Mad About Vlad For Hall Of Fame ... Plus: 'Roidz Boyz' Bonds & Clemens

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Even with increasing reliance on advanced statistics and technology, Major League Baseball often lives in the past. And that's usually grand, as I'm a 50-something guy with fond memories of eons gone by. Indisputable evidence of the old-schoolness of the game: The Baseball Writers Association of America only accepts Hall of Fame ballots sent via U.S. mail. That's right: No email, no faxes. 

What? They couldn't work out a deal with the Pony Express? Carrier pigeons are on strike?

As a 30-year BBWAA member and a 20-year Hall voter, I dutifully dropped my 2017 ballot in the mail this week, thereby beating the mandate that it be postmarked by Dec. 31. When's the last time you actually mailed something that required it be postmarked by a certain date? For me, it was last year's Hall ballot!

Of course, by necessity, the process of Hall voting also embraces the past. We voters were tasked with analyzing the records of ballplayers who have been out of the game for at least five years. And in the case of the two biggest names on the ballot - Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens - they have been retired for a full decade.

This year, for the first time, the Roidz Boyz got my vote.

Like 99% of intelligent baseball observers, I have no doubt that Bonds and Clemens were big-time juicers. I also have no doubt they were Hall-caliber players. I fully understand and respect why some of (maybe even the majority of) my voting colleagues will continue to ignore the Roidz Boyz. But for me, it's time.

Two years ago in The Baldest Truth, I explained my then-new policy for Steroid Era candidates:

1. If a player is the subject of completely unsubstantiated rumors (think Frank Thomas, who some thought "must be on steroids because he's so big"), I will tune out the noise and consider him as early as his first year on the ballot.

2. If a player is the subject of steroid whispers that conceivably might have merit (think Mike Piazza), I will not consider him as a first-ballot candidate to see if any new information gets fleshed out. If, after a year of additional scrutiny no new information is presented, I will consider him beginning in his second year on the ballot.

3. If a player likely was a steroid cheat but all available evidence showed that he had a Hall-worthy body of work before the juicing began (think Bonds and Clemens), I will consider him but only beginning with his fifth year on the ballot. I want to allow plenty of time before checking that box.

4. If I am convinced that a player could not have compiled his seemingly Hall-worthy stats without him having been a rampant juicer (think Mark McGwire), I will not vote for him because his entire career is a sham.

Simply stated, Bonds and Clemens were two of the best players I saw during my long career as a baseball reporter and columnist. That was the case even before they reportedly started taking steroids. Furthermore, for what it's worth, both have been publicly exonerated - Bonds by the courts and Clemens by Congress.

I suppose I could invoke the "character" clause to keep them off of my ballot. And again, I don't blame others who do just that. But lots of racists and drunks and scoundrels and druggies and cheaters and criminals have been enshrined. Should Cooperstown kick out Ty Cobb? Babe Ruth? Gaylord Perry? The dozens upon dozens of players who practically lived on greenies?

While the Roidz Boyz finally get my votes, a few other tainted former stars do not. I firmly believe that neither Sammy Sosa nor Gary Sheffield would have had Hall-worthy numbers had they not used their tushies like pincushions. As a bonus, Sammy also got caught corking his bat. Cheater, cheater, Flintstones Vitamins eater!

As ballot newcomers, Manny Ramirez and Pudge Rodriguez fall under Rule 2 above. Pudge was the best catcher I've seen and I'll consider him more thoroughly next year. I'm less excited about Manny's candidacy.

Before I reveal all of my choices, let me explain the reasons I didn't check the boxes next to a few other Hall candidates ...

Trevor Hoffman, Lee Smith, Billy Wagner. Because the save is one of the most overrated statistics in the sport, it's not easy for a reliever to get my vote. He had to have been a transcendent figure (like Mariano Rivera), and/or had to have been a good starter at one point in his career (like John Smoltz), and/or had to have regularly recorded multiple-inning saves (like Rollie Fingers). None of the current candidates met any of those requirements. Hoffman has a decent shot at getting in this year, and I don't begrudge him the honor. This is Smith's last year on the ballot and he probably will fall well short. Wagner has only a slightly better chance at being a Hall of Famer than Joe Borowski does.

Jorge Posada. He was a leader and a winner for the Yankees, but he just doesn't have the stats. Other fine players who don't quite have HoF numbers include Jeff Kent, Derrek Lee, Magglio Ordonez and Larry Walker.

Edgar Martinez. Of those who didn't get my vote, he was the toughest omission because he was a heck of a hitter. However ...

His "similarity scores" on BaseballReference.com compare him to Will Clark, John Olerud, Moises Alou, Magglio Ordonez, Bob Johnson, Matt Holliday, Bernie Williams, Paul O'Neill, Lance Berkman and Ellis Burks. Those guys also were outstanding hitters, but there isn't a Hall of Famer in the bunch. I am willing to vote for a DH (as I showed with my first-ballot vote for Frank Thomas), but Thomas' numbers were considerably better than Martinez's. Edgar never won a pennant and only once did he finish in the top 5 in MVP voting. Mostly, his career stats just aren't strong enough for me; he doesn't rank in the top 120 in HR, RBI or WAR. 

So here are the 7 players who received my check marks on the 2017 Hall of Fame ballot:

Jeff Bagwell

Barry Bonds

Roger Clemens

Vladimir Guerrero

Mike Mussina

Tim Raines

Curt Schilling

I already have talked about Bonds and Clemens. Bagwell, Mussina, Raines and Schilling are repeat selections for me, and I discussed them in detail in my Dec. 24, 2013 post. (Read It.) This is Raines' final season on the ballot and he came pretty close last year, so I hope one of his generation's best table-setters gets in at the final buzzer.

Which brings me to Vlad the Impaler ...

After the ballot was released publicly, my son called to talk about a few of the new candidates. "How about Vlad Guerrero?" My knee-jerk reaction: "Maybe, but I kinda doubt it." That's usually my initial reaction unless a guy is an absolute lock, such as Ken Griffey Jr. last year. It's the classic, instant "does he feel like a Hall of Famer" feeling. After I look into the numbers more, though, a candidate's case sometimes becomes more compelling. Such was the case with Vlad.

For example, I always thought of him as a free swinger who struck out a lot. Well, he was a free swinger ... but he never struck out even 100 times in any season and he fanned significantly less often than all 10 of his BaseballReference.com "similars" - including Hall of Famers Willie Stargell, Jim Rice, Billy Williams and Duke Snider. Meanwhile, his on-base percentage was better than the first three and only .001 lower than Duke's. His .931 OPS ranks 34th all-time.

His 449 HR (38th most in history) are the exact same as Bagwell's total and more than the totals of Rice, Williams and Stargell. His 1,496 RBI put him ahead of Rice, Williams and Snider. Guerrero played 16 seasons - the same as Rice, fewer than his other comparables and one more than Bagwell.  - and he didn't go long past his prime. 

In 2010, his next-to-last season, the 35-year-old Guerrero batted .300 with 29 HR, 115 RBI and an .841 OPS to help the Texas Rangers reach the World Series for the first time in franchise history. He was 11th in MVP voting - the eighth time he finished at least that high. He won the award in 2004 with the Angels and had four other top-6 finishes (two with the Expos, two with the Angels).

