Hey, look who had more of a "starring" role in The Last Dance than at least a dozen Bulls players did

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You know, it sure was nice that relative nobodies such as Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman and Phil Jackson could follow my lead so we could work together to give sports fans the awesome viewing experience that was ESPN's The Last Dance.

Here I am, about 43 minutes into Episode 3, standing on the periphery of a January 1998 locker-room scrum around Jordan, dutifully taking notes.

ESPN

If you're reading this (and you are), you almost surely know that I was a newspaper guy back then. At the time of that 10-second cameo, I was a reporter for The Associated Press, but just a couple months later I started my columnist career for Copley Newspapers.

Anyway, I still own that green Faconnable shirt, which is now older than at least a half-dozen players on the current Bulls roster.

I made two more "appearances" in the series ... which means I had more air time than Jason Caffey, Dickey Simpkins, Joe Kleine, Robert Parish, Bison Dele, James Edwards, Keith Booth, Rusty LaRue and David Vaughn ... combined!

About 42 minutes into Episode 8, as Jordan was just starting to sit down at his post-game press conference following the Bulls' 1996 Eastern Conference Finals sweep of the Magic, I asked the opening question:

"Was it extra sweet beating Orlando for you? That had been a motivating thing for you for over a year now."

Jordan's answer: "Because of last year, the number change, and (Nick Anderson saying) 45 didn't look like 23, and whatever. But we all were disappointed, and we came back to redeem ourselves as a unit. I think we did that - effectively."

And then about 16 minutes into the series finale, I asked Michael a long (probably too long) question after the Bulls won Game 4 of the NBA Finals to move within one win of Title No. 6:

"What are your thoughts, that it might not only be your last game with the Bulls but your last game ever? You know, you're sitting on a pedestal here, and obviously it's the thing that the world wants to know."

Jordan's response: "Well, I mean, the world basically is gonna hafta wait and see what happens. The job is not done, so let's not celebrate yet."

He ended up being right; the Bulls actually lost Game 5 at home and had to go back to Utah, where they clinched No. 6 after Michael stole the ball from Karl Malone, calmly dribbled down to the offensive end, found his spot, gave Bryon Russell a little shove, swished the championship-winning jumper and then held his follow-through extra long.

AllPosters.com

A few other random thoughts after having watched the series ...

++ What an undertaking it must have been to edit the hundreds of hours of film they had and to turn it into such a compelling story. I heard some criticism about the story jumping around some, but I thought they did a remarkable job.

++ Jordan had control over the series' release, and I was impressed at the breadth of information he allowed to be shown. The stuff on his gambling (including a late-night outing during the playoffs), his father's death, and his brawl with Steve Kerr especially resonated. He cussed easily and often. He often revealed himself as a bully and a tyrant and, to quote Will Perdue, "a dick." 

++ The scene in which Jordan defended his dickishness as necessary to foster a winning atmosphere was one of the most memorable for me as a viewer. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes before he called for a "break" and took off his microphone. Although it's hard to argue with the results, the fact is that plenty of great teams in all sports over the years did not have a singular star who treated co-workers the way Jordan did the Bulls.

++ Jordan's blanket dismissal of Gary Payton after being shown an interview of Payton saying he could defend Michael was classic.

++ Michael never got into his failings as an executive, first with the Wizards and more recently as the Hornets' owner. Also, his family and his love life were kept almost completely out of it, and I don't blame him.

++ I joked about me being in the series more than several Bulls players, including Bison Dele (aka, the late Brian Williams). But I think it would have been interesting had they done a little something about him. He came up huge during the 1997 playoffs, when Rodman went off the rails a little, and his life story (and the tragic ending to it) would have been a great subject. Having said that, I know they had only so much time to profile so many players.

++ The only playoff game I missed during the second threepeat was the infamous "food poisoning game" in Utah, in which a dehydrated, ill Jordan carried the Bulls to an amazing victory and then had to be helped off the court by Pippen. My Mom had died a couple of days earlier, and I had to fly to Philadelphia for the funeral. She was buried that day, and I watched the game on TV with my brothers that night.

AP Photos

++ One of the most quoted people in the series was Mark Vancil,  Jordan's long-time biographer, award-winning author, and the guy who ran Rare Air Media for nearly two decades. 

I got to know Mark when we were both young sportswriters in Minneapolis in the late-1980s: He covered the Twins for the Star Tribune, and I was the local AP guy. I always liked him, and I like to think the feeling's mutual. I also have to admit that Mark did a lot better job of advancing his career than I did.

++ No player in sports history was as good at finding "insults" to motivate him as Jordan was. He would use any and every slight - even if he had to invent it - to be so pissed off that he needed to get "revenge" on his opponent. It would have been comical ... except it worked pretty much every time.

++ I was glad to hear Jordan say in the final episode that the dynasty didn't have to end, and that the team would have had a very realistic chance at a 7th title ... but neither Jerry Reinsdorf nor Jerry Krause wanted to let them try.

Reinsdorf had bought into Krause's plan: Blow up the dynasty and then use the enormous space under the salary cap to reload quickly by signing 2-3 superstar free agents. Unfortunately for Reinsdorf, neither he nor Krause anticipated the players association being as resolute as it was, nor did they anticipate collective bargaining agreement changes that would offer significant incentives for players to not change teams.

