It's Turkey Time!

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This kind of snuck up on me this year. I was sitting down, thinking about all I have to be thankful for, and -- wham! -- "Uh-oh, I forgot to choose my Turkey of the Year."

So I'm going to dispense with the long introduction and get right down to the countdown, which will lead to the latest in this parade of  lunkheads, losers, scammers, slimeballs, chokers, cheaters, bullies, boors, pouters and pitiable punching bags:

Mike McCaskey (1998); Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron (2002);Sammy Sosa (2003); Sammy Sosa (2004, the only repeat winner); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley(2009); Mark McGwire (2010); Joe Paterno & Penn State Enablers (2011); U.S. Ryder Cup Team (2012).

As always, this is dedicated to the late, great Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor and good friend.

10. DOLPHINS OFFENSIVE LINE. You know the old saying: The only time you hear the name of an offensive lineman is when he commits a holding penalty. Or when he leaves voicemails for a fellow lineman filled with vulgarity, profanity and racist taunts. What a mess. It's tough to stay, um, Icognito with this stuff going on.

9. TIM TEBOW. By all accounts, he's a great guy and a noble human being. But being a turkey isn't only about being a wretched human being. Sometimes, it's just about being a wretched quarterback. (And yet he still won one more playoff game as Denver's QB than Peyton Manning and Jay Cutler combined!)

8. GATEHOUSE GANGSTERS. Hey investors! Shares of stock in my former employer can be had for 3 cents apiece! Warning: After systematically gutting the editorial staff over five-plus years and emerging from bankruptcy just this week, it's high time for the pencil-necked weasels who run GateHouse Media to give themselves yet another round of raises and bonuses. Capitalism at its finest!

7. TIGER WOODS. He was golfer of the year and deservedly so. How, then, does he end up on this list? Four more majors by the board, four more also-ran finishes, five years without the only titles he considers truly relevant. As for that two-stroke penalty he had to take for his illegal drop in the Masters, well ... gobble, gobble!

6. DENNIS RODMAN. After befriending Kim Jong Un, Wormy McDiplomat's next project is Charles Manson. "Dude's just a little misunderstood, man."

5. ROB FORD. OK, he's not an athlete, but he is the mayor of a great North American sports town, Toronto, so I'm winging it. Hey, I never thought any politician could top the 2012 GOP presidential circus acts for pure comic relief, but this crack-smoking, drunken-stuporizing, foul-mouthed, real-life Chris Farley character takes the cake. And falls face-first in the frosting on a regular basis.

4. MANTI TE'O. The Notre Dame linebacker enthralled the national media with his heartbreaking story about his longtime girlfriend, who supposedly suffered a tragic death. Problem is, his dearly departed squeeze was no more real than Jan Brady's George Glass. Meanwhile, Alabama showed that Notre Dame's title hopes were an illusion, too.

3. RYAN BRAUN. The Brewers slugger had everything -- fame, talent, money and a legion of loyal fans. But that wasn't enough, so he juiced and made things worse by lying about it. Now, nothing he ever does on the ballfield can be taken seriously. 

2. RILEY COOPER. Eagles wide receiver and infamous cracker threatened to "fight every n----- here" at a Kenny Chesney concert. My immediate reaction: Black people go to Kenny Chesney concerts?

AND NOW ... THE BALDEST TRUTH'S 2013 TURKEY OF THE YEAR:

ALEX RODRIGUEZ

Cheater. Liar. Druggie. Professional Victim. And now he's little more than a pathetic, broken-down lowlife. Yes, the 2012 runner-up was an easy choice as this year's top turkey. 

These days, A-Roid is the poorest multimillionaire on the planet. His wife divorced him. Most of his "friends," no doubt, are the people he pays to stay close to him. Even Yankee fans, not a particularly discerning lot, must have to take long, hot showers after rooting for this miscreant. (I'm talking about the few fans who don't come to the ballpark to boo him.)

There was a time when it seemed possible that he could be the greatest ballplayer ever. Now? As the old-timers would say:

He's just another bum.
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Nobody is easier to hate than A-Roid

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First Down

Alex Rodriguez says the last year has been a "nightmare." Poor, poor, pitiful him. I mean, could there be a less-sympathetic figure in sports than A-Roid?

Barry Bonds and Pete Rose look freakin' noble compared to this guy.

I'd rather root for Mike Tyson or Bill Belichick.

Why should anybody believe A-Rod didn't juice when he was a young player in Seattle? Because he says so? That's a good one! If he handed me a quarter, I'd assume it was counterfeit.

Second Down

I am seriously pissed at Time Warner Cable for denying me Showtime -- and the last few episodes of Dexter.

We'll all have the last laugh when cable companies are completely unnecessary, a time that is coming sooner than TWC and its brethren think.

Third Down

In his most recent "Real Time," Bill Maher used his main "New Rule" to rip the North Carolina GOP for its unapologetic, mean-spirited return of the state to the 1950s -- when blacks, Latinos and women knew their place (and knew it wasn't North Carolina).

