Hey ... Remember Me?

 Well ... it's been more than a year since I've posted here. Why? 

1. I've been busy living my life.

2. When I've done any public writing, I've done so professionally (in other words, for $$$$).

3. I'm retired and lazy.

I think that about covers it.

Anyhoo, I'm not gonna make any New Year's resolution about posting daily or weekly or monthly (or even annually) to The Baldest Truth. All I'll say is, "We'll see."

But I'm here now, so here goes ...

The Bald Truth

A lot has gone on with my family since I last posted the day before Thanksgiving 2023.

The main happening of note: Robbie and I sold our home in Matthews, NC, and moved to Seattle to be near Katie and her family, who re-re-located to Seattle in August. (The grandkids had spent two years in Charlotte, reeling us in with their damn cuteness.)

Concluding a 6-week drive that included stops to visit friends and family in Wilmington, Hilton Head, Philadelphia, Easton, Detroit, Chicago, Middle Of Nowhere Wisconsin and Jackson Hole, we arrived in Seattle in mid-October. 

We've been living in a furnished rental while we look for our next home. It's been a humbling and somewhat intimidating experience, given the low inventory and the insanely high prices - basic starter homes that need work run $1 million plus. We are open to renting a nice place for a couple/few years, and we might end up doing just that.

I do miss a lot about Charlotte. I miss going to the Beer Temple every Thursday to get together with Gary, Drew, Scott, Tom and whoever else might join our group in any given week. I miss the monthly wild-card-filled poker nights that Bruce ran, and Jake's more serious Hold 'Em games. We miss our best Charlotte "couple friends," Karen and Tom. And of course I miss the weather - it's gray and rainy in Seattle just about every freakin' day. (But I do know from experience that the summers here will be spectacular, so less than 6 gloomy months to go!)

Life is filled with adventures big and small, and I've always felt that change is healthy. We didn't know a soul in Madison when we moved there as newlyweds, nor did we know anybody when we moved to Minneapolis after I got my first full-time sportswriting gig. We had some people in Chicago when we moved there, but we didn't have all that much opportunity to get together with them because we were busy raising our family. And then we knew absolutely nobody when we moved to Charlotte. At each stop, we carved out a fun, fulfilling and friend-filled experience for ourselves, and I have no doubt we'll do the same in Seattle.

It's certainly been great being around Katie, Ben, Owen and Piper. We see them all the time and enjoy the laughs, love and hugs. In just the past couple of weeks, I've gone with Ben to a Kraken game; I've watched the Sounders with Katie and her friends; and we babysat Owen and Piper so that Katie and Ben could go to dinner with Ben's family, who were visiting from out of town.

I also recently took Owen to a high school basketball game. It's obvious that my 4-year-old grandson is a huge basketball fan, based on his answer when I asked him during the drive home what his favorite part of the game was: 

"Getting a pack of Skittles."

The Balder Truth

Speaking of basketball ...

Last winter, I wrapped up the North Carolina portion of my coaching career. It was my 11th season overall, 7th as a middle-school girls head coach and 2nd at Socrates Academy, a charter school for smart kids that was just two miles from our house. 

Our top seven players from the previous season graduated, and this time we had a bunch of 6th-graders who were eager but mostly not experienced enough to compete against the many talented and older teams in our league. Although the final result was only my second sub-.500 record as a head coach (and first since my very first season), we still had a lot of fun ... and it again was wonderful having Katie as my assistant coach.

I got to Seattle too late to consider coaching here this season, and I haven't decided yet if I'll do so next year. I enjoy working with kids and I love the challenge of building a team, but it's also a solid 3-4 month commitment. And now that Robbie and I are both retired, I'm not sure I'm ready to give up that chunk of time. We'll see what's going through my head when the time to make a decision draws near.

A more successful basketball story for the 2023-24 season was written by my Marquette Golden Eagles. Coached by Shaka Smart and led by Tyler Kolek and Oso Ighodaro, Marquette played inspired basketball all season and reached the Sweet 16 for the first time in a decade. 

I got to several games, including road contests against Butler and Xavier, as well as the first two NCAA Tournament games. MU was 6-0 with me in attendance - I guess I should have gone to the NCAA Regional game we lost in Dallas, dammit! As Steve Martin used to say (back when he was funny): "I blame myself."

We have a real good team again this season, with PG Kam Jones playing like an All-American and getting excellent support from several others. I'm planning to go to three games with my friends in late January. There's also a pretty active Marquette Club in Seattle, and Robbie, Katie and I went to a game-watching event to see the takedown of the always-evil Wisconsin Rodents.

Personally, the best thing about Marquette's resurgence has been the way my old MU buddies like Chodz, Jim and John have really gotten into the team. We have text chains going during every game, we've gotten together to go to numerous games, and it's just been a lot of fun. So thanks to Shaka and the guys! Sports brings people together - one of many reasons I love them.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Unfortunately, I spent pretty much all of 2024 dealing with serious back problems. At first, it was general soreness in the mid-back to upper-back area that kept me from doing activities I enjoy. But things got worse, and in May an MRI showed that I had a compression fracture. The pain had gotten unbearable and it took a long time for me to be able to do even mundane tasks like tie my shoes or shave.

We ended up having to cancel a scheduled trip to Europe, missing our niece's wedding (Congrats, Caroline and Daniel!), as well as a Rhine River cruise. Total bummer.

While dealing with my injury, I ended up putting extra stress on my lower back and neck, and those became problem areas, too. Making matters even worse, I got the run-around from my health-insurance company and couldn't receive the physical therapy I desperately needed.

Finally, after moving to Seattle, I decided to pay out of pocket for a highly regarded physical therapist - who also happens to be my first cousin's son-in-law, Phil - and I'm doing a lot better now. I've still got a ways to go to be able to do the real fun stuff (such as golfing, or picking up a grandkid), but at least I'm mostly able to function.

I'm looking forward to getting back to full strength in 2025. And it will happen!