Those who say that he was an error-prone (albeit strong-armed) right fielder and that his career batting stats make him a borderline Hall of Fame candidate ... I can't argue too strongly with them. 

It says here, however, that his statistics give him a solid HoF resume - and drop him on the right side of the border. 

Vlad Guerrero gets my check mark, and I will be very curious to see how my BBWAA peers treat him.
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Cubbies bring The Baldest One back

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Yeah, yeah ... it's been forever since I posted here. Hey, I've been busy as heck. Coaching basketball again (we begin defense of our conference title next week), umpiring several days a week, writing for actual money for Seeking Alpha, golfing again (still mediocre at best), losing sleep as Hillary loses her lead in the polls, etc., etc., etc.

All it took was the Cubbies to win the World Series to get me going again. So here are a baker's dozen observations about that every-108-years occurrence ...

1. The Cubs were the best team all season, and it really wasn't very close. They were built beautifully by Theo Epstein, from the front office and manager on down. Very balanced: pitching, hitting, fielding, the whole nine yards. Seemed to have a very good "team personality," too -- guys liked each other, picked each other up when necessary, etc. This should serve them well for many years.

2. Joe Maddon over-manages sometimes, did so quite often during the postseason and really had a pretty crappy Game 7. It reminded me of Tony La Russa's occasional inability to keep his hands off. But, like La Russa, I'll take Maddon every day of the week. It doesn't take a genius to do a double-switch. The most important part of managing is dealing with the egos, and Maddon is wonderful at that.

3. Those who love the Cubs but hate domestic abusers had the perfect scenario in Game 7. Aroldis Chapman sucked so badly he actually was reduced to tears, but the Cubs still won.

4. The Indians had a nice lineup but their bench ... pretty suspect. The best pinch-hitters Terry Francona could come up with were Yan Gomes and Michael Martinez, who, to be charitable, are really bad. Gomes had a particularly terrible at-bat when the Indians had Chapman on the ropes in the 8th inning.

5. As soon as Chapman retired the side 1-2-3 in the ninth, I knew the Cubs were going to win. They had the heart of their lineup coming up in the 10th, and the Indians' staff was gassed. Jason Hayward's speech and some divine force causing a rain delay ... it's fun to talk about stuff like that, but it came down to a tired, good-but-not-great pitcher going against some outstanding hitters.

6. Kyle Schwarber ... now THAT'S a great story. And how freakin' good is Kris Bryant? Yikes! I'll already say that he could retire as the best Cub ever.

7. As I said, I'm no Cubs fan. I really didn't care if they had won or lost. But as with the Cavs, it's nice to see something that never happens, happen. Also, Ben still lives in Chicago and is a huge Cubbie fan, and it's nice to hear my son be so happy.

8. It was an interesting series, and a great Game 7, reminding me of some faves from over the years. The best series I ever saw in person was Twins-Braves '91. That produced several amazing games, including the best meaningful game I ever saw in person - Game 7, the "Jack Morris Game." (I make the "meaningful" distinction because we've all seen a lot of great regular-season games in every sport; it's the great moments that happen when the stakes are the highest that we really remember.)

9. My first major sportswriting assignment was the 1982 ALCS (Brewers-Angels) and World Series (Brewers-Cardinals), so those have special personal meaning for to me.

10. The most incredible half-hour of sports that I have ever witnessed personally came in the 2003 NLCS, Game 6, 8th inning. Never had seen anything like it and almost surely never will again.

11. Otherwise, I've seen so many great World Series games on TV that it's hard to rank them. Certainly, the Carlton Fisk game in '75 was memorable. Diamondbacks over Yankees in 2001. So, so, so many others. Old-timers will say the "Mazeroski game" in 1960 - when Bill Mazeroski's 9th-inning homer gave the Pirates a huge upset victory over the Yankees - was the greatest ever. That actually took place the day I was born, Oct. 13, 1960, and I have a cool baseball card commemorating that game with the date highlighted.

12. If you're truly a long-suffering Cubbie fan who stuck by the Lovable Losers through thin and thinner, I'm happy for you. If you're one of the zillions of Cubbie-come-latelies who glommed onto this team this season ... meh.

13. Two years ago, if you had asked me if the Cubs could win the 2016 World Series, I would have responded:

"Yeah, sure. And Donald Trump can win the effen White House."

That's all for this edition of The Baldest Truth, folks. See you again in 2124!

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Wacky, wild, weird, wonderful, woeful: What a week it was!

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It's been an interesting week, to say the least ...

Losing With ... Um ... Style?

My old-man softball team, which won the regular-season fall title, lost in the second round of the postseason tournament. It wasn't your run-of-the-mill defeat.

After a hit by our opponent early in the game, our shortstop took the relay and tried to throw the runner out at third, but our third baseman wasn't on the bag. Our shortstop yelled at our third baseman, who took umbrage and yelled back. The two moved closer to each other and jawed for a couple of minutes while players from both teams watched in bemusement. After the inning, the third baseman walked off the field, said, "I've had enough of this shit," and left the ballpark. Amazing.

We didn't play well and trailed 18-10 going into the bottom of the sixth. But we rallied gamely, scoring 5 runs that inning, giving up one run in the top of the seventh and scoring 3 in the bottom of the seventh to pull within 19-18. We had the bases loaded and two outs. Our batter scratched out an infield hit to tie the game, but our runner at second tried to come all the way around to score and was called out on a very close play at the plate. The umpire's emphatic call led to much whining (and more than a little cussing).

So the game went into extra innings ... and we lost. On the final play, our baserunner went into second standing up and made contact with the opposing second baseman. Tempers flared and much shouting ensued. Shortly thereafter, our left fielder -- who earlier in the season had almost brawled with our first baseman -- somehow got into it with the umpire. The two were wrestling like a couple of ancient polar bears; in the process, our left fielder pulled the umpire's shirt over his head, hockey-style.

Yep, we're a bunch of codgers but we still have fire in our ever-expanding bellies!

Losing With Consistency

The Panthers, my adopted team, pulled off the rare feet of losing twice at home within 5 days. In so doing, they went from having a fairly commanding lead in the NFL's worst division to having little chance to repeat as NFC South champs.

The Panthers have never had back-to-back winning seasons. Yes, that's never as in NEVER EVER. And it certainly looks like the streak will continue. The team's decision to go cheap in the defensive backfield, at wide receiver and on the offensive line has created too many weaknesses to overcome.

As is usually the case in sports, a team gets what it deserves.

Love The Ump!

I had an assignment at one field and then had to hustle to a completely different facility to umpire another game. The first game went into extra innings, so I didn't get to the second game until the bottom of the first inning was just ending. They had started the game with one of the dads calling strikes and balls while standing behind the pitcher's mound.

At the end of the inning, I walked onto the field. The coach who saw me first smiled broadly, shook my hand and said something most umpires never hear:

"Thank God you're here!"

Only The Best For The Cubbies

After yet another awful season, the Cubs are ready to hire ex-Rays manager Joe Maddon to finally get them to the promised land. Nobody denies he is the "best manager available."

