It's not the Hall of Very Good

^

It shouldn't be easy to get in the Baseball Hall of Fame, so I don't feel "sorry" for anybody who didn't make it. Two guys I voted for didn't get enough votes: Tim Raines and Jack Morris. They'll have more chances, though Morris only has two more years on the ballot.

Meanwhile, congrats to Barry Larkin, a heck of a shortstop in his day and, from all accounts, a decent guy.

The buzz is already starting about The Juicer Class of '13. Lots of interesting debates to come!

^

Corey Patterson to White Sox: THANKS!!!

^
I didn't even know Corey Patterson was still in the majors. Really.

Turns out, he is. And, thanks to White Sox pitching, he's a .300 hitter.

The former Cubbie prospect-turned-washout is now with the Blue Jays. And after going 9-for-12 with 6 runs, 4 RBI and 2 HR in two games against the Sad Sox, his average climbed 33 points to .301. The homers matched his season total coming into the series, which the Blue Jays dominated to set Ozzie Guillen off on a couple more f-bomb festivals.

The White Sox next play Boston, and sources say Hee-Seop Choi is begging the Red Sox to sign him so he can resurrect his career, too.
^

Does any GM try harder to win than White Sox GM?

^

The Bald Truth

So many GMs in all sports try to avoid embarrassment. They try to avoid "losing" a trade. They try their hardest not to lose instead of to win.

And then there's Kenny Williams.

The White Sox and their fans are very lucky that their guy will do pretty much anything legal to win. Victory - ultimate victory, like the team experienced in 2005 - is the only thing that matters to Williams.

Hey, I'm not sure if Alex Rios is a great player waiting to bust out, a very good player who already has peaked, a good player who never will be great, or an OK player who is vastly overpaid.

What I am sure of is that claiming him on waivers from the salary-dumping Blue Jays was worth a shot.

The arrival of Rios and his $61 million contract through 2014 - along with last month's stunning deal for big-money ace Jake Peavy - almost surely means that Jermaine Dye and/or Jim Thome won't be back next season. So be it.

Where Rios will play is another matter. Ozzie Guillen, a manager who often doesn't get the credit he deserves for his ability as a strategist, will find creative ways to fit five players - Rios, Dye, Thome, Carlos Quentin and Scott Podsednik - into four slots.

Besides, given the injury histories of Dye, Thome, Quentin and Podsednik, the acquisition of Rios could end of being the difference in the AL Central race. If the White Sox don't win, it won't be because they had too many outfielders and DHs.

Bottom line: If Kenny Williams believes so much in Alex Rios, I'm willing to give the player the benefit of the doubt.

Williams is right a hell of a lot more often than he is wrong. And even when he's wrong, he's wrong in a good way because all he cares about is winning.

The Quote

"There was a dispute over the fee and it just kind of escalated from there. It was not really a robbery. That is probably a large distortion of what happened. I think we should be able to work things out." - Andrew LoTempio, the lawyer for the Buffalo cabbie who allegedly was assaulted by Blackhawks star Patrick "20 Cent" Kane over chump change.

Those were a lot of words to say what one word would have covered: Ka-ching!

A large distortion? Yeah, by the lawyer's obviously beat-up client - who repeatedly told TV stations, radio outlets and newspaper reporters what a thug Kane was.

Now this client suddenly seems willing to, um, negotiate with Kane concerning the level of punishment that actually was doled out by the hockey player.

What a country.

The Balder Truth

Well, Lou Piniella argued. He got ejected. His Cubbies got thumped in Denver. And then they got thumped again.

So much for the dopey theory that if Lou goes ballistic, the Cubs will break out of their slumps.

If baseball worked like that, don't you think more managers would get the heave-ho more often?

So please give it a rest, dopey theorists.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Finally got to see The Hangover on Monday. Verdict: I hadn't laughed so hard at a movie since Borat.

And if you think that's just because I'm a guy who is into stupid, sick-humor buddy movies, Mrs. N also laughed her keister off.

No, it's not for the kiddies. And yes, it is quite stupid. But there were very few 45-second stretches in which everybody in the theater wasn't downright delirious.