And finally, Reinsdorf had way too much faith in Krause's ability to attract free agents who would want to play for a blown-up franchise and an unproven coach. One of the saddest/funniest things to watch during the summer of 2000 was the way one free agent after another led Krause and Tim Floyd around on leashes in public dog-and-pony shows, only to choose other teams. After getting rejected by the likes of Tim Duncan, Grant Hill, Tracy McGrady and Eddie Jones, the desperate Bulls ended up throwing piles of money at Ron Freakin' Mercer.

Reinsdorf, through Krause, badly bungled the Jackson situation. Even if you didn't want to keep him beyond 1998, publicly embarrassing the best coach of modern times due to a vendetta was horrible management.

Despite Jordan's insistence that he would have only played had Jackson stayed, the truth is that he almost surely would have stayed had Jackson been replaced by somebody he respected (such as John Paxson or Bill Cartwright) and had Pippen been taken care of. After speaking to somebody very close to Jordan, I actually wrote a column to that effect in 2002 during Jordan's comeback with the Wizards.

So all it would have taken for the Bulls to be favored to win another title or two would have been for Krause to have eaten his pride and for Reinsdorf to have been willing to spend the money out of the golden pockets that Michael had lined for him for years. Instead, Reinsdorf let Krause hire Floyd, watched the best player in basketball history walk away, and then saw his franchise spend the next several years as NBA laughingstocks.

Many organizations in all sports chase even one elusive championship for decades. I mean, just look at the Cubs for over 100 years. When you win as often as the Bulls did, however, sometimes you undervalue what it means to win titles. You also think that you easily can replicate the success if you start over because, "hey, we did it once so we can do it again." 

Reinsdorf made a big bet on Krause, and he's now a bazillion miles away from anything close to success happening for his franchise again for the rest of his life.

++ There is little doubt that Jordan had several great seasons left after 1998. He was still the best player in the league, still playing 82 games a year. When he came back in 2001-02 to the Wizards at age 38 after having sat out three full seasons, he was averaging 25 points, 6 rebounds and 5 assists through the first 50 games. He personally had willed a bad Washington team into playoff contention and was a leading MVP candidate. 

Getty Images

++ So you keep Jackson and Jordan, you give Scottie the contract he deserved, you still have Kukoc and Harper, each of whom had a few good years left, maybe you get Rodman to accept another cheap 1-year deal, and you build around all of them with good role players, something Krause did very well. But Reinsdorf didn't want to pay them all, and Krause desperately wanted to prove he could win without Jackson and Jordan. Which he couldn't.

++ The baseball stuff involving Jordan was fascinating. I actually had moved to Chicago to work for AP shortly after Michael wrapped up his one minor-league season (1994), but my talented colleague Rick Gano handled most of the Jordan/baseball stuff. 

++ As I watched Kerr talking about his fistfight with Michael, my mind drifted back to the fall of 1995, when Kerr had an autograph-signing session at the Dominick's grocery store right down the street from where we lived in Chicago.

Ben, who was 8 years old, found a Kerr basketball card and begged me to take him. There were no fans there when we arrived, nor did anyone else show up as he talked with my son for several minutes, nor was anyone else coming up to see him as we left the store.

Kerr might as well have been Jud or Dickey.

Obviously, he ended up having some big moments for the Bulls after Jordan returned, including the title-clinching shot in 1997. 

NBA.com

Michael eventually made him a ton of money, as Kerr got a way-too-big contract from San Antonio. And of course Kerr has gone on to be a great coach, and he was an outstanding announcer, too.

But for 10+ minutes in 1995, nobody gave a rat's rump that Steve Kerr was signing autographs for free at Dominick's. Had he done the same even a year later, when everybody associated with Michael & The Bulls achieved rock-star status, there probably would have been a line out the door and around the block.

+++

So ... what was my relationship with Michael Jordan?

I'd be lying if I claimed we had a "relationship." I was never a daily beat writer, so I wasn't around him all the time, at home and on the road. Nor was I one of "his guys" in the broadcast media, such as Ahmad Rashad. I was always big on the separation of "church and state" when it came to writer/subject relationships, and it's not as if Jordan had time for or interest in that kind of thing anyway.

But I did have the advantage of having a recognizable face (and head), so he definitely knew who I was even if he didn't remember my name. Most importantly, I always felt he treated me with respect (as I did him). As the series showed, I also was pretty aggressive in asking questions early and loudly in post-game settings, because it was the only way to get heard over the hype. I think he recognized that, too.

+++

I was not a big autograph guy or memorabalia collector. Mostly, I liked saving snapshots of my sportswriting life, especially my press passes from big events. 

A few of my favorite keepsakes are newspaper clips of photographs in which I happened to be part of the scene.

For example, on the wall of my office, I have a framed edition of the New York Times sports section from March 29, 1995. The previous night, Jordan - who had just come out of retirement 9 days earlier - pulled off his famous "Double Nickel" performance, in which he scored 55 points in a win at Madison Square Garden.

Most of the Times' front sports page was a huge photograph of Jordan taking a shot from the baseline. And in the lower left corner of the photo, there I am on press row, my face seemingly right next to Jordan's airborne Air Jordans.

Here's another one I like from a post-practice press conference in Portland during the 1992 NBA Finals.

The Oregonian

Jordan is looking up at me as he answers my question. As always, I have my 4-color Bic pen in my hand. I also still had a decent amount of hair, though my future lack thereof is pretty easy to foresee.

+++

One of our family jokes was that if one of my kids' friends asked if their dad got to talk to Jordan, they were supposed to respond, "No ... Michael Jordan gets to talk to my Dad."