And to think, I hated Chicago politics.

Fourth Down

Went into my local Costco the other day and they had a table with large, framed, autographed photos of NFL stars. The guy featured most prominently:

Tim Tebow.

In a Jets uniform.

No punchline. None necessary.
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Bears finally sack Lovie The Genius

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Here's my favorite story from my five years covering Lovie Smith:

During the postgame press conference that followed a particularly horrific performance by the often-horrible Rex Grossman, the media found four different ways to ask Smith why he didn't switch to Brian Griese, the high-priced QB the Bears had acquired just in case Rex got hurt or got bad.

Four times, Lovie dismissed the questions: Rex was his quarterback; the Bears were 10-2; we were morons.

This is what happened next, as chronicled in my Dec. 7, 2006 column:

My brain was about ready to explode. Because I need my brain to think about food, Jack Bauer's plight on "24," golf, Scarlett Johansson and other worthwhile subjects, I could sit silently no longer.

Me: "You did win 10 games with (Kyle) Orton as your quarterback last year and made a change. So, I mean, it's not unprecedented ... "

Lovie, interrupting: "This year ... "

Me, interrupting right back: "I understand that. I understand. It's not an unprecedented thought, that's all. We're not coming out of thin air with this thought."

Lovie: "That doesn't mean a lot to me, though. I'm telling you what I'm going to do. Right now, we're 10-2 with Rex as our quarterback. THAT's not unprecedented."

So there!

He might as well have come back with: "Your momma's not unprecedented!" That would have made as much sense.

Too funny, eh?

I rarely had public debates with those I covered, but that day, I simply couldn't take Lovie's crapola any more.

Tom Landry and Chuck Noll and Bill Parcells and John Madden and countless other championship coaches throughout the years had benched ineffective quarterbacks.

Don Shula benched Earl Morrall at halftime of the 1972 AFC title game -- even though the score was tied and even though Morrall had led the Dolphins to 11 straight wins in place of an injured Bob Griese during the team's perfect season.

Nevertheless, Lovie had so little respect for the media -- not to mention the millions of fans who were clamoring for a QB change -- that he considered us idiots for suggesting Lovie The Genius even consider removing Rex The Unbenchable during a bad performance.

Well, Lovie is now the ex-coach of the Bears.

His dwindling ranks of supporters say he didn't deserve to be canned because the team had played mostly decent football during his time in Chicago and because he led the Bears to only their second Super Bowl appearance ever -- a game they lost to the Colts partly because of the frighteningly bad play of Rex The Unbenchable.

The facts, however, sealed Lovie's fate.

Smith's team reached the playoffs only three times in nine seasons -- and only once in the past six years. Since losing to the Colts in the '07 Super Bowl, Lovie's lads won one division title while finishing third three times and last once.

Lovie always said beating the Packers was No. 1 on the list of things the Bears had to do. Since Jan. 2, 2011, the Bears were 0-6 against the Packers, including a loss in last year's playoffs.

The Bears opened this season 7-1 but folded as soon as the schedule turned tough, dropping five of their next six games. What seemed a sure playoff berth was gone, and even wins in their last two games couldn't save Smith's Bears ... or Smith's job.

Like Rex in the Super Bowl, Lovie couldn't deliver.

Unlike Rex in the Super Bowl, Lovie got benched.

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There will be much debate about which players deserve which awards in the NFL, but one thing is obvious:

John Elway is the Executive of the Year.

Despite immense public pressure to build around the inexplicably popular Tim Tebow, Elway traded the most overhyped player in recent NFL history to the Jets and brought in Peyton Manning.

Manning threw for 37 TDs and the Broncos ended up with the NFL's best record at 13-3. Tebow couldn't even get on the field for the Jets.

Elway, one of the 10 best QBs ever to lace up cleats, knows Manning belongs on that list, too. Elway also knows Tebow is a train wreck of a quarterback, with neither the physical ability nor mental acumen to play the most important position at the highest level.

Meanwhile, were there an award for Incompetent Executive of the Year, it would go to the Jets brain trust of owner Woody Johnson and GM Mike Tannenbaum.

After signing overrated Mark Sanchez to a contract extension, they wasted a fourth-round draft pick to bring the distracting Tebow Circus to New York. Sanchez fell apart, Jets coach Rex Ryan realized in training camp that Tebow couldn't play and never used him during the season, and what was supposed to be a contending team finished 6-10.

Tannenbaum was fired Monday, in part because the owner couldn't fire himself.
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Stuff yourself silly with the 2012 Turkeys of the Year

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It's that time of the year, when thoughts turn to the turkey on our plates and the Turkeys who inhabit the sportosphere.

My tradition of choosing a Turkey of the Year goes back to my first year as Copley Newspapers' Chicago columnist, 1998, when Bears president Michael McCaskey was so inept that his mommy fired him.

Since then, it's been a parade of clowns, cads, chokers and chumps: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron (2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009); Mark McGwire (2010); Joe Paterno & Penn State Enablers (2011).

