Baldy's Bracket

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No time to go into my thought processes. Then again, delving too deep inside my brain is dangerous for man or beast, so let's get right to my NCAA hoops predictions now that the play-in preliminaries have been played. (Legitimate upset picks are in italics.)

SOUTH

Kentucky over Western Kentucky
UConn over Iowa St.
Wichita St. over VCU
Indiana over New Mexico St.
Colorado over UNLV (11-6 upset)
Baylor over S. Dakota St.
Xavier over Notre Dame
Duke over Lehigh

Kentucky over UConn
Wichita St. over Indiana
Baylor over Colorado
Duke over Xavier

Kentucky over Wichita St.
Baylor over Duke

Kentucky over Baylor

WEST

Michigan St. over Long Island
Memphis over St. Louis
Long Beach St. over New Mexico (12-5 upset)
Louisville over Davidson
Colorado St. over Murray St. (11-6 upset)
Marquette over BYU
Florida over Virginia
Missouri over Norfolk St.

Memphis over Michigan St. (8-1 upset)
Long Beach St. over Louisville (12-4 upset)
Marquette over Colorado St.
Missouri over Florida

Memphis over Long Beach St.
Marquette over Missouri

Marquette over Memphis

EAST

Syracuse over UNC-Asheville
Kansas St. over S. Mississippi
Vanderbilt over Harvard
Wisconsin over Montana
Cincinnati over Texas
Florida St. over St. Bonaventure
West Virginia over Gonzaga
Ohio St. over Loyola Md.

Syracuse over Kansas St.
Vanderbilt over Wisconsin
Florida St. over Cincinnati
Ohio St. over West Virginia

Vanderbilt over Syracuse (5-1 upset)
Florida St. over Ohio St.

Vanderbilt over Florida State

MIDWEST

North Carolina over Vermont
Creighton over Alabama
Temple over S. Florida
Michigan over Ohio
N.C. State over San Diego St. (11-6 upset)
Georgetown over Belmont
St. Mary's over Purdue
Kansas over Detroit

North Carolina over Creighton
Temple over Michigan
Georgetown over N.C. State
Kansas over St. Mary's

North Carolina over Temple
Kansas over Georgetown

Kansas over North Carolina

FINAL FOUR

Marquette over Kentucky
Kansas over Vanderbilt

CHAMPIONSHIP

Marquette over Kansas

I didn't start out meaning to sound like the Marquette alum and fan that I am. But as I went along, I legitimately believed my Golden Warriors were good enough to win every game ... so what am I supposed to do? Pick against them?

The last time I picked them to reach the Final Four was 2003, and they did.

Ipso fatso, cash in those 401ks and IRAs and bet it all on Marquette, kiddies!

(Having said that, I hope my lads don't lose their first game to BYU!!!!)
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Lofa Tatupu and then Jay Cutler? Please!

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Wow. Not a single Chicago Bear is ranked in the top 56 on Sporting News' 2009 list of the NFL's 100 greatest players. And get this: Jay Cutler is No. 68, right between Lofa Tatupu and Kris Jenkins.

Sixty-freakin'-eight!!!

This is all the information anybody needs to realize that the list is a complete sham, my friends.

Peyton Manning No. 1? Just wait 'til he has to go head-to-head in the Super Bowl against a team not quarterbacked by Rex! Bears 40, Colts 1.

Tom Brady No. 2? Let's see if he even makes it to Week 2 this year.

Adrian Peterson No. 3? Clearly, this selection was influenced by the superior Bears tailback of the same name.

I mean, who did these rankings? Packer fans, cloistered monks and Josh McDaniels' Cutler-hating staff?

Obviously, this should have been the NFL's top 10:

1. Jay Cutler. Nuff said.

2. More Jay Cutler. He throws so nice, he gets ranked twice.

3. Devin Hester. That speed ... Jay's arm ... pure magic!

4. Earl Bennett. You know that age-old football saying: There's no passer-catcher combo like one from Vanderbilt.

5. Greg Olsen. Was a great tight end even with Orton throwing to him.

6. Dez Clark. Ditto.

7. Matt Forte. Delightfully nuanced with a delicate bouquet ... nobody hands off like Cutler.

8. Olin Kreutz. The only center lucky enough to have Jay's hands you-know-where.

9. Orlando Pace. Knowing he must protect Cutler's blind side is all the motivation any left tackle needs.

10. Brian Urlacher. Just for being Jay's pal.

There. Glad that's settled. Now let's do the list of NFL teams that will go undefeated, untied and unscored-upon in 2009:

1. Bears.

Cutler to Broncos: Take that!