Roger Ebert gave it 3 1/2 stars ... and who am I to disagree?

3 1/2 bald heads for The Hangover.

But what about the one guy who was supposed to get traded?

^

The White Sox get Jake Peavy, who just a couple months earlier - before his body was falling apart - rejected a trade to those same Pale Hose because he really wanted to play for Cubs.

The Reds, apparently under delusions that they are one player away from contention, deal for Scott Rolen.

The Yankees think Jerry Hairston Jr. is the missing piece of the championship puzzle.

The Mariners, trying hard to break up a decent team, unload Jarrod Washburn.

The Indians and Pirates dump pretty much everybody who makes more than the average stockboy.

Fun, fun, fun. But here's my absolute favorite part of all the trading-deadline wheeling, dealing, intrigue and speculation:

About 200 players change teams (or so it seems) and the one guy who stays put is ...

Roy Freakin' Halladay!

Big trade news from Halladay Land

^

The Bald Truth

Well, it finally happened, folks: the big trade that Toronto fans had been anticipating for weeks.

Yes, Roy Halladay ... is getting another superstar in his city!!

Welcome to Canada, new Raptor Marco Belinelli.

Labatts for everybody!

And to think, all the Raptors had to give the Warriors was Devean George and a Skydome suite from which to watch every game Halladay pitches for the Blue Jays next season.

The Quote

"I wish I could cuss right now." - Hawk Harrelson, after his beloved White Sox lost again to the Twins at the Humpty Dome.

The Balder Truth

Jerry Reinsdorf is buying the Phoenix Coyotes, and you know what that means:

From North Carolina ... at right wing ... No. 45 ... Michael Jordan!

The Quote II

"Yeah, everything surprises me." - Cubs rookie Randy Wells when asked if anything about his success as a big-league pitcher has surprised him.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Congrats to the Phillies, who were able to get ace lefty Cliff Lee from the Indians without giving up any of the big-time prospects Toronto demanded in any Roy Halladay deal.

And congrats to the Indians, too. They have acquired so many youngsters for the likes of Lee, CC Sabathia and Mark DeRosa that they already are the overwhelming favorite to win the 2010 College World Series.

T.O. ... as Voice of Reason?

^

The Bald Truth

Hold on ... I'm hyperventilating.

I ... can't ... catch ... my ... breath ...

OK. I'll just try to get this out of the way so I can relax.

It seems Terrell Owens and I agree on something important. And we don't just kind of agree a teeny bit, we are in complete agreement. Jeesh!

There. I said it. And I'm still alive.

T.O.'s subject du jour at Bills training camp Sunday was Michael Vick ... and here's what Owens had to say about reports that NFL commish Roger "The Sheriff" Goodell plans to suspend the ex-All-Pro/ex-con for the first four games of the season if and when some team signs Vick:

"I think he's done the time for what he's done. I don't think it's really fair for him to be suspended four more games. It's almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground. The guy's already suffered so much. And to add a four-game suspension on a two-year prison sentence, that's ridiculous."

Wow.

When the man's right, the man's right. Even if "kicking a dead horse" might not have been the best defense for Vick given PETA's disdain for him already.

Hey, I like that Goodell is taking a tough stance against some of these thugs. But when the law already has taken an extremely tough stance, why pile on? Why not let Vick try to make a living doing what he does best?

Michael Vick was mean - really, really, insidiously mean - to dogs. He deserved punishment. He got punished. But believe me, he will not be the worst guy earning a paycheck in the NFL this season.

As T.O. said: "I mean, there's a lot more guys around the league that have done far more worst things than that and gotten second chances."

Help! 

It's ... happening ... again. Must ... loosen ... collar ... 

The Quote

"I don't think we're gonna get any nicer articles written about us. But we're in first place, so you can't find a negative in that." - Milton Bradley, when asked what he thought about the Cubs taking the NL Central lead Sunday.

This is beautiful, no? In going out of his way to call the media negative, Bradley took the most positive subject possible and turned it into a negative.

If only he could have been more positive ... like the media!