Bits & Pieces

• Just because we're in the Pacific Northwest now, it doesn't mean we'll be traveling less to Chicago, where Ben, Sammi, Jack, Logan and Noah live - and where we still have many friends from our 16 years in that great city. We already have a trip scheduled for early 2025 and another tentatively planned for the spring. Our hearts will always lead us to Chicago over and over and over again.
• We lived in the Charlotte area for 14+ years, and in our house on Hickory Lake Lane for most of that time. It was the longest I had lived in any house as an adult - easily beating our 10 years at Bell Ave. in Chicago. The only abode in which I resided longer was 59 Wheeler Avenue in my hometown of Milford, CT - the only house I knew until I went away to college.
• I'm still writing investing articles, but I'm now doing so for a subscription service on the Seeking Alpha site. After years of writing for a free site, I didn't love switching to a situation in which folks have to pay to read my stuff, but that's the most common model in this day and age. And the money I get for writing still buys my beer (and, hopefully soon, my golf) - and that ain't nothing.
• Sadly, Robbie and I lost our best friend of 13 1/2 years in August, when Simmie died. She was a loyal, loving and funny pup, and we still talk about her often.
• I just realized I didn't announce my Sports Turkey of the Year for 2024, but my choice shouldn't surprise anybody who follows the NFL (or to any of my Chicago friends). It's obviously former Bears coach Matt Eberflus, who oversaw a dysfunctional, easily distracted, fundamentally weak crew of losers. I was tempted to pick one of those losers - Tyrique Stevenson, the pathetic fool who was busy taunting the crowd while Washington was in the process of launching its winning Hail Mary play. But even that screw-up ultimately belongs on Eberflus, who built a culture of pathetic foolishness. 
• It was pretty easy becoming a Seattle Seahawks fan after my long run cheering for the Carolina Panthers. It's not as if I was born and raised a Panthers fan, and I simply want to pull for the team where I live. Unfortunately, the Seahawks have been mostly frustrating in my first season rooting for them. I've even accidentally referred to them as the Panthers a few times - and that's no compliment! 2015, when the Panthers went to the Super Bowl behind Cam Newton, Luke Kuechly and a cocky cast of characters, will forever be one of my most fun seasons as a sports fan.
• I'm rooting for a Bills-Lions Super Bowl so that one of those teams' long-suffering fan bases can enjoy the ultimate feeling.

And with that, folks, I'm out. No promises about when I'll post again to TBT, but I will someday! 

Happy New Year, everybody, and may 2025 be filled with love and laughter and compassion and peace.

 

 

Today's High Five: Super Bowl Edition

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1. I'm still trying to figure out what Falcons offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan and his boss, coach Dan Quinn, were thinking after they made it possible for Tom Brady to complete the Patriots' incredible Super Bowl comeback.

The Falcons had an 8-point lead and had moved into FG range with 4:40 to play on yet another circus catch by the indomitable Julio Jones. On first down, Shanahan called the only play that made sense: a handoff up the middle. It lost a yard but it let the Falcons kill another 45 seconds. The clock read 3:56 when Atlanta snapped its next play at the New England 23-yard line.

If the Falcons had run two more times into the line of scrimmage, the very worst outcome would have been this: The Patriots would have burned two time-outs before Matt Bryant, Atlanta's nearly automatic kicker, would have attempted a 40-yard (or so) field goal that would have all but clinched the franchise's first-ever Super Bowl victory.

Instead, inexplicably, Shanahan called for a pass. Matt Ryan was sacked for a 12-yard loss and the Patriots immediately called their first time-out. Now there was 3:50 left and the Falcons were on the fringe of FG range - it would have been a 52- or 53-yarder.

Again, Shanahan called for a pass. This time, the Falcons were guilty of holding, putting them back at the 45 with 3:44 to go, with the clock stopped due to the penalty. Finally, one more pass play was called, and the pass fell incomplete, again stopping the clock. Time to punt.

So now, instead of a likely 11-point lead with less than 4 minutes to go and New England having only one time-out, Brady trailed by only one score, had a ton of time to work with and still had two time-outs plus the 2-minute warning.

Predictably, the Patriots drove downfield, got a TD with plenty of time to spare, scored the 2-point conversion to tie the game and won in overtime.

After the Super Bowl a couple of years earlier, Seattle coach Pete Carroll was figuratively killed by critics after okaying a pass on first-and-goal from the 1 instead of giving the ball to Marshawn Lynch. The Patriots intercepted to clinch the victory.

That decision, however, was nowhere near as bad as the one by Shanahan (and, by extension, Quinn).

The Falcons had the game and gave it away.

It was a heck of a way for Shanahan to end his Falcons career. He is headed to San Francisco to be the 49ers' new head coach, and I have seen tweets suggesting he already should be fired!

2. How many anti-Trump statements were made in Super Bowl commercials? Five? Ten?

All you need to know about the tenor and tone of our country right now is that some of the largest corporations in America spent millions of dollars for the right to rip Comrade Twitler for his unconstitutional, exclusionary, hate-fueled, anti-immigration decrees.

Some will say the Super Bowl is no place for such political statements. I say we must fight this administration's worst instincts and actions every chance we get and with every method at our disposal - and I applaud Budweiser, Coca-Cola, Airbnb and others for taking financial risks to do so.

3. No matter how much the Falcons helped him, Brady obviously deserves credit for orchestrating the biggest Super Bowl comeback ever. Even if somebody is trying to give you something, you have to be willing and able to take it.

Still, let's not forget that one reason the Patriots were in such a deep hole was that Brady had played horrendously for much of the first half. He repeatedly missed wide-open receivers on what would have been big plays, threw behind several receivers on short passes and was victimized by a Pick-6 on as bad a pass as I have ever seen him throw.

The mark of a champion is one who can overcome adversity - even adversity that he created - to emerge victorious.

Tom Brady did just that, cementing his legacy as the greatest quarterback ever.

I'm sure he is proud and relieved to have my endorsement.

4. It still doesn't seem right that, in the most important game of the year, one team can win the game without the other team's offense even having a chance to touch the football.

Nevertheless, I'm having trouble feeling too sorry for the Falcons.

Even after the collapse of the century and even after losing the pre-OT coin flip, they still had a chance. All they had to do was stop the Patriots short of the goal line, and Ryan, Jones & Co. would have had one more shot.

Instead, the Falcons' defense provided so little resistance that Brady never even faced a third down while orchestrating his team's 8-play, 75-yard, championship-winning drive.

It was a well-earned victory for the Patriots, and a VERY well-earned defeat for the Falcons.

5. I was chicken, and it cost me $350.

I have a friend who makes wagers on an online site and I was going to have him place two bets for me. I was going to put $250 on the Patriots and give 3 points; and I was going to throw $100 at the "over" (on the 59 over/under). But when it came time to actually part with my dough-re-mi, I opted not to.

For most of the night, I was pretty darn happy with my decision.

