what a loser. If the haters would bother looking up LeBron's amazing stats for Game 7s and other elimination games throughout his career, they'd have a tough time being haters.

The man is special, and I found myself rooting for him because I like special. I've been watching sports pretty darn closely for more decades than I care to admit, and I still get a kick out of special because special doesn't come along very often.

And now, as the leader of a repeat world champion, LeBron haters have only two things left to rag him about: He was jerk for doing "The Decision," and he isn't Michael Jordan.

The first was silliness that has zero relevance today. And the second, well, that just puts him at the head of a very long line. There's no shame in being second to Jordan, and James still has five or 10 or however many years left to play catch up.

For me, it's pretty simple: I just like watching the dude play ball.

(Oh, and that Wade guy from Marquette ain't chopped liver, either!)
^

Bulls hammer Heat; also, rockin' with Roger Clyne

^
Call 'em the Thug-A-Bulls.

That's not a criticism at all. If I were coach Tom Thibodeau -- and with my rugged chubbiness and bulging bank account, we are often mistaken for each other -- I would do the exact same thing against the Heat.

Playing without Derrick Rose, Luol Deng and Kirk Hinrich (and, for all intents and purposes, without Carlos Boozer, who appears ready to do his annual postseason disappearing act), the Bulls pushed and shoved and hammered and stomped and hip-checked and elbowed their way to victory in Game 1.

It's not cheating. It's not even dirty. There are three refs on the floor, and it is their job to make the calls. It's the job of Thibodeau and his players to win the game.

The Bulls also outhustled their more-heralded opponents. And down the stretch, the Bulls -- not the Jordan/Pippen/Grant Bulls, mind you, but the Robinson/Belinelli/Gibson Bulls -- made all the clutch plays.

Playing all 48 minutes for the third straight playoff game, my Marquette homie, Jimmy Butler, had 21 points and 14 rebounds and, more importantly, made LeBron James work hard for every inch of space on the court. Sometimes that involved Butler fouling LeBron. Hard. That's why the MVP gets the big bucks.

Yes, the Bulls did more than beat the Heat -- and even did more than beat up the Heat. They flustered and demoralized LeBron, Dwyane Wade & Co., got them to do things they normally don't.

A few examples:

-- After taking a 76-69 lead that seemingly put the Heat in command with 6:22 left, the next two minutes go like this: Norris Cole fouls Nate Robinson, who makes both FTs ... 24-second violation on Heat ... Wade fouls Butler, who makes both FTs ... Ray Allen badly misses 3-pointer ... Marco Belinelli makes 3-pointer ...  Mario Chalmers misses 1 of 2 FTs for Miami ... Taj Gibson makes jumper to put Chicago ahead. Neither James nor Wade even attempt a shot during this stretch.

-- With 2:21 left, James hits a FT to give Heat an 86-83 lead. Miami doesn't score again. LeBron misses his second FT ... Joakim Noah rebounds Chicago miss, leading to Belinelli's tying 3-pointer ... Chris Bosh misses jumper ... Robinson scores to put Bulls ahead to stay.

-- With Miami down 2 and the clock ticking close to the minute mark, a defensive switch leaves Belinelli on James, who immediately goes to the post for a pass that never comes. Instead, Wade, a career 29% shooter from 3-point range, launches a brick from way outside. Noah grabs the rebound, Robinson scores again and Miami players look like they've lost their best friends. Fans start heading for the exit even though their team is only down 4 and plenty of time remains.

-- James then misses a short jumper from the baseline with 29 seconds left and doesn't bother going back on defense. Again, the Heat is only down 4. Instead of trying to do something -- anything! -- to get his team back in the game, the MVP is sulking. It's one of several times either he or Wade react that way, usually because they're whining about fouls not being called.

I love watching LeBron do his thing and believe he is the best player in the world since Jordan's heyday. But Michael never would have reacted the way LeBron repeatedly did. And I've always liked Wade, another fellow Marquetter, but these days he spends almost as much time complaining as he does playing.

So there you have it ... the best player on the planet and another in the top 10 let the battered, beleaguered Bulls get into their heads and steal home-court advantage.

I still think the Heat will win the series, but only if they stop feeling sorry for themselves and stop thinking the NBA owes them another title.

I'm sure they spent the better part of a week hoping and praying that the Nets would beat the Bulls because the Heat wanted no part of this scrappy, hard-working, physical team.