I'm not sure either Ben or Katie actually ever used that line, but thinking about it still brings a smile to my face.

+++

Gotta run now and collect my 7-figure royalty check from ESPN ...

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Here's a Shocker: 40-and-oh!

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My NCAA tournament bracket is already garbage.

What? I can't possibly be the only one who had Mount St. Mary's going all the way!

Yeah, I know. With me, the hilarity never ends. So who really is going to win?

I'm going with the one team that just about nobody is picking, the one team that also happens to have not lost a single game this season.

Yep, Wichita State.

How 'Bout Some Love?

It's weird that a 34-0 team -- a team that has had only a few close calls all season long -- could be such an underdog. Most Vegas casinos have the Shockers' odds of winning it all at 12-1 or higher, behind No. 4 seeds Louisville and Michigan State.

All five of ESPN's main "experts" -- Dickie, Digger, Seth Greenberg and Jays Bilas and Williams -- picked Michigan State to win the title. And none of the five even has Wichita State reaching the Final Four. Wow.

Two Sports Illustrated basketball gurus (Seth Davis, Luke Winn) have the Shockers getting to the Final Four but neither they nor SI's other pundits (Brian Hamilton, Pete Thamel) have Wichita State winning the title.

The only two prognosticators I could find who agree with me that Wichita State will go on to be the first unbeaten champs since Bobby Knight's '76 Hoosiers are both from CBSSports.com: Gary Parrish and Wally Szczerbiak.

It reminds me of the lack of respect folks had for Larry Bird's 1979 Indiana State team. Of course, that team -- unlike this year's Wichita State squad -- didn't bring just about everybody back from a squad that went to the previous year's Final Four.

Gregg Marshall is still coaching the Shockers and will be the hottest name for every job opening this offseason. Fred VanVleet is still running the show, Cleanthony Early is still scoring from everywhere and Ron Baker and Tekele Cotton are still leading a deep, versatile supporting cast.

I mean, I know Wichita State is from the weak Missouri Valley Conference (as were Bird's Sycamores), but come on! Dismissing an unbeaten team is one thing. But dismissing one that has proven it knows how to win NCAA tournament games -- something few others in this field can claim -- seems outright dopey.

Shockers-Cardinals, Take 2

There is nothing easy about Wichita State's road to the Final Four. Just to make the Sweet 16, the Shockers will have to beat either Kentucky or Kansas State. Win that one and the next opponent figures to be Louisville, a favorite of many to repeat as champions.

Consider this, though: While Wichita State returns so many proven performers, Louisville no longer has three of its best players from last year's title run: Peyton Siva, Gorgui Dieng and Chane Behanen.

Wichita State led Louisville by 12 points with less than 14 minutes to play in last year's national semifinals before 'Ville rallied to win by 4. The Shockers were down 3 and had the ball with 6 seconds left when Luke Hancock tied up Baker for a controversial held-ball call. Louisville had the possession arrow and clinched the win on the free-throw line.

In other words, the teams were all but dead-even a year ago, when Louisville was better than it is today ... so it's not exactly far-fetched to give Wichita State a puncher's chance against the Cardinals this time.

After beating 'Ville, Wichita State will dispatch Duke for the Midwest Regional title and Final Four berth. Maybe then, at 38-0, the Shockers will be taken more seriously.

The Rest of the Final Four Field

Also making it to Dallas on the first weekend of April: Florida, Iowa State and Creighton.

Florida is the easy pick. The Gators are well-coached, supremely talented and playing well going into the tournament. Kansas certainly is talented enough to beat them in the South Regional final, but Florida is more likely to make the big play with the game on the line. Florida also is less likely to get upset in an earlier round.

Virginia is a No. 1 seed that won both the ACC regular-season and tournament titles, yet the Cavs are getting only a little more love than the Shockers are. I guess if it's not Duke or Carolina, it's not really a representative ACC team.

Practically everybody is saying Michigan State, not Virginia, will emerge from the top half of the East bracket ... which pretty much means I have to pick the Cavs to take down Sparty. In the regional final, though, I've got Fred Hoiberg's entertaining and talented Iowa State Cyclones beating Virginia.

Creighton has the best offensive player in the country, Doug McDermott, who can score from 30 feet, 3 feet and everywhere in between. He is surrounded by great shooters -- the Bluejays led the nation in 3-point percentage (.421) and also were No. 5 nationally in 2-point percentage and No. 16 in free-throw shooting. If the Bluejays enjoy a period of sustained excellence from behind the arc, they can beat anybody anywhere.

They will meet Wisconsin to get to the Elite Eight. The teams are similar but Creighton is better -- and has McDermott. In the regional final, Arizona would be an extremely difficult opponent, but I'm thinking that either Oklahoma State or San Diego State will keep the Wildcats from getting that far.

40-0? Why Not?

So that's two No. 3 seeds (Creighton and Iowa State) and two No. 1s (Florida and Wichita State) in the Final Four.

Florida is too good for Iowa State and Wichita State is too well-rounded for Creighton, which finally runs out of 3-point bullets.

And in the title game ...

Well, Wichita State has beaten everybody -- including 99.5% of the experts -- to get this far.

So why not beat Florida, too?

Forty-and-oh. It has a hell of a nice ring to it.
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Today's High 5: College football's unimpressive playoff. Also: vacations for me ... and Erin Andrews

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5. Four teams? Please.

The college football playoff needed to accommodate at least eight teams to make it a true national tournament -- as well as to keep cronyism at bay. You know the selection committee will be filled with big-money-conference types who will protect their golden geese. 