(You'll notice that from 1998-2009, most Turkeys of the Year had Chicago and/or Midwest connections because of where I lived and columnized. Now in my second full year as a Southern boy, the Turkey Countdown has a different flavor.)

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor, the founder of Copley's sports turkey awards and one of the great guys journalism has ever known.

10. RYAN KALIL: The Panthers center took out a full-page newspaper ad before the season promising Carolina fans that the team would win the Super Bowl. By the time the Panthers reached their bye week, they were 1-4 and Kalil was done for the season with a foot injury. Great. Now nobody will take out full-page newspaper ads. As if the business isn't in bad enough shape.

9. JEFFREY LORIA: The Marlins owner got taxpayers to foot the bill for a new ballpark and then filled it with expensive players ... for about half a season. When the team stunk, he dumped just about every player who made more than 12 cents and fired Ozzie Guillen for being what Ozzie Guillen always has been. And hey, even Loria's ballpark is ugly.

8. LANCE ARMSTRONG: Yeah ... I know ... it's only really a headline if a cyclist doesn't dope. Still ... this was Lance Freakin' Armstrong, all-American hero, who spent most of a decade cheating and lying.

7. BOBBY VALENTINE: The biggest Boston disaster since Cheers went off the air.

6. NHL OWNERS, PLAYERS & COMMISH GARY BETTMAN: Working together marvelously to keep hockey an irrelevant, niche sport.
 

5. REX RYAN: The Jets had just signed Mark Sanchez to a huge, long-term deal when Ryan traded for Tim Tebow -- ensuring that ever-patient New York fans would be calling for Tebow to play every time Sanchez threw an incomplete pass. Even Jets players know Tebow is terrible, but why should that stop fans from praying for a Tebow miracle?

4. MELKY CABRERA: He was All-Star Game MVP for the winning NL team, thereby giving his Giants homefield advantage in the World Series. Cabrera wasn't there to see the Series, though, having been suspended for juicing. The cool thing is that the Giants won without him. I wonder if he'll get a championship ring?

3. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS FANS: By cheering when QB Matt Cassel got hurt, these yahoos proved that they belong in a second-rate sports town. 

2. ALEX RODRIGUEZ: Followed a bad season with an almost surreal postseason. The richest man in baseball history was benched for three playoff games and pinch-hit for six times. The good news for A-Dud is that the $114 million left on his Yankees contract can buy lots of HGH and plenty of masking agents.

And now, the 2012 Turkeys of the Year:

U.S. RYDER CUP TEAM

There are chokes, there are Cubbie chokes and then there was this, arguably the most complete choke-job in the history of professional sports.

The chokiest of chokers was Jim Furyk. His collapse in his pivotal match capped a year in which he also frittered away the U.S. Open and two PGA Tour events.

This result hardly could be pinned on Furyk alone, however. Tiger Woods didn't record a single point in the entire event. Neither did Steve Stricker, who was joined by Furyk, Bubba Watson, Keegan Bradley and Phil Mickelson on the list of Americans who wet themselves down the stretch.

Holy Heimlich, Batman ... talk about a total team effort.
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Today's High 5: Frisco is Ex-Cubbie heaven!

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5. Mike Fontenot and Mark DeRosa won World Series rings with the 2010 San Francisco Giants. Two years later, Ryan Theriot opened the 10th inning with a single and scored the championship-winning run.

If I'm Starlin Castro, Darwin Barney or any other Cubbie infielder, I want to be traded to the Giants pronto!

4. Jets players and coaches were ticked off that the home crowd was chanting for Tim Tebow to replace godawful Mark Sanchez during Sunday's lopsided loss to the Dolphins.

This is the price any team -- especially a New York team -- pays for acquiring the most popular backup quarterback in recent football history.

Never mind that Tebow has trouble completing routine passes. The circus is just beginning.

3. Three cheers for my Carolina Panthers, the best darn 1-6 team in football!

2. CEOs from more than 80 major U.S. corporations endorse raising taxes and reducing spending as part of a balanced deficit-reduction plan. In other words, they support the Simpson-Bowles commission's recommendation. (And psssst ... they ain't liberals!)

That support sets them apart from Barack Obama, who appointed the commission and then promptly rejected its findings. And it also sets them apart from Mitt Romney, who instead favors cutting taxes by trillions of dollars without detailing how our debt-crushed nation will pay for those cuts.

Is it too late to get a candidate do-over?

1. Just saw this headline: "Hurricane Sandy wreaks havoc on presidential race."

As somebody with two brothers living in Philly and lots of friends and relatives residing in the D.C.-to-Boston corridor, the absolute least of my concerns is how the storm will affect the campaign schedules of Obama and Romney.
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Manning or Tebow? You're kidding, right?

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There are Broncos fans who actually are ticked off that the team is bringing in a first-ballot Hall of Fame quarterback. Why? Because it means the end of the Tim Tebow Era before it ever really began.