(For more on Mr. Happy and the Cubs, check out the story I wrote for AP.)

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Over the next few days, the Blue Jays will face major pressure to accept an offer for Roy Halladay, but there is absolutely no reason for them to settle for anything short of an amazing, no-brainer of a deal.

Halladay is signed through the end of next season and, in today's dollars for a stud arm, he's even reasonably priced.

He is the best pitcher in the American League, maybe in baseball, and he's still in his prime. The Blue Jays have every right to expect big-time value in exchange.

Unless Halladay suffers some kind of catastrophic injury, the teams desperate for him now will still want him during the Winter Meetings or in spring training 2010 or at next year's trading deadline.

If the Jays get an offer they can't refuse, they shouldn't be afraid to trade him - and I don't think they are.

If GM J.P. Riccardi keeps getting offers he easily can refuse, however, he should keep Halladay, let loyal Jays fans enjoy Doc's pitching for the next couple of months and then see what happens during the offseason.

That's exactly the vibe Riccardi is sending as this year's deadline nears. If he's just bluffing, he's one heck of a poker player.

White Sox: Perfectly momentum-resistant

^

The Bald Truth

Game 1: Tigers 5, White Sox 1

Game 2: Tigers 4, White Sox 3

So much for Perfection-Fueled momentum!

Stat of the Day

The White Sox are 15-5 in games started by Mark Buehrle, 35-42 in games started by the less-perfect members of their rotation.

Solution: Let Mr. Perfect start every game.

The Balder Truth

Attention, President Obama! Attention, Lou Piniella!

The guy who made The Perfect Catch is DeWayne Wise ... as in "Hey, youse wise guys!" 

His name's not "Weiss." So stop calling him that!

Quote of the Day

"I guess if we're not scoring runs, then he hasta figure out a way to drive 'em in himself." - Reds manager Dusty Baker after Friday's starting pitcher, Aaron Harang, an .090 career batter, hit his first home run since high school in Cinci's loss to the Cubs.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

After crying poor despite their loyal fans filling their ballpark day after day, season after season, the Cardinals finally have gone on a shopping spree.

Matt Holliday has joined Julio Lugo and Mark DeRosa to surround Albert Pujols in the batting order. And in the first game with the new lineup, the Redbirds put an 8-spot on the Phillies.

Now, if only the Cards have a few pennies left over for Roy Halladay to join their rotation - and to give them a roster including both Halladay and Holliday. What a jolly holiday that would be, eh?

You know, spending billionaires' money is one of my favorite hobbies.

AL makes it count again ... and Blackhawks beam up Scotty's boy

^

The Bald Truth

An Oriole drives in the winning run against a Padre in an exhibition game to decide home-field advantage in the World Series.

Nice work, Bud!

Well, He Said He'd Bring Change

Was that a changeup lefty Barack Obama threw to Albert Pujols for the ceremonial first pitch before the All-Star Game? 

Or does this president simply have a noodle arm compared to Dubya's?

The Balder Truth

Wow, Stan Musial sure has an impressive list of accomplishments! Still, it's natural to wonder if his numbers would have been the same without all those steroids.

It's A Jolly Halladay

Neither the Cubs (with their slow sale and their possible bankruptcy) nor the White Sox (with their lower-than-projected attendance) are likely to feel rich enough to add Roy Halladay's big salary ... so here's an idea:

They BOTH can trade for the Blue Jays great, with Halladay getting to stay in Chicago from here on out because he'd only pitch in home games.

Hey, these rough economic times call for creative solutions.

It only will get unfair in the World Series. With the American League winning for the 855th straight year - This Time It Counts (Again)!! - the White Sox would get Halladay when they face the Cubs in Game 7.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

For better or worse, the Blackhawks officially are Scotty Bowman's team.

Last fall, in his first act as "senior adviser," he seniorly advised them to fire Denis Savard four games into the season. Now, he has gotten them to can Dale Tallon - who brought in all their great young talent - so his son Stan Bowman could be the new GM.

Asked what Stan Bowman brings to the job that Tallon didn't, owner Rocky Wirtz told the media: "He's 26, Dale is 58. We always want younger people."