If I were a cynic -- and we all know I'm not, right? -- I might point out that Lou Piniella and Dusty Baker each unquestionably was the "best manager available" when hired to rule over Cubbieland. If memory serves, the same even was said about Don Baylor and Jim Riggleman.

Yeah, optimists might say, but things will be different this time. The Cubs actually have a management plan. In Theo Epstein, they have a president with a proven track record of building World Series winners.

Oh, that is different. It's not as if Andy MacPhail had ever built a winner before coming to Cubbieland.

All I know is that nobody under the age of 106 ever lost a cent betting against a Cubs championship.

Eagles Are Flying Again

The Scholars Academy Eagles -- the middle-school girls' basketball team I coach -- held our tryouts and our first practice of the season this week.

Our team is deeper, taller, more experienced and, I believe, more talented than we were last season. At our first practice last year, we had trouble making layups. Layups? What am I saying? We had trouble making a single layup! Yesterday, we were making most of them ... and some jumpers, too.

Both the athletic director and executive director (that's right -- charter schools have executive directors, not principals) already have commented how good the team looks. Great. I was just thinking I need a little more pressure in my life!

I think I'll wait until we've played a game or three before I declare us a juggernaut-to-be. We still will be smaller than most opponents, still will have to scrap and fight for every win.

We also still have to show we will have the same kind of chemistry last year's team did.

The first game is Nov. 13 ... and I'm already nervous!

A Giant Among Giants

So many are praising Madison Bumgarner so much that this is where the voice-of-reason in me usually says: "Slow down. He isn't really the best World Series pitcher ever."

But you know what? He might be.

That last relief outing, with Bumgarner pitching 5 shutout innings in the Giants' 3-2 Game 7 win over the Royals ... wow!

When Joe Buck asked after the eighth inning: "How can Bruce Bochy take him out of the game?" I actually screamed at the TV: He can't!

Kudos to Bochy for not thinking he needed to do more managing. It was similar to Ozzie Guillen's understated managing during the White Sox's run to the 2005 title. Ozzie, you'll remember, let four straight starters pitch complete games in the ALCS.

Had Tony La Russa been San Fran's manager, you know damn well that he would have felt compelled to use a half-dozen relievers  -- and not one of them would have been half as good as Madison Bumgarner!

Riding A Writing Hot Streak

I just completed a three-part series for financial site Seeking Alpha about excellent Dividend Growth Investing opportunities. (Read Part 3 here.) The first two parts have combined to draw some 40,000 pageviews and 1,000 comments, and each of the three was designated an "Editors' Pick."

It's almost as if I used to be a writer or something!
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A sweet World Series prediction and a sweeter victory

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I didn't know Mike Matheny during his playing days, but I respected the intensity, leadership and game-calling skills he brought to the Cardinals. When he left as a free agent after helping the Cardinals get to the 2004 World Series, I columnized that they would miss him terribly.

And they did.

For about a year.

Yadier Molina has become a much better hitter than most thought he would be. Add in those amazing defensive skills, and he is the best all-around catcher of the new millennium. He was a vital part of St. Louis teams that won titles in 2006 and 2011.

Now both Molina and Matheny are back in the World Series with the Cardinals. The former is still as great as ever, and the latter is showing that Tony La Russa isn't the only recent manager who can guide the Cards to greatness.

Logic says to pick the Red Sox to win the World Series, but there's just something about these Cardinals. 

Whether it's some young kid (talkin' 'bout you, Michael Wacha) pitching out of his mind at just the right time ... an important offensive contributor (Allen Craig this time) coming back from injury ... a veteran who has been great forever (Carlos Beltran) finally getting a chance to bask in the Fall Classic glow ... or the reunion of the Molina-Matheny tandem ... I just find the Cardinals' story so compelling.

Unlike 2004, when the Red Sox finally got past the Yankees and then steamrolled the Cardinals to win their first championship of the post-Babe era, this looks to be a crazy-good series.

Cardinals in 7.

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Say what you want about Ozzie Guillen. In 2005, he had the guts to do what no other manager has done for a couple of decades now -- stick with his starting pitchers when the you-know-what hits the fan.

In that year's ALCS, Guillen's pitchers threw four consecutive complete games and the White Sox won that series and then the World Series. If he had failed, he would have been ripped mercilessly. But he didn't.

Fast-forward to this year's ALCS. As good a manager as Jim Leyland has been, he falls right in line with every other skipper today. No matter how dominant his starter has been, he can't resist going to the bullpen in the eighth and ninth innings.

Well, like Guillen in 2005, Leyland didn't have a proven, reliable closer. Unlike Guillen in 2005, Leyland kept taking out the likes of Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander ... to tragic results.

The Red Sox deserved to win the series, but one wonders what would have happened if Leyland had the Guillen-like guts to let his aces finish what they started. 

The good news for the Tigers: Scherzer and Verlander will be well-rested for next April!

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Jay Cutler just got even more valuable.

I'm not a big fan of the Bears' whiny, inconsistent QB -- you know, the one with one career playoff victory in eight seasons -- but I'd rather have him than a host of others. Including new QB-by-default Josh McCown.

Cutler looked awfully good standing there in street clothes while Caleb Hanie played in his place a couple of years ago, and McCown will make him look good in absentia, too.

Given that this is a contract year and that the Bears probably weren't going anywhere anyway -- I mean, have you seen what's left of that defense? -- this could end up having been quite a fortuitous injury for Cutler.

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Football ... baseball ... hockey ... basketball ... golf ... auto racing ... there were all kinds of contests over the weekend.

The biggest, of course, was the Best Dessert Competition in the Matthews Plantation subdivision. Won by ...

Is there any wonder why I keep my wife around?

Also, is there any wonder why my belly is round?

Congrats to my Sugar Mama!!

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Baldy's back, and just in time for my favorite month

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10. My Internet buddy (and faithful reader back when my columns appeared in the Springfield, Ill., newspaper), Doug Nicodemus, has been asking me repeatedly why I haven't been blogging much lately. On Monday, after checking TBT regularly the last 5 weeks but finding no new entries, he posted this on my Facebook page:

"no blog for awhile ... are we all done ... maybe ..."

No, I'm not all done. But as I have explained to Doug -- and as I explained earlier Monday to my softball buddy Johnny, whom I saw at a local golf course -- the little bit of writing I'm doing these days has involved me getting paid. Crazy concept, I know.

Not that money is the end-all and be-all, but it buys more things than bupkis. Which is what I get paid for posting here on The Baldest Truth.

So to my tens and tens of regular readers, I thank you for your loyalty but I make no promises other than to say that I'll continue to blog when something strikes me as relevant or when I have some spare time to write pro bono.

9. As much as I'd like to see the Pirates or Rays or A's win for the small markets or the Indians or Reds win for underdogs everywhere, I can't bring myself to predict multiple champagne showers for those teams this October.

I'm thinking the Tigers, with their fine starting pitching and powerful middle of the order, will meet the talented, high-priced Red Sox, for the AL pennant. And the Dodgers, with their incredible pitching, will take on the Cardinals, who always seem to rise to the occasion, for the NL crown. 