Sorry, BronBron, you've got the Bulls. Deal with it.

---

Robbie and I had our most fun weekend of the spring.

We took in two concerts by Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers -- one in suburban Washington, the other in Philly; yeah, I guess that officially makes us freakin' groupies!

The scene in Falls Church, Va. If you click on the photo to expand it and look very, very carefully, you can see me and Robbie in the very center of the picture, about three rows back.

Robbie, Roger & Me after Philly show

In Philadelphia, we introduced my brother Al and his girlfriend Sandy to our favorite band, and like all others we've indoctrinated, they had a blast. We also played bad golf, ate good food, drank a few Yuenglings (America's oldest brewery, by the way), and enjoyed the company of another brother, Lee.

Grub, grog, great tunes and family. As Roger sings (with gusto):

HERE'S TO LIFE!

^

The Bulls: LeBron & Company's worst nightmare

^
The last team the Miami Heat want to see in the second round of the playoffs:

The Chicago Bulls.

LeBron James, the best basketball player on the planet since Michael Jordan was in his prime, is as good as any two Bulls not named Derrick Rose. Maybe any three. Throw in Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and a nice supporting cast that includes Ray Allen and Shane Battier, and the series shouldn't even be close.

But if the Bulls get past the Nets - and it certainly seems they will after Saturday's incredible triple-OT win - they will battle the Heat to their last breaths. The Bulls will not concede. They will grab and fight and claw and frustrate and demand that you hustle as much as they do or else.

The Heat would roll over the Nets. Is it possible to win a best-of-7 series in 2? That's how lopsided that series would be. But the Bulls?

Even if the Heat were to find a way to sweep the Bulls (and I sincerely doubt they would), LeBron & Co. will have known they were in a basketball war.

It will be the kind of basketball war that could make the Heat more beatable later in the playoffs.

The Heat needs the Bulls like I need a bigger nose.
^

Bracket? I don't need no stinkin' bracket!

^
Ten years ago, I had the best NCAA hoops bracket of my life.

I correctly predicted 7 of the Elite Eight -- Marquette, Kentucky, Arizona, Kansas, Syracuse, Oklahoma and Texas. I missed only on Michigan State (having picked Florida instead). I then nailed 3 of the Final Four -- Marquette, Syracuse and Texas (erroneously picking Arizona over Kansas in the West title game, which the Jayhawks won by 3).

And here was the cherry on top: Once the Syracuse-Kansas championship game was set, I made this prediction, in print, for everybody to see: "It says here that Carmelo Anthony will shoulder the load one more time. Syracuse, 81, Kansas 77."

Carmelo had 20 points, 10 rebounds and 7 assists as Syracuse won 81-78. That's right: I was off by exactly one Kansas point.

I should have walked away from predicting right then and there, just as Roy Williams walked away from Kansas.

It's been downhill since, as my Oscar pick of "Battleship" will attest. I think the only prediction I've gotten right in the last decade was that the Internet would adversely affect the newspaper industry.

I'm going to celebrate the 10-year anniversary of my dream bracket by doing something radical, something unique, something profound.

Something un-American.

I'm not going to fill out a bracket this year.

The reason? I don't feel like it.

Of course, this means having to hear about everybody and his uncle's brackets and not even being able to follow up by saying, "Yeah, but I had Valpo over Michigan State."

My favorites are the dudes (and dudettes) who fill out multiple brackets. The reason for this is what? To be the Mitt Romney of sports prognostication?

What would me filling out a bracket prove, anyway? Either I go with my heart and predict Marquette to win it all ... or I go with my head and pick against Marquette. In the latter case, if I really care about being right, it would mean rooting against the only sports team I love. What sense would that make?

One reason I had a great bracket in 2003 was that I predicted Marquette to reach the Final Four. It wasn't a crazy pick. The Golden Warriors did have Dwyane Wade, two other guys who would go on to play in the NBA (Travis Diener and Steve Novak) and the best big man to play there in a quarter-century (Robert Jackson). Still, it was hard for me to claim it was an objective pick.