And then the Patriots kept scoring. And the Falcons kept choking. And then the game went into OT. And then the Patriots won by 6, putting the total points at 62.

But that's OK. I actually got to enjoy the game without having to sweat (or swear). A small price to pay, I guess.
^

Two super teams, one Super prediction

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In late December, after the Panthers lost to the Falcons to fall to 14-1, my son Ben asked who I thought would lose next: the Panthers or the girls basketball team I coach, the Scholars Academy Eagles.

"The Panthers," I said.

Ben was surprised by my response. I'm a huge Panthers fan and a second loss would knock them out of the playoffs. Did I really think that would happen before my team, which was only 5-0 at the time, would lose?

"Yeah," I said. "I'm guessing the Panthers will lose one game next September or October before my girls start our 2016-17 season."

Even my son, a tough critic, had to admit that was a pretty good answer.

Unfortunately, it turned out to be the wrong answer.

On Tuesday, we put our 12-0 record on the line and pretty much got run out of the gym by a quicker team. It was the same team we had defeated in last year's semifinals, but this time our outstanding center, Celeste, was home sick with a cold. Without our shot-blocker -- not to mention one of our best shot-makers -- we wilted in the second half.

Of course, I'm not certain we would have won even if we had Celeste, as we did lose to that team by a single point last season. We are a very good shooting team for this age group but made hardly anything Tuesday, and that very well might have doomed us even if our center had been healthy.

+++

Meanwhile, the Panthers have not lost again since their setback in Atlanta. They ended the regular season by crushing the Bucs -- sending Lovie Smith into the coaching abyss -- and then scored impressive victories over the Seahawks and Cardinals, teams many regarded as the two most dangerous in the league.

All of that good work has put the Panthers into the Super Bowl against the Broncos. Oddsmakers have established my heroes as 5 1/2-point favorites ... and although I won't place any bets, I certainly would side with the Panthers if I did.

Yes, I'm a fan, but I'm pretty objective as fans go. (Three decades of sportswriting does that to a guy.) I simply see Carolina as the superior all-around team: far more dynamic and balanced offensively, and every bit as impressive defensively. While Cam Newton has matured into being the best quarterback in the league, 106-year-old Peyton Manning hopes to keep his body in one piece for one last hurrah.

The Broncos' strength is their outside pass rush, but even that could end up working in the Panthers' favor. If DeMarcus Ware and Von Miller get caught a little too far upfield trying to get to Newton, he will run wild into the middle of the field. If the Panthers can do a decent job of keeping those great linebackers off of Cam -- and I think they will -- it could end up being yet another lopsided Super loss for the Broncos.

+++

As for my Eagles, we got to experience one of the things I really like about sports: the quick turn-around.

Wednesday, one day after having a less-than-stellar performance and suffering our first loss, we played extremely well in a dominant 36-10 victory.

Celeste was back to anchor our defense, our leading scorer Sholeh found the touch that had abandoned her the day before, our top outside shooters Ritika and Olivia each swished a 3, and our defense was active and effective.

Plus, the 5th-grader we affectionately call "Rookie" had her best game -- stealing the ball several times, setting some great picks and scoring on three confident, aggressive takes to the hoop. On the third, she used a hesitation dribble to beat her defender, drove, scored and got fouled for an "and-1." The girls on the bench went wild, not just because Rookie made such a nice move but because we had worked on hesitation moves just two days earlier in practice. Which made the bald, old coach pretty happy, too!

+++

So I was wrong about which team would lose next. But if you ask me the question again ... I'll STILL say next season's Panthers.

I'm not a big believer in an undefeated team "needing" to lose in the regular season to be more psychologically prepared to win in the playoffs, but I do agree with my athletic director that sometimes a loss will re-focus a team.

We have 7 games to go -- 4 in the regular season and then, hopefully, 3 in the playoffs -- and I'm confident this group will run the table.

And the Panthers ... well, a loss Sunday ain't gonna happen.

Yes, I know most of America is rooting for Peyton Manning to go out a champion, but he's got his ring. The Bears helped assure him of that. It's our turn, now.

Panthers 30, Broncos 16.

KEEP POUNDING, BABY!!!
^

Thanksgiving's over, but there's always room for the Turkey of the Year countdown

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For 17 years now, I've used the Thanksgiving holiday as an occasion to lob a few grenades at each sports year’s chumps, losers, lunkheads, criminals and clods. Because I was traveling last week, this Turkey of the Year countdown is, for the first time, being presented after we’ve all consumed our turkey, stuffing and pie. I’m looking at it as a heaping helping of luscious leftovers!

Previous "winners" (and by that, I mean "losers"):

Mike McCaskey (1998); Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight(2000); David Wells and Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron(2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006);Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009); Mark McGwire (2010); Joe Paterno and the Penn State Enablers (2011); U.S. Ryder Cup Team (2012); Alex Rodriguez (2013); Roger Goodell and Ray Rice (2014).

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that up until 2010, each of those Turkeys did their gobbling in Chicago or the Midwest. That's because I columnized for the Copley newspaper group in Chicago, where the annual countdown got its start under my predecessor and friend, the late, great Gene Seymour. Since moving to North Carolina, I've expanded my Turkey-choosing horizons. Still, as always, I dedicate this in memory of Gene.

So grab (yet another) hunk of pie and enjoy ...

12. BO RYAN ... Bo knows winning -- and whining. After masterfully coaching his Wisconsin Badgers into the NCAA title game, he couldn’t resist taking shots at Duke, Kentucky and other programs that use "rent-a-players." He forgot to mention that he went hard after Kevon Looney -- a freshman at UCLA last year whom everybody knew would be 1-and-done -- as well as two of this season’s top frosh, Marquette’s Henry Ellenson and Maryland’s Diamond Stone. So what Ryan really meant was that he didn’t like the fact that Coach K and Coach Cal were able to land the kind of 1-and-dones who apparently want nothing to do with Coach Bo. Hypocrites make wonderful turkeys!

11. TED LILLY ... The former Cubs, Dodgers, Yankees, A’s and Blue Jays pitcher took out an insurance policy on his RV and then crashed it four days later, claiming $4,600 in damage. Routine stuff, right? Yeah, except the crash actually happened five days BEFORE he took out the policy. Once nabbed, he faced three felony charges of insurance fraud. He took a plea bargain to avoid jail time and received only a small fine, community service and probation. I can see why Lilly would try to get away with a $4,600 scam, given that he only made $80 million during his 15-year career. Of course, I’ll always remember Lilly for the way he slammed down his glove – Bad News Bears style – after giving up a home run in Game 2 of the 2007 NL playoffs. 