If the Tigers had a stud reliever, I'd pick them to beat the Red Sox. But they don't. So I won't. 

I'd like to see the Cardinals do it with Mike Matheny managing, because I always appreciated him as a player, but the Dodgers remind me of recent Giants teams that won championships despite mediocre hitting.

So I'm saying Red Sox vs. Dodgers in the World Series.

The champion? I'm leaning Dodgers, but I'll hold off with an "official" prediction until we get to the Series.

There. I've committed to another blog post later in October. That should make Doug and Johnny delirious with joy!

8. Folks keep trying to find all kinds of reasons that somebody other than Miguel Cabrera should win the AL MVP. Please. This is one of those it's-so-obvious-there-must-be-another-choice situations, like when NBA MVP voters used to try to find somebody not named Michael Jordan to win the award.

Mike Trout had a fine season for a sub-.500 Angels team that finished 18 games out -- a team that started poorly in part because Trout started poorly. And yet Cabrera still had better stats almost across the board, almost won a second straight Triple Crown, and did it all for a team he led to another division title.

This is the no-brainer of all no-brainers. Sabermetricians and other misguided souls need to stop trying to make this "race" something it isn't. 

Cabrera should be the unanimous MVP choice.

7. Meanwhile, if I had an NL MVP vote, I'd be going with Braves closer Craig Kimbrel, the single biggest reason Atlanta led its division from wire-to-wire.

When a team blows a late-inning lead, it's bad. When that happens repeatedly, it's catastrophic -- not only in the standings but in the psyche of every player on that team.

What a great joy and comfort it must have been all season for manager Fredi Gonzalez and all the Atlanta players to know their team pretty much was never going to blow a ninth-inning lead.

6. My "hometown" NFL team, the Panthers, better not have spent their bye week patting themselves on their backs for their blowout victory over the Giants. 

Everybody blows out the Giants!

The only team worse than the Giants right now is Jacksonville. And yes, I said "right now" for a reason. The Giants might still be able to find a new low.

5. I have started umpiring youth baseball, something I hadn't done for at least two decades. My first game was supposed to be this coming Wednesday but the umpiring coordinator was in a pinch and asked me call the bases for three games last Sunday involving 9-year-olds.

The first game began at noon. It went so long -- walks, physical errors, more walks, mental mistakes, still more walks; these are 9-year-olds, after all -- that the second game started 45 minutes late. That game also went long, so the third game started more than an hour late, and didn't end until 6:58 p.m.

So I spent 7 hours standing on a hot, dusty field. I tried to stay hydrated but almost surely didn't drink enough. I ate only an apple. By the time I drove home, I had one of the worst headaches of my life.

Next time I have to work more than one game, I will make sure I sit down between innings, will find some shade between games and will force myself to consume several gallons of water. Oh, and I'll take some Advil before the first pitch of the first game!

4. Because I umped all day Sunday, I watched zero football. Just saw a few highlights on ESPN; I couldn't watch it with the volume on because my head was pounding. 

I couldn't help but notice that Jay Cutler was back to his old give-the-ball-away tricks, playing a huge role in the Bears falling to the Lions.

That team will go only as far as its QB takes it, and I wouldn't want to bet my life savings -- or even one-billionth of my billion-dollar portfolio -- on that guy.

3. October is my favorite month.

The World Series (and the playoffs that precede the Series). The NFL in full swing. College football conference games (rather than the creampuff schedules that permeate September). The start of the NHL and NBA seasons. The start of college basketball practice. Wonderful weather here in Charlotte. 

October also is my birthday month. And given that my immaturity prevents me from getting old, what's not to love about that?!?!?!

2. In Monday's least-surprising sports story, the Cubbies fired manager Dale Sveum.

No matter who is running the show, including current Pooh-bah Theo Epstein, firing managers is what the Cubbies do best. 

They're not so hot at pitching or hitting or fielding or running the bases. Firing managers? They are championship-caliber in that domain!

The hot speculation is that Joe Girardi will be the next sucker. Girardi is a Peoria native, a Northwestern grad and a former Cubs catcher, and his contract with the Yankees expires in one month.

Even if he decided to leave New York, why he would want to manage in Cubbieland? Wouldn't several other organizations that have a chance to win before 2020 be more interesting to him? If he doesn't like the scrutiny in New York, why would he like it in Chicago, where Lou Piniella and Dusty Baker each went from genius to dolt (in the fans' eyes) in the space of less than one season? 

Then again, there does seem to be this amazing allure to the Cubs. Everybody wants to be The Guy to fix them. Piniella and Baker are recent examples of proven winners who went to Cubbieland, made an early splash and soon learned the hard way what all the trappings of Cubdom really mean.

If I'm Girardi, I stay with the Yankees. Or I go to just about any other team where winning actually happens. Or I chillax for a couple of years being a TV yakker.

I do just about anything but sign on to be part of Championship-Free Years No. 106, 107, 108 and 109. 

1. I'd come up with a memorable, spectacular, sensational conclusion to this blog post except I'm so excited about the Republicans in the House voting for the gazillionth time to either repeal or defund Obamacare that it's hard to think!

Never mind that repealing Obamacare was the No. 1 Republican goal of the 2012 election ... which they lost ... handily. Also never mind that the GOP also questioned the constitutionality of Obamacare in front of the Supreme Court ... and lost that, too.

This time, they're willing to shut down the entire government and possibly willing to refuse to pay the bills the country already has due. All for a fight they can't win, all to please the tea-partying extremists, all to avoid being "primaried."

What a country.

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Unlike Cubbies, Blackhawks found a way to win -- not another way lose

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If that had been the Cubs playing the Red Wings, they would have lost in overtime ... and "cursed" again would have been the word of the day, week, month, year, decade and century.

If that had been the White Sox playing the Red Wings, they would have lost in overtime ... and Hawk would have been whining about the dadgum dodobird who cost them the series.

If that had been the Bulls playing the Red Wings, they would have lost in overtime ... and conspiracy theorists would have opined that "of course, the NBA wanted the Red Wings to win."

If that had been the Bears playing the Red Wings, they would have lost in overtime ... and Jay Cutler would have shoved an offensive lineman after J.C.'s game-losing interception.

Thankfully, the Blackhawks were the Chicago team playing the Red Wings.

They weren't happy that a bad offsetting-penalty call nullified Niklas Hjalmarsson's apparent game-winning goal with less than 2 minutes left in regulation. But they quickly got over the disappointment, regrouped during the break before overtime and won it on Brent Seabrook's goal early in OT.

Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews, who is trying to lead his squad to a second Stanley Cup championship in four years, rallied the team after regulation, reminding his mates that the refs hadn't cost the Hawks the series. The Blackhawks, he said, still controlled their own destiny.

"Keep working," Toews said. "We were not going to go away that way."

Yes, it sucks to be victimized by a bad call. But every game in every sport includes hundreds of good plays and bad plays by both teams, good moves and bad moves by both coaches and good calls and bad calls by the officials. It's especially pathetic when a team caves after a bad call or an unfortunate bounce that doesn't even end the season -- yes, I'm talking to you, 1985 Cardinals, 1986 Red Sox and 2003 Cubs.

