Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Gobble! Gobble! Time for the 2021 Turkey of the Year

 ^

After 2020 finally, mercifully ended, did you think 2021 would be a breeze? Welp ... sorry about that. This year has kinda sucked, too. But at least we always have sports to distract us from all of life's troubles, right?

Think again! The 2021 sports landscape has featured lots of great moments, to be sure, but it also has given us a close-up look at all kinds of losers, scoundrels, incompetents, liars, conspiracy theorists and dolts.

Then again, I've been choosing the Turkey of the Year since 1998, and there's rarely been a shortage of these less-than-desirables. Here's a look back at my selections throughout the years ...

  • 2020 -- Donald F. Trump
  • 2019 -- Antonio Brown
  • 2018 -- J.R. Smith
  • 2017 -- Kyle Shanahan
  • 2016 -- Pat McCrory
  • 2015 -- Derrick Rose
  • 2014 -- Roger Goodell and Ray Rice
  • 2013 -- Alex Rodriguez
  • 2012 -- U.S. Ryder Cup Team
  • 2011 -- Joe Paterno (and his Penn State enablers)
  • 2010 -- Mark McGwire
  • 2009 -- Milton Bradley
  • 2008 -- Choking Cubbies
  • 2007 -- Charlie Weis
  • 2006 -- Aramis Ramirez
  • 2005 -- Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker
  • 2004 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2003 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2002 -- Dick Jauron
  • 2001 -- David Wells and Frank Thomas
  • 2000 -- Bobby Knight
  • 1999 -- Jerry Krause
  • 1998 -- Mike McCaskey

You might have noticed that up until 2010, each of those turkeys did his gobblin' in Chicago and/or the Midwest because that's where I was based. The "award" actually got its start under my Copley Newspapers predecessor and friend, the late Gene Seymour. Since moving to North Carolina, I've expanded my Turkey-choosing horizons. Still, as always, I dedicate this to Gene's memory.

+++

Without further ado, here's the 2021 Turkey of the Year countdown ...

13. WILL CRAIG. Will Who? Exactly! Back in May, as the first baseman of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Craig made arguably the worst play by an infielder in the history of professional baseball. Yep .. THE ... WORST ... EVER. His very apt quote afterward: "I kinda lost my mind." 



12. URBAN MEYER. If a new NFL coach wants to make a good first impression on his players, most of whom are Black, one way NOT to do it is by hiring a racist as strength coach. But that's exactly what Meyer did after becoming the Jaguars' head coach. When confronted, he at first got defensive. But he soon realized he had to fire the guy he just hired. Oh ... and his Jaguars suck, too.

11. NCAA HONCHOS. They had years to get in front of the movement to let athletes be compensated for the use of their names, images and likenesses (aka NIL), but instead the suits tried to fight it. Numerous states passed their own rules, and by the time the NCAA caved in, there was no mechanism in place to make things reasonably equitable. As usual, if it involves NCAA decision-makers, it's a mess. But I'm still glad college athletes have the same rights that their fellow college students do.

10. CURT SCHILLING. He used to be a great pitcher, so great that he very well might be inducted into the Hall of Fame. But he's also a hate-filled, homophobic, Islamophobic, conspiracy-theory-spewing, far-right-wingnut. (One of his bigoted tweets, comparing Muslims to Nazis, follows this paragraph.) He actually demanded to be taken off the ballot in this, his final year of eligibility for the Hall ... but the Hall correctly said "nope, you're staying on the ballot" ... and he has a good chance of getting in after falling only 16 votes short last time. Disclosure: I have voted for him in the past, and I'd vote for him again if I still had a ballot. It's not as if he'd be the only dirtbag in the Hall.

9. MATT NAGY. This just in: There are reports that the Bears will fire their inept coach after the team's Thanksgiving game against Detroit. Of course, there's little doubt that Nagy should be fired, as he has mishandled the team for most of his time in Chicago. Then again, if GM Ryan Pace isn't canned, too, will it really matter?