10. BRANDON BOSTICK ... As part of Green Bay’s “hands” unit in last season’s NFC title game, he had one job: Block for Jordy Nelson so that the Packers’ No. 1 receiver could catch the football if Seattle sent an onside kick in their direction. Instead, Green Bay’s third-string tight end tried to make the catch himself. The ball went off of his hands and helmet and was recovered by the Seahawks, who promptly drove for the winning touchdown. (As bad as that was, he didn’t deserve the death threats that came his way. What the hell is wrong with people?)

9. CLEVELAND FIREWORKS GUY & JASON PIERRE-PAUL ... Fireworks are fun, right? Pity the poor sap in charge of setting off fireworks after Indians home runs; he accidentally hit the button after Kansas City’s Alex Rios went yard and was last seen burying his head in his hands. And really pity Pierre-Paul, the Giants defensive end who damn near blew off his hand on the Fourth of July. Mom was right about not playing with matches!

8. PATRICIA DRISCOLL & ANNA HANSEN ... You can be forgiven if your reaction to both names is, “Who?” Well, Driscoll is the ex-wife of auto racer Kurt Busch, who testified in court that Driscoll is a trained assassin who has been dispatched on covert missions around the globe. And Hansen is the long-time girlfriend of Lance Armstrong; she claimed to have been driving the car when a drunk Armstrong drove into two parked cars after a party and then fled the scene. Armstrong, one of the most infamous pathological liars in history, let Hansen take the fall. You can’t make up stuff like this.

7. GREG ABBOTT ... After the Astros scored three runs in the seventh inning to take a 6-2 lead in Game 4 of the ALDS, the Texas governor sent out a tweet congratulating the ‘Stros for advancing to the ALCS. Problem was, the Royals came back with five runs in the eighth. They won that game and then took Game 5 two days later to capture the series. Oops! But hey, at least this Texas governor didn’t take the national debate stage and forget which federal agencies he’d eliminate. Nor did he proclaim “Mission Accomplished” a few months into an unnecessary, unfunded, decade-long war. In other words, there’s still plenty of time to REALLY embarrass yourself, Gov. Abbott!

6. ROGER GOODELL ... It was another tough year for the NFL commissioner, our 2014 Turkey of the Year. Tom Brady got away with cheating. Greg Hardy got away with beating the crap out of his girlfriend. Goodell’s nemesis, the Patriots, won the Super Bowl and he spinelessly skipped their banner-raising celebration. Goodell also got caught lying in the aftermath of the Ray Rice fiasco. And so on and so on. Why do NFL owners put up with him? (Hell, they don’t just put up with him, they pay him tens of millions of dollars annually!) Well, because he is good at making the league money, especially TV money. So maybe it wasn’t that bad a year after all for Goodell, who can count his bounty while he ignores his critics.

  

5. PETE CARROLL ... The Seahawks coach has taken endless grief for his decision to try to win the Super Bowl by having Russell Wilson attempt a second-down pass from the 1-yard line -- a pass that was intercepted by the Patriots’ Malcolm Butler. Some have labeled it the worst play call in NFL history. Most felt Carroll should have run Marshawn Lynch up the middle. Frankly, I don’t think passing in that situation was such a bad idea, but I’d have preferred Carroll give Wilson a run-pass option to the outside, a play that would have let Wilson easily throw the ball away if nobody was open and there was no running lane. Regardless of what one thinks of Carroll’s decision, though, there’s no question it began what has turned out to be a trying 2015 for him and his team.

4. DUKE-MIAMI GAME OFFICIALS ... I don’t know why anybody should be critical of
referee Jerry Magallanes and his crew. After all, they only blew FOUR calls during the Hurricanes’ last-second, 8-lateral desperation play – a play that resulted in a ridiculous Miami touchdown that cost Duke the game. Miami finished 8-4 to Duke’s 7-5 and probably will get to play in a more lucrative bowl game, too. The sitaution was so bad that the ACC actually suspended the crew for two weeks -- and conferences HATE acknowledging officiating errors. While this boo-boo was especially amazing because the officials didn’t correctly use a replay system that was put in place to avoid just this kind of outcome, it was merely this season’s most egregious screw-up by college and pro football refs. Pass interference especially seems like just a “best guess” for these clowns. 

3.  LARRY BROWN & SMU ADMINISTRATION ... I understand the allure of Brown, who wins wherever he coaches. But he should stick to the pros, where he doesn’t have to cheat to win. Brown’s SMU hoops team was barred from the postseason and hit with other major sanctions after Brown was found guilty of academic fraud and unethical conduct. Brown, whose Hall of Fame career includes a long history of NBA success, has coached at three universities. All three – Kansas, UCLA and SMU – ended up getting punished for major violations under Brown. SMU, the only school ever to be hit with the “death penalty” for football violations a couple decades back, should have known better. But I guess Brown is just too darn irresistible.

2. CHASE UTLEY ... The dirty Dodger’s sinful slide in the NLCS ended the season of Mets SS Ruben Tejada. It was gratifying that the incident ended up fueling the passion that soon helped the Mets end the Dodgers’ season. Utley used to be a great player, but he has been declining for years -- and apparently this kind of douchebaggery is all he has left. Sorry, but those who argue it was just a guy “playing hard” are turkeys, too.

And now, for the 2015 Turkey of the Year, it's nice to return the "honor" to its Chicago roots ...

DERRICK ROSE 

After missing two-thirds of his team's games over the previous four seasons, what was the major topic the Bulls star wanted to discuss as the team opened training camp this year? His health? His excitement about getting back with his teammates? His desire to return to MVP form and lead the Bulls to the NBA title? Not quite. 

"This whole summer I had tunnel vision. My mindset was I was working out every day and spending as much time as possible with my son, making sure my family is financially stable. As far as you see all the money they're passing out in this league -- just telling the truth -- and knowing my day will be coming up soon. It's not for me. It's for P.J. and his future. So that's what I'm thinking about right now." 

It's important to note that Rose had been asked a question about an entirely different subject. Unsolicited, he brought up being a free agent -- something that's still two years away for him.

A reporter asked a follow-up question just to make sure that really was Rose’s main focus.

“Yeah … I’m preparing for it.” 