How insane is that? If Peyton Manning is as healthy as he appeared to be in numerous workouts for numerous teams, this is the no-brainer to end all no-brainers.

Manning simply is one of the 10 best quarterbacks ever. He has plenty left in the tank, he will be ultra-motivated after having to sit out last year and he instantly will give the Broncos a chance to win big.

Now contrast that to Tebow, who is not an NFL quarterback and never will be.

Duh.

The best landing spot for Timmy Terrific would be Jacksonville, where the Jaguars are having trouble selling tickets and where local hero Tebow would be a public-relations dream.

Until he has to start throwing passes, anyway.

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Today's High 5: Back to witness Linsanity

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5. SUNNING IS MORE FUN THAN BLOGGING

OK, I now can fess up: I hadn't been posting because Roberta and I were in Cancun, where we met our kids (who had flown down from Chicago). I don't like to advertise vacations before I'm taking them or while I'm on them -- better to keep would-be house-robbers in the dark!

Weather-wise, our trip was spectacular: low 80s and sunny every day. And it was so much fun to spend a week with Katie and Ben, whom we hadn't seen since October. Hopefully, it won't be so long next time.

We mostly enjoyed the weather, the beach, the pool and each other, but we did spend one day exploring the ruins of Chichen Itza and swimming in a "cenote" (kind of a watering hole/cave combination. Lots of good food and plenty of games of Scrabble, Boggle, cribbage, Catchphrase and Who-What-Where, too.

If I said posting at The Baldest Truth was what I missed most while I was gone, I'd be fibbing. When we picked our puppy Simcha up from the sitter last night, she acted as if we'd been gone a year. It's always great to be loved so unconditionally!

4. NEW KNICK SURE HAS KNACK

How 'bout that kid who is lifting the Knicks to greatness?

Of course, I'm talking about former Marquette star Steve Novak!

Like everybody else, I've been floored by all that Jeremy Lin has accomplished in his short stint as an NBA starter. I keep waiting for him to hit a wall; instead, he keeps knocking every wall down.

He certainly is the best sports story so far in 2012, and he already is on the short list of legitimate NBA MVP candidates.

Pretty amazing for a twice-cut kid from Harvard who couldn't get on the court for the Knicks until half the team was injured.

Whether in sports or in real life, sometimes all a person needs is opportunity.

3. MARCH TOWARD MARCH

My favorite thing about the opening of spring training is that it means one of my favorite sports months is only days away.

March Madness ... spring training ... NBA and NHL entering the stretch run ... and no NFL draft. What's not to love?

2. TEBOW OR NOT TEBOW?

Because both are young athletes with extremely strong religious beliefs who have energized downtrodden teams, Lin quite often has been compared to Tim Tebow.

How unfair.

To Lin.

Lin hasn't been awful for the first 90 percent of every game he has played. Game in and game out, opening tip to final horn, Lin has been the catalyst for a Knicks team that had been completely rudderless.

Contrast that to Tebow, who benefited from a fine Broncos defense that kept games close while he made mistake after mistake. Trying to protect late leads, opposing coaches then changed what they were doing and practically gave Tebow engraved invitations to rally the Broncos. To his credit, he accepted those invitations and succeeded.

As winter fades to spring and the Knicks try to make this season a special one, it will be interesting to see how opposing coaches adjust to Lin. It will be even more interesting to see how the Knicks adjust when Carmelo Anthony -- who is used to having the ball in his hands about 99.9 percent of the time -- returns to the lineup.

Tebow failed miserably the last few weeks of the season and the Broncos only backed into the playoffs because their division rivals were even worse.

How will Lin do in April and May? That's the question I want to see answered.

1. WHY SHOULD KATE UPTON HAVE ALL THE FUN?

That right ... if you look at that picture of me and Roberta carefully, you'll see that we obviously were airbrushed.

And just when you thought we couldn't possibly get any sexier!

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Today's High 5: Brady beats Tebow ... the Devil made him do it!

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5. Remember how Tim Tebow passed for 316 yards (and averaged 31.6 yards per completion) in last week's upset of the Steelers, and his fellow ultra-believers quickly pointed out the religious significance of that total? You know, John 3:16 and all.

What a divine coincidence!

Well good news, kids: There were fun coincidences involving the performance of Tebow and his Broncos this weekend, too!

For example, Tebow passed for 136 yards. John 1:36 says: "And he looked at Jesus as He walked, and said, 'Behold, the Lamb of God!" That's all well and good, but there's a reason no sports teams are called the Lambs.

Denver lost 45-10 to the Patriots in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the final score indicated. That 35-point spread? Well, 3 + 5 = 8, and that's how many wives the Old Testament says David had. (Not sure what that has to do with football, but it's at least as meaningful a coincidence as the whole John 3:16 deal.)

Tom Brady had 6 touchdown passes. Touchdowns are worth 6 points. The lack of a Denver pass rush gave Brady 6 seconds in the pocket each time he went back to pass. 6-6-6! Obviously, Brady is the Devil's pawn!