Many people forget that even after Don Denkinger's screw-up, Bill Buckner's blunder and Steve Bartman's foul play, the Cards, Sox and Cubs still had a chance to prevail. Each memorable moment came in a Game 6 and only tied the series. Instead, St. Louis, Boston and Chicago shrunk from the challenge and folded in Game 7. To this day, fans of those teams blame Denkinger, Buckner and Bartman.

If only those teams -- if only ALL teams -- took fate into their own hands, held themselves accountable and got the job done.

You know, just as Toews and the Blackhawks did.
^

Time again for this old hack to play ball

^
There was a point between wanting to be a comedian and wanting to be a veterinarian that I actually wanted to be a basketball player when I grew up.

Then, as now, I wasn't very smart. But even I was smart enough to know a not-quite-6-foot Jewish kid with the speed of a plow horse and the leaping ability of a sumo wrestler probably wasn't going to be able to hang with the likes of Bob McAdoo and Jamaal Wilkes.

So I gave up on that dream -- and, soon enough, would give up on the idea of being a veterinarian when I discovered to my horror that I'd actually have to take science and math while going to college for something like eleventy-zillion years -- to become a writer.

No regrets ... but that doesn't mean I'm still not a wannabe jock. And these days, that means doing the few active things I can do and hopefully not get maimed in the process.

That was a long introduction to say this:

It's softball time again!

Yes, for the second straight year, I'm playing in the Charlotte Senior Sports softball league. The season just started but already I've seen my share of excitement. Believe it or not, the Sons of Pitches actually traded for me a couple of weeks before the opener. Hey, if Babe Ruth, Nolan Ryan and Jeff Bagwell weren't too good to be traded, neither was I!

Our manager, Pat, and his first-round draft choice, Tom, were major contributors on my championship team from last year and decided they wanted me as a teammate again.

For comic relief, I assume.

In reality, I'm pretty sure Pat acquired me because he and I had been among the only folks who regularly went out for a beer after games last season. I'm an OK ballplayer who is willing to play anywhere the manager wants, and I'm a team-first chatterbox who makes wise cracks to keep everybody loose, but really, all Pat wanted was his drinking buddy back.

So anyway, we played our first game of the season Tuesday. It was a back-and-forth affair that we lost 19-18 in the final inning. I played catcher and batted 10th, both of which were absolutely fine by me. A lot of people don't like catching, but I think it's fun to handle the ball on every play and maybe be on the receiving end of a huge play that can decide a game. As for where I bat in the lineup, I'd be worried about my team if I was placed too high in the order.

I was fine at the plate, with two singles, a walk and three runs. As one might guess looking at the score, we had several players who did as well or better than I did. We struggled some in the field, though, which will happen in a season opener. The other team didn't exactly flash a bunch of Gold Gloves, either.

Aside from the final result, it was a fun night -- even if I had to disappoint Pat and opt out of postgame libations. I've been battling a cold and I decided that NyQuil, not Stella Artois, should provide my alcohol for the evening.

Hopefully, next week will be a different story, both on the scoreboard and afterward.
^

A Hall of a situation

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Yes, it was headline-worthy that not one candidate was elected to the Hall of Fame ... but really, was it that big of a surprise?

Even if any of the Royd Boyz do eventually get in, it is not the least bit shocking they were denied on their initial year as candidates. I specifically said I wasn't going to give the likes of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens the special honor of being first-ballot HoFers, and I'm sure dozens (if not hundreds) of my fellow voters felt that way, too.

Craig Biggio also didn't quite make it on the first ballot, but he has an excellent chance next year because there are many, many BBWAA voters who save first-ballot HoF status for only the best of the best.

Other observations:

-- I knew Sammy Sosa wouldn't come close to getting in but I was surprised he received fewer votes than Mark McGwire did. While those two will be linked forever in baseball history, Sosa finished with better numbers and also had more skills than McGwire did.

-- Again, I'm not stunned that Jeff Bagwell didn't get in, but I did think he would get more votes. I was relieved he didn't miss by one, because I already am second-guessing my decision to leave him off my ballot.

-- Don Mattingly received enough votes to stay on the ballot for next year but Bernie Williams didn't. There is zero doubt in my mind that Williams was the better, more important Yankee.

-- Lots of get-a-lifers -- yahoos who spend a good chunk of their time obsessing about the HoF -- said only idiots would refuse to put the Royd Boyz in the Hall on the first ballot while stating we very well might vote for Bonds and Clemens in future years. Well, here's what another first-ballot candidate, Curt Schilling, told ESPN:

"I think it's fitting. If there ever were a ballot or a year to make a statement about what we didn't do as players, this is it."

Schilling went on to say that even players who weren't juicers were complicit in the Steroid Era and deserved to be denied Hall entry. And he went out of the way to include himself among the guilty.

Schilling, who finished just ahead of Bonds and Clemens, got my vote. And now I feel even better about it.

-- Sad to see two guys drop off the ballot: Dale Murphy couldn't get anywhere near enough votes during  his 15 years of eligibility but truly embodied all the great things in sports; and Kenny Lofton, a fine player during his prime who almost surely deserved more than one year as a candidate (he didn't get the required 5 percent of the vote).

-- I sure as heck hope that the one writer who checked the box next to Aaron Sele's name did so as a protest vote.
^

Stuff yourself silly with the 2012 Turkeys of the Year

^
It's that time of the year, when thoughts turn to the turkey on our plates and the Turkeys who inhabit the sportosphere.

My tradition of choosing a Turkey of the Year goes back to my first year as Copley Newspapers' Chicago columnist, 1998, when Bears president Michael McCaskey was so inept that his mommy fired him.

Since then, it's been a parade of clowns, cads, chokers and chumps: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron (2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009); Mark McGwire (2010); Joe Paterno & Penn State Enablers (2011).

(You'll notice that from 1998-2009, most Turkeys of the Year had Chicago and/or Midwest connections because of where I lived and columnized. Now in my second full year as a Southern boy, the Turkey Countdown has a different flavor.)

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor, the founder of Copley's sports turkey awards and one of the great guys journalism has ever known.

10. RYAN KALIL: The Panthers center took out a full-page newspaper ad before the season promising Carolina fans that the team would win the Super Bowl. By the time the Panthers reached their bye week, they were 1-4 and Kalil was done for the season with a foot injury. Great. Now nobody will take out full-page newspaper ads. As if the business isn't in bad enough shape.

9. JEFFREY LORIA: The Marlins owner got taxpayers to foot the bill for a new ballpark and then filled it with expensive players ... for about half a season. When the team stunk, he dumped just about every player who made more than 12 cents and fired Ozzie Guillen for being what Ozzie Guillen always has been. And hey, even Loria's ballpark is ugly.

8. LANCE ARMSTRONG: Yeah ... I know ... it's only really a headline if a cyclist doesn't dope. Still ... this was Lance Freakin' Armstrong, all-American hero, who spent most of a decade cheating and lying.