That year, Marquette just so happened to play at the same subregional site as Illinois. I was covering the Illini so, as a bonus, I got to watch the first two Marquette tourney games. Holy Cross, the 14th seed, had Marquette beaten until Diener -- not Wade, who was ordinary at best -- went nuts from 3-point range. I didn't cheer from press row. I NEVER cheered from press row during my entire career. But I did bury my head in my hands in frustration at one point. At another juncture, I had to get up from press row and take a short walk into the hallway because I couldn't take the idea of our best team since the Al McGuire Era losing its NCAA opener to Holy Freakin' Cross.

My buddy, then-Southtown columnist Phil Arvia, later told mutual friends that "Nadel was going crazy" -- suggesting I was ranting and raving on press row. Truth is, I was going crazy, but only inside, and very quietly. Damn you, Arvia ... I'll accept your apology any time.

The Missouri game was a wild OT affair, with the Golden Warriors outscoring the Tigers 21-12 in the extra session to finish with a preposterous 101 points. Again, it wasn't Wade who stole the show. Novak, then  the team's freshman sixth man, introduced himself to the nation by hitting approximately a gazillion 3-pointers.  I was really into that game but, again, not outwardly.

Anyway, I digress. Even though this Marquette team isn't nearly as talented as that one was, if I was picking a bracket I'd have to say my lads would win the national title.

Or I'd have to fill out a second bracket with Louisville, my actual pick, doing so.

So why bother?

I've been called many things over the years, but Mitt Jr. has never been one of them.
^

Dopey discourse about Rose and Thibodeau

^
Plenty of folks actually think Tom Thibodeau is to blame for Derrick Rose's torn ACL. Apparently, a coach is supposed to take out all of his best players with a 12-point lead and 1:20 to go in a playoff game.

If so, Erik Spoelstra must really be an idiot. The Heat led the Knicks by 12 with about a minute to go tonight, and LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh were still playing. It's a miracle all three weren't hurt by a falling scoreboard or three banana peels on the court.

Stupid Spoelstra. Coaching to win. Coaching to make sure his team wasn't victimized by a remarkable comeback, kind of like when Reggie Miller scored 8 points in 9 seconds against the Knicks back in '95 ... or, hey, like when the Clippers came back from a 27-point fourth-quarter deficit just 24 hours ago.

Dopey Spoelstra. Dopey Thibideau. Even though there isn't a coach in the entire NBA -- and probably not in major-college basketball, either -- who feels safe with a 12-point lead with 80 seconds to go, they should have had all of their scrubs playing.

Fools. It's a wonder they even have coaching jobs.
^

A damn shame: Rose finished, and so are Bulls

^

Derrick Rose planted his left foot and "heard something pop."That something was the Bulls' title chances.

I'm neither a Bulls fan nor a Bulls hater, but I hate this. I hate that Rose's season had to end this way. And I hate that a Bulls team that was good enough to win it all now has little hope to do so.

Like life itself, sports ain't fair.

Ask the Carolina Tar Heels, who lost their point guard just as they were starting to look like a championship team. Ask Peyton Manning's Colts, who learned this past season about the fragile line between being a title contender and a laughingstock. Ask any team that thought it had a legitimate chance at a special season only to see it blown apart by an injury to a star player.

And Rose wasn't just another star. In a league of great point guards, he was the best last season. Hell, he was the best player at any position, easily winning the MVP. This season, the Bulls built a team around him that was ready to go for the gold. Even though he had to miss a couple dozen games nursing a variety of injuries, I thought the Bulls would be OK because, unlike many players during this compressed season, he would be relatively fresh for the playoffs.

With 23 points, 9 rebounds and 9 assists, Rose looked plenty fresh (albeit a little rusty) in Saturday's dismantling of the 76ers. But with less than a minute and a half to go, his knee gave out. Torn ACL. Season over.

The Bulls did amazingly well when playing without Rose this season, but let's be real. There's a reason C.J. Watson and John Lucas III have been backups their entire careers. 

After beating the Sixers, the Bulls will have a difficult time in the next round against either the Celtics or Hawks. And if they somehow survive that series, their luck surely will run out against the Heat in the Eastern finals.

And that's a damn shame.

With Derrick Rose, the Bulls were good enough to send LeBron and D-Wade packing.

Without him, they're just another team destined to end its season with a question that starts with the words "What" and "if."

^

Today's High 5 - NBA Finals edition

^
5. LeBron haters, led by classless Cavs owner Dan Gilbert, are in heaven. The Evil One not only lost in the NBA Finals but looked pretty feeble in doing so.