The bloated bowl system remains intact, too, which is nice for fans of the Beef O'Brady's Bowl.

As satisfying as it was to hear the powers-that-be finally admit that the BCS was a huge failure, this is barely progress. And for some head-scratching reason, college honchos felt the need to lock this new system in place for 12 years.

Wake me when we have a real champion, please.

4. White Sox GM Ken Williams gets criticized often, but I always have admired the way he swings for the fences. His latest move, getting Kevin Youkilis from the Red Sox for spare parts, bordered on brilliant.

3. I took some time off from TBT while Roberta and I visited Chicago. We drove up from Charlotte with our beautiful pup, Simcha -- who was in the car, not strapped to the top in an air-tight cage.

We spent most of our time with young'uns Katie and Ben, who are doing wonderfully, thanks for asking. We also got to visit our dear friends, the Marks, the Pellikans and the Brundidges.


On Friday, I golfed with sportswriter buddies Rick Morrissey, Teddy Greenstein, Mike Imrem, Lindsey Willhite and Adam Rittenberg. That's right: a Sun-Times guy, a Tribster, two Daily Herald dudes and an ESPN.com scribe; that's about as diverse a group as a bunch of lily-white males can be. It would have been even more diverse (and more white and more male) if the Southtown Star's Phil Arvia had joined us as planned. He wimped out with the lamest of excuses: his wife broke her leg. Two days later, I hit the links with my two best Marquette friends, Tom Chodzko and John Lamich. I shot a pair of 93s, so it's a good thing the company was great!


One of the trip's highlights took place Saturday night, when my wife and I saw our favorite band, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, rock the Cubby Bear. Katie and Ben joined us and a fantastic time was had by all.


Oh, and of course, we ate at Pequod's, the best deep-dish pizza on earth.

All in all, it was a super fun Chicago visit before we returned to Charlotte -- just in time for it to be 100-plus degrees all weekend. Pass the deodorant, please.

2. I have yet to decide if I love HBO's newest series, The Newsroom, but I'm pretty sure I don't hate it.

And I must admit that I laughed out loud upon hearing that Jeff Daniels' character, combustible newscaster Will McAvoy, spent a vacation in the tropics canoodling with Erin Andrews.

You know ... I had wondered why I hadn't seen her lately.

1. After winning our previous three games, including our playoff opener, by double-digit slaughter-rule scores, our 45-and-over softball team, the Blue Thunder, suffered a tough defeat Tuesday night.

Yours truly had two line-drive hits, scored a few runs and had an RBI ... but I also messed up: Playing catcher, I failed to scoop a low throw that would have cut off a run; I also got thrown out at the plate trying to score. As a team, we played a little too loose in the field, walked a few too many batters and didn't have quite enough hits, all contributing factors to us blowing a late lead and losing by two runs.

We're not done yet, though. It's a double-elimination tournament, and we already have scored decisive victories over the next two teams we'll face (if we win our next game, that is).

Why am I boring everybody with my softball team's exploits? Well, because I can. It's my blog!

Besides ... our playoffs, unlike major college football's, will produce a true champion.
^

Albert's other 3 games. Also: ESPN announcing follies

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The Bald Truth

Albert Pujols is one of the best hitters of any era. Any team would love to have him.

That being said, his World Series has consisted of one monster game ... and three others in which he went a combined 0-for-10. His Cardinals lost two of those three while scoring four total runs.

So let's be content with calling Albert merely great, and let's hold off on the comparisons to Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Joe Montana, OK?

The Balder Truth

The Fraudulent Illini started the season 6-0 ... and very well could finish 6-6. But hey, at least they're bowl eligible! Time to extend Ron Zook's contract another five years.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

It would be hard to find a more entertaining sporting event than Saturday night's Michigan State-Wisconsin game, which featured numerous amazing plays and ended with a desperation TD heave that required several minutes of replay reviews before the Spartans were declared victorious.

The game -- especially the finish -- was so fantastic that it's a shame normally outstanding announcers Brent Musburger and Kirk Hirbstreit fell flat at the end.

Musburger kept calling the winning play a "miracle," as if he knew firsthand that God was getting Sparty and the points over Bucky Badger.

And Herbstreit offered this meaningless drivel disguised as analysis: "It comes down to a battle ... to see who wanted to win the game more."

Does Herbstreit really think Michigan State wanted the game more? Do people really think the Rams wanted to win the 2000 Super Bowl more than the Titans but didn't particularly want it two years later when they lost to the Patriots?

Such a declaration supposes something nobody possibly could know. While meant to praise the winner, it's a ringing indictment of the loser: If only he (or she or they) had just wanted it more.

It's a cliche, it offers no insight and Herbstreit knows better.

I mean, how many championships did he win as Ohio State QB? What's wrong? Didn't he want it badly enough?

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Hank Williams and ESPN honchos share award for dummies of the week

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Hank Williams Jr. is a moron. His attempt to link Barack Obama with Adolph Hitler was so sad it was laughable.

That being said, what does his Monday Night Football intro song have to do with his politics? Does ESPN screen all contributors for their political views? If somebody at ESPN linked Rick Perry with Lucifer, would that person also be punished?

There is a time and place for political correctness. In this case, ESPN just looked silly.

^

Hey Derrick Rose: Even MJ knew he didn't ALWAYS have to be The Man

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The Bald Truth

Love Derrick Rose's game. Love it! As he matures, however, he has to realize that he need not always take the final shot -- even though he's by far the best player on the Bulls.

