Play Ball! (Already?)

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Opening day snuck up on me. I really didn't know the regular season began tomorrow until I opened this morning's sports section and saw the TV listings. (For all the kids out there, a newspaper is something you read when the router is balky.)

I guess that's what happens when you go from being in a town with 2 MLB teams to a town with none.

As I said in a post a while back, even though I'm neither a White Sox fan nor a Cubs fan, I will miss having big-league ball in my town. Oh, and I'll miss the Cubs, too.

I'll miss Ozzie Guillen's daily silliness and the sports soap opera that is the Cubbies. I'll miss classy Paul Konerko and wacky Cra-Z Zambrano. I'll miss Jake Peavy's injury du jour and the ascension of Starlin Castro. And as long as I'm being honest here ... I'll miss that steady AP freelance paycheck I got for showing up at the ballpark and taking my own hacks a couple times a week.

I'm sure I'll watch plenty of baseball on TV - I mean, how can I help it? There pretty much is a game on some channel 24/7 - but it won't be quite the same.

All that being said, I still will follow the game. And, like everybody else, I still have opinions. So here's my quick 2011 forecast ...

DIVISION CHAMPS

AL East: Red Sox. They made all the right moves over the winter and figure to be quite hungry after starving last year. The Yankees? Freddy Garcia made their rotation and Bartolo Colon is in their bullpen. Nuff said.

AL Central: Twins. Especially if Justin Morneau is healthy (and Jay Mauer stays healthy). But I do like most of what the White Sox did during the offseason and would expect an extremely close race. If that's the case, the Twins usually take advantage of the Sox choke instincts and prevail.

AL West: Angels. This division really is anybody's guess, so this anybody will guess Mike Scioscia.

AL Wild Card: White Sox. (Or Twins if they get edged in division).

NL East: Phillies. I'm trying to figure out a way they don't win it. And I'm failing.

NL Central: Reds. Should be an interesting race. The Cardinals almost always contend but have injuries galore and that whole Pujols Contract Thing hanging over their heads. The Brewers will score lots of runs ... and give up more. The Cubs often fail when expected to succeed and vice versa, so maybe they'll fool everybody. Dusty Baker clubs have trouble winning two years in a row, but I think the Reds have most of what good teams need.

NL West: Giants. Though I certainly could see the Rockies or Dodgers winning this, too.

NL Wild Card: Rockies.

PLAYOFFS

AL: Red Sox over White Sox; Twins over Angels; Red Sox over Twins.

NL: Phillies over Rockies; Giants over Reds; Phillies over Giants.

World Series: Phillies over Red Sox. Too much pitching. Darn good hitting, too.

MVP

AL: Adrian Gonzalez, Red Sox. We'll see how he performs with the pressure on. And with a great lineup around him.

NL: Roy Halladay, Phillies. He probably won't win it because voters don't like starting pitchers, but his dominance has a domino effect on the NL's best rotation - and best team.

CY YOUNG

AL: Jered Weaver, Angels. A very good young pitcher becomes an outstanding veteran.

NL: Roy Halladay, Phillies. Duh.

HEADLINES WE'LL BE SICK OF BY MIDSEASON

5. Cubs' Quade Benches Soriano Again for Not Running Out Flyball.

4. Last-place Pirates Look To Trade Top Players.

4. Steinbrenner Blasts Yankees; Threatens Sweeping Changes.

2. Selig Blasts Union; Union Blames Owners.

1. Pujols Says It's About Respect, Not Money.
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Who's more wrong, The Ump or The Genius?

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Bud Selig's decision to let Jim Joyce's call stand - thereby denying Armando Galarraga a perfect game - was the no-brainer of the millennium.

The commissioner simply can't be changing umpiring decisions 12, 18, 24 hours after they happen.

I mean, even a manager who often insists upon batting his pitcher eighth knows that, right?

"If I was Mr. Selig," Tony La Russa says, "in the best interest of the game, the guy got it and I'd give him his perfect game."

Ugh. Never mind.

No cork-popping for Sammy

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The List

Sammy and his handlers aren't talking publicly yet, but they already are getting their excuses lined up in a row:

5. It was a mistake. I just picked the wrong drugs, the ones I use for batting practice - just to put on a show for the fans. I like to make people happy.

4. I accidentally took the spiked supplements that Miguel Tejada gave Rafael Palmeiro.

3. No comprende, senor.

2. Have you ever tried to pick up the key to New York City? It's heavy, buddy! I had to do something to get a little stronger.

1. It was A-Rod's cousin's fault!

The Bald Truth

But seriously, folks ... I don't know about you, but I am shocked.