Hey Derrick, you know what really will help you make even more money than the $100 million-plus your current contract is paying you? 

How about playing most of your team’s games and, you know, actually accomplishing something in the postseason?!?!

Oct. 13: Birthday Of The Stars (and a certain bald schlub)

^
An early Happy Birthday wish to my former Marquette classmate Glenn Rivers (now universally known as Doc), who was born Oct. 13, 1961, exactly one year after I was.

And while I'm at it, early Happy Birthday wishes to ...

Jerry Rice, the greatest receiver ever to lace 'em up.

Marie Osmond (even though, unlike her, I'm a lotta bit rock 'n' roll).

Paul Simon, who still can get me feelin' groovy.

Dark comedian Lenny Bruce (RIP)

Sacha Baron Cohen, who no doubt will celebrate by making sexy time.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who hasn't won a lick since naming himself GM.

Clutch hoopster Paul Pierce (and far-less-clutch hoopster Jermaine O'Neal).

Nancy Kerrigan, one of sport's all-time victims.

Kelly Preston, Jerry Maguire's squeeze.

Kate Walsh. Is there any TV show she hasn't been mediocre in?

Sammy Hagar -- The Red Rocker.

Margaret Thatcher -- The Iron Lady. (RIP)

Ari Fleischer, who as Dubya's press secretary had the dubious assignment of making his boss sound intelligible.

"Foolish" songstress Ashanti.

Trevor Hoffman, who saved 601 games even though his fastball could be measured by a sundial.

Wow ... what a great list of October 13 birthdays!

And while I'm at it, an early Happy Birthday To Me!

For yours truly, it's double-nickels -- a term I'll always associate with Michael Jordan's 55-point performance at Madison Square Garden shortly after his first un-retirement in 1995.

Jeesh ... was that really 20 years ago? How time flies when you share a birth date with Ari Fleischer!

---

And in other less-important news ...

++ Of course Chase Utley's slide was dirty. The rent-a-Dodger was practically past second base when he wiped out Ruben Tejada, breaking the Mets shortstop's leg. Kudos to MLB executive Joe Torre for suspending Utley. It's worth noting that Torre, who has as much integrity as any man in baseball, used to manage the Dodgers.

++ "These things are scripted, I guess, and I wasn't in the script this time." -- Anirban Lahiri, International team golfer, after he missed a short putt to lose to Chris Kirk and cost his team a tie in the Presidents Cup. Hey man, if you want to believe God chose Kirk instead of you and the Americans instead of your team as a rationale for your choke job, go for it.

++ I keep thinking the Seahawks are going to start dominating games again, but they keep avoiding doing so. I hope they delay it at least another week, as they face my Panthers next Sunday.

++ Oh, and one more early birthday shout-out to Phil Arvia, my good buddy and fellow former Chicago sports columnist. Phil has traded in his laptop for a bass guitar, and he's just more proof that there's life after the newspaper biz. I am still waiting for him to invite me on stage to sing, though. You haven't rocked or rolled until you've heard my rendition of Del Shannon's "Runaway"!

Today's Top 10 - NFL Edition ... Plus A Dad-In-Law Update ... Plus My Next Big Game

^
10. Was that the Genius Bill Belichick leaving Tom Brady in to get clobbered by a Colts pass-rusher while trying to throw a deep TD pass with 6 minutes to go in a 45-7 game?

I never root for guys to get hurt, and I actually really like Brady, but if ever a coach deserved a negative fate, it is that cheatin' jerk Belichick.

Makes it even easier to root for Seattle in the Super Bowl.

9. The Seahawks couldn't have played much worse, especially on offense, in the first 55 minutes of the game. But they sure knew how to capitalize the 10th time the Packers all but begged them to steal it.

Champions find a way to win even when they suck.

8. Early 2015 Turkey of the Year candidate: Brandon Bostick.

The backup Packers tight end was supposed to block so that Jordy Nelson could field the onside kick. Instead, Bostick tried to make the play only to have the ball go through his Crisco-covered hands and into the waiting arms of Seattle's Chris Matthews.

Paraphrasing the amazing words once uttered by former Twins great Gary Gaetti:

"It's hard to catch the football when you have both hands wrapped around your throat."

7. As bad as Bostick's play was, the Packers still might have won had they knocked down the highest-thrown 2-point conversion pass in NFL history ... and/or had they managed the clock better after taking possession with 1:19 left in regulation and all three time-outs.

I guess Pack coach Mike McCarthy was saving his last two time-outs for next season.

6. Some pretty horrific playoff performances by elite QBs Aaron Rodgers, Andrew Luck, Peyton Manning, Cam Newton and Joe Flacco.

Russell Wilson was no great shakes, either, but at least he came through with the game on the line.

5. New Bears coach John Fox missed out on the Jay Cutler Denver Experience so now he'll get to enjoy the Jay Cutler Chicago Experience.

Hey, Fox got to a Super Bowl with Jake Delhomme and won a playoff game with Tim Tebow, so could Cutler be any worse?

Never mind. I won't answer that question.

4. Brady might already be the greatest QB ever. But if the Patriots win this Super Bowl, there isn't a shred of doubt in my mind. Of course, I said that each of the last two times he got to the big game, too.

At least he doesn't have to face the Giants this time.

3. Seahawks fans are so self-important, crowning themselves as the best in the world. Well, the best fans in the world don't leave a winnable game in the closing minutes.

I'm glad those "12th Man" dopes missed one of the greatest comebacks in NFL history.

2. I hope injured Seahawks DBs Earl Thomas and Richard Sherman can play near peak ability in the Super Bowl because I always want both teams to be as healthy as possible.

Brady vs. the Seattle secondary figures to be an epic battle.

1. How ridiculous that Ohio State tailback (and future NFL star) Zeke Elliott can't go pro because he's only been at college for two years.

Yeah, let's make an NFL-ready kid who already has reached the pinnacle of college football go back out there and take 250-300 handoffs -- and crunching hits -- for free. What a system.

+++

And in non-football news ...

Two weeks in, my father-in-law Frank and I are getting on just fine. We just got back from Aldi -- or as he hilariously calls it, "Aldis" -- where he insisted upon buying 4 yogurts even though he hadn't touched the 3 yogurts he wanted last week.

On Saturday, Robbie had "The Talk" with him, telling him we want and expect him to stay with us for the foreseeable future. She had spoken with his Chicago-area doctor a couple of days earlier and the doctor agreed Frank can no longer drive or live on his own.