7. BOBBY VALENTINE: The biggest Boston disaster since Cheers went off the air.

6. NHL OWNERS, PLAYERS & COMMISH GARY BETTMAN: Working together marvelously to keep hockey an irrelevant, niche sport.
 

5. REX RYAN: The Jets had just signed Mark Sanchez to a huge, long-term deal when Ryan traded for Tim Tebow -- ensuring that ever-patient New York fans would be calling for Tebow to play every time Sanchez threw an incomplete pass. Even Jets players know Tebow is terrible, but why should that stop fans from praying for a Tebow miracle?

4. MELKY CABRERA: He was All-Star Game MVP for the winning NL team, thereby giving his Giants homefield advantage in the World Series. Cabrera wasn't there to see the Series, though, having been suspended for juicing. The cool thing is that the Giants won without him. I wonder if he'll get a championship ring?

3. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS FANS: By cheering when QB Matt Cassel got hurt, these yahoos proved that they belong in a second-rate sports town. 

2. ALEX RODRIGUEZ: Followed a bad season with an almost surreal postseason. The richest man in baseball history was benched for three playoff games and pinch-hit for six times. The good news for A-Dud is that the $114 million left on his Yankees contract can buy lots of HGH and plenty of masking agents.

And now, the 2012 Turkeys of the Year:

U.S. RYDER CUP TEAM

There are chokes, there are Cubbie chokes and then there was this, arguably the most complete choke-job in the history of professional sports.

The chokiest of chokers was Jim Furyk. His collapse in his pivotal match capped a year in which he also frittered away the U.S. Open and two PGA Tour events.

This result hardly could be pinned on Furyk alone, however. Tiger Woods didn't record a single point in the entire event. Neither did Steve Stricker, who was joined by Furyk, Bubba Watson, Keegan Bradley and Phil Mickelson on the list of Americans who wet themselves down the stretch.

Holy Heimlich, Batman ... talk about a total team effort.
^

Today's High 5: College football's unimpressive playoff. Also: vacations for me ... and Erin Andrews

^
5. Four teams? Please.

The college football playoff needed to accommodate at least eight teams to make it a true national tournament -- as well as to keep cronyism at bay. You know the selection committee will be filled with big-money-conference types who will protect their golden geese. 


The bloated bowl system remains intact, too, which is nice for fans of the Beef O'Brady's Bowl.

As satisfying as it was to hear the powers-that-be finally admit that the BCS was a huge failure, this is barely progress. And for some head-scratching reason, college honchos felt the need to lock this new system in place for 12 years.

Wake me when we have a real champion, please.

4. White Sox GM Ken Williams gets criticized often, but I always have admired the way he swings for the fences. His latest move, getting Kevin Youkilis from the Red Sox for spare parts, bordered on brilliant.

3. I took some time off from TBT while Roberta and I visited Chicago. We drove up from Charlotte with our beautiful pup, Simcha -- who was in the car, not strapped to the top in an air-tight cage.

We spent most of our time with young'uns Katie and Ben, who are doing wonderfully, thanks for asking. We also got to visit our dear friends, the Marks, the Pellikans and the Brundidges.


On Friday, I golfed with sportswriter buddies Rick Morrissey, Teddy Greenstein, Mike Imrem, Lindsey Willhite and Adam Rittenberg. That's right: a Sun-Times guy, a Tribster, two Daily Herald dudes and an ESPN.com scribe; that's about as diverse a group as a bunch of lily-white males can be. It would have been even more diverse (and more white and more male) if the Southtown Star's Phil Arvia had joined us as planned. He wimped out with the lamest of excuses: his wife broke her leg. Two days later, I hit the links with my two best Marquette friends, Tom Chodzko and John Lamich. I shot a pair of 93s, so it's a good thing the company was great!


One of the trip's highlights took place Saturday night, when my wife and I saw our favorite band, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, rock the Cubby Bear. Katie and Ben joined us and a fantastic time was had by all.


Oh, and of course, we ate at Pequod's, the best deep-dish pizza on earth.

All in all, it was a super fun Chicago visit before we returned to Charlotte -- just in time for it to be 100-plus degrees all weekend. Pass the deodorant, please.

2. I have yet to decide if I love HBO's newest series, The Newsroom, but I'm pretty sure I don't hate it.

And I must admit that I laughed out loud upon hearing that Jeff Daniels' character, combustible newscaster Will McAvoy, spent a vacation in the tropics canoodling with Erin Andrews.

You know ... I had wondered why I hadn't seen her lately.

1. After winning our previous three games, including our playoff opener, by double-digit slaughter-rule scores, our 45-and-over softball team, the Blue Thunder, suffered a tough defeat Tuesday night.

Yours truly had two line-drive hits, scored a few runs and had an RBI ... but I also messed up: Playing catcher, I failed to scoop a low throw that would have cut off a run; I also got thrown out at the plate trying to score. As a team, we played a little too loose in the field, walked a few too many batters and didn't have quite enough hits, all contributing factors to us blowing a late lead and losing by two runs.

We're not done yet, though. It's a double-elimination tournament, and we already have scored decisive victories over the next two teams we'll face (if we win our next game, that is).

Why am I boring everybody with my softball team's exploits? Well, because I can. It's my blog!

Besides ... our playoffs, unlike major college football's, will produce a true champion.
^

Today's High 5: Clemens "not guilty" ... but probably not Hall bound

^
5. OK, so Roger Clemens is officially "innocent." Can we please start spending tax dollars on something that actually matters to society?

Like, perhaps, appointing me Czar of Sports Hackery?

4. Yes, Jim Furyk imploded in a collapse that, while not quite Vandeveldeian or Normanian (or even Cubbian), certainly was impressive. And yes, some poser named Eldrick Woods fell apart on Saturday and Sunday, proving for the umpteenth time that he's nowhere near being Tiger again.

But give Webb Simpson credit. While others around him were fading away in the San Fran fog, he was shooting a 68-68 over the weekend on a course that seemed only slightly more fun than a Seamus Romney road trip.

Simpson not only outlasted everybody, he outplayed everybody. He made the most big shots on championship Sunday. And that, my friends, is how you win a U.S. Open.

3. I remember having a discussion at the end of the 2007 NFL season with another scribe during which we concluded that LaDainian Tomlinson was one of the top five running backs we had seen, right up there with Walter Payton, Emmitt Smith, O.J. Simpson and Barry Sanders. (We both are too young to remember Jim Brown.)

After that discussion, L.T. had an injury-plagued 1,100-yard season, followed by two sub-par (for him) years, followed by last season's slog as a specialty back for the mediocre Jets.

And now he has retired at the ripe old age of 32.

Life as an NFL runner is glamorous for a short spell but certainly isn't easy.

2. Finally, LeBron James is looking and acting and sounding and, most importantly, playing like a guy who cares more about winning than anything else.

He's only two wins away from proving he belongs to be mentioned in the same breath as the Michaels, Kobes and Magics.

Of course, he's also only three losses away from having more scorn rained down upon him than any Twitter-era athlete ever has experienced.

Kind of makes you root for him a little, no?

No? OK.

1. So now that Clemens has been found not guilty of perjury and all other charges against him in a trial that cost taxpayers a mere 3 million bucks, what are his chances of getting into the Baseball Hall of Fame?

Answer: not too good.