I could go on, but that's enough biblical "coincidences" for one day, don't ya think?

4. This year's Giants remind me of last year's Packers. Good team getting better just when it matters most.

This year's Packers, meanwhile, remind me of, well, every other team that's been crowned far too early.

And to think, if the NFL ran things the way the NCAA does, the Packers would have been granted an automatic spot in the Super Bowl.

3. The Giants won despite getting royally hosed by the referee, who ignored overwhelming video evidence and refused to overturn a horrible no-fumble call.

Had that call been made correctly, the game probably would have been a rout.

2. It's only mid-January, but I'll be surprised if there is a more entertaining sporting event all year than the 49ers-Saints game.

1. I like Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, but they lost me when they wondered out loud if the two-week layoff had made Aaron Rodgers and the Packers rusty.

Please.

The Patriots, 49ers and Ravens also had two-week layoffs. They somehow managed to shake off the rust.

The Giants had something to do with Rodgers having a bad game. The fact that Green Bay receivers played as if they had anvils attached to their hands had something to do with Rodgers' poor performance, too.

Bottom line: The Giants outplayed the Packers in every phase. Give them credit. Don't give the Packers excuses.

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Preparing for lots of time in my La-Z-Boy

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Gotta go meet some friends and realized I haven't yet prognosticated this fun NFL weekend, so here's a quickie:

Saints at 49ers: I know the Saints never win on the road in the playoffs, but I just can't shake the feeling that it's gonna come down to which QB executes the best in the fourth quarter. And I'm taking Drew Brees over Alex Smith. Saints 27, Niners 20.

Broncos at Patriots: The Pats don't play defense very well, so here's another chance for You Know Who to prove himself again. If it becomes a shootout, though, gotta go with the other You Know Who -- the one with the supermodel wife and the three Super Bowl rings. Patriots 35, Broncos 19.

Texans at Ravens: I'm trying to figure out a way to pick a huge upset. And I can't do it. Ravens 34, Texans 13.

Giants at Packers: This has stunner written all over it. The Giants are playing very well on both sides of the ball -- maybe they are this year's version of last year's Packers? Meanwhile, the Packers have just been chillin' for weeks. I'm putting lots of faith in Aaron Rodgers and the home-field advantage. Packers 24, Giants 22.

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Tebow to me (and millions of others): In your face!

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Just as I predicted, there would be no stopping Tim Tebow!

Hey, give the dude credit. After a bad first quarter for him and the Broncos, he played the best long stretch of his short NFL career. Despite his many flaws, Tebow showed why playoffs are great in every sport (except Division I college football, where there aren't any):

Anything can and will happen.

Including my first couple of prognosticating screwups of 2012.

Another point hammered home: It's tough to win on the road in the NFL. All four home teams won ... and I was foolish enough to pick two road winners.

At least the Steelers made it close. The Falcons looked inept against the suddenly rolling G-Men. My buddy Mitch, a Giants fan since Lawrence Taylor was smoking crack from a high chair, is awfully giddy today!

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NFL playoff predictions: Steel Curtain will be doing lots of Tebowing

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Can anybody beat the Packers in Green Bay? Of course. Even though a home playoff loss for the Pack would be surprising, it certainly wouldn't be unprecedented.

Just nine years ago, Atlanta -- a warm-weather, domed-stadium team -- went up to Green Bay and routed the Packers, who had gone 8-0 at home during the regular season.

So it would be silly to say a really good team like the Saints couldn't repeat such a feat this year.

But hey, I'm not quite ready to go there yet. Let's get Week 1 of the playoffs out of the way first ...

BENGALS at TEXANS

Gotta give credit to the Texans, who have had to use four QBs this season and who were missing their stud receiver for a good chunk of the campaign. Take THAT, all those (ahem, Bears) who love to use injuries as an excuse. Such sticktoitiveness deserves a nod in my predictions. Texans 20, Bengals 15.

LIONS at SAINTS

The Lions are fun to watch. They're a cool story, too, overcoming their recent history of utter ineptitude to put together a nice season. The Saints are even more fun to watch, however. They're also at home, where they hardly ever lose. Saints 37, Lions 21.

FALCONS at GIANTS

It's hard to figure the Giants, who can look very good or very bad -- often in the same quarter of the same game. The Falcons also had a season full of fits and starts, so this is a toughie to predict. One would think being at home would be a huge edge for the Giants, but Atlanta's road record (4-4) is the same as the Giants' home record. Let's pick a mild upset, then: Falcons 23, Giants 17.

STEELERS at BRONCOS

One of the quirks of NFL playoff scheduling is that a 12-4 team is forced to go on the road to face an 8-8 team that backed into the playoffs (because the 8-8 team won its division). A similar thing happened in the NFC last year, and the Seahawks stunned the Saints. Well, no such thing will happen this time. The Steelers won't lose a playoff game to the worst QB still standing. Steelers 27, Broncos 9.

Rating QBs ... from Tebow to Rodgers to Romo to Hanie

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Nobody says "The check's in the mail" any more. For one thing, nobody under the age of 80 writes checks. And pretty much nobody mails anything other than junk.