He of course wanted to know what was going to happen to all of his stuff -- his townhouse, his two cars (including the one we drove from Chicago to N.C.) and the 700 tons of mostly useless crap he has accumulated over the years. We told him we're not worrying about that immediately.

He has been amazed at all the things I can do on the computer, especially being able to pay his bills without having to write a check, stick it in an envelope, lick a stamp and send it via snail mail. He also has been amazed by my grocery-shopping acumen.

"You only paid 2 bucks for all that?"

Mostly, he has accompanied me here, there and everywhere ... as if he were the octogenarian sidekick in some kind of buddy sitcom.

For one thing, he has gone with me to every basketball game AND practice. At practice, he just sits in the corner and minds his own business. Probably just enjoys being out of the house and surrounded by activity.

+++

And speaking of my team ...

My Scholars Academy Eagles play our biggest game so far this season Tuesday when we meet the "1" in our 10-1 record: Back Creek Christian.

We obviously want to win -- the girls are super-stoked to avenge our only defeat, and I have put in a few new wrinkles -- but the fact is that whether we win or lose, it is highly likely that we will be playing Back Creek again in the championship game a month from now.

So I need to find the right words to let the girls know that a victory guarantees us nothing and a loss doesn't ruin our season in any way.

Hmmm ... those are pretty good words right there, aren't they?

Go Eagles!
^

Busy start to what figures to be an interesting, funky and hopefully fun-filled year

^
If the first week of January was any indication of how the next 51 are going to go, 2015 is gonna be a pretty eventful year.

It started out with Robbie and me arriving home from our Chicago visit, accompanied by her dad, Frank. He is going to be staying with us for, as we told him, "a few weeks." Now, I'm not saying yet that he'll never go back to Chicago to live by himself, but let's put it this way: We had his mail forwarded to us here in N.C., we turned off his cable service, we cleaned all the expired foodstuffs out of his fridge and cabinets (meaning pretty much nothing is left), etc, etc. You get the idea.

Frank is almost 89 years old and is in amazing physical health, but he no longer can live by himself. So it's either us or an assisted-care facility, and we're trying to make this work for at least a spell. We'll see how it goes.

By the way, I'm not too worried about him reading this given that he has never used a computer.

+++

Last Saturday, my new(ish) hometown faves, the Carolina Panthers, scored a resounding playoff victory over the Arizona Cardinals. We went to a sports bar to take in the game with like-minded fans and it was a lot of fun watching Thomas Davis, Luke Kuechly and the rest of our boyz hold the Cardinals to the lowest yardage total in NFL postseason history.

It should be a similarly festive scene this Saturday night when the Panthers take on the Seahawks ... although I'd like "our" chances a lot better if the defending champs would play their third-string QB the way Arizona had to!

Seriously, though, the Seahawks and Panthers tend to play close, low-scoring games, so an upset isn't out of the question if Cam Newton takes care of the football and the D bottles up Russell Wilson.

Two pretty big ifs, I admit.

+++

Meanwhile, my Scholars Academy Eagles went directly from Xmas break to a game on the very first day back to school. We started horribly, fell behind St. Anne's immediately and still trailed 21-10 early in the fourth quarter.

For those unfamiliar with middle-school girls basketball, an 11-point lead with a few minutes to go is the equivalent of a 30-point lead in men's college basketball. In other words, it usually is money in the bank. The girls stayed after it, though, and we whittled into the lead. We turned up the heat on our press, and the shots we had been missing all game suddenly started falling. A layup from Margaret here, a short jumper from Sienna there, a 3-pointer from Ritika here, two free throws from Ruta there. All of a sudden, it's a 2-point game and there's still 2 minutes on the clock.

The St. Anne's coach called time-out and I spent the minute reminding our girls to stay calm and to just keep playing the great basketball they'd been playing the previous several minutes. And how 'bout this for crazy ... they actually listened!

It was 23-23 with 15 seconds left when Olivia, Margaret and Sienna teamed to break St. Anne's press. Eventually, we got the ball to Ruta for the winning layup with 3 seconds to go. Wow! It was the best quarter of basketball in my 2 years as coach, and it couldn't have come at a better time.

The next day, we played again. This time, we rolled to a 51-6 victory in a game we could have won by 100 if I hadn't called off our press in the second quarter. Hey, I'm nothing if not compassionate.

We're now 8-1 at the season's midway point, and that's one more win than we had all last year.

Pretty exciting stuff for a school with zero basketball tradition -- other than the tradition we're building right now!

+++

I also had my 50th personal finance article published on Seeking Alpha.

My previous piece has garnerned more than 54,000 pageviews and 900 comments. To provide a little perspective, anything receiving more than 10,000 views is pretty darn good, and 100 comments is a lot. That article and a few other popular pieces before it helped me to my best quarter of freelance earnings since I started with Seeking Alpha about 2 1/2 years ago.

I didn't expect my latest article to approach that level ... and it hasn't. But it did give me the opportunity to unveil the new logo I designed, so check it out!

+++

Oh, and here's one other cool thing: Robbie was the featured employee on the Levine Children's Hospital Facebook page this week.

So now she's famous for something other than being my Sugar Mama!
^

My Super Bowl pick, but first: The greatest NFL team nobody talks about

^
It's time to make my 2014 Super Bowl prediction, but first ...

A look back at the 40-year anniversary of my favorite team of all time, a team that also is one of the most overlooked in sports history:

The 1973 Miami Dolphins.

"What?" you're no doubt saying. "Every time a team goes 5-0 or 7-0 or 10-0, all anybody talks about are the undefeated Dolphins. They are legendary."

Well, I'm not talking about those Dolphins. The 17-0 team was the 1972 model, capping the season with victory in the '73 Super Bowl.

I'm talking about the following season's team, which went 15-2 and repeated as champs.

What a lot of people don't know is that the '72 Dolphins had an incredibly easy schedule and still struggled to win several of their games. They had to rally to beat a mediocre Minnesota team, squeaked out a one-point victory over a Buffalo squad that would finish 4-9-1, and barely got past both the Jets and Giants, neither of whom made the playoffs. Some of the "struggles" -- if one can say an unbeaten team struggled -- came about because QB Bob Griese was lost in the fifth game with a broken ankle. Although Earl Morrall played superbly in his place, he wasn't Griese.

