Taking a baseball mulligan

^

I was 2-2 in my first-round baseball predictions, picking the Tigers' upset of the Yankees and the Brewers' triumph over the D-Backs but not the Cards' stunner over the Phils. I also missed on my Rays-Rangers upset choice. Time to reload for the next round ...

I'm kind of glad the Rangers won Game 1 of the ALCS because now I won't appear to be a frontrunner when I pick the Tigers to win the series in 7 games.

Meanwhile, things already have gotten interesting in the NLCS, with Brewers Game 1 starter Zack Greinke calling Chris Carpenter a phony and the Cardinals criticizing the Brew Crew for being too demonstrative after every hit or good pitch. Carpenter likely will seem all-too-real on the mound, so the Brewers might want to wrap up the series before Carpenter can start a seventh game. It says here they will: Brew Crew in 6.

Gotta go now and eat some more after having fasted for Yom Kippur -- or as one of my gentile friends used to call it: "Instant Lent."

Ciao. Or in my case ... chow.

^

Who'da thunk it? Turns out that reality is the best Reality TV

^

Wow! What a night of baseball!

Just remember one thing: While you are ripping into the Red Sox and Braves for two of the biggest choke-jobs in the history of sports, don't forget to give a big thumbs up to the Rays and Cardinals for their amazing finishes.

See, this is why we don't need no stinkin' reality TV. Sports is the original reality TV ... and it's 100 times better than all of the pretenders.

Now where was I? Oh, yeah ...

How about those Red Sox and Braves? What a bunch of freakin' chokers!

-------

And now the postseason predictions:

ALDS: Tigers over Yankees in 5 ... Rays over Rangers in 4. The AL has been weird all season, so why stop now?

NLDS: Phillies over Cardinals in 4 ... Brewers over Diamondbacks in 4. Going with chalk in the NL.

ALCS: Tigers over Rays in 6. Too much Verlander and Cabrera.

NLCS: Phillies over Brewers in 6. Classic matchup of pitching vs. pop, and -- surprise! -- pitching wins.

WORLD SERIES: Phillies over Tigers in 6. The best team prevails ... as long as the bullpen does its job.

^

Today's High Five

^
5. Headline you don't expect to see at Notre Dame:

Crist Benched.

I mean ... Jesus! ... is nothing sacred?

4. Cubbie closer Carlos Marmol said a seventh-inning rain delay was partly to blame for his troubles two innings later, when he gave up a hit, walked two batters and then served up Derrek Lee's go-ahead grand slam.

"I don’t make excuses," Marmol said, pausing for a second before making his excuse. "But the mound was a little slippery."

I guess the Wrigley mound must have gotten completely unslippery in the bottom of the ninth, when Pirates closer Joel Hanrahan retired the Cubs 1-2-3.

Lee had just come off the DL, where he had been since Marmol broke his hand with a pitch on Aug. 10. That led to this quote from Pirates manager Clint Hurdle, which perfectly summarizes why many of us prefer sports to real life:

"Isn’t it amazing? Sometimes in sports, you can’t write the script. The game plays out and gives you stories you never would have written up."

3. LSU's QB has been suspended for his alleged involvement in a bar fight. One of his top receivers has been suspended due to a possible NCAA infraction. And yet the Tigers shook off the "distractions" to beat Oregon in a rare Week 1 college-football battle that actually mattered.

One of my pet peeves about the media always has been the whole Distractions Thing.

What some of my colleagues obviously don't understand is that once the game starts, offensive linemen aren't saying: "I'd make this block but I can't stop thinking about our receiver." A Cardinals batter trying to get a hit off Roy Halladay doesn't have Albert Pujols' contract situation on his mind. When Kobe Bryant drives to the hoop, he isn't thinking about some goofy Ron Artest quote from four days earlier.

The game starts ... and athletes just play. If they were easily distracted, they wouldn't be high-level athletes.