Zounds! Methinks Tallon would have one hell of an age-discrimination suit had he not accepted a pile of hush money from Wirtz to stay on as an "adviser." (An extremely junior adviser.)

Given his love of youngsters in positions of power, Wirtz sure is giving a lot of latitude to Scotty Bowman, a septuagenarian whose Hall of Fame coaching career began back when NHL players really wore sweaters.

There is no question Scotty knows a lot about winning. With nine Stanley Cups, he's the Red Auerbach of hockey. 

And there's no question the Blackhawks are desperate. It's been so long since they've won it all, their last championship actually predates the start of Bowman's coaching career by six years!

Still, this all seems so sleazy, so knife-in-the-back, so beneath the actions of any respectable organization.

All I'll say is Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville had better watch his back. With Phil Jackson having just won his 10th NBA title to break a tie for the most in North American pro sports history, Scotty might be salivating for another turn behind the bench.

Fortunately for Scotty, he has an in with the new GM.

Fiery Lou burns Bradley

^

The Bald Truth

At about 1 o'clock, Lou Piniella was insisting that he hasn't lost his passion for the game even as his Cubbies have been sinking into a morass of mediocrity.

"I've got as much fire as I ever had!"

A few hours later, after Milton Bradley struck out (again), got mad (again) and started busting up the dugout (again), Lou confronted the $30 million hothead in the tunnel on the way to the clubhouse and sent Bradley packing. It was only the sixth inning.

Fire, meet gasoline.

"He threw his helmet and smashed a water cooler, water flying all over; I just told him to take his uniform off and go home. Followed him up to the clubhouse and we exchanged some words. I don't like those things to happen. I'm just of tired of watching them. This has been a common occurrence and I've looked the other way a lot, but I'm done with it."

A few minutes after that, Geo Soto smoked a pitch some 400 feet for the game-winning 3-run homer. Nice to see Geo smoking the baseball as opposed to, well, you know.

The Cubs held on to win, but not before Carlos "Latino Wild Thing" Marmol - the people's choice for closer - tried very hard to lose the game (as he usually does) and Kevin Gregg - the people's choice for any role but closer - nailed down the victory (as he all too often doesn't).

In other words, just another boring Cubs-White Sox clash.

The Miltie Mess could kill Pennant Push '09 before it ever really starts. He's hitting .237 with little pop, he plays right field only slightly better than I play golf, he's getting booed by the home fans, he's moody and his manager has lost respect for him. 

Piniella said he simply got sick of watching so many Cubs going ballistic in the dugout; Bradley has done it repeatedly, but Carlos Zambrano and Ryan Dempster also have been among the guilty. Would Lou have sent Mike Fontenot home if the little infielder had taken a bat to the cooler? Doubtful. 

So Bradley feels like an outsider in his own clubhouse ... and maybe those feelings are at least a little justified. 

Before Friday's game Bradley told Paul Sullivan, the Tribune's outstanding reporter, that he doesn't feel close to any of his teammates.

After the Cubs' 5-4 victory, Bradley's mates publicly supported him - mostly. Alfonso Soriano, another slumping slugger and one of the team's leaders, said this:

"He's a great guy. The only problem with him is his attitude sometimes. A lot of people don't like that, but that's him. I hope when he comes back he can help the team win. If he's not 100 percent to help the team, we don't need him."

Ready? Everybody sing: "We are fam-i-lee! As long as we don't count Mil-tie!"

You know, as families go, these guys are far more Soprano than Brady.

Remember This

Infamous irritant A.J. Pierzynski so often has been involved in big plays - especially in these intracity games, it seems - that we've come to expect huge hits and bizarre happenings.

Well, he doesn't always come through. And his work isn't always memorable.

After Latino Wild Thing pitched the Cubs into serious trouble in the eighth, Pierzynski strode to the plate against Sean Marshall. One pitch later, the Cubs turned an easy double play and the White Sox were toast.

Ozzie Guillen's blunt assessment: "Bad at-bat."

A.J. must have been thinking: Damn! Where was Michael Barrett when I needed him?

