Chicago musings: Forte's contract, Humber's imperfection, Jaramillo's exodus

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I guess what the mystics have said for eons is true: You can take the bald dude out of Chicago, but you can't take Chicago completely out of the bald dude ...

The Bald Truth

If I were Matt Forte -- and we often are mistaken for each other because of our incredibly athletic physiques -- I would skip all of minicamp, all of training camp and as much of the season as it takes ... until the Bears give me the contract I deserve.

Contracts in the NFL are unlike those in baseball, basketball and football. Beyond their signing bonuses, most players do not get guaranteed money. If they get hurt, they can be discarded as if they were dryer lint, and their team owes them nothing. Running backs, especially, have short careers and must maximize earnings while they can.

Forte has given everything to the Bears. One could argue pretty easily that he, not Jay Cutler or Brian Urlacher, has been their MVP these last few years.

Since he arrived in 2008, has there been a more underpaid player in the entire NFL?

After being jerked around by the McCaskeys and their personnel people, Forte deserves a contract that reflects his value.

He is irreplaceable, and he should dare the Bears to try to replace him.

The Balder Truth

In his 4-0 win over the Mariners on April 21, Philip Humber didn't allow a single baserunner. In his other 10 starts for the White Sox, he has a 6.92 ERA.

Oh well. Nobody's perfect.

BALDEST TRUTH

When the Cubs couldn't hit in either the 2007 or 2008 postseasons and then got off to a slow start in 2009, somebody had to take the fall. It wouldn't be their GM or manager or, God forbid, any of their players. No, it would hitting coach Gerald Perry. He was the problem, so Jim Hendry fired him.

The following offseason, in probably the most-hyped hiring of a hitting coach in baseball history, Hendry threw millions of Cubbie Bucks at Rudy Jaramillo. Over the ensuing months, Hendry and everyone else associated with the team repeatedly called Jaramillo "our biggest free-agent signing."

Oops.

Lou Piniella quit, Hendry got fired, a bunch of players got shipped away, different players came aboard. And no matter what, the Cubs never hit under the great Rudy Jaramillo.

Now, it's Jaramillo who is looking for a job.

Yep, today's Cubbie Savior (Theo Epstein) has sent yesterday's Cubbie Savior packing.

And on and on and on it goes.
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Today's High Five: Tebow, Tiger and (who?) Sveum

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5. This whole Tim Tebow thing is pretty amazing. I'm not sure I've ever seen a situation in which a QB can play so consistently bad for so long and then somehow rally his team at the end.

But here's the deal Tebow's giddy worshippers might not get: This can't last. It just can't.

Either Tebow will develop at least some true quarterbacking skills, or he will not be able to play long-term in the NFL.

While acknowledging that Tebow has been impressive (in his own weird way) so far, I am at least a year or two away from admitting I'm wrong when I say I doubt he will be a standout NFL QB.

There's a reason the likes of Bobby Douglass and Tarvaris Jackson and Kordell Stewart didn't succeed over the long haul while Steve Young and Roger Staubach and Randall Cunningham did.

Either you learn to be an NFL quarterback and use your mobility to enhance those skills, or you become just another guy destined for those "remember him?" stories.

4. Tiger Woods isn't anywhere near "back," so I wish commentators and reporters would stop saying it every time he makes a spectacular shot or has a decent round.

We'll know Tiger is back when he wins a major. Period.

He judges himself by how he does in majors. Why should the rest of us judge him any differently?

3. Big win for my Lady Bucs, as we rebounded from our season-opening loss to handily defeat one of our archrivals, Providence Day.

Our defense was impenetrable in the second half, when we didn't allow a single point.

As I told the girls afterward: Nobody ever has lost a basketball game when shutting out the opponent.

2. Interesting that both the White Sox and Cardinals hired former players with no managing experience to replace World Series-winning skippers. Robin Ventura and Mike Matheny are born leaders, so it does make some sense.

It's a cool trend, and I hope it works.

1. In his first big move as new Cubbie Savior, Theo Epstein did something very different from his predecessors.

Jim Hendry and Andy MacPhail, feeling pressure from media and fans, always hired a big name -- a.k.a. "the best manager available": Lou Piniella, Dusty Baker, Don Baylor, Jim Riggleman. Each man had some good times but each ultimately failed.

Epstein could have pleased many fans (and followed the White Sox-Cardinals trend) by tabbing Ryne Sandberg. Instead, he went with a relative unknown, the beautifully bald Dale Sveum.

Then again, this being Cubbieland, does it really matter? They all come in full of life and they all go out in a figurative body bag.

After he fires Sveum in 2-3 years, I'll be curious to see who Epstein goes with next.

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