In the postseason, the Dolphins hung on to beat an OK Cleveland team, used a 37-yard run on a fake punt to get past Pittsburgh and needed to stop a potential game-tying drive by Washington in the Super Bowl. (Don Shula benched Morrall in favor of Griese at halftime against the Steelers with the score tied at 7; Morrall had thrown a TD pass in the first half. How many coaches would have the cajones to do that?)

Hey, I don't mean to tear down the accomplishments of those '72 Dolphins. They did go 17-0, after all, and no team before or since in the history of North American major pro sports has been able to get through an entire season unbeaten and untied.

Plus, it was that team that captured the heart of a 12-year-old kid from Connecticut who was just starting to become a big-time sports fan. (Like many kids, I chose to root for a winner.) So believe me, I loved the '72 Dolphins and respect them to this day.

Still, I needed to discuss how they went 17-0 to put things in perspective.

Confident, skilled and healthy, the following season's Dolphins were a steamroller. Yes, they lost their second game 12-7 to Oakland, but they avenged that defeat in the playoffs by crushing the Raiders. They also lost their next-to-last regular-season game when Shula chose to rest most of his stars. In their 12 regular-season victories, the Dolphins were never seriously challenged.

My aunt and uncle, who lived in Miami, regularly mailed me newspaper clippings so I could keep up with my team. (Note to parents: Please explain to your kids what a newspaper was and what mail was.) I cut out pictures of my favorite players and taped them all over my walls. (Sorry, Mom and Dad.)

The Dolphins began the playoffs with an 18-point rout of the Bengals at the Orange Bowl -- a game witnessed by a sellout crowd that included yours truly. I was visiting my aunt and uncle, and they knew linebacker Nick Buoniconti's secretary, and she delivered a game ticket for me -- one of my all-time thrills as a sports fan. That was followed by a 17-point beatdown of the hated Raiders for the AFC title.

And then came the almost anticlimactic 24-7 thrashing of the Vikings in the Super Bowl. The Dolphins led 24-0 before the Vikings knew what hit them and my all-time favorite pro athlete, Larry Csonka, rushed for a then-record 145 yards. The Dolphins so dominated the line of scrimmage that Griese only needed to throw 7 passes all game.

What a team. Csonka, Griese, Buoniconti, Paul Warfield, Mercury Morris, Jim Kiick, Bill Stanfill, Manny Fernandez, Jake Scott, Dick Anderson, one of the great offensive lines ever assembled (Wayne Moore, Bob Kuechenberg, Jim Langer, Larry Little, Norm Evans), Garo Yepremian, Larry Seiple and, of course, Shula.

Before the 1972 season, the Dolphins were still called the No Names. By the end of 1973, every football follower everywhere knew who they were: two-time champions.

They could have made it three straight but they were seriously distracted in 1974 after Csonka, Warfield and Kiick decided to play out their contracts and leave for the fledgling World Football League. Still, the Dolphins went 11-3 before falling in the final minute to the Raiders in a game regarded as one of the best ever. By '75, with Csonka & Co. gone, the Dolphins no longer were among the elite.

I remained a Dolphins fan for about two more decades. I was energized in 1979 after Csonka returned for one more season. They went 10-6, including lopsided victories over Chicago and Green Bay -- which were important for my ego as a Marquette student surrounded by Bears and Packers fans.

In 1983, the football gods delivered Dan Marino, who somehow went undrafted until Shula grabbed him with the No. 27 pick. I loved watching Marino pass the football so flawlessly and accurately. With a flick of his wrist, the ball would go 50 yards into the arms of Mark Clayton or Mark Duper. I was living in Madison, Wis., at the time and on Oct. 30 of that season, I took my new bride Roberta to the garden spot of Rockford. Why? Because the Dolphins-Rams game wasn't on TV in Madison but was in Rockford. The Dolphins won, with Marino passing for 2 TDs and even running for one. (Poor Roberta had little choice but to be a Dolphins fan, and my kids would be, too, at least for awhile.)

In 1985, I went to Minneapolis to be AP's sportswriter there and, over time, I became less of a fan of the teams I had followed in my youth. I gradually dropped my allegiance to the Yankees, Knicks and Rangers, but it took quite a bit longer to get the Dolphins out of my system. When Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga forced out Shula so he could hire Jimmy Johnson after the 1995 season, I lost most interest in the team. When Marino retired after the '99 season, I was officially done with the Dolphins.

These days, I could give a flyin' hoot if the Dolphins win or lose. I'm a Panthers fan! But I will never forget the thrills I had watching Csonka and the rest of them -- my first "sports crush."

And I honestly do believe that the 1973 Dolphins were better than their undefeated predecessors.

+++

OK, that was one long introduction to my prediction for tomorrow's big game.

Seattle will control both lines of scrimmage and will make things difficult for Peyton Manning. He will end up with better stats than Russell Wilson, but Wilson will be named MVP after having led an efficient attack and having made a couple of big scoring plays.

Although I like Manning and won't mind being wrong about this, he hasn't seen a defense quite like Seattle's all season.

Seahawks 24, Broncos 19.

See, now wasn't it worth getting through all that stuff about the 1973 Dolphins and my history as a fan?

Now go call your bookie and get rich.

You're welcome!
^

Flag NFL for ruining the product

^
The scab refs just handed a final-play victory to the Seahawks, who beat the Packers thanks to an absolutely awful call on what should have been a game-ending interception.

Were this an aberration, it would have been bad enough. But it keeps happening -- two, four, six, 10 times a game. And now it's happened at the end of a Monday Night Football game, with every intelligent observer (including millions watching at home) knowing what the call should have been.

Roger Goodell, the self-styled Mr. Integrity, and the NFL's skinflint owners should be ashamed of the product they are foisting upon the viewing public -- not to mention the hard-working players and coaches whose livelihoods are being adversely affected by a bunch of gazillionaires who are too cheap to pay relative peanuts to the regular refs.
^

Today's High 5 - NFL Playoff Edition

^
5. Just wondering if Cam Newton's father will be his agent in the NFL, too. And, if so, will Mr. Newton manage to get his son even more money than he did at the Triple-A level?

4. Ray Lewis vs. Ben Roethlisberger ... now there's a matchup of upstanding citizens. Can we root for both buses to run out of gas on the way to the stadium? As good as the Steelers are, they were no better at home this season (5-3) than the Ravens were on the road. So I'm smelling a road upset here. Either that, or Troy Polamalu needs to change shampoo brands again. Ravens 20, Steelers 19.

