Pitino? A slimeball? Who woulda thunk it?

^

The Bald Truth

Good for Louisville, standing by their man.

Yes, Rick Pitino is a hypocrite, a devout Catholic who more than coveted his neighbor's ass. Yes, he's a scuzball and a weasel and a liar - traits he shares with most big-time college coaches ... and, sadly, with most members of the human male population.

Believe me, I'm not excusing his behavior. All I'm asking is: What is Louisville supposed to do? Fire him?

Ridiculous.

Pitino is a basketball coach, and a damn good one. Louisville is not a religious institution, it's a basketball factory.

Pitino didn't get caught cheating to get a kid into school who didn't belong there (notice I said "didn't get caught"). He got caught cheating on his wife.

I wouldn't blame her for firing him. It would be silly and disingenuous for Louisville to do likewise.

The Numbers

35-18 ... Amount the Cubs have been outscored since Lou Piniella got the heave-ho for arguing with the umps Sunday in Colorado. (And most of the Cubs' runs were of the meaningless, end-of-blowout variety.)

0-4 ... Cubs' record since Lou got tossed.

3 ... Games the Cubs dropped to St. Louis in the standings since Lou got ejected.

Jeesh. Imagine what would have happened had the manager not fired up his troops!

The Balder Truth

Going out on the limb to say that the Cardinals will be mighty tough to beat if Matt Holliday, batting behind Albert Pujols, keeps hitting .486.

That, kiddies, is what's called an impact trade.

Game Improvement

The first time I played Beverly Country Club was in 1999. That was so long ago, my playing partner at the media event was Skip Bayless, who has gone on to do a few other notable things since he bolted from the Chicago Tribune.

The thing I remember most about that round: I played so poorly that, on the way home, I called the golf pro I know and told him I needed a lesson immediately.

I wouldn't say I was scarred for life, but if anyone asked me to name the toughest course I ever played, I answered "Beverly Country Club" without hesitation. (Bayless, a much better player than me, had a brutal time of it, too.)

Score? Please. I stopped writing it down after two holes. To be kind, I'll call it 140. I lost the dozen balls I brought with me, the sleeve of balls I was given for the event and several more golf balls I had found during the day while hunting for those I had lost.

My standard line: "There are something like 8,000 trees there, and I was behind every one of them."

Well, I'm pleased to say that they've cut down a lot of those trees to make the course more beautiful and more playable for their members. Those who compete in the USGA Senior Amateur there next month will find a stern but fair test of golf.

I got to revisit Beverly on Wednesday. This time, I shot a 101. As usual, I rarely strung two consecutive good shots together. I Watsoned an 8-foot birdie putt on my next-to-last hole and then, needing only a bogey on the last for a 99, I choked my way to a triple.

For the most part, though, my game at least vaguely resembled golf.

Oh, and I played the entire round with the same ball, which sometimes doesn't happen even when I'm mini-golfing.

So I can't wait to return to Beverly in 10 years. If my math is correct, I'm pretty much guaranteed to shoot 62.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

And speaking of golf ...

Yes, Tiger Woods has won two straight tournaments and seems to be rounding into championship form. I'll still take the field in this weekend's PGA Championship at Hazeltine.

OK, if I have to pick a name other than Eldrick, I'll go with ...

Steve Stricker to drop off the short list of greatest players never to have won a major.

Sentimental favorite gags ... and bald dude rules!

^

The Bald Truth

Tom Watson choked!

He choked on No. 18, when he cost himself the championship by never giving his 8-foot putt a fighting chance. And he choked so many times during his four-hole playoff with Stewart Cink that paramedics should have been called to Turnberry to remove the blockage from his throat.

This doesn't erase the 59-year-old Hall of Famer's accomplishments over the weekend and, especially, over his glorious career. And it certainly doesn't discredit the victory by Cink, a grinder who took advantage of his opponent's mistakes and therefore deserved to win The Open Championship.

But to ignore the obvious - or to couch it in kinder terms - just because nice-guy Watson was the sentimental favorite would be as silly as it would be disingenuous.

Tom Watson choked away the Claret Jug, choked away his shot at history. It wasn't a choke of VandeVeldeian proportions, but it was a choke nonetheless.

There. I said it.

The TV Exchange

Paul Azinger: "For Stewart Cink ... this has to be difficult for him because he's a fan of Tom Watson as well."

Curtis Strange: "Oh, he doesn't care right now. Tom Watson's standing between he and that trophy."

Bravo, Curtis! I like Azinger, but jeesh ... what a dopey thing to say.

The Balder Truth

After Cink sank his 12-foot birdie putt on the 72nd hole - and followed that clutch shot by kissing his golf ball in celebration - I found myself rooting for the guy whose infamous missed bunny of a putt cost him dearly at the 2001 U.S. Open.

Admittedly, part of it was because Cink removed his cap to display a shiny dome that's almost a mirror image of my own: totally bald except for a ring of stubble just north of the neck region. (CHECK IT OUT!)

A bigger part of it, however, was contrarianism. 