2. Cubbie bum-in-the-making Tyler Colvin, batting .145, wants to be Adam Dunn when he grows up.

As for Dunn's team ... could there have been a better way for the White Sox to officially bow out of AL Central contention than by blowing a seven-run lead and losing to the first-place Tigers?

Thanks for pretending all season long, kids.

1. LSU's impressive win over Oregon took place at spacious, luxurious Cowboys Stadium, but I doubt LSU players spent any time daydreaming about their possible NFL careers.

You know, nobody likes to contemplate a pay cut.
^

600 big flies for a really good guy

^
Congrats on No. 600 to Jim Thome, one my favorite athletes I've ever covered.

Jim didn't need 600 to validate anything. He already had Hall of Fame enshrinement in the bag. Still, it sure is a nice exclamation point on a superb career for one of the true good guys ever to play professional sports.

Baseball -- and society, for that matter -- could use a lot more Jim Thomes.
^

Today's High Five

^
5. Thank goodness Timothy Geithner is staying on as Treasury secretary. I mean, without him, America would be having a rough time financially instead of going through such robust growth.

4. So, Stevie Williams beat Tiger Woods. Pretty interesting stuff. Oh, and I hear Adam Scott was involved somehow, too.

3. Even Cubbie fans can't be gullible enough to have gotten excited about that 7-game winning streak, right? Right?

2. Let's see: Hunter Pence is a talented, popular, 28-year-old, prime-of-his-career-still-to-come outfielder who can't be a free agent until 2014. I'm still trying to figure out why the Astros felt they needed to trade him to the Phillies or anybody else. Dumping Carlos Lee and his bloated contract (and bloated body), I could have understood. But isn't Pence just the kind of player such a franchise should build around?

1. No more AAA for the U.S.A.? Now who are we gonna call when we get a flat tire or need a TripTik?
^

Like it or not, La Russa wins his way

^
First, Scott Rolen.

Then, Jim Edmonds.

Now, Colby Rasmus.

And probably a few other guys I can't think of off the top of my head.

I don't want to say Tony La Russa can be a less-than-pleasant manager to play for, but ... OK, I guess I do want to say it.

He's not the best for media mopes, either. The one time I had a chance to observe him at length came in March 2008, when I covered a week of Cardinals spring training in Florida. The St. Louis press corps had to tiptoe around every topic, afraid to step on the eggshell that is Tony's massive, overly sensitive ego.

The beat guys from the Post-Dispatch managed to hang in there pretty well, but some of the others, including the local MLB.com guy, felt they had to ask questions in a certain way to avoid feeling the skipper's wrath.

"Um, Tony, we know you are the greatest manager ever and we'd never second-guess you for an instant, but could you please explain why you might consider batting Skip Schumacher leadoff ... "

OK, maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but you get my drift.

Even though La Russa had seen me around the ballpark for years, he really had no clue who I was. And he didn't particularly care. The third or fourth day I was there in Florida, it was a little chilly so I was wearing my Marquette pullover. La Russa mentioned he had become friendly with then-MU coach Tom Crean. This led to a 5-minute conversation between us and, for the rest of the week, Tony didn't get pissed at me just for asking routine questions.

All in all, though, I thought he was quite a jerk, and I wasn't the least bit surprised he was in the Bobby Knight-Bill Parcells circle of friends.

Then again, the Cardinals shouldn't care if the media or even the players like their manager. No matter the makeup of the roster, La Russa almost always keeps the team competitive.

One need not be a jerk to be a good manager -- as Joe Torre, Terry Francona, Bob Lemon and numerous others have proven -- but given the choice of a jerk who wins or a lovable lug who loses, any intelligent owner would take the former.

Even if it occasionally results in a good player taking a hike.
^

Today's High 5

^
5. NFL commish Roger Goodell loves to crack down big-time on players, even those who have paid their debts to society after acts that have nothing to do with football. Then, when he had the chance to lay down the law against that Jets strength coach who intentionally tripped a defenseless Dolphins player during a game, Goodell barely delivered a slap on the wrist. Instead of getting fired and barred from working in the NFL again - a punishment that would have fit a heinous football crime - the guy got suspended for a few games. Talk about a pathetic double-standard.