Only a pathetic loser wastes so much time and energy hating an athlete for merely making a basketball decision.

4. At the same time, I have little sympathy for LeBron, whom some have painted as a pitiable victim. He faced an unfair amount of scrutiny, his apologists claim.

Please. He couldn't have handled his exit from Cleveland more poorly. He made his choice. He gets to live with the consequences.

Bottom line: In the most important games of his career, when he had a chance to make the haters eat crow, he pissed down his leg.

3. My fellow Marquetter Dwyane Wade did his best to carry LeBron during the Finals but he, too, cracked under pressure. At least he's already got his ring.

2. In a move even bolder than the '85 Bears doing the Super Bowl Shuffle at midseason, Mavs guard Jason Terry got a tattoo of the NBA championship trophy. After some early-series struggles, he played huge in the final two games and earned the right to keep his ink.

Terry, Jason Kidd, Shawn Marion and several other Dallas veterans showed how hard work, stick-to-itiveness and teamwork can yield incredible results.

Those were good stories for the victors, and yet I was more interested in the one authored by Tyson Chandler. Practically run out of Chicago by a Bulls management team that thought he lacked heart, the Mavs center got one important offensive rebound after another.

Who'd have thought he'd be the first post-Jordan Bulls draft pick to win an NBA title?

1. Larry Bird averaged 24 points, 10 rebounds and 6 assists during his amazing career, rescued a Celtics franchise that had lost its way and led Boston to three titles -- including one in just his second season.

There isn't a soul who would compare Dirk Nowitzki to Bird if both men weren't white. Nowitzki is no Larry Bird.

That being said, it was nice to see Dirk win his first title and play so well in taking the Mavs to their first ever championship.

His fourth-quarter offensive performances throughout the playoffs helped erase the bitter memory of his 2006 choke job in the Finals. It must have been a huge weight off his shoulders.

This time, he completely took charge -- just as Bird and Jordan and Magic did in their day. And just as LeBron couldn't do for the Heat.
^

Thankfully, I avoided stepping on Shaq's toe

^
In what seems a lifetime ago, I covered the 1993 NBA All-Star Game in Salt Lake City for AP. Looking back, two things stand out:

1. A few other sportswriters and I went out for lunch the day of the game. It started snowing lightly as we got out of the cab and entered the restaurant. About an hour later, there had to have been a foot and a half of snow on the ground. It was the biggest, fastest blizzard I ever had seen. And that's saying something, because I lived in Minnesota for almost 10 years.

2. My game assignment was to write about Shaquille O'Neal, the NBA's rookie sensation. I can't remember what I wrote, but I do remember getting into the locker room as quickly as possible after the game and planting myself next to Shaq's locker. Even back then, he was a notorious quiet-talker, so I knew the microphone on my tape recorder wouldn't pick up a thing he said if I didn't stand thisclose. He came out of the shower and sat down on his chair, and his huge left foot literally was an inch from my right shoe. I was barely listening to what he said because all I kept thinking was, "Mike, you clod, don't step on one of this guy's toes!"

Shaq was neither the best center I ever covered (that would have been Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) nor the largest human I ever saw (the Jazz had a center named Mark Eaton, whose head was roughly the size of a Yugo). But he was close in both categories.

The super-athletic O'Neal was the fourth-best center in basketball history, behind only Kareem, Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain. I used to get a kick out of when his critics would say, "All he can do is dunk." To which I'd respond: "Yeah, 15 or 20 times a game."

His biggest failing was his horrific free-throw shooting. He used to claim he made them all the time in practice. That cracked me up, because it meant he was admitting he was a choker who couldn't handle game pressure. In reality, Shaq was a damn good big-game performer. Still, he needed a great facilitator -- Kobe Bryant in L.A., Dwyane Wade in Miami -- to win his titles.

One thing for sure: Shaq was a wonderful character who marketed himself brilliantly and turned himself into an international brand. Sure, his movies sucked. But he made seven more of them -- and got paid handsomely for seven more of them -- than you or I did.

Sports needs more characters not fewer. Shaquille O'Neal will be missed.
^

Chilly reception for Heat in Chi-town

^
Dwyane looked a step slow and LeBron looked distracted. Having said that, the Bulls were so freakin' impressive in Game 1, it would be an injustice to say they won only because Wade and James were off.