Another saying that should go into permanent hiatus: "The quarterback gets too much credit when you win and too much blame when you lose."

QB is the single most important position in team sports. (You might say hockey goalie, but let's stick to sports that people actually watch.) A team with a great quarterback has a chance to excel and a team that lacks even a good quarterback has little chance at all. Of course, there have been a few exceptions over the years in the NFL. Very few.

The QB handles the football on every play, makes dozens upon dozens of critical in-game decisions and must execute every play properly -- be it a handoff, pitch or pass -- for an offense to function. When a close game comes down to crunch time, the ability and demeanor of the quarterback usually is the one deciding factor.

Fact is, the QB never can get too much credit or blame.

I still don't think Tim Tebow can be a winning QB in the NFL over time, but he deserves credit for the Broncos' surprising success during the eight-week stretch that put them in position to back into the playoffs. And Tebow deserves at least as much blame for the team's complete collapse during the final three weeks.

If he and his passionate-bordering-on-bonkers fans don't think such scrutiny is fair, Tebow should become a linebacker or tight end.

Which, by the way, would be better positions for him.

But enough about Tim Tebow for today. There are plenty of other QBs to talk about now that the regular season has ended:

TOM BRADY: It's hard to imagine choosing another quarterback if you have to win one game.

DREW BREES: Unless it's this guy, who is almost impossibly accurate. He and the Saints are too much fun to watch.

AARON RODGERS: Then again, maybe it's this guy, the shoo-in for league MVP. If there's a Mount Rushmore of today's ridiculously good quarterbacks, Rodgers, Brees and Brady are the equivalent of Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln.

PEYTON MANNING: The perfect example of the importance of having a great QB. But he isn't healthy, so right now Teddy Roosevelt would have to be ...

BEN ROETHLISBERGER: I'm fairly sure he's a jerk, and he rarely looks pretty on the field. But he has won two Super Bowls and he's got a decent chance for a third. He plays tough, he plays hurt and he usually plays really well.

ELI MANNING: Were I a Giants fan, I'd love to hate this guy. For big chunks of every game, he plays ugly. But he absolutely carried the team this year and he has a knack for pulling games out at the end. In that way, he's similar to Tebow. Except Eli's actually a QB.

MARK SANCHEZ: By far, New Jersey's worst pro QB.

CAM NEWTON: A young Steve Young, but already as polished a passer as Young became well into his career. I actually looked forward to Panthers games every week just to watch this guy.

PHILIP RIVERS: Just good enough to be not quite great enough for a Chargers team that never has quite enough.

CARSON PALMER: Still waiting to see what all the hype is about.

MIKE VICK: The rest of the NFC is glad Vick and his Philly teammates didn't realize the lockout had ended until the season was 12 weeks old.

TONY ROMO: You know this guy is talented, but there's just something missing. He's sort of Eli Manning's opposite because he far too often finds a way to lose.

REX GROSSMAN: A very, very, very poor man's Romo.

KYLE ORTON: After coming off the scrap heap to lead the Chiefs to victory over the Packers, and then helping knock off Tebow in the season finale, Orton probably earned a very nice paycheck for himself next season. And speaking of guys who earned a big payday ...

MATT FLYNN: Aaron Who? Brett Who?

MATTHEW STAFFORD: Looks like he can be pretty special, at least as long as he can stay healthy -- and as long as Calvin Johnson is on the field with him.

MATT SCHAUB: A shame he got hurt just as the Texans were starting to get good.

ALEX SMITH: Finally came into his own in San Fran under Jim Harbaugh. I'm looking forward to seeing how he does under playoff pressure.

ANDY DALTON: Obviously skilled ... but will he be more than Carson Palmer?

SAM BRADFORD: Not enough information to know if he's a superstar in the making or an injury-prone bust in the making.

CHRISTIAN PONDER: A great big "We'll see."

JOE FLACCO: Eli Manning Lite.

JAY CUTLER: Another Romo-type who can make all the plays but often doesn't. Still, Chicago fans learned the hard way this year that there are a lot worse QBs than Cutler. Such as ...

CALEB HANIE: Sure, I'll have fries with that.

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Tebow's amazing powers

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Couldn't help but be impressed with the way Tim Tebow led the Broncos into the playoffs ... by willing the Chargers to victory over the Raiders!

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Today's High Five: Bad News Bears, Tebow's Troubles, Hall of Fame & More

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5. Well, Josh McCown wasn't awful against the Packers. And people say I'm negative about the Bears!

Actually, McCown was significantly better than anybody could have thought he'd be, given that he was an assistant high school football coach down here in North Carolina just a few weeks ago. His first interception was RB Kahlil Bell's fault and his second came on a heave with the Bears hopelessly behind.

All this makes me believe that if Jerry Angelo had given Lovie Smith a decent backup QB -- or if Smith had recognized earlier that Caleb Hanie was a lost cause -- the Bears might have won a couple of those games they lost and might not be playing next week just for funsies.