4. Thanks to the popped pimple that is the Metrodome, the Bears and Vikings will play next Monday at the University of Minnesota's new field. Beautiful. Two bad cold-weather teams forced to play in miserable conditions just a mile or so away from the domed stadium that turned the Viqueens into wimps in poor weather. Somehow poetic, no?

3. Is anybody with even half a brain still wondering why the Vikings didn't bench Brett Favre to play Tarvaris Jackson?

2. No matter what one thinks of Favre, his consecutive-games streak truly was one of the great accomplishments in sports history. Even if he needed performance-enhancing drugs (illegally obtained painkillers) to keep it going over the years.

1. Even Philly fans will have trouble booing Cliff Lee after he accepted significantly less - in both money and security - from their team while rejecting the Yankees and Rangers. Lee is a hero in Philly ... and he's still filthy, stinkin' rich. Makes you wonder why more athletes don't do this kind of thing.
^

Today's High 5 - Postseason Baseball Edition

^
5. Gotta admit I'm pulling for the Twins - and not just because their manager, Ron Gardenhire, is an actual human being. (Unlike Tom Kelly, the royal rectum I had to cover during my years at AP in Minneapolis.)

No, I'd like the Twins to still be playing in November just so I can see Bud Selig shivering in a box seat as he dodges snowflakes and pretends to enjoy himself at Target Field. I know ... I'm a little warped.

Now, reality: It's hard to envision the Twins getting past the Yankees. For all of their talent, these Yankees are not invincible, mostly because of suspect starting pitching. If the Twins were healthy - if Justin Morneau were available to launch a couple of HRs at Yankee Stadium - I might go with the Twins. But he's not, so he won't.

Yankees in 4.

4. It's Rays vs. Rangers in the Who Cares Series. Not even Tampa/St. Pete fans really care, though I suspect they'll pretend they do and show up just because it's the postseason.

Although the Rangers can flat-out mash and Cliff Lee gives them a legitimate horse, the Rays simply are better. Better rotation, better bullpen, better direction, better fundamentals, better speed, better defense.

Rays in 4.

3. The Reds are a pretty cool story and I really enjoyed covering Dusty Baker during his time in Cubbieland. Still, for everything Cinci has, the Phillies have more.

Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels? That's almost unfair. Not to mention all of that recent postseason experience - and history of postseason success - to carry them if things get a little dicey. (Though I'm saying it won't.)

Phillies in 3.

2. The Phillies don't even have the most feared arms in the playoffs. The Giants do.

Healthy, maybe the Braves steal a couple of games. Banged-up as they are, it's hard to envision them giving Bobby Cox a very satisfying sendoff.

Giants in 4.

1. As for the World Series ...

I'm saying Rays over Phils in a flip-flop of '08.

Yep, it'll be really something when tens of fans show up for the ticker-tape parade through downtown St. Pete.
^

Tase this

^

I am outraged - OUTRAGED! - about that Philly cop using a Taser to subdue that freckle-faced young lad who was just trying to have fun running around the field.

Taser? Really? I mean, the cop should be suspended for not using his Glock on this moron!

Joining forces with a juggernaut

^

The Bald Truth

OK, folks, here's a little more foreplay ...

Within the next day or three or five, The Baldest Truth will be a regular feature on ChicagoNow, Tribune Co.'s new blog site.

You will need to go to a new address, which I will provide here as soon as my stuff is up and running. Until then, do feel free to check out the site - CLICK HERE - if for no other reason than to see how much better it will be after I start posting there. (That's a joke, ChicagoNow folks; please take it as such.)

I'm not doing this for the money, because there won't be much of it coming my way. I'll be getting paid mostly by the pageview, so be sure to tell your friends and families (and families of friends) - especially Chicago-area peeps, because local hits count more toward my bottom line.

Nor am I doing this for the exposure. I've been at this so long, all that ego-driven stuff has become secondary.