The Bulls completely out-hustled, out-shot, out-defended and out-coached the Heat. They won by 21 points, and the game wasn't really that close.

For all of their high-priced individual talent, if the Heat can't keep Joakim Noah and the rest of the Bulls from dominating the offensive boards, they can't win the series. Period.
^

LeBron's tears, Bo's jeers and a Tea-Bagger's Marquette "career"

^
Several Heat players were crying in the locker room after Sunday's home loss to the Bulls.

Sources say LeBron and Dwyane handed each of the weepers a hundy to dry their eyes.

In other basketball news, kudos to the marketing folks at The Ohio State University for their brutally brilliant response to Bo Ryan's unapologetic suggestion that Buckeyes star Jared Sullinger just "deal with it" after Wisconsin fans supposedly spat on him last month.

Before Sunday's rematch in Columbus, some 1,400 students were given red towels emblazoned with the phrase DEAL WITH IT. Sullinger and the Buckeyes then dealt with the Badgers, rolling to a lopsided win to wrap up a 29-2 regular season and Big Ten title.

Word is, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker was so impressed that he ordered 50,000 of the towels to give to teachers in his state.

A day earlier -- the same day that my beloved Golden Warrior Eagles fell apart in a must-win game at Seton Hall -- I learned that Walker was a fellow Marquette alumnus. I was pretty depressed until just a little research revealed that the Tea Party darling isn't really a fellow MU alum at all. See, to be an alum, one must have graduated.

When Walker dropped out after three-plus years, he was nowhere near getting his degree. Seems he had flunked and/or dropped too many classes. He simply couldn't hack it.

Amazing. I pretty much drank non-stop for four years and still got a Marquette degree -- and then landed employment in my chosen profession despite a job market statistically worse than the current mess Walker has helped foster.

Hell, even Chris Farley managed to get a degree at Marquette, and he was stoned approximately 23 hours a day.

Yep, leave it to a college dropout to try to torpedo teachers. The world's a crazy place, no?
^

If LeBron's a doody-head, Dan Gilbert's a double-doody-head

^
Just for the heck of it, let's agree that every single word Cavs owner Dan Gilbert says about LeBron is true:

LeBron is a self-promoting, narcissistic,disloyal, cowardly, heartless, callous, selfish, shameful, disrespectful, immature jerk who quit on the Cavs in the playoffs each of the last two years.

Now consider this:

Gilbert was ready to give one of the richest contracts in the history of sports to a self-promoting, narcissistic, disloyal, cowardly, heartless, callous, selfish, shameful, disrespectful, immature quitter.

What does that say about Gilbert's intelligence, management savvy and ability to judge character?

Gilbert now is "guaranteeing" that his gutted Cavaliers will win a title before the James-Wade-Bosh triumverate does in Miami.

I'd happily take that bet and give Gilbert 3-to-1 odds.

Hey, if I were a Cavs fan, I'd take him at his word and buy the most expensive season-ticket package the team sells - as long as the loyal, honorable, non-narcissistic Gilbert's guarantee is of the 100-percent-refund variety.

And speaking of money-back guarantees ...

My son Ben and his buddy, Billy, couldn't resist. A couple of weeks ago, each bought a 2010-11 season ticket to the Bulls on the chance that the team would land LeBron, which would have given the ducats some serious value.

Oh well ... at least Ben and Billy didn't buy 10 years ago in anticipation of Tim Duncan, Grant Hill and Tracy McGrady coming to Chicago - the last time the Bulls cleared out salary-cap space for what was then hailed as the greatest free-agent class ever.

Besides, the boys probably still will be able to make a tidy profit on quite a few games - especially the two against LeBron's Heat (but probably not when the Bulls face Gilbert's 25-win Cavs).

D-Wade gets his man ... but first, another commercial

^
You know, ESPN couldn't have milked the LeBron deal any more if Jim Gray had pulled up a stool and started squeezing LeBron's udders.

So now the Heat has - or is it the Heat have? I never really know - LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh. Sources say they'll soon be joined by Aquaman and Wonder Woman to form the greatest Justice League ever!

Though Clevelanders are downright pissed at him right now, LeBron actually was kind of unselfish with this decision. Really. He could have made more money with the Cavs, could have scored more endorsements with the Bulls and could have been an international icon with the Knicks. He really did choose the most likely championship situation. How 'bout that?