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The List

Five observations out of the Bears' make-believe victory over the Broncos:

5. Mark Anderson got a sack. Devin Hester had a game-changing punt return. Brian Urlacher and the first-string defense never let the Broncos near the end zone. You know, if Rex Grossman had shown up and thrown five interceptions, I'd have thought it was 2006 all over again.

4. When you refer to former All-Pro left tackle Orlando Pace, make sure you accentuate the former. Broncos defensive end Elvis Dumervil made Pace look like a statue. Repeatedly.

3. With jilted Denverites expressing their hatred for Jay Cutler, it was an unusually fun make-believe game. For a half, anyway. As soon as Lovie Smith pulled Cutler, it was time to watch True Blood. So I'll have to take your word for it if you tell me Caleb Hanie is the next Dan Marino.

2. Before leaving with a boo-boo, Kyle Orton didn't look half bad. He should grow back the beard, though.

1. Even though he temporarily cost the Bears a TD by throwing the ball late and behind his receiver on his one deep pass, and even though he risked interceptions by trying to force a few he shouldn't have, Cutler was impressive. He handled the pressure of his return to Denver well, eventually silencing the fans who were taunting him. The 2-minute drill he led was a thing of beauty. He was nimble both in and out of the pocket. And he spread the ball around nicely. Perhaps equally important for the Bears: When Dumervil delivered a late (but not damaging) hit on Cutler, the QB's teammates had his back.

The Bald Truth

Cutler and most other players worth watching probably won't play more than one series in Thursday's final make-believe game. So the Bears, of course, plan to refund every ticket-holder's money.

Of course.

The Quote

"You saw Jay Cutler and Greg Olsen hooking up ... and these two guys are buddies. Greg Olsen just recently married, and it's a threesome ..." - Cris Collinsworth

With four months to go, folks, this is the leader in the clubhouse as quote of the year.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Like pretty much everybody else with an IQ higher than a stapler, I knew Collinsworth would be better than John Madden. I just didn't realize how much better until I heard him in action with Al Michaels.

You know, I actually might be able to watch some Sunday Night Football this season.

Jay Cutler: all potential, no proof (so far)

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Jay Cutler was good in Pretend Game 2 for the Bears. One week earlier, he was bad. And here's what both mean:

Zip.

Patience, people.

Even a month into the real season, it will be too early to rate Cutler's play. For that matter, Dec. 1 also will be too early.

Right now, here's what we know for sure about Jay Cutler:

He has a great arm. He is an excellent athlete. He can be a selfish jerk at times. He can be a decent teammate at times. He went to Vanderbilt, which seems to be the Bears' favorite developmental team. He wears No. 6. He is rich and is bound to get richer.

Oh, and one more thing: He has proven precious little as an NFL QB.

Last Oct. 5, the Broncos were 4-1 and Cutler had ratings of 93.3 or better in four of the team's five games. He had 10 TDs and only 4 INTs. He undoubtedly was one of the league's top QBs.

From that point on, Denver went 4-7. Cutler had only four games with ratings higher than 78. His 15 TDs were offset by 14 INTs.

Needing to win only one of their final three games to make the playoffs, the Broncos lost all three - by a combined score of 112-54. In the process, Cutler whizzed himself: 2 TDs, 4 INTs, 0 playoffs.

Then, during the offseason, he overreacted to the Broncos’ failed pursuit of Matt Cassel, finally pouting and whining his way from Denver to Chicago.

The expectations and hopes and dreams of Bears fans? Those tell us nothing about the latest Bears Savior.

All we know for certain is that the one time Jay Cutler had a chance to carry his team, he failed. Then he bailed.

Best Bears QB since Sid Luckman? Ask me again in February, OK?