Mostly, I'm doing it because I've got abso-freakin'-lutely nuthin' better to do! Wait ... I didn't really say that ...

Actually, I'm doing it because it's a cool opportunity for a guy who has been a newspaper hack for most of his life.

It's a chance to join forces on ChicagoNow with media personalities such as Len Kasper, Bob Brenly, David Kaplan, Chet Coppock and Bruce Wolf as well as jock/bloggers like Black Jack McDowell and Adewale Ogunleye.

And it's a natural next progression given that The Baldest Truth has been up and running for nearly three years.

Yes, it really has been that long. I started blogging back when the Bears were on their way to the Super Bowl and before the Copleys sold me and my colleagues into the debt cesspool that is GateHouse Media.

So keep an eye out for The Baldest Truth's grand ChicagoNow unveiling by checking back here early and often.

Phew! I need a cigarette. Was it good for you, too?

The Balder Truth

Nice to see that first-base ump Brian Gorman brought his A-game to the World Series.

Hey, he succeeded at getting three outs on only two blown calls.

Take that, Phil Cuzzi!

THE BALDEST TRUTH

As a guy who regularly pokes fun at Bobby Knight - after all, the man is such a large, stationary target - I also have to give him one of these (I'm doing a thumbs-up sign) when he does the right thing.

Somewhere, somebody probably is ripping The General for declining to attend his induction into Indiana's Athletic Hall of Fame, but they shouldn't. Knight is absolutely right in believing his appearance would be a huge sideshow - and a major distraction for the six other inductees.

So kudos, Bobby. You are the one of the five classiest guys ever to choke Neil Reed.

Phil goes for 11, Yanks go for 27

^

The Bald Truth

This seems hard to believe, but my unimpeachable source swears it's true:

Now that he has received his 10th NBA championship ring and with his Lakers favored to win it all again, Phil Jackson has contacted Antonio Alfonseca to learn the secret behind growing a sixth finger on each hand.

The Balder Truth

Yes, Larry Johnson twice tweeted gay slurs. Yes, he told a sportswriter who asked about the tweets to "get your faggot ass out of here." Yes, in a prepared statement issued by his agent, the Chiefs' All-Pro-turned-All-Stiff has said he was sorry because "I did not intend to offend anyone." Yes, has been told by the team to take a hike.

And yes, I am outraged!

I mean, there once was a time when an insincere apology meant something.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Well, it's World Series time, which means it's time to break down how the Yankees and Phillies stack up against each other.*

*All this is contingent on the umps blowing a maximum of two calls per game.

1B: Mark Teixeira is a great fielder and he led the AL in HR and RBI, but, as Ryan Howard was heard to say: "I got chunks of guys like you in my stool!" Advantage ... Phillies

2B: Robinson Cano has become a good all-around player again but he's no Chase Utley. Unless, of course, Utley's right arm continues doing its Steve Sax/Chuck Knoblauch imitation. For argument's sake, let's figure that Chase will be all right. Advantage ... Phillies

3B: Pedro Feliz doesn't put up the kind of numbers Alex Rodriguez does. Duh! A-Rod's HGH is twice as good as any stuff Feliz can afford! Advantage ... Yankees

SS: We'll assume Jimmy Rollins is past getting benched for lack of hustle. Still, how can anybody pick against Derek Jeter, whose fundamentally perfect play is the sole reason the Yankees have won 26 championships? Gehrig Schmehrig! Advantage ... Yankees

LF: Even after four years in pinstripes, Johnny Damon still looks funny with cropped hair and a clean face. That alone would have cost him in a contest against Raul Ibanez, but Ben Francisco will be getting major PT in left while Ibanez does the DH thing. Advantage ... Yankees

CF: Melky Cabrera is OK, I guess, but Shane Victorino's very name spells "victori, no?" Advantage ... Phillies

RF: Nick Swisher being lost at the plate must feel like deja vu to White Sox fans. Meanwhile, Jayson Werth is the best ballplayer from Springfield since Homer Simpson in his prime. Advantage ... Phillies