The Balder Truth

A bunch of us Chicago-chapter Baseball Writers Association of America members got together before the game. The topic: Should we draft a proposal asking the Hall of Fame to give the BBWAA guidance for dealing with juicers?

The verdict: thumbs down. (I was among those who spoke up for this majority decision.) 

Hall honchos already give us guidance, including "integrity" and "character" on the list of what we should be considering. So we should just trust our judgment, as we have successfully for decades.

If the Steroid Era results in several years of no new players getting in, so be it. 

Lou-ism of the Day

"I smoked dope one time in my life and it didn't do a damn thing for me and I never smoked it again."

This a few days after he said he didn't know the difference between steroids and reefer.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

"What To Do With Miltie?" is a most unpleasant problem for Piniella.

A much nicer problem - but one that still might cause migraines: What To Do with Jake?

Aramis Ramirez will be coming off the DL soon and Lou can't wait to put him back at 3B. The problem? That's where Jake Fox has been playing - and he has been by far the hottest hitter on a team desperate for offense. 

Fox, who tore up Triple-A pitching for two months, had three more hits Friday, including a homer and a double. He's at .395 and the ball is jumping off his bat.

Said Piniella: "I like his bat, put it that way, I really do. We'll see where we use it, but how can you not put his name in the lineup every time you have a chance?"

How, indeed?

Problem is, Fox can't play SS, 2B or CF. He had been a catcher once upon a time but long ago was deemed inadequate there. (Besides, Soto finally has started to hit now that he's stopped taking hits).

That leaves 3B, 1B, LF and RF.

Third, of course, belongs to Ramirez. First is Derrek Lee territory, and he's been the only other consistently good hitter lately. 

Soriano is not much of a LF and he's been bad at the plate for nearly two months. But he has unique skills, he has been known to get hot at a moment's notice, he is popular with his teammates, Lou likes him and he is guaranteed $100 million over the next 5 1/2 years.

Hmmm ... methinks another Miltie meltdown is coming soon. 

Understand this, Joe: Don't shoot the A-Roid messenger

^

The List

Eight observations at the baseball season's one-month mark:

1. Hey, Joe Girardi, the Yankees need you to manage your ballclub, not the news. You might or might not win doing the former, but you sure as hell won't win trying to do the latter.

Girardi spent far too much of his Sunday ripping into Selena Roberts for writing a book about Alex Rodriguez and the publishers of "A-Rod" for moving up the release date after some of the book's passages were leaked to a New York tabloid.

"It's interesting how the book date got moved up," Girardi told the rabid New York press corps. "I don't understand why someone would write a book like this anyway."

Oh, please. Joe is Northwestern educated. He's a smart guy. He knows exactly why this book was written.

For one, because A-Rod, the highest-paid athlete in the history of team sports, sullied his name, his employers and his sport by taking steroids and repeatedly lying about it. For another, because the book will sell and make money for the publisher and for Roberts, a talented Sports Illustrated writer.

You know, money. That's the same reason Rodriguez plays baseball instead of working as an administrative assistant for a non-profit organization. The same reason, by his own admission, that he took 'roids in the first place. The same reason Girardi works as a manager for the Steinbrenners instead of working as a stockboy for a family that owns a chain of shoe stores.

As for the book date getting moved up ... hello! Again, money. Strike while the fire is hot. In November, most ballparks will be cold, but that didn't stop MLB from pushing this year's World Series into November - because of money.

Among other things, Roberts' book alleges that A-Roid took performance-enhancers since joining the Yankees - after he swore on a stack of syringes that he stopped juicing before he left Texas for New York. The book also suggests he took steroids back in his high school days.

Surely, A-Roid vehemently denied these ridiculous allegations once they became public, right?

Uh, no. He just said he wouldn't talk about them. Best not to be caught in more lies, I suppose.

"A-Rod" is important to baseball's history. And it will be one of the top selling books this year.

Surely, Northwestern Joe does understand all of that.

2. Pitchers should not try to leg out bunt hits. Carlos Zambrano did just that - not only tried but succeeded. The cost, however, could be high. The Cubs ace hurt his hamstring and will miss some starts.

