Vinci over Serena: Upset of this century (so far)?

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'Nova over Georgetown? Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson? Team U.S.A. over Russian hockey's Big Red Machine? Eli's Giants over Brady's Pats?

I don't think it's exaggerating at all to put unranked Roberta Vinci's stunning U.S. Open semifinal victory over No. 1 Serena Williams on the short list of Greatest Upsets In Modern Sports History.

Williams, probably the greatest female tennis player ever, came in needing to win only two more matches to become the first Grand Slam winner since 1988 -- a fact that made Friday's action (and outcome) all the more riveting.

While Serena spent much of the match screaming at herself -- usually her trademark, "Come on!" -- Vinci remained almost unbelievably calm. However, she did provide one magically emotional moment midway through the third set.

It was 3-3 with Serena serving at 40-30, one point away from finally taking control of the match. She fired one haymaker after another, and Vinci kept returning the ball. Vinci made a nice cross-court shot that Williams chased down, leading the New York crowd to cheer. But Vinci followed with a great play to win the point and make it deuce.

With the crowd still roaring, Vinci put her hand to her ear. She then raised both hands and pumped her arms, as she repeatedly said, "What about me? What about me?"

In other words: Enough with Serena and the Slam. I'm here, too, and I'm not going anywhere!

And she wasn't. She ended up breaking Serena's serve and then holding hers to go up 5-3. After Williams held serve to make it 5-4, Vinci calmly served out the match.

As was the case most of the final two sets, Vinci just kept putting the ball in play and letting the overanxious Williams make mistake after mistake after mistake. I swear, I would have easily returned a few of the second serves Vinci lobbed in there, but Williams kept firing the ball into the net or beyond the baseline.

When it was over and she had received a quick handshake from Serena, Vinci sat down and buried her face in her hands. She was overcome by the enormity of the moment.

Eventually, she agreed to talk to ESPN in an interview broadcast live in the stadium. I will say it is one of the most stirring, most honest interviews I have heard in many a year.

Take a listen HERE if you haven't heard it already.

One of the great parts of it was Vinci admitting that, before the match, she never thought she could possibly beat Serena Williams.

This is why we love sports, folks, especially championship-level sports. Anything really CAN happen.

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I wanted Serena to win because I enjoy watching history in the making. She didn't win the Slam, so now she'll go for it again next year.

One thing I am tired of hearing about, though, is "the Serena Slam" -- winning 4 straight majors over the span of two seasons. Even she calls it that and talks about how special it was. Tiger Woods did the same in golf and folks called it "the Tiger Slam."

Because those terms suddenly became common, it led some in the media to call what Serena was chasing "the Calendar Slam."

But please.

It's the Grand Slam. Serena might claim that "the Serena Slam" is every bit as special -- because she no longer can win the REAL Slam.

There was a reason she was as uptight as she was, and that's because she had a chance to make real history.

Calling something else "historic" doesn't make it equally historic.

Serena had a great run, but she fell short. There's no shame in that.
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It's Turkey Time!!

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Politicians don't get to have all the fun. Jocks get to be turkeys, too, which is why I count down the top sports gobblers every Thanksgiving.

This tradition dates back to my first year as Copley Newspapers columnist, 1998, when Michael McCaskey had so mismanaged the Bears that his mommy took the team presidency away from him and demoted him to official Halas Hall gardener.

Since then, it's been one doofus, doper or downer after another: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron(2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004, an unprecedented back-to-back showing!); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009); Mark McGwire (2010).

(You'll notice that from 1998-2009, most of those fine folks had Chicago connections. That's because I columnized and blogged mostly about Chicago sports during those years. Having moved to Krispy Kreme Kountry last year, the Turkey Countdown has a different look.)

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor and one of the great guys I ever encountered in journalism.

And now for the countdown ...

10. WILLIAMSES. Rough year for Stevie, Serena, Hank Jr. and Ken. Oh, and last we knew, Ted's head was still frozen somewhere in Arizona.

9. TIGER WOODS. Remember when he used to ... I don't know ... be really good at golf?

8. RON ZOOK. Who's got next? Somebody? Anybody? Please?

7. DALE EARNHARDT JR. & JR HILDEBRAND. On the very same May Sunday, Earnhardt and Hildebrand put on a clinic on how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. With the checkered flag just seconds away, Hildebrand crashed into the wall, making a winner of Dan Wheldon at the Indy 500. Hours later, a half-mile from the finish line at the Coca-Cola 600 in Charlotte, Earnhardt ran out of gas as Kevin Harvick claimed victory.

6. ADAM DUNN. Arguably had the worst offensive season in baseball history. The only reason I say "arguably" is that the White Sox stopped playing their $56 million man the last couple of months, keeping him from putting up some truly eye-popping failure numbers.

5. JIM TRESSEL. Really? You really have to cheat to win football games at Ohio State? I mean, I'd understand it if Zook did it. But Tressel?

4. LeBRON JAMES. Selfish and clueless, he is a perfectly good representative on this list for all the millionaire players, owners, agents and lawyers responsible for shutting down the NBA. (Oh, and we're still waiting for him to start delivering those seven titles after taking his talents to South Beach.)

3. CARLOS ZAMBRANO. He's been a few cards short of a deck for a decade now, but the dude I call Cra-Z completely lost his mind when he threw at Atlanta batters because he couldn't get them out. Once just a bit quirky, Cra-Z has joined Milton Bradley, Phil Nevin, Kent Mercker, Dave Kingman and a select few others on the list of least cuddly Cubbies of the last 40 years.