C: With his big-game experience, Jorge Posada would seem the obvious choice. But A.J. Burnett will throw only to banjo-hitting Jose Molina. For the second straight postseason, Carlos Ruiz has stepped into the phone booth and turned into SuperCatcher. Or at least he would have if there were phone booths any more. Advantage ... Phillies

DH: When Ibanez is here, he's a nice match for Hideki Matsui. When it's Matt Stairs or Greg Dobbs, not so much. And in the three games in Philly, Godzilla will give the Yankees the most dangerous pinch-hitter in the series. Advantage ... Yankees

SP: The World Series already is stretched out, and a few rain days would make it possible for CC Sabathia and Cliff Lee to start a half-dozen times each. (Thank you, Cleveland!) Just because Pedro Martinez would drill Babe Ruth in the ass, it doesn't mean Pedrold should be the No. 2 pitcher for a championship team. Advantage ... Yankees

RP: Brad Lidge makes my head explode, so I can only imagine what he does to the phine pholks of Philly. He's great ... he's crap ... he's great ... he's crap. And right now, he's, um, who the hell knows? Then there's Mariano Rivera. About him, everybody the hell knows. Advantage ... Yankees

Prediction: It'll be close, as it should be. This ain't the BCS, ya know.

Yankees in 7.

My new deal and La Russa's new coach

^

The Bald Truth

Within a few days, The Baldest Truth will be joining the family of a major media company. I will provide details as soon as things are finalized.

Yes, if you're like me, you're so excited you can barely keep down the 2 1/2 pounds of bacon you had for breakfast!

The Balder Truth

For underdog lovers everywhere, it sure was heartwarming to see those freckle-faced lads Alex Rodriguez, Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter hugging and squealing like schoolgirls after they and the rest of their underpaid, no-name New York crew won the AL pennant.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Sources close to Tony La Russa's ego say Jose Canseco will be the Cardinals' new strength and conditioning coach.

Yankee fundamentals, Denver duds and baseball math

^

The Bald Truth

The Yankees ended up losing an inning later, but there was a play in the bottom of the 10th at Anaheim in which left fielder Johnny Damon backed up Mariano Rivera's errant throw to third base. And as I watched Damon's fundamentally perfect, game-saving play, I said to myself:

"You know, I'm sure Alfonso Soriano would have done the exact same thing."

The List

Three-word descriptions for the Broncos' throwback unis:

5. Butt Freakin' Fuggly.

4. Musta Lost Bet.

3. World Of Mustards.

2. Thift Store Rejects.

1. Baby Has Diarrhea.

The Balder Truth

Jeff Jordan is back ... and just in time for the Illini.

Finally, somebody decent to play quarterback!

Mile High Surprise

What? Balloon Boy was a hoax? The next thing you're gonna tell me is that Kyle Orton's Broncos are 6-0.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Jonathan Broxton 99 mph heater to the plate + Jimmy Rollins 100 mph laser to right-center field = Phillies 5, Dodgers 4.

See? The new math isn't all that hard to understand.

Some real bald baseball predictions

^

The Bald Truth

For all those who somehow missed that Wednesday was Bald and Free Day - really; you can look it up! - I, as Grand Pooh-bald, have extended the event through the end of the week.

So now that you have several more days, feel free to hug your favorite bald dude ... or dudette, if Natalie Portman, Sinead O'Connor or Demi Moore happen to be around.

The Balder Truth

Wow, I remember the Rams' Rush Limbaugh Era as if it were just yesterday.

Wait ... it was just yesterday.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

For all the talk about a possible Freeway Series out in La-La-Land, why do I get the feeling we're going to see a Nothing-Free-About-It I-95 Series instead?

Well, because the Yankees and Phillies are better than the Angels and Dodgers, that's why.

Of course, that doesn't always matter. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to see the fundamentally sound, motivated-by-tragedy Angels nibbling CC Sabathia until he weighs only 300 pounds and shutting down A-Roid & Co. Nor does it take much imagination to see Manny being vintage Manny and the good Dodgers pitching making life tough on the Phils.