D-Wade didn't have to change teams. He added the best teammate in the league. He increased his odds of multiple titles significantly. And he came out of it with the biggest paycheck of them all. Oh, and Florida doesn't even have a state sales tax.

Yep, the man is so smart, it's almost as if he went to Marquette!

From incomplete Bull to goofy golf

^
It's hard to blame Reinsdorf & Co. for failing to land any of LeBron, D-Wade or Bosh. I mean, they had to take the chance and all it really cost them was Kirk Hinrich, Ben Gordon and a decent chunk of self-esteem.

It's not like 1998, when they ran the best coach in history, the best player in history and perhaps the best sidekick in history out of town - thus breaking up one of the best dynasties in history at least a half-decade prematurely - so they could get lousy and load up on high draft picks and free agents only to end up with Curry, Fizer, Floyd and Mercer.

And Kornel David, of course.

Oh, and don't forget that the Bulls could have had D-Wade all this time but Pax refused to trade Donyell Marshall for the right to move up in the '03 draft. How'd that work out?

On a more important note ...

One reason I like golf is that something unique seems to happen every round. I got an urge to play a quick 9 Wednesday so I went to the closest park district course. I got paired with 3 other guys and it was fun - albeit hot as h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

Anyway, we got to the 8th hole, a short par-3. One of the guys put his tee shot on the back of the huge green, which would have been great except the flag was at the front, about 65-70 feet away.

Eventually, the other 3 of us joined him on the green and as he walked up to his ball, I laughed and said: "That's a gimme. Pick it up."

And you know what? He did. Put the ball in his pocket and walked away. Pretty sure he marked a 2 down on his scorecard, too.

Jeesh. Even Tiger doesn't try that kind of cheating.

This has been a LeBron TV Production

^
I was really surprised to hear that LeBron will announce his big decision in prime time Thursday on ESPN. I mean, to this point in his life, everything he's done has been so understated.

My sources tell me it's between the Grizzlies and the Bucks.

Kid all you want about the speculation and hype and rumors and such. All I know is that it can't be easy for LeBron to decide between playing one more year for the Vikings or riding tractors in Hattiesburg.

If the Bulls miss out on LeBron and D-Wade and Bosh, word is that they already have a contract ready for Ron Mercer.

Did I say the Grizzlies or Bucks? Now that Vinny Del Negro will coach the Clippers, how can LeBron resist being the No. 1 attraction for L.A.'s No. 4 pro hoops team? And psssst ... my informant tells me that LeBron will command even more money than most of the UCLA and USC kids do.

ESPN's hoops expert, Chris Broussard, put his reputation on the line Tuesday by predicting LeBron just might end up in New Jersey. Unless he goes to New York. Or Miami. Or Chicago. Or re-signs with Cleveland. Seems that Broussard's segment ran out of time before he could name the other 25 teams.

Wake me when LeWhatsHisName chooses a team

^

Today's high-5:

1. Just heard that LeBron to Chicago is "a done deal." Also, that LeBron is leaning toward joining D-Wade in Miami. And that LeBron is buying the Bobcats and will talk Michael into coming out of retirement. And that LeBron wants to play wide receiver for the Browns. And that LeBron is forming his own sports network, LeSpn. And that LeBron said he'd come to the Bulls only if Reinsdorf brings "that funny-looking Crumbs dude back." And that LeBron is so angry at the way the French soccer team behaved at the World Cup that he's changing his name to TheBron.

2. Elin is going to get $750M of Tiger's dough? Jeesh! That's three times as much as I had to pay Chicago in parking tickets last year!

3. I like the team Walt Jocketty built for Dusty Baker: fundamentally sound, nice power, a little speed, decent rotation, excellent blend of veterans and kids. Not sure if the Reds have quite enough in the bullpen to win the division this year, but it's not as if the NL Central is crammed full of great teams. Here's what I wrote Thursday for AP from the Cubs-Reds series opener: READ IT.

4. The only way the stock market can do any worse than it has lately is by losing a series to the Pirates.

5. Earlier this week, I got to play the Skokie Country Club, one of the true classics in the Chicago area. With its tricky, fast greens and grippy rough, it was a bear for us media-day hacks - and it will be quite a test from the tips for the Western Amateur field next month. A three-putt bogey on my final hole condemned me to a 100, a cruel ending to three straight days of mostly fun golf in three different states - Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois. Oy, am I a glutton for punishment ... one shank at a time.