His manager defended him for his aggressiveness, and I get where Lou Piniella is coming from, but really? He wants his $90 million pitcher doing this in an early-May game - especially when said pitcher has so much power that Lou has used him as a pinch-hitter repeatedly this season?

Next time, Lou, tell Cra-Z to swing the bat.

3. Cito Gaston had a reputation as a "push-button manager" his first time around in Toronto. So when the Blue Jays fired him a few seasons after he led a powerhouse team to consecutive championships, no other team was willing to hire him for an entire decade. 

Now Gaston is back running the Blue Jays and they are in first place. Once again, they have a high-scoring lineup, as well as one of baseball's best pitchers in Roy Halladay.

It must at least be possible that the manager is doing something right, no?

4. It's time for the White Sox to thank Jose Contreras for everything he did back in 2005 and then present him with lovely parting gifts.

No team needs an 83-year-old pitcher with an 8.31 ERA.

No contending team does, anyway.

5. Toronto, Kansas City, Seattle, Florida, St. Louis.

Well, maybe some of us at least picked the Dodgers to take the NL West.

(Not me, of course, but some of us.)

6. And speaking of surprises: Jason Marquis ... Colorado Rockies ... 4-1 ... 3.31 ERA. The Cubbie and Redbird reject has almost half of his team's wins. Wow.

7. Here's something a little less shocking: Albert Pujols is the best hitter in baseball. Period.

Based on what I've seen - dropped throws, failed scoops and muffed grounders - Pujols' fielding at first base is a little overrated. 

But there is nothing overrated about the man's .356 average, 9 homers and 29 RBIs for a surprise first-place Cardinals club.

8. Based on the early evidence, there is not one great team in the majors this season.

More than just a few bad ones, though.

MLB's early surprises (and non-surprises)

^

Well, we've reached the two-week mark on the new baseball season and here's what's going on ...

BIGGEST SURPRISE (TEAM): Padres.

I'm not especially surprised that the Marlins, Mariners and Blue Jays lead their divisions. I predicted great improvement for the first two and the Jays have a lot of talent (as well as the misfortune of being in a stacked division). But the Padres? They made no secret that they were unloading salaries and playing for tomorrow. And yet here they are at 9-4. If they keep this up, they might be stuck keeping Jake Peavy, which would be a bummer for all the teams that want to get him at a bargain. Methinks they won't keep this up for too long, though.

BADDEST SURPRISE (TEAM): Phillies. 

There are plenty of candidates here, including the Red Sox, Yankees, Indians, Angels and Diamondbacks. Those teams, however, aren't the defending champions. The Phils even have struggled to beat the Nationals and Padres. Jimmy Rollins is batting .152, Brad Lidge has a 9.45 ERA and Cole Hamels can't get anybody out.

BIGGEST SURPRISE (PLAYER): Aaron Hill, Blue Jays.

He's among AL leaders in batting, homers, RBIs and hits. And given that I had to look up what his first name was when I saw all of those stats, that's pretty surprising.

BADDEST SURPRISE (PLAYER): Geovany Soto, Cubs and Alexei Ramirez, White Sox.

One was the runaway winner of the NL Rookie of the Year; the other was the runner-up for AL rookie honors. And now look at them. One is batting .105 and has been outplayed by his backup; the other is hitting .125 - considerably below his weight, which isn't an easy accomplishment for a human stick figure.

BIGGEST NO-DUH! (TEAM): Brewers.

If you thought this club - lacking a closer, lousy in the field and ravaged by the departures of two All-Star pitchers - could contend, you must have eaten hallucinogenic cheese curds. They're 4-8 for a reason.

BIGGEST NO-DUH! (PLAYER): Milton Bradley, Cubs.

Hey! Look who's hurt! Hey! Look who's getting in trouble with umpires! Hey! Look who's been suspended! What a shocker.

TWO-WEEK MVP (AL): Miguel Cabrera, Tigers.

When you get a hit every other at-bat and carry a mediocre team to a 7-5 record, you must be pretty valuable.

