I would have paid to see Cavs owner grovel at The King's feet!

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Good for Cleveland.

And good for LeBron.

When we last saw King James on a decision-making day, he was the lead actor in "The Decision," the ridiculous, narcissistic 2010 ESPN show on which he announced he was taking his talents to South Beach.

On Friday, he couldn't have been classier, penning an article for SI.com in which he explained his emotional ties to Northeast Ohio and said the draw to return home was just too great for him to resist. He complimented the Heat organization, called Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade his "brothers" and came out looking so much bigger than Dan Gilbert.

You remember Gilbert, right? He's the ass-hat of a Cavs owner who four years ago posted an infamous and infantile rant on the team's Web site in which he questioned LeBron's courage and character. Laughingly, he also predicted that he would would win a championship in Cleveland before LeBron did for Miami.

That LeBron returned to Cleveland anyway - for less money than he would have gotten from the Heat - practically suggests he should change his moniker from King James to Saint James.

Gilbert supposedly threw himself on the mercy of King James' court a few days ago, begging forgiveness and apologizing relentlessly. It must have been quite a scene, Gilbert groveling at the feet of the man he ripped four years earlier.

Of course, Gilbert wasn't sincere. He had four years to remove that tripe from the Web site and to apologize like a man, but he left it up there until just a few days ago - when, much to his surprise, James started sending out signals that he would return to Cleveland despite Gilbert.

Almost as funny as Gilbert's pathetic pleas for forgiveness: the conspiracy theorists who think that this was all an NBA plant. Not only did the Cavs win some draft lotteries lately, they now also have LeBron.

Oh, absolutely. Forget having viable teams in New York, L.A., Chicago, Miami, Philly and Boston. The one thing the NBA desperately wants is a winner in Cleveland.

As for what's left of the Heat, reports started surfacing Friday afternoon that Bosh would spurn the Rockets to stay in Miami (for more money, of course) and that maybe Wade would stay with him (though the Bulls also want Wade, and why wouldn't they?). The East is so weak that a Bosh-Wade pairing, surrounded by decent role players, probably would win 45-50 games next season.

Bosh and Wade come out of this smelling like roses, too. Both were willing to wait for James to finalize his decision before they did anything, and both apparently were willing to take major pay cuts had LeBron opted to stay in Miami.

The focus now is on Carmelo Anthony. He supposedly favors going to Chicago because the Bulls are so much better than the Knicks, but he'd be leaving some $50 million on the table to do so.

Fifty-million bucks! I mean, we're talkin' Nadel Money there!!

Now, I never begrudge anybody for going for the money; just don't take the money and then try to claim it's all about winning. Because if it's all about winning, he'd go play with Joakim Noah and a healthy (?) Derrick Rose instead of with a bunch of stiffs in New York.

It's been a fun week of speculation, and with Carmelo still a free agent it isn't done yet.

I genuinely am happy for my friends in Cleveland, who deserve to watch the greatest player in the world again. I only wish Dan Gilbert wouldn't be a major beneficiary, as well, because he deserves nothing but scorn.
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Today's High 5: Back to witness Linsanity

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5. SUNNING IS MORE FUN THAN BLOGGING

OK, I now can fess up: I hadn't been posting because Roberta and I were in Cancun, where we met our kids (who had flown down from Chicago). I don't like to advertise vacations before I'm taking them or while I'm on them -- better to keep would-be house-robbers in the dark!

Weather-wise, our trip was spectacular: low 80s and sunny every day. And it was so much fun to spend a week with Katie and Ben, whom we hadn't seen since October. Hopefully, it won't be so long next time.

We mostly enjoyed the weather, the beach, the pool and each other, but we did spend one day exploring the ruins of Chichen Itza and swimming in a "cenote" (kind of a watering hole/cave combination. Lots of good food and plenty of games of Scrabble, Boggle, cribbage, Catchphrase and Who-What-Where, too.

If I said posting at The Baldest Truth was what I missed most while I was gone, I'd be fibbing. When we picked our puppy Simcha up from the sitter last night, she acted as if we'd been gone a year. It's always great to be loved so unconditionally!

4. NEW KNICK SURE HAS KNACK

How 'bout that kid who is lifting the Knicks to greatness?

Of course, I'm talking about former Marquette star Steve Novak!

Like everybody else, I've been floored by all that Jeremy Lin has accomplished in his short stint as an NBA starter. I keep waiting for him to hit a wall; instead, he keeps knocking every wall down.

He certainly is the best sports story so far in 2012, and he already is on the short list of legitimate NBA MVP candidates.

Pretty amazing for a twice-cut kid from Harvard who couldn't get on the court for the Knicks until half the team was injured.

Whether in sports or in real life, sometimes all a person needs is opportunity.

3. MARCH TOWARD MARCH

My favorite thing about the opening of spring training is that it means one of my favorite sports months is only days away.

March Madness ... spring training ... NBA and NHL entering the stretch run ... and no NFL draft. What's not to love?

2. TEBOW OR NOT TEBOW?

Because both are young athletes with extremely strong religious beliefs who have energized downtrodden teams, Lin quite often has been compared to Tim Tebow.

How unfair.

To Lin.

Lin hasn't been awful for the first 90 percent of every game he has played. Game in and game out, opening tip to final horn, Lin has been the catalyst for a Knicks team that had been completely rudderless.

Contrast that to Tebow, who benefited from a fine Broncos defense that kept games close while he made mistake after mistake. Trying to protect late leads, opposing coaches then changed what they were doing and practically gave Tebow engraved invitations to rally the Broncos. To his credit, he accepted those invitations and succeeded.

As winter fades to spring and the Knicks try to make this season a special one, it will be interesting to see how opposing coaches adjust to Lin. It will be even more interesting to see how the Knicks adjust when Carmelo Anthony -- who is used to having the ball in his hands about 99.9 percent of the time -- returns to the lineup.

Tebow failed miserably the last few weeks of the season and the Broncos only backed into the playoffs because their division rivals were even worse.

How will Lin do in April and May? That's the question I want to see answered.

1. WHY SHOULD KATE UPTON HAVE ALL THE FUN?

That right ... if you look at that picture of me and Roberta carefully, you'll see that we obviously were airbrushed.

And just when you thought we couldn't possibly get any sexier!

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