If everybody else - including (especially?) the sickeningly non-objective folks at ABC - was rooting for Tom, somebody outside the Cink family needed to root for Stewart.

Tee It Up!

After spending much of the last four days watching the action at Turnberry, I am totally psyched for the round of golf I'm going to play Monday with my buddy (and former Copley colleague), Gene Chamberlain.

We're playing Settler's Hill, a links-style course built on the site of an old garbage dump in the Western 'burb of Batavia. 

Mounds ... tall grass ... high winds. Cool.

Not a penny will be on the line, just pride ... and I expect I'll choke often. 

I'll probably even fail to advance the ball out of the fescue a couple of times, just like Watson did during the playoff.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

See? Even though Tiger was back home with his tigress and cubs, a major golf tournament turned out to be utterly compelling sports theater.

The lead changed hands often, the shotmaking was incredible (and sometimes incredibly bad), the storylines were dramatic and mounds of memories were created.

As usual, championship-level sport provides all the reality TV anybody ever needs.

Hey, TNT: A little more new Tiger, a little less old Tiger

^

The Bald Truth

Some international golf experts have called 17-year-old Ryo Ishikawa, "the Japanese Tiger Woods." It sure would have been nice if TNT had let the rest of us judge for ourselves.

You'd have thought the Royal & Ancient's decision to pair The Japanese Tiger with The American Tiger (as well as Lee Westwood) for the first round of the British Open would have perfectly set up the cable network's Ryo-vs.-Eldrick coverage. 

You'd have thought wrong.  In TNT's camera eye, Ishikawa barely existed.

Even though young Ryo outplayed old Tiger just about all day, the fine folks at TNT seemingly went out of their way to avoid showing anything Ishikawa did.

On No. 16, after Woods and Westwood sent their approaches into the drink, did we then get to see Ishikawa expertly avoid the same fate? Nope. TNT switched to No. 1 for a look at has-been Ernie Els.

On No. 17, after Woods messed up to remain at 1-over, did we get to see Ishikawa make his birdie putt to go to 2-under? Nope. It was time to take a look at American Anthony Kim on the first hole.

Finally, on 18, after one more Tiger miss, the TNT people let us see Ryo make his par putt ... but probably only because network honchos knew they'd get a shot of Ryo and Tiger shaking hands.

Same pairing again for Friday's second round. If the results are anywhere near the same - or even if they aren't - it sure would be nice to get a decent look at this 5-foot-7, 140-pound kid's game.

The Choice

1. John Daly's green-and-yellow picnic tablecloth pants.

2. Ben Curtis' pink shirt.

3. Ian Poulter's Union Jack ensemble.

4. Miguel Angel Jimenez's ponytail.

I think I'll choose none of the above and go with Stewart Cink's delightfully shiny dome. 

The classics never go out of style!

The Balder Truth

TNT must stand for Tiger 'N Tom.

Given Tom Watson's incredible play while shooting a bogey-free 65 Thursday, it was easy to understand the second half of that.

It looked like the only mistake Watson - just two months shy of his 60th birthday - made all day came after his round: He predicted the dry, wind-free conditions at Turnberry would ensure that his 5-under score wouldn't be the low for the day.

Watson's mark held until right near the end, when Jimenez made a bomb of a putt at 18 to finish at 64. So Watson turned out to be accurate there, too.

The Quote

"The course is obviously defenseless." - Tom Watson

Obviously. 

Right, Tiger?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Had to chuckle at this exchange between TNT's Ernie Johnson, one of the top announcers in TV sports, and Peter Alliss of the BBC ...

EJ: "Ian (Poulter) had been on Twitter and tweeted a picture of his outfit. You were twittering earlier today, were you not, Peter?

PA: No, I confess I was not. We've only just got gas at my house, so I'm not ready for the Twitter.

Hey, I'm with you, Peter. I'm not quite ready for the Twitter, either!

Bo-ring!

^

The day after the MLB All-Star Game is the worst day in sports.

No major league ballgames. 

NFL training camp hasn't opened yet.

It's offseason for the NBA and NHL (and well after the opening of free agency in those leagues, so there isn't even much news).

Wimbledon is over and The Open Championship hasn't started.

When WNBA games, Brett Favre silliness and speculation about Allen Iverson signing with the Clippers are the day's big-ticket items, well, we might as well have slept in.

The beautiful thing: The siesta is a short one. Even as I write this, Tiger & Friends are mere hours away from teeing it up over the pond. 

Baseball will be back, too, replete with folks talking about their team being only x games out "in the loss column" and y games out of the wild-card lead. (Or, in the case of the Nationals, zzzzz games out of fourth place.)

Soon enough, the All-Star festivities will be but a distant memory ... and humidity will descend upon St. Louis with enough force to curl those porn-star 'staches the Cardinals are growing.

Yes, all will be right with the world.

In the meantime ... hey, how 'bout that Chamique Holdsclaw, huh? With her putting 28 points on the board for the Dream, those lamentable Lynx never had a chance!