TWO-WEEK MVP (NL): Ryan Ludwick, Cardinals.

It isn't easy to upstage Albert Pujols - and he's doing it.

Cubs: "We'll have the usual, thank you"

^

The Bald Truth

Gee, is spring training over already? Why, it seems as though pitchers and catchers reported only a few millennia ago. 

I think Octo-Mom popped out a half-dozen more kids - and Madonna adopted them - since spring training started ... and yet Rich Harden still looks like he needs another month to get ready for the 20 or so starts he'll make this season for the Cubbies.

Anyway, the season has started with Sunday night's Phillies-Braves game (not to mention the White Sox's announcement that Monday's scheduled opener already has been rained/snowed/sleeted/frozen out), so let's finish the official BTB baseball predictions for 2009.

I'm already on record with my division winners: Both Chicago teams as well as the Phillies, Diamondbacks, Red Sox and Angels. The postseason field also will include the wild-card-winning Yankees and Dodgers.

In the first round of the playoffs: Red Sox over White Sox; Yankees over Angels; Phillies over Dodgers and Diamondbacks over Cubs in (of course) a three-game sweep. Because what is a Cubs postseason under Lou Piniella without a demoralizing, humiliating broom job at the hands of the NL West champion?

The Red Sox will top the Yankees in the ALCS while the Phillies handle the D-Backs to win another NL pennant. 

And for the third time in six years since becoming un-cursed, Boston wins the World Series.

Now for some individual awards:

AL MVP: Mark Teixeira, Yankees.

NL MVP: Albert Pujols, Cardinals.

AL Cy Young: Roy Halladay, Blue Jays.

NL Cy Young: Derek Lowe, Braves. (I wrote this before he humbled the Phillies on Sunday - honest!)

AL First Manager Fired: Ron Washington, Rangers (but Joe Girardi had better not have another lousy April in the Bronx).

NL First Manager Fired: Cecil Cooper, Astros (but Dusty Baker has to watch his back with Walt Jocketty now running the Reds).

The Balder Truth

After Michigan State impressively thrashed his UConn Huskies, it was interesting to hear Jim Calhoun get all introspective when it comes to his career. He might keep coaching, he might not, he'll let us know later.

Well, if he was going to get all deep and metaphysical, maybe he should think about his team not taking part in the time-honored tradition of cutting down the nets after it advanced to the Final Four by winning the West Regional. He said he and his lads simply wanted to wait until they got to cut down the nets after the national championship game.

That would have been like the Tampa Bay Rays not celebrating following each postseason round last season because they wanted to keep the champagne on ice until after the World Series.

One of baseball's fun traditions is the celebration after the clinching of a playoff berth and then again after each round. The champion gets to celebrate four times in a month. How cool! Cutting down the nets - after winning a conference title, a regional title and/or a national title - is every bit as cool.

The UConn players might never get another chance. And the way Calhoun was talking, he might have cut down his last net five years ago when he could have experienced the thrill again just last week. What a shame.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

What was that I said a few days ago? UConn vs. Villanova for the NCAA title? Ugh. Don't remind me.

Time for yet another mulligan!

First, I have to ask myself a question: How could I have picked anybody to beat North Carolina, clearly the best team in college basketball?

Sorry Tar Heels ... it's kiss-of-death time:

North Carolina 83, Michigan State 74.

Red Sox and Phillies: Beasts of Easts

^

What a great time of year to be a sports fan. 

College basketball decides its champion on the court. (Are you listening, NCAA football?) The NBA and NHL postseasons are about to start. (Reportedly, those leagues will crown champions sometime before September.) NFL teams are preparing for the draft. (Meanwhile, NFL players make court appearances and trade demands.)

Best of all, Opening Day approaches. (And I get to make a bunch of predictions that smart fans will summarily ignore before calling their bookies.)

Play ball!