8. KLETE KELLER. The U.S. Olympic swimmer pleaded guilty on Oct. 13 to felony obstruction for taking part in the Jan. 6 coup attempt at the Capitol. His involvement in the insurrection wasn't exactly stealthy -- he wore his Olympic jacket while recording himself screaming expletives about Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. So he's not only a seditionist and a convicted felon, he's also a dope. U.S.A! Hang Mike Pence! U.S.A.! Hang Mike Pence!

7. ROBBY ANDERSON. After signing a big-money contract extension during the offseason, the Panthers wide receiver has gone on to lead the NFL in dropped passes. As if that's not enough for Turkey-dom, he also has lashed out on two separate occasions at teammates and coaches. Much easier to get angry at others than to hold himself accountable, I guess.


6. MEL TUCKER.
The Michigan State football coach had a nice win against Michigan. So nice that MSU boosters apparently want to make him the second-highest-paid coach in college football history -- 10 years, $95 million -- despite his 16-14 career record. Unfortunately, word of the big contract leaked just before the Spartans' game against Ohio State ... and then the Spartans were down 49-0 faster than you could say, "Waste of effen money." I wonder how much of that contract Ohio State boosters are willing to pay to keep Tucker coaching in the Big Ten.

5. TREVOR BAUER. The Dodgers spent more than $100 million to sign a pitcher they thought would help them win another World Series. But only a few months into the quirky right-hander's stay in L.A., he was accused of sexual assault ... and he didn't pitch in a game after June 28. I don't really have anything clever to say here because sexual assault isn't funny. 

4. BEN SIMMONS. The 76ers' $170 million point guard has become a total head case. He has talent and size ... but he hasn't improved as a shooter in the 6 years he's been a pro. And he's such a disaster at the free-throw line that he doesn't even want to create contact. The ultimate bizarro scenario came in Game 7 of the Sixers' playoff loss to Atlanta on June 20, when Simmons passed up an open dunk to give the ball to a well-defended teammate. (See video below.) He wants to be traded and the Sixers would love to deal him, but who wants to give up multiple draft picks and tens of millions of dollars for a guard who won't -- and can't -- shoot?


3. KYRIE IRVING, AMARI COOPER, ANTONIO BROWN and VARIOUS OTHER ANTI-VAXXERS. Each has some different story, some different excuse, some different scam. But all of them have hurt or are hurting their teammates, coaches, communities and fans. Is there any doubt why we can't get past COVID-19 when selfish and/or misinformed turkeys won't do their part?

2. NICK ROLOVICH. Washington State fired its head coach after he refused to get vaccinated -- which is required of all state employees. (He also happened to be the state's highest-paid employee.) Rolovich is fighting his termination in court, saying he should have been granted a religious exemption. One problem with that defense: He's Catholic; there's nothing in the Catholic faith that prevents people from getting vaccinated; and Pope Francis himself is advocating for the vaccine. So Rolovich is a liar as well as a science-denier ... and his career record (33-33) indicates he's not much of a coach, either.

And now ... The 2021 Turkey of the Year ...

AARON RODGERS


While we're on a roll talking about all these me-first, ignorant, anti-vaxx dopes, let's bestow the highest "honor" on the the most famous (infamous?) of them all.

Back in training camp, the Green Bay QB -- and 2020 NFL MVP -- assured everybody that he was "immunized." 

But it was all a lie ... which we learned when Rodgers tested positive for COVID-19 and had to miss a game, which the Packers lost. 

Through it all, he doubled-down and tripled-down; he claimed that being "immunized" (with what, he hasn't said) was better than being "vaccinated"; and he threw his lot in with anti-vaxx conspiracy theorist Joe Rogan and that ilk.

This is the Packers' "leader." For all of his talent and regular-season success, no wonder they haven't even sniffed a Super Bowl in a decade. 

The vaccine flap was all part of a bizarre 2021 for Rodgers that began with yet another playoff loss and then months of speculation about whether he had demanded a trade, whether the Packers would deal him, whether he'd be gone after this season, and on and on and on. 

It was a stupid soap opera ... only to be made more stupid by his refusal to accept a proven, life-saving vaccine that could have protected him, his teammates, his family and everybody else he comes into contact with.

Gobble, gobble, you Turkey!

^