3. If the Packers really do have a running game, as certainly seemed to be the case in their playoff opener, they could run the table this postseason. Aaron Rodgers and their D are that good. Won't be easy to win in Atlanta, though. I mean, just ask any of the Atlanta franchises how difficult it is to win playoff games there! Packers 24, Falcons 20.

2. Despite going 7-9, the Seahawks got to host the Saints in their playoff opener. If only they had gone 4-12, they'd have gotten to host the Bears this Sunday, too. I'm trying to figure out if there is any possible way the Bears can blow this one, and I'm failing. We'll see if Jay Cutler proves me wrong by throwing to the same DB 4 times. Bears 27, Seahawks 10.

1. Gotta love all the trash-talking leading up to the Jets-Pats game. But enough about Rex Ryan. Given that Mark Sanchez usually messes up about four times a game ... and Tom Brady doesn't ... I'm going with Brady. Besides, without that player-tripping dude on their sideline, what chance do the Jets really have? Patriots 23, Jets 13.
^

How 'bout a Big Mac for Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is all about tradition, so I'm back with my 13th edition of Turkey of the Year.

This tradition dates back to 1998, when Michael McCaskey had so mismanaged the Bears that his mommy took the team presidency away from him and sent him to his room without supper.

Since then, a veritable Who's Who of losers, lunkheads, dopers, dorks, bullies and boors have earned Top Turkey honors: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron (2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009).

You'll notice that most of those fine folks had Chicago connections. Even Knight (Big Ten) and Weis (Notre Dame) were in the region. That's because I columnized and blogged mostly about Chicago sports during those years.

Now that I'm a man of the world (North Carolina is part of the world, right?), the 2010 Turkey Countdown has a much different look.

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor and one of the great guys I ever encountered in journalism.

So let's get to it ...

10. OMAR MINAYA. Architect of the most expensive losers in baseball. Hey, at least the Mets were champs of something during Minaya's run as General Mismanager!

9. BOBBY KNIGHT. Mr. I Hate The Media is now part of the media. And on this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that most members of the sports media are better at their jobs than Bobby is at his. The man is so awful as an ESPN analyst that I find myself wishing Dickie V were on the telecast instead. Really.

8. BRETT FAVRE. Seems the only thing he can make up his mind about is being a sleazebag.

7. MLB UMPS. I get that they have a tough job and that it's almost unfair to judge them based upon super-slo-mo replays. But these guys are so routinely bad that it's almost surprising when they get big calls right. And unlike Jim Joyce, most umps take no responsibility for their incompetence.

6. PETE CARROLL and REGGIE BUSH. They teamed up to do what no opponent could: bring USC football to its knees. They didn't even stick around to deal with the carnage they wrought, having bolted for the big bucks of the NFL. Makes you want to tell Reggie what he can do with that trophy.

5. BEN ROETHLISBERGER. Big Ben ... Good QB ... Bad Guy.

4. BRUCE PEARL. Years after he ratted out a dirty Illinois program, we learn that he's been running an even dirtier program at Tennessee. Wearing ugly orange blazers isn't punishment enough for this phony jerk.

3. LeBRON JAMES. Put on one of the most unnecessary, self-serving productions in the history of the world. But at least his talents have helped the Heat to an 8-7 start.

2. TIGER WOODS. Marriage? Over. PGA Tour victories? Zip. Ryder Cup? Back in Europe. New endorsement deals? Nada. No. 1 ranking? Now belongs to Lee Westwood. Talk about a rough year for the guy who had been the world's dominant athlete for more than a decade. I guess only bad things happen when a guy can't control his Eldrick.

And now ... drumstick roll, please ... the 2010 Turkey of the Year:

MARK McGWIRE.

Big Mac finally admitted he spent years juicing - and spent years lying about it. But even his admission was full of misleading statements.

He claimed he only juiced so he could stay healthy enough to play but then said his juicing had nothing to do with his home-run totals. Uh ... hello? How do you get the HRs without staying on the field? It's hard to believe McGwire was too stupid to make the connection, so we'll just assume he was being his deceitful self.

He obviously came clean for only two reasons: One, to clear his conscience. And two, to get the job as Cardinals hitting coach for his Chief Enabler, Tony La Russa. McGwire then worked wonders with St. Louis batters, who finished in the middle of the pack in most categories. Remember: This is a group that includes the best hitter in baseball.

Redbird bats really slumbered down the stretch. And as McGwire's charges faded, the Cardinals handed Cincinnati the division title.

Sadly, Cardinals fans - who like to call themselves baseball's best - took every opportunity to cheer their beloved cheater, liar and fraud.

Turns out, they got exactly what they deserved in 2010.
^

Lofa Tatupu and then Jay Cutler? Please!

^

Wow. Not a single Chicago Bear is ranked in the top 56 on Sporting News' 2009 list of the NFL's 100 greatest players. And get this: Jay Cutler is No. 68, right between Lofa Tatupu and Kris Jenkins.

Sixty-freakin'-eight!!!

This is all the information anybody needs to realize that the list is a complete sham, my friends.

Peyton Manning No. 1? Just wait 'til he has to go head-to-head in the Super Bowl against a team not quarterbacked by Rex! Bears 40, Colts 1.

Tom Brady No. 2? Let's see if he even makes it to Week 2 this year.

Adrian Peterson No. 3? Clearly, this selection was influenced by the superior Bears tailback of the same name.

I mean, who did these rankings? Packer fans, cloistered monks and Josh McDaniels' Cutler-hating staff?

Obviously, this should have been the NFL's top 10:

1. Jay Cutler. Nuff said.

2. More Jay Cutler. He throws so nice, he gets ranked twice.

3. Devin Hester. That speed ... Jay's arm ... pure magic!

4. Earl Bennett. You know that age-old football saying: There's no passer-catcher combo like one from Vanderbilt.

5. Greg Olsen. Was a great tight end even with Orton throwing to him.

6. Dez Clark. Ditto.

7. Matt Forte. Delightfully nuanced with a delicate bouquet ... nobody hands off like Cutler.

8. Olin Kreutz. The only center lucky enough to have Jay's hands you-know-where.

9. Orlando Pace. Knowing he must protect Cutler's blind side is all the motivation any left tackle needs.

10. Brian Urlacher. Just for being Jay's pal.

There. Glad that's settled. Now let's do the list of NFL teams that will go undefeated, untied and unscored-upon in 2009:

1. Bears.