As for Bell, yes, he looked good running the ball against the Packers. But for those who think the Bears would have beaten the Broncos if only Bell had gotten the ball instead of Marion Barber ... you must have very short-term memory loss.

In addition to failing to block Clay Matthews (resulting in the aforementioned INT), Bell fumbled twice against the Packers, including once on the goal line. In other words, very Barber-like screwups.

Put it all together and it's pretty obvious that the loss of Matt Forte, not Jay Cutler, was the more fatal blow to a team that had little margin for error.

4. Got the presents I wanted: brass knuckles and nunchucks. Now I can go beat the hell out of people to steal their new Air Jordans. Happy Holidays!

3. I'll really be impressed with Chris Paul if he can lead the Clippers past the first round of the playoffs ... because it will mean he will have overcome Vinny Del Negro's coaching.

In other NBA news ... if you thought the Heat looked unbeatable in their season-opening smackdown of the Mavs, just wait until they get Eddy Curry healthy!

2. Finalized my Hall of Fame ballot: Barry Larkin, Tim Raines and Jack Morris.

My reasoning on Larkin and Raines was detailed in my previous post. As for Morris, I know he's borderline but I've voted for him in the past because of his performance in the 1980s and his postseason record, so I'm not going to deprive him now that I'm starting to think more about his shortcomings.

1. With his long wind-up, telegraphed deliveries, uncertainty in the passing game and extended stretches of horrid play, Tim Tebow still looks like more of a novelty act than an NFL quarterback.

John Elway's initial feeling that the Broncos wouldn't be able to build around Tebow was spot-on. If he follows through on his more recent, more emotional statements that Tebow is the long-term answer, Elway will regret it. As will Denver fans.

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Today's High Five: Tebow, Tiger and (who?) Sveum

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5. This whole Tim Tebow thing is pretty amazing. I'm not sure I've ever seen a situation in which a QB can play so consistently bad for so long and then somehow rally his team at the end.

But here's the deal Tebow's giddy worshippers might not get: This can't last. It just can't.

Either Tebow will develop at least some true quarterbacking skills, or he will not be able to play long-term in the NFL.

While acknowledging that Tebow has been impressive (in his own weird way) so far, I am at least a year or two away from admitting I'm wrong when I say I doubt he will be a standout NFL QB.

There's a reason the likes of Bobby Douglass and Tarvaris Jackson and Kordell Stewart didn't succeed over the long haul while Steve Young and Roger Staubach and Randall Cunningham did.

Either you learn to be an NFL quarterback and use your mobility to enhance those skills, or you become just another guy destined for those "remember him?" stories.

4. Tiger Woods isn't anywhere near "back," so I wish commentators and reporters would stop saying it every time he makes a spectacular shot or has a decent round.

We'll know Tiger is back when he wins a major. Period.

He judges himself by how he does in majors. Why should the rest of us judge him any differently?

3. Big win for my Lady Bucs, as we rebounded from our season-opening loss to handily defeat one of our archrivals, Providence Day.

Our defense was impenetrable in the second half, when we didn't allow a single point.

As I told the girls afterward: Nobody ever has lost a basketball game when shutting out the opponent.

2. Interesting that both the White Sox and Cardinals hired former players with no managing experience to replace World Series-winning skippers. Robin Ventura and Mike Matheny are born leaders, so it does make some sense.

It's a cool trend, and I hope it works.

1. In his first big move as new Cubbie Savior, Theo Epstein did something very different from his predecessors.

Jim Hendry and Andy MacPhail, feeling pressure from media and fans, always hired a big name -- a.k.a. "the best manager available": Lou Piniella, Dusty Baker, Don Baylor, Jim Riggleman. Each man had some good times but each ultimately failed.

Epstein could have pleased many fans (and followed the White Sox-Cardinals trend) by tabbing Ryne Sandberg. Instead, he went with a relative unknown, the beautifully bald Dale Sveum.

Then again, this being Cubbieland, does it really matter? They all come in full of life and they all go out in a figurative body bag.

After he fires Sveum in 2-3 years, I'll be curious to see who Epstein goes with next.

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I've got nothing against Tim Tebow, just the Tebow Hype Machine

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I was watching ESPN the other day and one of the talking heads (can't remember which one) asked another (again, can't remember) why so many people want Tim Tebow to fail.

That got me thinking ...

I often have poked fun at the incredible, cult-like loyalty Tebow's followers have for him and the amount of hype he receives. It's a stretch to say I want him to fail, but it is true that I always have disliked hype run amok.

I like to think I haven't taken those feelings out on Tebow himself. It's not his fault people love to love him and hate him and talk about him ad nauseum.

When I say Tebow doesn't have the skills to be a successful NFL quarterback, it's not because I don't like him. It's simply the same thing as when I said Dee Brown wouldn't be an NBA point guard.