Based on how voting has gone down the last few years, if a guy even is suspected slightly of having used steroids, he gets the short shrift from the Baseball Writers Association of America. And despite Monday's verdict, more than a little suspicion remains about Roger. He will be shunned big-time.

I am leaning toward voting for him because I believe he had a Hall of Fame record of accomplishment before his juicing reportedly began.

Having said that, I probably won't vote for him this December, when he appears on the ballot for the first time.

I've never been a voter who has differentiated between "regular" Hall of Famers and first-ballot Hall of Famers. It never bothered me that some of my peers reserved first-ballot status only for the best of the best, but I always felt that if a guy deserved a Hall vote, he deserved it ... period.

I think I'll change things up for the few Roid Boyz that I deem Hall worthy. If they're going to get my vote at all, they're going to have to wait for it.

Why? Because I have the power to make them wait, that's why.
^

Chicago musings: Forte's contract, Humber's imperfection, Jaramillo's exodus

^
I guess what the mystics have said for eons is true: You can take the bald dude out of Chicago, but you can't take Chicago completely out of the bald dude ...

The Bald Truth

If I were Matt Forte -- and we often are mistaken for each other because of our incredibly athletic physiques -- I would skip all of minicamp, all of training camp and as much of the season as it takes ... until the Bears give me the contract I deserve.

Contracts in the NFL are unlike those in baseball, basketball and football. Beyond their signing bonuses, most players do not get guaranteed money. If they get hurt, they can be discarded as if they were dryer lint, and their team owes them nothing. Running backs, especially, have short careers and must maximize earnings while they can.

Forte has given everything to the Bears. One could argue pretty easily that he, not Jay Cutler or Brian Urlacher, has been their MVP these last few years.

Since he arrived in 2008, has there been a more underpaid player in the entire NFL?

After being jerked around by the McCaskeys and their personnel people, Forte deserves a contract that reflects his value.

He is irreplaceable, and he should dare the Bears to try to replace him.

The Balder Truth

In his 4-0 win over the Mariners on April 21, Philip Humber didn't allow a single baserunner. In his other 10 starts for the White Sox, he has a 6.92 ERA.

Oh well. Nobody's perfect.

BALDEST TRUTH

When the Cubs couldn't hit in either the 2007 or 2008 postseasons and then got off to a slow start in 2009, somebody had to take the fall. It wouldn't be their GM or manager or, God forbid, any of their players. No, it would hitting coach Gerald Perry. He was the problem, so Jim Hendry fired him.

The following offseason, in probably the most-hyped hiring of a hitting coach in baseball history, Hendry threw millions of Cubbie Bucks at Rudy Jaramillo. Over the ensuing months, Hendry and everyone else associated with the team repeatedly called Jaramillo "our biggest free-agent signing."

Oops.

Lou Piniella quit, Hendry got fired, a bunch of players got shipped away, different players came aboard. And no matter what, the Cubs never hit under the great Rudy Jaramillo.

Now, it's Jaramillo who is looking for a job.

Yep, today's Cubbie Savior (Theo Epstein) has sent yesterday's Cubbie Savior packing.

And on and on and on it goes.
^

Today's High 5: NBA conspiracies, idiotic tweets and the baldest of eagles

^
5. I am shocked -- shocked! -- that the Hornets, who have been owned and operated by the NBA this past year, won the Draft Lottery (and the right to select the only great player available).

And I am shocked -- shocked! -- that anybody would dare suggest a conspiracy or a conflict of interest.

4. It seems Albert Pujols isn't the next Mo Vaughn after all.

3. The Baldest Eagle has landed!

That's right: I carded my first-ever eagle on Thursday thanks to a boomer of a drive, a best-of-the-season 5-iron and a 2 1/2 foot putt. If I'd have choked on that putt, I never would have lived it down.

I saved my choke for the next hole, when I hit my 9-iron tee shot within 5 feet and then promptly 3-putted.

Eagle or no eagle ... I still golf like me, dammit!

2. Will any of us ever forget where we were Wednesday, when Kordell Stewart announced his retirement from pro football a mere 7 years after he last wore a uniform?

1. Has-been Wally Szczerbiak took to Twitter to rip ex-teammate Kevin Garnett for being a guy who "lacks the #clutchgene."

Yes, the famously clutch Szczerbiak ... owner of what, a dozen NBA titles? OK, not quite. But he was owner of a reputation as one of the NBA's most selfish players back in his day.

A day that has long since passed, by the way.

Wally Effin Szczerbiak ain't even the lint in KG's belly button. Put a hash-tag on that, loser.

Today's High 5: From Derrick Rose to Kerry Wood

^
5. Here was my knee-jerk reaction to those who hypothesized that Tom Thibodeau was responsible for Derrick Rose's injury -- and therefore the Bulls' early playoff exit -- because Rose was still playing in the playoff opener with 82 seconds left and the Bulls up by 12: Those jerky hypothesizers should be kneed in the groin.

But what if I was wrong? What if every intelligent coach, guys with much more experience and a longer history of success than Thibodeau, would have had Rose out of there?

Well, three weeks later, the evidence is in. And I wasn't wrong at all.

Game after game, coach after coach has left his stars deep in lopsided games to make sure his team didn't blow a big lead. Doc Rivers has done so with the Celtics, Eric Spoelstra has done so with the Heat and, most notably, Gregg Popovich has done so with the Spurs.

In Game 1 vs. the Clippers, Popovich still had Tim Duncan and Tony Parker in the game with 61 seconds to go and the Spurs leading by 15. He had subbed for Manu Ginobili with a 15-point lead and 2:33 remaining -- the same time Clippers coach Vinny Del Negro removed his stars, Chris Paul and Blake Griffin.

That's right: Duncan and Parker didn't come out until a minute and a half after Del Negro conceded.

In game 2, Popovich didn't take out Duncan and Parker until the Spurs led by 17 with 2:02 left -- and, again, only after Del Negro had removed Paul and Griffin.

I guess Popovich is pretty stupid. He's only going for his fifth NBA title.

Look, most coaches are neurotic. They think a 20-point lead with 20 seconds to go isn't enough. They don't want to be remembered as the guy who subbed too early and then suffered a blown lead of historic proportions.

Most coaches embrace this philosophy: If the game is "over," let the other coach concede by taking out his players first; then I'll take out mine.

Thibodeau did exactly what Popovich, Spoelstra, Rivers and probably each of the other 26 NBA coaches would have done: He played to win the game.

4. NBA honchos and network executives might have wanted an all-glitz, all-L.A. Western Conference final, but Spurs-Thunder will be much more entertaining ... and much more representative of the conference's best.

3. After LeBron James missed a late free throw, Lance Stephenson flashed the choke sign. Which leads to one question:

Who in the name of garbage time is Lance Effin Stephenson?

James had two perfect answers when asked about Stephenson, a little-used Pacers reserve.

First came the verbal retort: "Lance Stephenson? You want a quote about Lance Stephenson? I'm not even gonna give him the time."

Then came the physical one: James had 40 points, 18 rebounds and 9 assists as the Heat reclaimed homecourt advantage by beating the Pacers.