Late in regulation time Tuesday, the Bulls had two chances to beat the Heat on the road and even the series. Both times, Rose tried to take jump shots over LeBron James, who is at least a half-foot taller and can jump just as high. Predictably, both shots missed.

On both occasions, Rose had open teammates. Luol Deng, who has hit numerous big shots, would have been an obvious alternative.

(Overall, I've been impressed by Tom Thibodeau's coaching -- and, in fact, lobbied three years ago for the Bulls to hire him instead of Vapid Vinny Del Negro. Still, it's hard to say Thibodeau wasn't out-coached by Eric Spoelstra with the whole LeBron-on-DRose situation.)

Doesn't the superstar always take the big shot? Didn't Rose's hero, Michael Jordan?

Most of the time, yes. But not always.

John Paxson hit the championship-winning 3-pointer in 1993, with Jordan later saying: "Once Paxson got the ball, I knew it was over."

In 1997, it was Steve Kerr who took a pass from Jordan and won the title with a 15-footer. In the time-out before the play, MJ went out of his way to tell Kerr to be ready if John Stockton left Kerr to double-team Jordan. Stockton indeed left Kerr, and both Jordan and Kerr were prepared to make history.

Even Jordan's famed 55-point "Double Nickel" Spectacular at Madison Square Garden in '95 ended with Jordan feeding Bill Wennington for the winning basket.

So yes, Rose should be prepared to carry his team. That's what MVPs do. Sometimes, though, the shot simply isn't there. And on those occasions, the MVP has to be smart and brave enough to trust his teammates.

That's what they're there for.

The End Is Near

I will be very sad when the Bulls-Heat series ends, and it has nothing to do with the Bulls' precarious predicament.

The end of the series means the end of TNT's broadcasts. And that means no more Marv Albert until next season (if there even is a next season for the NBA).

The guy is such a pleasure to listen to, it makes me want to wear a toupee and bite some broad's back.

The Balder Truth

Good thing for the Bulls that Bennett Salvatore wasn't officiating Game 6 of the '98 NBA Finals.

In the closing seconds of regulation Tuesday, he ignored the unwritten NBA commandment "Thou Shalt Not Call Fouls On Superstars With The Game On The Line" and had the cajones to make a great offensive foul call on LeBron -- who had used his free arm to shove Ronnie Brewer.

It's fun to wonder if Salvatore would have made a similarly bold call against Jordan, who clearly shoved Utah's Bryon Russell out of the way before hitting the famed jumper that won the title in MJ's final game as a Bull.

Just Asking

In three years under Coach K, how is it possible that Carlos Boozer didn't learn to play even a little defense?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

How hard up must ESPN be for NBA analysts if they are turning to Vapid Vinny for insight into the Bulls-Heat series?

As usual, Del Negro offered nothing of substance and repeatedly used cliches. He even disagreed with TNT's outstanding analyst pair -- Kerr and Reggie Miller -- by saying it was Rose's responsibility to attempt those difficult jumpers over LeBron.

Yep, Vapid Vinny truly sounded like a guy who deserves to coach the Clippers.

Mariotti: reaping what he sows

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So how 'bout that wacky Jay Mariotti getting charged with felonies for stalking, domestic violence and assault?

Even though he has pleaded innocent, we all know he is guilty. Why? Because if Jay Mariotti were writing this right now about somebody else -- especially an athlete -- he'd be assuming the alleged felon were an actual felon. Guilty until proven innocent.

This reminds me of Rush Limbaugh saying all drug addicts should be jailed. Until, of course, he became one himself.

Jay ... Rush ... there's nothing worse than a bombastic bully.

Oh wait, I'm wrong about that. A felon is worse. And soon enough, Mariotti very well might be found to be one of those, too.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
^

Oh no ... I'm feeling a horrible draft coming on

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We're on the clock, all of us sports fans.

The worst day in sports -- which now has morphed into the worst three days in sports -- is almost upon us.

The only way to survive is to program your cable box to skip all of the ESPN networks so you won't even accidentally watch one second of the NFL draft.

This year, The Mel Kiper & Co. Show promises to be more insufferable than ever, as there might not even be a 2011 NFL season for these young men.

Though I don't really believe the season will be lost because there's simply too much money for both greedy sides to sacrifice, one never knows. So the draft might be the only football left this year.

That's right: It could be Mel or nothing.

If so, isn't nothing the only real sensible choice?

Raftery's schtick had its day ... and I'm pretty sure that day was sometime last century

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Oftentimes, Jay Bilas is the sharpest analyst in college basketball. Sometimes, Sean McDonough is among the best play-by-play guys.

Those times are most likely to happen when Bill Raftery is elsewhere.

It isn't bad enough that the way-past-his-use-by-date Raftery brings little to a broadcast. What's worse is his effect on McDonough and Bilas when ESPN or CBS foolishly decides to go to three in the booth.

Separately, two of the three (and we've already discussed which two) actually sound like they know what they're talking about. When Raftery brings his schtick -- dopey catchphrases, dopier inside jokes and dopiest puns -- the trio cackles and giggles and talks nonsense.

How insufferable have they been during the Big East tourney? Well, I've had to use the mute button during the telecast and bring back the volume for the commercials.

Hey, Heckle, Jeckle and the other Jeckle: We don't care which of you is least likely to pick up the dinner check. (As if you're not doing New York on expense account, anyway.)

If ever there was a case for addition by subtraction, this is it.