But I'm not letting my imagination run wild here. I'm going with chalk.

This just feels like the Yankees' year. They have more great players than any other team, and those great players have been playing especially well lately. Yankees in 6.

And as much as I want to see Jim Thome do some DH-ing in the World Series, his Dodgers simply will not be able to keep up with the balanced Philly lineup. I'm going to put a little caveat out here: As long as Brad Lidge isn't terrible, Phillies in 6.

Mark Reynolds: King of Swing (& Miss)

^
I'm a big fan of baseball's fantastic fanner.

For years, whenever a ballplayer would get near a dubious record - most strikeouts, most losses, most cork in the bat - either he, his manager or both would decide the player had developed a severe case of Wuss-itis and he would take a seat on the bench for the rest of the season.

Mustn't set a negative record that would scar the poor baby for life, right?

Well, Mark Reynolds has realized what most intelligent observers have known for years: a strikeout is just another out.

Reynolds, the Diamondbacks'sensational slugger, actually seems to embrace the notion that he is today's King of Swing (& Miss).

Reynolds fanned four more times Wednesday, giving him 200 for the second straight year. In 2008, he became the first ever to reach that mark, finishing with 204. He'll leave that number in the dust in 2009.

And you know what? Every manager in baseball would love to have a third baseman who just turned 26 and hits for power (42 HR), gets on base (.363 OBP), drives in runs (97 RBI), gets extra-base hits (.571 SLG), steals bases (24) and has a decent batting average (.272).

Reynolds even is a good enough athlete that he could play another position if a team had somebody else to play third.

Were Arizona a contender, Reynolds would be one of the favorites to finish second in the MVP race to Albert Pujols, who has had the award locked up since mid-April.

Yes, the kid fans a lot. As did Mickey Mantle, Reggie Jackson, Sammy Sosa, Jim Thome, Willie Stargell, Bobby Bonds, Mike Schmidt and numerous other all-time greats.

Striking out is better than hitting into a double play. And Mark Reynolds is better than most power hitters (and most third baseman) out there.

Big trade news from Halladay Land

^

The Bald Truth

Well, it finally happened, folks: the big trade that Toronto fans had been anticipating for weeks.

Yes, Roy Halladay ... is getting another superstar in his city!!

Welcome to Canada, new Raptor Marco Belinelli.

Labatts for everybody!

And to think, all the Raptors had to give the Warriors was Devean George and a Skydome suite from which to watch every game Halladay pitches for the Blue Jays next season.

The Quote

"I wish I could cuss right now." - Hawk Harrelson, after his beloved White Sox lost again to the Twins at the Humpty Dome.

The Balder Truth

Jerry Reinsdorf is buying the Phoenix Coyotes, and you know what that means:

From North Carolina ... at right wing ... No. 45 ... Michael Jordan!

The Quote II

"Yeah, everything surprises me." - Cubs rookie Randy Wells when asked if anything about his success as a big-league pitcher has surprised him.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Congrats to the Phillies, who were able to get ace lefty Cliff Lee from the Indians without giving up any of the big-time prospects Toronto demanded in any Roy Halladay deal.

And congrats to the Indians, too. They have acquired so many youngsters for the likes of Lee, CC Sabathia and Mark DeRosa that they already are the overwhelming favorite to win the 2010 College World Series.

Rose isn't Selig's bud

^

The Bald Truth

Despite reports to the contrary, don't bet on Bud Selig ever reinstating Pete Rose. 

Selig would rather make do with 98 percent of his $18 million salary (so MLB.com could pay its interns) than lift the ban on Gamblin' Pete.

Rose has cheated and lied and broken sacred rules and acted the fool, and he's done much of it on Selig's watch. Bud isn't about to reward Pete by letting him have a shot at the Hall of Fame.

Still, I say they are separate issues. 

Gamblin' Pete shouldn't be allowed anywhere near baseball now. Not as a manager, not as a GM, not as a coach, not as an ambassador.