Stephenson's contribution? DNP-CD. That's the box score abbreviation for Did Not Play - Coach's Decision.

Garbage-time scrubs shouldn't be allowed to talk, let alone make throat-slash gestures that awaken a sleeping giant.

2. Is it me or does Brian McNamee seem even less believable than Roger Clemens? And that's no easy feat!

1. I have nothing but fond memories of the years I spent covering Kerry Wood.

He always was fair to me. He answered every question I ever asked him, even those he didn't like. And he always gave every ounce of energy and passion when he played -- a fact that no doubt contributed to the many, many injuries he suffered and, finally, to his retiring Friday at the still-young age of 34.

I didn't cover his 20-strikeout game. I was running errands that day and didn't even hear about it until I was on my way to the Bulls playoff game that night. It would have been cool to have been there, but I did get to witness many other incredible performances by him.

One example: His pitching against the Braves absolutely carried the Cubs into the 2003 NLCS. As often was the case with snakebitten Wood, however, his highs were followed by lows.

The night after the famous Bartman game, the Cubs still had a chance to win their first pennant in 58 years with Wood on the mound for Game 7. I never heard Wrigley Field louder than it was when his two-run homer in the second inning tied the game. An inning later, a shot by Moises Alou gave Wood a two-run lead. He holds that lead, and Steve Bartman is but an amusing footnote, not one of the biggest villains in Cubbie lore.

But Wood was spent and couldn't hold on, allowing 7 runs as the Cubs completed their epic collapse.

Afterward, a teary-eyed Wood said: "I let my teammates down, I let the organization down and I let the city of Chicago down. I choked."

That's right: An athlete didn't try to make excuses, didn't point fingers at teammates and accepted considerably more responsibility than he had to. Honesty and accountability ... crazy concepts.

It's hard to believe that someone as talented and as hyped as Kerry Wood had only 86 career victories and never had a single 15-win season.

It shows how much luck and health mean to athletes.

I'll always look back on Wood -- and his fellow star-crossed Cubbie, Mark Prior -- as cautionary tales. As in: Stephen Strasburg is gonna be great? Maybe. But don't forget that Wood and Prior were gonna be great, too. Let's just see what happens before we anoint somebody ... "

Through all the injuries and adversity, Wood was a fighter, a stand-up guy and an amazingly hard worker. He is one of the good guys. Cubbieland, and all of baseball, is poorer without him.
^

From Motown, a princely sum

^

The Yankees weren't interested. Neither were the Red Sox or Phillies. They already had their big-money first basemen.

The Angels? Not unless they decided to trade Albert Pujols.

The Mets and Dodgers have financial woes that make our national debt look palatable.

Cubbies boss Tom Ricketts, still choking down the Alfonso Soriano mega-contract he inherited from the previous regime (and paying Cra-Z Zambrano nearly $18 million to not pitch in Chicago this season), had no appetite for another gargantuan deal.

The Rangers, Giants, White Sox and suddenly spend-a-riffic Marlins were all tapped out.

Yes, as consistently good as he has been, Prince Fielder entered free agency with few legitimate suitors.

And yet there he was Tuesday, celebrating the nine-year, $214 million contract he got from a Detroit team that seemed to have already cornered the market on first basemen who should be DHs.

One thing for sure:

When I make my big comeback, I'm hiring Scott Boras as my agent!

^

It's not the Hall of Very Good

^

It shouldn't be easy to get in the Baseball Hall of Fame, so I don't feel "sorry" for anybody who didn't make it. Two guys I voted for didn't get enough votes: Tim Raines and Jack Morris. They'll have more chances, though Morris only has two more years on the ballot.

Meanwhile, congrats to Barry Larkin, a heck of a shortstop in his day and, from all accounts, a decent guy.

The buzz is already starting about The Juicer Class of '13. Lots of interesting debates to come!

^

It's Turkey Time!!

^

Politicians don't get to have all the fun. Jocks get to be turkeys, too, which is why I count down the top sports gobblers every Thanksgiving.

This tradition dates back to my first year as Copley Newspapers columnist, 1998, when Michael McCaskey had so mismanaged the Bears that his mommy took the team presidency away from him and demoted him to official Halas Hall gardener.

Since then, it's been one doofus, doper or downer after another: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron(2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004, an unprecedented back-to-back showing!); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009); Mark McGwire (2010).

(You'll notice that from 1998-2009, most of those fine folks had Chicago connections. That's because I columnized and blogged mostly about Chicago sports during those years. Having moved to Krispy Kreme Kountry last year, the Turkey Countdown has a different look.)

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor and one of the great guys I ever encountered in journalism.

And now for the countdown ...

10. WILLIAMSES. Rough year for Stevie, Serena, Hank Jr. and Ken. Oh, and last we knew, Ted's head was still frozen somewhere in Arizona.

9. TIGER WOODS. Remember when he used to ... I don't know ... be really good at golf?

8. RON ZOOK. Who's got next? Somebody? Anybody? Please?

7. DALE EARNHARDT JR. & JR HILDEBRAND. On the very same May Sunday, Earnhardt and Hildebrand put on a clinic on how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. With the checkered flag just seconds away, Hildebrand crashed into the wall, making a winner of Dan Wheldon at the Indy 500. Hours later, a half-mile from the finish line at the Coca-Cola 600 in Charlotte, Earnhardt ran out of gas as Kevin Harvick claimed victory.

6. ADAM DUNN. Arguably had the worst offensive season in baseball history. The only reason I say "arguably" is that the White Sox stopped playing their $56 million man the last couple of months, keeping him from putting up some truly eye-popping failure numbers.

5. JIM TRESSEL. Really? You really have to cheat to win football games at Ohio State? I mean, I'd understand it if Zook did it. But Tressel?

4. LeBRON JAMES. Selfish and clueless, he is a perfectly good representative on this list for all the millionaire players, owners, agents and lawyers responsible for shutting down the NBA. (Oh, and we're still waiting for him to start delivering those seven titles after taking his talents to South Beach.)

3. CARLOS ZAMBRANO. He's been a few cards short of a deck for a decade now, but the dude I call Cra-Z completely lost his mind when he threw at Atlanta batters because he couldn't get them out. Once just a bit quirky, Cra-Z has joined Milton Bradley, Phil Nevin, Kent Mercker, Dave Kingman and a select few others on the list of least cuddly Cubbies of the last 40 years.

2. JOSH BECKETT, JOHN LACKEY & JON LESTER. Booze-swilling baseball buddies put the "club" back into clubhouse. And the choke back into the Red Sox.

And now -- drumstick roll, please -- the 2011 Turkey of the Year ...

1. JOE PATERNO (& HIS FLOCK).

JoePa quietly passed the buck upon learning that a sexual predator was molesting kids right in his locker room.

When the allegations finally came to light years later, thousands of students protested -- not because kids had gotten raped on JoePa's watch but because Penn State fired the old ostrich who had stuck his head in the sand.

I'm not sure if this says more about our deification of coaches, our societal woes or the value of a Penn State education.

All I know is that JoePa is a doting father and grandfather many times over ... and if he had received word that one or more of his progeny had been molested, he wouldn't have just told his boss and then moved on.

^