Shocked, I tell you!

I mean, who would have looked at Sammy Sosa back in his 60-plus-homer heyday and thought, "Hey, this guy just might be ingesting more than Flintstones vitamins, his claimed performance-enhancers"?

Sammy was so svelte back then. Not at all Michelin Mannish. His head wasn't the size of a musk melon, only a cantaloupe.

And he was so even-keeled. No 'roid rage with Sammy. No paranoia. No moodiness. He was always about the team. Never about the stats. Never about the money. 

He certainly wasn't the kind of guy who'd panic and react to a slump by corking a bat or anything.

Hey, just because the New York Times says Sammy's name was on the list of 104 juicers - right up the alphabet from A-Roid Rodriguez - in what was supposed to be an anonymous testing back in 2003, does that make it true?

Next thing you know, all these negative nabobs will be saying that Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds were taking steroids, too!

The Question

While giving journalistic props to the Times and to Sports Illustrated (which broke the A-Roid story earlier this year), doesn't it make you squirm just a little knowing that something supposedly done in strict confidence is being leaked to the media drip by drip?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

They are all guilty, every last one. 

From the juicers themselves to the skinniest dude in cleats who never even took aspirin to the managers to the GMs to the union honchos to The Commish.

They all knew it was going on and they all looked the other way.

Nobody's clean. Nobody.

So when the time comes, do those of us with Hall of Fame votes check the box next to Sosa, Bonds, Roger Clemens and their ilk ... or do we refuse to vote for anybody who played between 1983 and 2004, even if it means we have to turn in blank ballots?

This judge plays hardball

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The Bald Truth

Fourteen years ago, a wise federal judge named Sonia Sotomayor wouldn't let Bud Selig, Jerry Reinsdorf and the rest of the grinches who tried to steal baseball use replacement players to start the 1995 season.

Say this for Barack Obama's first Supreme Court nominee: She has displayed concern for the greater good, and she can't be bullied by the whiny, rich yahoos in the old boys' network.

The Balder Truth

Anquan Boldin is firing his agent, Drew Rosenhaus.

Word is, Boldin simply wouldn't do situps in his driveway.

Said Rosenhaus: "Next question!"

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Heads are about to roll in the NBA, where far too many people apparently didn't get David Stern's Kobe-and-LeBron-in-the-Finals memo.

Magic vs. Nuggets, anybody?

I mean, is it possible for a series to generate negative TV ratings?

Boys will be boys

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The Bald Truth

Not exactly a shocker that Rachel Alexandra won the Preakness.

I mean, how were all those boys supposed to concentrate while running next to such a hot babe?

They're only equine, you know!

The Balder Truth

The Cardinals aren't merely hoping Chris Carpenter stays healthy when he returns for Wednesday's game against the Cubs. They also are actively taking steps to keep him in one piece.

When Carpenter bats, sources say, he has been ordered to never swing. Also, our crack investigative team has learned that Tony La Russa has asked Bud Selig for permission to have Carpenter pitch from a protective bubble.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Spent the weekend chilling in the Detroit area with my college buddy, Chodz. He's a Chicago native who loves hockey and can't lose in the matchup between his old team, the Blackhawks, and his adopted faves, the Red Wings.

Frankly, he seemed a bit more excited about the latter than the former while watching Game 1 - and it's hard to blame him.

The Red Wings were so dominant Sunday that they stopped skating a few times just to make sure the Hawks were still on the ice.

WBC: Why's Bud Cuckoo?

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The Bald Truth

Commish/jalopy salesman Bud Selig says the intensity of the competitors (the non-American competitors, anyway) and the excitement of the fans (the non-American fans, anyway) prove that the WBC is a great thing. Did he watch Wednesday's NIT hoops game between St. Mary's and San Diego State?

I'm guessing not. And I'm guessing you didn't, either. Neither did I, but I did see the closing seconds. That was enough for me to see San Diego State hold off St. Mary's in the final seconds to win a three-point game and earn a trip to Madison Square Garden for next week's semifinals.

After the final horn, gleeful San Diego State fans stormed the court, and the Aztecs players celebrated as if they had just won the national title.

Hey, that gives me an idea for the perfect marketing slogan for Bud's main event ...

The WBC: Almost as big as the NIT.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Several ballplayers who sacrificed much of spring training to compete for Team USA have voiced displeasure upon hearing Selig say they weren't intense enough. They weren't thrilled with the Commish's demand that the country's true stars take part four years from now, when the event again rears its needless head.

Beautiful, Bud. Rip the guys who did volunteer to turn out for the cause. That's quite a way to recruit top players for the 2013 WBC.