But Charlie Hustle should be in the Hall for his accomplishments as a player. There has been no proof that Rose ever gambled on baseball during his playing days, and he certainly was an all-time great.

At the same time, I have little sympathy for Pete Rose. He made his bed ... and he called his bookie from it.

The Balder Truth

Apparently, $136 Million Cubbie Alfonso Soriano isn't allergic to the No. 6 spot after all.

Everybody has known forever that the man isn't a leadoff hitter. And now he's killing the ball from the 6-hole - including Monday's game-winning grand slam against the 'Stros.

Looking back on it now, you wonder what Lou Piniella was so afraid of for 2 1/2 years.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

I set up my Facebook account Monday afternoon and I'm still trying to decide if I like it or hate it. 

Sure, it feels good to be at least up to 2007 levels of technology. But who needs that many so-called friends? I haven't been this popular since I coated myself with kibble and went to the dog pound.

So please don't take it personally if I don't accept you as a friend. I mean, I don't take it personally that my kids have rejected my i-friendship.

"Facebook," Ben informed me, "isn't for old dudes like you."

Ouch.

T.O. ... as Voice of Reason?

^

The Bald Truth

Hold on ... I'm hyperventilating.

I ... can't ... catch ... my ... breath ...

OK. I'll just try to get this out of the way so I can relax.

It seems Terrell Owens and I agree on something important. And we don't just kind of agree a teeny bit, we are in complete agreement. Jeesh!

There. I said it. And I'm still alive.

T.O.'s subject du jour at Bills training camp Sunday was Michael Vick ... and here's what Owens had to say about reports that NFL commish Roger "The Sheriff" Goodell plans to suspend the ex-All-Pro/ex-con for the first four games of the season if and when some team signs Vick:

"I think he's done the time for what he's done. I don't think it's really fair for him to be suspended four more games. It's almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground. The guy's already suffered so much. And to add a four-game suspension on a two-year prison sentence, that's ridiculous."

Wow.

When the man's right, the man's right. Even if "kicking a dead horse" might not have been the best defense for Vick given PETA's disdain for him already.

Hey, I like that Goodell is taking a tough stance against some of these thugs. But when the law already has taken an extremely tough stance, why pile on? Why not let Vick try to make a living doing what he does best?

Michael Vick was mean - really, really, insidiously mean - to dogs. He deserved punishment. He got punished. But believe me, he will not be the worst guy earning a paycheck in the NFL this season.

As T.O. said: "I mean, there's a lot more guys around the league that have done far more worst things than that and gotten second chances."

Help! 

It's ... happening ... again. Must ... loosen ... collar ... 

The Quote

"I don't think we're gonna get any nicer articles written about us. But we're in first place, so you can't find a negative in that." - Milton Bradley, when asked what he thought about the Cubs taking the NL Central lead Sunday.

This is beautiful, no? In going out of his way to call the media negative, Bradley took the most positive subject possible and turned it into a negative.

If only he could have been more positive ... like the media!

(For more on Mr. Happy and the Cubs, check out the story I wrote for AP.)

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Over the next few days, the Blue Jays will face major pressure to accept an offer for Roy Halladay, but there is absolutely no reason for them to settle for anything short of an amazing, no-brainer of a deal.

Halladay is signed through the end of next season and, in today's dollars for a stud arm, he's even reasonably priced.

He is the best pitcher in the American League, maybe in baseball, and he's still in his prime. The Blue Jays have every right to expect big-time value in exchange.

Unless Halladay suffers some kind of catastrophic injury, the teams desperate for him now will still want him during the Winter Meetings or in spring training 2010 or at next year's trading deadline.

If the Jays get an offer they can't refuse, they shouldn't be afraid to trade him - and I don't think they are.

If GM J.P. Riccardi keeps getting offers he easily can refuse, however, he should keep Halladay, let loyal Jays fans enjoy Doc's pitching for the next couple of months and then see what happens during the offseason.

That's exactly the vibe Riccardi is sending as this year's deadline nears. If he's just bluffing, he's one heck of a poker player.