Bill Raftery had a nice run. It's time to hide his microphone. Or at least stick him back with Verne Lundquist on the 3rd or 4th team.
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Notre Dame seeks Texas-sized payday

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Well you had to expect this:

Minutes after ESPN gave Texas $300 million for the rights to All Longhorns All The Time TV, Touchdown Jesus had his people on the phone to NBC.

And let me tell you, Touchdown Matthew, Touchdown Mark and Touchdown Luke were pretty demanding in negotiations.

NBC didn't end up ponying up any more dough, but play-by-play man Tom Hammond will have to mention the pope three times a game. Oh, and sideline reporter Alex Flanagan will be wearing Catholic Schoolgirl garb next season.
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How 'bout a Big Mac for Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is all about tradition, so I'm back with my 13th edition of Turkey of the Year.

This tradition dates back to 1998, when Michael McCaskey had so mismanaged the Bears that his mommy took the team presidency away from him and sent him to his room without supper.

Since then, a veritable Who's Who of losers, lunkheads, dopers, dorks, bullies and boors have earned Top Turkey honors: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron (2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009).

You'll notice that most of those fine folks had Chicago connections. Even Knight (Big Ten) and Weis (Notre Dame) were in the region. That's because I columnized and blogged mostly about Chicago sports during those years.

Now that I'm a man of the world (North Carolina is part of the world, right?), the 2010 Turkey Countdown has a much different look.

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor and one of the great guys I ever encountered in journalism.

So let's get to it ...

10. OMAR MINAYA. Architect of the most expensive losers in baseball. Hey, at least the Mets were champs of something during Minaya's run as General Mismanager!

9. BOBBY KNIGHT. Mr. I Hate The Media is now part of the media. And on this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that most members of the sports media are better at their jobs than Bobby is at his. The man is so awful as an ESPN analyst that I find myself wishing Dickie V were on the telecast instead. Really.

8. BRETT FAVRE. Seems the only thing he can make up his mind about is being a sleazebag.

7. MLB UMPS. I get that they have a tough job and that it's almost unfair to judge them based upon super-slo-mo replays. But these guys are so routinely bad that it's almost surprising when they get big calls right. And unlike Jim Joyce, most umps take no responsibility for their incompetence.

6. PETE CARROLL and REGGIE BUSH. They teamed up to do what no opponent could: bring USC football to its knees. They didn't even stick around to deal with the carnage they wrought, having bolted for the big bucks of the NFL. Makes you want to tell Reggie what he can do with that trophy.

5. BEN ROETHLISBERGER. Big Ben ... Good QB ... Bad Guy.

4. BRUCE PEARL. Years after he ratted out a dirty Illinois program, we learn that he's been running an even dirtier program at Tennessee. Wearing ugly orange blazers isn't punishment enough for this phony jerk.

3. LeBRON JAMES. Put on one of the most unnecessary, self-serving productions in the history of the world. But at least his talents have helped the Heat to an 8-7 start.

2. TIGER WOODS. Marriage? Over. PGA Tour victories? Zip. Ryder Cup? Back in Europe. New endorsement deals? Nada. No. 1 ranking? Now belongs to Lee Westwood. Talk about a rough year for the guy who had been the world's dominant athlete for more than a decade. I guess only bad things happen when a guy can't control his Eldrick.

And now ... drumstick roll, please ... the 2010 Turkey of the Year:

MARK McGWIRE.

Big Mac finally admitted he spent years juicing - and spent years lying about it. But even his admission was full of misleading statements.

He claimed he only juiced so he could stay healthy enough to play but then said his juicing had nothing to do with his home-run totals. Uh ... hello? How do you get the HRs without staying on the field? It's hard to believe McGwire was too stupid to make the connection, so we'll just assume he was being his deceitful self.

He obviously came clean for only two reasons: One, to clear his conscience. And two, to get the job as Cardinals hitting coach for his Chief Enabler, Tony La Russa. McGwire then worked wonders with St. Louis batters, who finished in the middle of the pack in most categories. Remember: This is a group that includes the best hitter in baseball.

Redbird bats really slumbered down the stretch. And as McGwire's charges faded, the Cardinals handed Cincinnati the division title.

Sadly, Cardinals fans - who like to call themselves baseball's best - took every opportunity to cheer their beloved cheater, liar and fraud.

Turns out, they got exactly what they deserved in 2010.
^

A lady? Maybe. But she's no journalist

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ESPN's Jemele Hill has written a thought-provoking piece on the whole flap regarding Ines Sainz, the TV "journalist" who was treated like crap by the New York Jets.

READ IT.

Jemele's column reminded me of the one I wrote about Erin Andrews back in 2008, the piece that temporarily caused a storm of biblical proportions.

Sainz did not deserve to be treated so shabbily, obviously. But when a model (who regularly does publicity stunts for a living) tries to pass herself off as a legitimate journalist, it's a recipe for trouble.

Sainz's act makes it difficult for the hundreds of outstanding female sports journalists - those in TV, radio and print - to do their jobs. And I echo Jemele Hill in wondering why some of those people immediately rushed to Sainz's defense.

Switching topics, here's for the commenter who asked for my take on the Bruce Pearl situation ...

This is the classic case of reaping what one sows. As longtime Illinois basketball followers know, it was Pearl, then an Iowa assistant, who ratted out the Illini for alleged recruiting crimes involving Deon Thomas some two decades ago, leading to NCAA sanctions against Illinois.

Now here comes Pearl, it hot water with the NCAA over his own lying and cheating. Beautiful.