Windy City Winners (Mostly)

^

Quite a weekend for Chicago's intrepid sports squads:

Puck Pluck (& Luck)

Try as they might to give away Game 5 (and quite likely the series), the Blackhawks weren't able to get the Predators to accept their generosity. All Preds star Martin Erat had to do was freeze the puck behind the Hawks net for a few more seconds. But he got greedy and made the mistake of the series - and his blind pass actually sent the Blackhawks on their way to the tying goal. At that point, it was a given that the Blackhawks would win in OT, and now it's a given that they'll win the series. Yes, the Hawks were fortunate. But unlike the Predators, they were willing and able to accept a gift - and they deserve credit for that.

Blessed Bears

Every, single player the Bears really wanted was available every time it was their turn to draft. It's an effen miracle!

Cubbie Clubbing

A Cubs team that just got finished losing five of six to the 'Stros and Mets went into Miller Park and outscored the Brewers 25-4. Which tells us all we need to know about Brewers pitching. And reminds us what we already knew about the Pirates.

So Close To Smallball

Ozzie can keep talking all he wants about the style he wants his Mighty Whities to play ... and we all can laugh our asses off. If they hit homers, they win ... as usual. If they don't, they lose ... period. Against the Mariners, they hit homers - dramatic, late homers. I know those aren't quite as exciting as sacrifice bunts, Oz, but you'll have to live with them.

A Cavalier Attitude

Be honest: You were surprised the Bulls won even one.

BONUS QUOTE

"Clearly, after this game, he's moved into first place as the best player to come out of Marquette." - Doc Rivers on Dwyane Wade.

Really? Rivers apparently forgot all about my killer moves in intramural action when we were at MU together in the early '80s!

From Lou's lament to Tiger's favorite number

^

Today's high-5:

5. Late in spring training, Lou Piniella asked us media mopes what we thought of the squad he'd be taking north. After a few guys answered with mostly encouraging words, Lou looked at me and I said: "We'll see what happens when the lights go on."

I chuckled as I finished my sentence, realizing I was paraphrasing something Lou had said just a few days earlier. Piniella didn't laugh with me, but he didn't seem even the slightest put-off by what I said. He merely nodded his head and moved on to the next writer's opinion.

Later on, a couple of my sportswriter buddies playfully gave me crap for being cynical, sarcastic and negative.

Then the lights went on ... and the Cubs started losing. Their hitters squeezed their bats into sawdust and their their young relief pitchers peed down their pantlegs.

Said Lou: "Remember what I said in spring training? 'Everything was fine when we were in afternoon, single-deck stadiums. Now all of a sudden, it gets a little different, and we'll have to see.' Well, we haven't see what we'd like to see, let's put it that way."

Jeesh. What a cynical, sarcastic, negative guy.

4. In the 11th inning the other night at The Cell, Hawk Harrelson was whining about a strike call White Sox reliever Tony Pena didn't get. The whining got louder after Pena promptly gave up J.J. Hardy's go-ahead hit.

In the bottom of that inning, Twins closer Jon Rauch threw what appeared to be a strike right down the middle to Mark Kotsay but it was called a ball. Rauch fanned Kotsay on the next pitch.

It's an athlete's job to control what he can. Rauch did. Pena didn't. Which is why, Hawk, the game soon was "ova."

3. The Bulls pulled off a big win at Toronto on Sunday, which means only one thing: There's still plenty of time for them to find other ways to humiliate themselves anew.

This team has suffered countless embarrassments on and off the court this year. None was as unique as Joakimgate - with Vinny Del Negro insisting he was under an edict to not play a rehabbing Joakim Noah more than 35 minutes Friday and Not-Quite-GM Gar Forman insisting the mandate had been modified. Vinny kept Noah on the bench and the Bulls managed to lose to the Nets for the second time this year.

I'm still trying to figure out why D-Wade and other marquee free agents would want to come to Chicago when they could get as much or more money playing for franchises that have a clue.

2. Cubbie fans shouldn't get too upset at Alfonso Soriano. I mean, only about 95 percent of beer-league softball players would have caught that ball he dropped in left field Sunday.

1. OK, so Tiger Woods didn't win the Masters. At least he scored another 69.