2. JOSH BECKETT, JOHN LACKEY & JON LESTER. Booze-swilling baseball buddies put the "club" back into clubhouse. And the choke back into the Red Sox.

And now -- drumstick roll, please -- the 2011 Turkey of the Year ...

1. JOE PATERNO (& HIS FLOCK).

JoePa quietly passed the buck upon learning that a sexual predator was molesting kids right in his locker room.

When the allegations finally came to light years later, thousands of students protested -- not because kids had gotten raped on JoePa's watch but because Penn State fired the old ostrich who had stuck his head in the sand.

I'm not sure if this says more about our deification of coaches, our societal woes or the value of a Penn State education.

All I know is that JoePa is a doting father and grandfather many times over ... and if he had received word that one or more of his progeny had been molested, he wouldn't have just told his boss and then moved on.

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What would J.C. do? Throw 4 picks!

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The Bald Truth

Believe me, I'd be saying this even if Bears Savior J.C. had thrown four TD passes to beat the Packers by 20:

It's too early to judge Jay Cutler.

Yes, Bears Savior J.C. threw four interceptions, would have thrown four more if Green Bay DBs weren't wearing oven mitts, couldn't rally his new team to victory at the end and spent most of the game looking as if he hadn't taken part in a single preseason practice.

Yes, he contributed to the Bears having to waste all three second-half timeouts.

Yes, he was bad. Not quite Jonathan Quinn bad, but certainly Cade McNown bad.

BUT IT'S ONLY ONE FREAKIN' GAME!

It was J.C.'s first game with a new team, new coaches and new receivers. Not to mention new expectations that are stupidly high.

If he's still playing like this in October, though ... well, do the Bears still have Moses Moreno on speed-dial?

The Quote I

"How funny is it that you see Kyle Orton in Denver chillin' right now at 1-0?" - Rodney Harrison, NBC studio analyst.

Indeed, K.O. leads J.C., 1 miracle to none.

The List

Ten observations from the Bears-Packers game:

1. Just a few minutes after he was called for a phantom penalty that kept Chicago's go-ahead drive alive, Al Harris picked off Bears Savior J.C. to launch Green Bay's all-the-cheese-you-can-eat celebration. This is what's called poetic justice.

2. Give Bears Savior J.C. credit for his sticktoitiveness. Two times he tried to throw passes right to Tramon Williams. Two times the Packers' DB dropped passes that hit him in his hands. But doggone it if J.C. didn't finally hit Williams in stride late in the first half.

3. How nice of Adewale Ogunleye to emerge from his two-year hibernation now that he's in a contract season.

4. I'm a big fan of NBC's Cris Collinsworth ... but if he pointed out one more time that the Packers looked much sharper in preseason than they did Sunday, I was going to climb aboard Air Nadel, fly to Green Bay and go all Serena Williams on him. The preseason means zilch because opposing defenses show nothing, and Collinsworth is smart enough to know it. C'mon, dude!

5. Remember Nate Vasher?

6. How wild that Bears long snapper Patrick Mannelly thought he was Peyton Manning and called an audible, with the bungled fake punt handing the Packers a gift field goal. How crazy that the Bears give their long snapper such autonomy. And how desperate of Lovie Smith to give away a precious time-out by challenging the number of players the Packers had on the field. I mean, if the Bears wanted to go 0-for-3, they would have acquired Milton Bradley, not Jay Cutler.

7. Whether he's overrated, underrated or just plain rated, Brian Urlacher is important to the Bears, and if his dislocated wrist isn't located real soon, they have little chance of contending in a very tough division. Hunter Hillenmeyer? What, it isn't incredible enough that 3/11ths of the Bears' starting offense played at Vanderbilt?

8. Packers QB Aaron Rodgers wasn't very good, either, but he came through when it counted and didn't throw any interceptions. That he twice missed long TD passes to receivers who had beaten Bears DBs by several yards should make any honest Bears fan plenty worried about the D.

9. On the decisive snap - Rodgers' winning 50-yard heave to wide-open Greg Jennings on a third-and-1 play-action pass with 1:11 to go - Lovie's defense was bamboozled by Mike McCarthy's offense. And now that he's calling the defensive plays, Lovie has no scapegoat except himself.

10. If Collinsworth, a former star receiver, was right about inept Chicago wideouts costing Cutler dearly because they couldn't make proper adjustments on the fly, then GM Jerry Angelo was wrong about Bears Savior J.C. being able to turn a chickenspit receiving corps into chicken salad.

The Quote II

"It was a tough night for Jay. And when you're gonna be the franchise quarterback, how do you respond in tough situations? First play interception in the two-minute drill. That's not what Chicago gave up two number-one draft choices for." - Tony Dungy, NBC studio analyst.

Welcome to The Bears Savior J.C. Bandwagon, folks. Easy-on, easy-off.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

When calling for a fake punt on fourth-and-11 from your own 26 in the fourth quarter of a two-point game on the road, Mannelly can't just think the opponent has too many men on the field. He must be absolutely, positively, 100 percent certain.

See, NFL teams don't hire long snappers because they're deep thinkers.

Of course, if the play had worked, Mannelly would have been Snappy McGenius to all the fanatics who reside in Bear Country.

But it didn't. So he isn't.

Serena's effin' bedtime tales

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Just a quick bedtime story, kids.

Once upon a time, there was a great tennis player named Serena. She didn't like a call that the line judge made in her U.S. Open semifinal match against another great player named Kim, so Serena huffed and she puffed and she screamed:

"If I could, I would take this (effin') ball and shove it down your (effin') throat ... "

Serena then was penalized a point, which ended the match.

And Kim lived happily ever after.

The End.