As is the case with many holier-than-thou people - Jay Mariotti fits this category, too - the fall is hard when the "thou's" prove to be most unholy.
^

Erin Andrews, Derek Jeter and pigskin picks

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The Bald Truth

I couldn't have been more impressed with Erin Andrews than I was during her interview with Oprah that aired Friday.

She showed toughness and intelligence and sincerity and professionalism, all in the face of an excruciating violation of privacy. She teared up just a little when talking about having to tell her parents about that unspeakably horrific video on the Internet ... but she quickly said she wasn't going to let the voyeurs, paparazzi and other assorted scumbags stop her from being the best ESPN sideline reporter she can be.

Nice, Erin. Very nice.

Believe me, this is not an attempt to get in Erin's good graces. That ship sailed long ago - and I'm not going to revisit my column of July 2008 except to say I still stand behind what I wrote. They are two totally separate subjects.

Let's all root for the authorities to catch those peephole creeps and for those losers to go to jail - where they deserve to have their own "privacy" violated, if you get my drift.

The Balder Truth

I'm not one of those guys who dislikes Derek Jeter just because he's a Yankee. And I truly do appreciate everything he has accomplished. He is more than just a talented ballplayer; he is a gamer, a winner and probably the most fundamentally sound major-leaguer today.

Still, I do hope everybody keeps the fact that Jeter passed Lou Gehrig as the team's all-time hits leader in perspective. Knowing what I do about Jeter, I'm sure he's keeping it in perspective.

He no doubt realizes that he doesn't even compare with the Iron Horse, whose statistics dwarf those of Jeter in almost every meaningful category - including championships.

Jeter is a no-brainer Hall of Famer. But if we save the word legend only for the very best of the best, I think any intelligent baseball follower knows it applies to only one of these Yankee captains.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Well, now that the season is officially underway, I guess it's time for my NFL predictions.

A word of caution before we start: Try not to trample each other on your way to Vegas to bet on these picks!

AFC EAST - Patriots. By Dec. 1 if Tom Brady stays healthy. Chad Pennington's Dolphins were one-hit wonders.

AFC NORTH - Steelers. Can't go against the defending champs, whose personnel is even better this year.

AFC SOUTH - Colts. They've still got talent - and Peyton - so we'll see how much they miss Tony Dungy's leadership.

AFC WEST - Chargers. Even without major-league jerk Shawne Merriman, if necessary. What? You thought I was gonna go with Kyle Orton's team?

AFC WILD CARDS - Ravens and Titans.

AFC SURPRISE - The Jaguars self-destructed last year but it says here they'll play more like their fine team of 2007.

NFC EAST - Giants. Was going to pick the Eagles, but they'll miss defensive coordinator Jim Johnson too much.

NFC NORTH - Vikings. This has gone from being a blah division to a fun one, with strong QBs triggering explosive offenses. I admit it: I'm a sucker for Brett Favre, for better or worse.

NFC SOUTH - Saints. Just a hunch. This division always seems to be a little crazy, and I think the Falcons and Panthers are due for a backward step.

NFC WEST - Cardinals. Every team is seriously flawed, so let's go with the one that knows how to win it.

NFC WILD CARDS - Bears and Eagles. Hard not to pick the Packers, though.

NFC SURPRISE - The Lions will win! (A game.)

And now, on to Super Bowl XLIV ...

Steelers 24, Giants 20.

Oh, go ahead. A little bit of trampling is OK.

Cubs won't get swept in playoffs this year

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The Bald Truth

Very nice of the Cubbies to save their fans so much autumn angst.

The Balder Truth

In a shocking development, Lou Holtz looked into the ESPN cameras the other day and predicted Notre Dame would play in the BCS Make-Believe Title Game.

Next on the Worldwide Leader: Digger Phelps goes out on a limb in forecasting a Big East hoops championship for the Fighting Irish.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Word is, some Vikings prefer Tarvaris Jackson to Brett Favre.

Um ... have these Vikings actually watched Tarvaris Jackson play?

Not that there's anything wrong with that

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The Bald Truth

Pretty much everybody except Greg Louganis and Billie Jean King has gone ballistic ever since Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin used a disparaging term for "gay" to describe a goofy dance-and-chant number that Notre Dame players performed before last year's Hawaii Bowl.

The university suspended McMackin for 30 days.

The Western Athletic Conference reprimanded him.

Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis said he was personally offended by McMackin's remark.

And Jay Mariotti immediately called for the White Sox to fire Ozzie Guillen.

The Balder Truth

I'm trying to decide which is more incredible:

That Randy Wells is the Cubs' best pitcher.

Or that it isn't even particularly close.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Interesting responses to the poll question: "Are you for or against Michelle Wie being chosen for the U.S. Solheim Cup team?"

++ 5 percent: "For."

++ 4 percent: "Against."

++ 91 percent: "What's the Solheim Cup?"

Back ... back ... back ... blecchhh!

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Home Run Derby? Missed it. By choice.

Already planning to miss Derby 2010, too.

Based on past experience, watching sluggers bash baseballs a long way is mildly entertaining for a few minutes. When one takes ESPN's absurdly serious treatment of the event into the account, well, unwatchable and gag-inducing are the adjectives that leap to mind.

I mean, why not just have Boomer Berman do straight play-by-play of putt-putt golf?

"Oh no! Here comes the windmill blade now!"

Chatting with Dusty ... and avoiding the NFL draft

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The Bald Truth

I had a real nice conversation with Dusty Baker in the visiting manager's office at Wrigley Field the other day. 