AL EAST

1. Boston Red Sox: Now that they got rid of that cancer-causing loser, Manny Ramirez, the sky's the limit for this crew. And no matter what, the Sox know they can rely upon never-injured stalwarts such as J.D. Drew, David Ortiz and Josh Beckett. Seriously, given all that went wrong for the Red Sox last season, it's easy to forget that they won 95 games and got to the ALCS. As usual, they've assembled a powerful roster and a nice rotation, and Jonathan Papelbon has moved to the fore as the one guy I'd want on the mound in the ninth inning of a Game 7. 

2. New York Yankees: It's wonderful that the team is bringing back Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio to throw out the ceremonial first pitches at the new Yankee Stadium. And you thought Ted Williams' head was the only thing that had been cryogenically frozen all this time? For the Yankees to avoid the slow starts that have plagued them in recent years, they'll need dominant pitching in April, when pitching is supposed to dominate. With CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett (or is it C.C. and AJ?), they seem to be armed well enough to overcome the early absence of A-Roid Rodriguez. But just in case they do struggle early, maybe we should start the "What day will Joe Girardi get fired?" pool right now.

3. Tampa Bay Rays: Back in 1998, the Cubs sent Kerry Wood to the minors to start the season, leading then-Angels manager Terry Collins to say that if the Cubbies had five pitchers better than Wood, they were a cinch to win it all. And now here we are, 11 years later, and the Rays have sent 2008 postseason phenom David Price to the minors. P.S.: The Cubs didn't win it all in '98, and the Rays won't do so in '09 after coming oh so close last year. It's hard to imagine them being able to duplicate their 97-win success, isn't it? Well, Evan Longoria & Co. will get the chance to prove all of us wrong again. 

4. Toronto Blue Jays: Where's Joe Carter when you need him? Remember when the Yankees and Red Sox were just good enough to lose and Toronto ruled this division? Honest, kids! Ask your dads. The Blue Jays obviously remember ... how else to explain Cito Gaston's return as manager? What next? Ed Sprague at third base? The only way this team escapes fourth place is if Roy Halladay wins 35 games. If anyone can do it, he can.

5. Baltimore Orioles: With Felix Pie, Cesar Izturis, Rich Hill and Andy MacPhail, what could possibly go wrong?

NL EAST

1. Philadelphia Phillies: It was a rough season for Phillies fans because they didn't have nearly enough opportunities to boo their heroes in 2008 - especially in October. That trend figures to continue in '09. The Braves have better pitching depth, the Marlins might have a better lineup and the Mets have the division's top leadoff man and starting pitcher. Having said all that, it's the Phils who do everything well - as evidenced by the championship rings on their fingers. If Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Cole Hamels and their other studs stay healthy, Philly will contend for No. 1 in baseball again.

2. Florida Marlins: With their young, powerful lineup, no wonder tens of Marlins fans turn out at Dolphins Stadium every night! I doubt there are five better players in all of baseball right now than Hanley Ramirez, and he has plenty of support. If Ricky Nolasco, Josh Johnson, Chris Volstad and the team's other young pitchers continue to grow up, the Marlins could have the kind of special season their Tampa Bay neighbors had in '08. Florida won 84 games a year ago, so it's not an outrageous leap.

3. New York Mets: Their petition to have the season shortened to 150 games was denied, so I don't like the Mets' chances to avoid another heartbreaking choke-a-thon. With Jose Reyes at the top of the order and Johan Santana at the top of the rotation, with Carlos Beltran, David Wright and Carlos Delgado providing power and with newcomers Francisco Rodriguez and J.J. Putz anchoring an overhauled bullpen, the Mets would seem to have enough to win this division. Then again, they seemed to have enough in 2007 and 2008, too. Oh well, at least they have a new ballpark named after a failed bank going for them.

4. Atlanta Braves: They are delighted with new hurler Javier Vazquez, but those of us who caught his act on the South Side would caution Bobby Cox to avoid using Javy in any game that matters. Not that the Braves figure to have many of those down the stretch. Atlanta added Vazquez and Derek Lowe to an already decent staff, but age and offensive deficiencies make a .500 record a stretch.

5. Washington Nationals. See Adam Dunn hit a home run! See Adam Dunn strike out three times! Thanks for coming and drive home safely.

(Tomorrow: AL West and NL West.)