Give 'em 1 minute, they'll give you 2 L's

^

The Bald Truth

So I was watching Dennis Leary's Rescue Me with my wife when we put the show on pause to check out what was happening in Tuesday night's Chicago ballgames.

Within a 60-second span, Gordon Beckham grounded weakly to the pitcher with the tying run on base to end the White Sox's come-from-ahead loss to the Rays and The Great Jeff Samardzija served up Jayson Werth's 13th-inning homer to cap the Cubs' loss to the Phillies.

 

And then my wife and I switched back to Rescue Me, distracted only by the realization that our fine city is a mere three months away from yet another Cubs-Sox World Series.

Once Upon A Time

Hey, didn't Bobby Jenks used to be more than just another bad reliever with a goofy beard?

The Balder Truth

Now that they're 1-6 in games in which Mark DeRosa has played, the Cardinals must be trying to figure out what they need to do to get him back on the Cubs.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Cool story by Yahoo! football writer Michael Silver, who tells of a phone conversation he had with Chad Ochounodostrescuatrocinco. Apparently, during a Lakers game last spring, the former Chad Johnson had a sit-down with Denzel Washington - who told Chad to stop being such a tool.

"He wasn't being gentle," C.O. told Silver. "He said, 'You know what? You need to straighten up and stop fussin' about something you have no control over. Make it fun again because it sure looks better when you do it that way.' That's all I needed to hear, especially from somebody like him."

By all means! After you're done getting real coaches fired, make sure you pay attention to a make-believe coach.

My sources tell me that Denzel's final words to C.O. were this:

"Oh, and remember the Titans!"

Hoping Erin Andrews gets justice

^

The Bald Truth

I am disgusted by the pervert lowlife who videotaped a naked Erin Andrews through the peephole in her hotel room and then posted the crapola on the Internet last week.

Although I wrote a column about the ESPN reporter last year that caused quite a stir in the blogosphere - if you google my name, dozens of posts relate to that column and its aftermath - I have no animosity toward her and certainly wouldn't have wished this upon her or anybody else.

Through her attorney, Andrews has said she will bring civil and criminal charges against this sick creep, if he (or she?) is ever identified. Here's hoping this scumbag gets caught and goes to jail, because this is nothing short of sexual assault. 

Unfortunately, one of the major downsides of the Internet is the damage that nameless, faceless idiots can cause.

By the way, I haven't seen this video and I don't intend to try to find it.

The List

In honor of the 10-year anniversary of Jean Van de Velde's epic choke (and the one-day anniversary of a somewhat less epic gag job by Tom Watson), here are the five biggest chokes I've covered during my 27-year sportswriting career:

5. The University of Minnesota football team blows a 31-0 second-quarter lead and loses 41-37 to Ohio State in 1989.

4. After Scottie Pippen tells him, "Remember, the Mailman doesn't deliver on Sundays," Karl Malone misses two free throws with 9 seconds to go in a tie game. The Bulls go on to win Game 1 of the 1997 NBA Finals (and, eventually, the series).

3. The 2004 Cubs, preseason World Series favorites, lose seven of eight games down the stretch - including five by one run - turning a 2 1/2-game lead over Houston in the wild-card race to a 3-game deficit.

2. Arizona blows a 15-point lead with 4 minutes to go and loses to Illinois in the NCAA Regional Final. Bruce Weber's Illini do just about everything right ... thanks in great part to the utter panic of Lute Olson's Wildcats.

1. Five outs away from their first World Series appearance in 58 years, the Cubs throw away a 3-0 lead over the Florida Marlins in Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS. It's known as "the Bartman game," but the choking Cubs players - not any fan - conspired to create the most amazing, surreal half-hour of sports I've ever witnessed.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

And speaking of the Cubs, they're not playing the Nationals any more ... and so their four-game winning streak is history.

This is looking like a team that's nowhere near good enough to be in position to choke away a playoff spot at the end of the season.

Then again, is there any NL Central team good enough to win this thing?