Those are opinions based on my years as a paid observer. I get some wrong, too be sure, but that goes with the territory. A lot of NFL GMs -- who are paid handsomely to get 'em right -- get 'em wrong. That's why Tom Brady didn't get drafted until the 6th round, you know?

As a pro QB, Tebow was a great college QB. I still say he won't be an NFL star. Maybe in a few years, he will have proven me wrong.

Either way, I'm not rooting against him. I'm too busy rooting against Notre Dame!

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Today's High Five - Weekend Recap

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5. Syracuse and Pitt here, Texas and Oklahoma there ... more wild shuffling among major conferences and more talk of eventual "superconferences" of 16 teams or more.

It all seems rather silly because big-time college sport really needs only three mega-conferences:

Professional, Semi-professional and Amateur.

Sorry ... I know that's stupid.

As if enough schools could be found to fit the amateur category.

4. Lexi Thompson won the weekend's LPGA event. She was born in 1995.

Yes, 1995.

My electric toothbrush is older than she is. I'm serious.

3. Friday Night Lights had a nice run, and any sports fan -- or TV fan, for that matter -- who has yet to see show should rent its five seasons. That being said, Kyle Chandler, who was just fine as coach Eric Taylor, had absolutely no business winning the best dramatic actor Emmy over the likes of Steve Buscemi, Jon Hamm, Timothy Olyphant, Hugh Laurie or my choice, the amazing Michael C. Hall.

Even Chandler knew it, as he admitted when stunned by the victory. He hadn't bothered to prepare a speech because he felt he had no chance.

And while I'm on the subject ...

One thing we know for sure about the Emmys: At next year's Emmys, this year's Emmys won't win the award for best writing for a variety series. I actually felt sorry for the actors and actresses who served as presenters and had to deliver the pathetic, cliched, hackneyed, remarkably un-funny lines written for them. It was painful to watch.

2. The 2011 Red Sox seem determined to make the 2004 Cubs feel a little less choky.

1. On a day Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton earned exhilarating victories while Jay Cutler was pulverized in defeat, there are all kinds of NFL QB thoughts rushing through my chrome dome.

Cam Newton ... Wow! Another 400-plus-yard game. (And another heartbreaking Panthers loss.)

Tom Brady ... Ho-hum. Only a 400-plus-yard game. (And another routine Patriots win.)

Jay Cutler ... Called out his line after he got sacked six times. Hey Jay, it's not the linemen's fault they suck. You should have called out your GM and coach for giving you such sorry protection.

Tim Tebow ... The best darn blocking wide receiver on the Broncos' roster.

Aaron Rodgers ... Too good. Reminds me of Steve Young and John Elway after Young and Elway realized they could win mostly from the pocket. And no, I'm not the least bit uncomfortable comparing Rodgers to two Hall of Famers.

Kevin Kolb ... Please, please, please stop pronouncing your name "cobb." Or change the spelling.

Matt Ryan ... You don't think he's having a particularly good game; then you look up and he's got 4 TDs.

Mike Vick ... Spittin' blood like a pitbull on a bad day. (Sorry.)

Matthew Stafford ... How good can he (and his Lions) be if he can just stay healthy?

Drew Brees ... If he isn't the most fun-to-watch QB in football, he's in the team picture.

Tony Romo ... Finally comes through in the clutch, and with broken ribs no less. There's a good QB in there somewhere if those obsessed with America's Team will let him be more QB than soap-opera star.

Donovan McNabb ... Man, he got real old real fast.

Peyton Manning ... The NFL's MVP in absentia. With him, the Colts are championship contenders. Without him, they wouldn't win the new NCAA Professional Conference.

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Pryor knowledge: Another Tebow-like waste

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Al Davis wasting a third-round draft pick on Terrelle Pryor wasn't quite as bad as Josh McDaniels wasting a first-rounder on Tim Tebow ... but it's right down there.

At least Pryor might help the Raiders at some position other than QB. The Broncos likely will never get any meaningful contribution from Tebow, who as a bad quarterback in mediocre linebacker clothing.

The NFL has changed a lot over the years, thanks principally to the 3 S's: Size, Speed, Strength. What hasn't changed is that a consistently winning QB must be far, far, far more than a great athlete.

Guys like Tebow, Pryor, Eric Crouch, Vince Young, Doug Flutie, even Michael Vick can't win merely because they can outrun people. For one thing, they learn the hard way that NFL linemen and linebackers are considerably quicker than those in college.

As for those who would say Steve Young, Roger Staubach and Fran Tarkenton proved that scramblers could win, well, those folks have selective memories.

Fact is, each quarterback was a great passer. Young, especially, was incredibly accurate. And each didn't become a big-time winner until he learned exactly when to deploy his legs at the right time.

Look at the list of Super Bowl-winning QBs. Look at which quarterbacks consistently help their teams advance in the playoffs.

They often were described as leaders, students of the game, great passers, coaches on the field ... not "athletes." The most nimble used their legs to buy time in the pocket, maybe to pull off a surprise run.

The majority of them would have lost a 40-yard race to Fridge Perry.
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