Although this isn't an acceptable thing to say in the Greater Cubbieland Metro Area - where Dusty is reviled because he "only" led the team within five outs of the World Series - I've always liked the guy. 

My dad told me long ago that we only can treat people the way people treat us, and Dusty always was decent to me. He was decent to the city of Chicago, too.

He certainly made his share of mistakes during his four years managing the Cubs - chief among them, letting the inmates run the asylum in 2004 - but Baker ended up getting a pretty raw deal from the team and its fans.

I'm not the only one who felt that way. Here's what Aramis Ramirez said a few days ago when Baker's Reds were in town to take two out of three from Lou Piniella's Cubbies:

"It wasn't his fault. Nobody could manage that team in '06. We had guys coming from Double-A. We just had a bad team. If you gave Dusty this team, I guarantee we'd be in the playoffs, too."

True enough.

Hey, I'm a Sweet Lou fan, but it didn't take a great manager to guide the Cubs to the playoffs last year. In 2003, Baker had to convince the Cubs that it was OK for them to win. They did, and a new Cubbie Era was born. 

The bar was raised - not just a little, but a lot - creating the kind of expectations that drive Lou nuts today. Dusty can empathize.

"There's more competition for news here in Chicago than in most other places," Baker told me. "They've got more sports talk radio, more newspapers, more media - period. In Cincinnati, we've got three beat guys, and one of them is with MLB.com.

"Also, I'd never been a place where it's been that long between pennants, a place where you're constantly reminded of that. I was like, 'Hey, man, I've only been here four years. I'm not responsible for the other 96!'

"I've had a great life, not many regrets. But one of the few regrets I do have in my life was not bringing a championship to Chicago. 

"It's too late. That's up to somebody else now."

The Cubs fans who couldn't wait to see Baker fired and Piniella hired are still waiting for Lou's big-money ballclub to win a championship.

Heck, they're still waiting for Lou's crew to win a single postseason game.

The Quote

"Of course the Cubs should be favored to win. They won the division the last couple of years, didn't they? And they just keep buying more players. Man, their payroll is almost twice ours." - Dusty Baker.

The Balder Truth

Baker wanted to set the record straight on something he called a "misconception": that he doesn't like managing young players. The Reds have become a young team and Baker said he loves it.

"I've always wanted this. My daughter told me in spring training: 'Dad, I haven't heard this much excitement in your voice in a couple of years.' It's fun to build something. You're gonna see some mistakes, but that's part of the process of teaching. I've always wanted a younger team that I could teach how to play winning baseball versus getting guys from other places that might have had different values on how to play team baseball."

But what about his reputation to the contrary?

"Hey man, you can't help reputation," Baker said. "Whoever's talking about my reputation are people who never took the time to know me. They just assumed whatever. I don't know where that came from because I didn't have that in San Francisco. I didn't get that until I came to Chicago. You just get tired of defending yourself about the same thing over and over again."

As usual, there's a lot of gray in this situation. Baker had several young players who flourished under his watch in Chicago, including Carlos Zambrano, Aramis Ramirez, Ryan Theriot, Mark Prior, even Matt Murton. But yes, he preferred experienced hands when the going got tough - which makes him similar to most managers.

I never did figure out his odd reliance on Neifi Perez, though.

The Admission

Just so I don't get accused of revisionist history ... 

During Baker's final season, I wrote that it was time for the Cubs to change managers. I was pretty much the last Chicago columnist to say so, but I did say it.

My reason had more to do with the Cubs not deserving Baker than anything else. Tribune Co. had built a severely flawed team that made it impossible for him (or any manager) to win in Chicago. And the fans were convinced that Piniella (or anybody other than Dusty) was the answer.

So Dusty Baker was the scapegoat for everything that went wrong. He had to go.

Thank goodness! The string of championships the hundred-million-dollar-plus Cubs have put together since that bum was fired is truly impressive, no?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

There are few good things about being an ex-columnist, but here's one of them:

I no longer have to pretend that I know whom the Bears (or any other NFL team) should draft.

Nobody knows. Everybody guesses. The ESPN draftniks talk a lot - hours and hours and hours leading up to the draft, more hours and hours and hours during it. And for what?

I still remember Mel Kiper Jr. insisting that if the Colts didn't draft Heath Shuler, they'd be the biggest fools in NFL history. The team ended up taking Trev Alberts.

Well, Shuler was a bust. And so was Alberts. The ESPN expert was wrong. So were the Colts' honchos.

Talk about the perfect illustration of everything that is idiotic about this two-day We-have-no-clue-a-thon. 

Every year, like all the other Chicago columnists, I would go to Halas Hall, sit around for six hours, wait for the Bears to make their selection and then write my "expert" opinion. Why? Because that's what the job called upon me to do. 

But if GMs all over the league can't pick the right offensive lineman or cornerback or tailback, how the heck are the rest of us supposed to? If after studying film and talking to scouts and analyzing "measurables," ESPN's experts think that Trent Dilfer is going to be a superstar, what chance do us regular folks have?

I call it The Worst Weekend In Sports, and - run for the hills! - it's upon us again.

This year, my weekend will be spent with family and friends, not with Jerry Angelo, Mel Kiper Jr. and a roomful of fellow scribes. I guarantee that I won't watch even one second of the We-have-no-clue-a-thon.

Sure, I'd rather be employed. But avoiding The Worst Weekend In Sports is a pretty decent consolation prize.