Lyin' Ryan runs circles around truth-challenged pols

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Bees buzz, the moon orbits Earth, coaches yell, parents embarrass their kids ...

And politicians lie.

It's what they do. Oh, more genteel people call it "exaggerating" or "couching the truth" or "taking things out of context."

In other words, they lie.

The presidential campaign has been one lie after another. From what I have heard so far, Republicans have been quite a bit more truth-challenged, but the Dems are working hard at their convention this week to give the GOP a run for its money.

Bill Clinton's speech last night was masterful: a point-by-point, detail-filled refutation of the Republican case against Barack Obama. It was entertaining, too. He didn't need an empty chair to keep his audience enthralled for 45 minutes.

Clinton acted the part of the Myth Buster when it came to Republican lies about welfare, Obamacare, Medicare and the stimulus. It was a sensational performance.

Yet he lied, too. I couldn't believe it when he suggested that Obama embraced the Simpson-Bowles deficit plan ... because that simply isn't true. It was kind of like Paul "Lyin'" Ryan a week earlier blaming Obama for America getting its credit rating downgraded -- even though Congressional Republicans, egged on by tea-partiers, were the ones who refused to raise the debt ceiling, leading directly to the downgrade.

My former employer, AP, got criticized for including the Monica Lewinsky affair in its fact-checking story about Clinton's speech. It was in response to Clinton accusing Republicans of lying. And it was perfectly fair territory. Clinton has become something of a hero these days, even to some GOPers, but history knows he lied and lied and lied and lied as president.

Yep, they're all liars. And here's a new low ... or is it a new high? (I don't know how to score these things.)

Lyin' Ryan claimed his best marathon time was "two hours and fifty something." When I heard that, I thought, "Wow, that's really fast!"

Fast, yes. And loose with the facts, too.

According to Runner's World magazine, which keeps track of such things, Ryan only ran one marathon, in 1990. He completed the 26.2 miles in 4 hours, 1 minute, 25 seconds. Which is pretty close, a mere 1 hour-plus off his claim.

A few things:

1. I guess this means Runner's World now must be part of the mainstream liberal media.

2. How pathetic that he felt a need to lie about something as unimportant as his marathon time. I thought Mitt Romney was the big liar on that ticket, but it's obvious Ryan is pathological.

3. Ryan isn't even the fastest recent GOP vice presidential candidate. Sarah Palin once ran a 3:59:36 marathon. I'm sure she could see Russia during her entire run.

4. My wife ran the Chicago marathon in 2003. Roberta's time was 3:59:35 -- exactly 1 second faster than Palin and nearly 2 minutes faster than Lyin' Ryan.

Maybe Roberta should be a vice presidential candidate in 2016!

Nah ... she's far too honest for that.
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The true shame of Weiner

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Mixed emotions about Anthony Weiner's resignation.

On the one hand, his arrogance and indecency certainly merited extreme negative consequences.

On the other, if one thinks about the many sex-related things elected officials have done while still being allowed to serve out their terms -- from Bill Clinton's unique use of cigars in the Oval Office to Mark Sanford hiking the Appalachian Trail to Larry Craig's bathroom toe-tapping escapades, etc. -- Weiner's sexting seems fairly minor.

Would the constant distractions have prevented Weiner from serving his constituents? If so, then he had to go. But just as time let the jokes die down and let Clinton finish his term with a flourish, so too might Weiner have been able to salvage his career -- and be an effective leader -- had he stayed the course.

(Then again, with a name like Weiner and with his particular transgressions, it's a very real possibility that no matter what he does from here on out, he'll never be taken seriously again.)

Over the years, whenever I saw Weiner chatting with Jon Stewart or making arguments from the congressional podium, I thought: "You know, this guy is not afraid to say what he thinks and act upon what he says. We need more like him." It's the same feeling I had about John McCain back when he really was a maverick (as opposed to the shell-of-a-mav he turned out to be in 2008).

So even though Weiner's wound was self-inflicted, it was a shame to see his political career die that way.

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Oh, and apologists can save their breath with their "Why was he driven out of office just because he did some sexting? Don't we have more corrupt officials to go after?"

It was the same "defense" that Clinton's apologists used, and it was just as wrong then.

Clinton lied while under oath. That was the crime. Weiner lied repeatedly to his constituents and peers about his behavior. That was his true failing, at least in my book.

As I used to tell my kids: Nobody expects you to be perfect; when you do something wrong, the lying to try to cover it up is what we really can't stand.
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Weiner's a tool, Zambrano's a weiner

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The last couple of times I saw an interview of Anthony Weiner, I thought: "Maybe a little more liberal than I'd like but, in general, he has a good sense of humor and seems kind of cool for a politician."

Then the Democratic representative from New York got caught sending a bunch of young women a bunch of pictures of himself -- including one of his own weiner bulging in his undies -- and lied about it repeatedly before finally being forced to fess up.

Cool? More like a total tool.

Just goes to prove that Republicans don't have the patent on this kind of crapola.

A defiant Weiner says he won't resign, and I believe him. Hey, after the likes of Bill Clinton, Mark Sanford and Newt Gingrich managed to remain in office despite their indiscretions, I have little doubt that Weiner will be able to hang around, too. After his term ends, though, he's done as a politician.

And, liberal that he is, he can't even count on income from Fox News when he's done.

And speaking of weiners, did you hear the outrageous comments Carlos Zambrano made the other day?

No, I'm not talking about the Cubbie starter calling out closer Carlos Marmol for pitching stupidly to Cardinals slap-hitter Ryan Theriot. I mean, Zambrano actually was right about Theriot being unable to hit a good fastball -- even if he sounded like a selfish jerk for publicly voicing his disgust.

I'm talking about the outrageous thing Zambrano told the media Monday after apologizing to Marmol:

"We can be 11, 12, 15 games out, but we start winning games, who knows? It’s not over yet. Believe me guys, it’s not over for the Cubs."

And that, my friends, is why I call him Cra-Z!
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It's Favre's life

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The Bald Truth

In my previous post, I likened Brett Favre to a punch-drunk fighter seeking one last shot at glory. That led some to believe that I don't think Favre should come back to play for the Vikings or any other team.

Hey, Brett Favre should do whatever Brett Favre wants to do.  If he wants to play for the Vikings and they want him, good for him and good for them. It says here that he'd still be in the upper half of NFL QBs, still be fun to watch, still be a great story.

As a bonus, he'll also drive my buddy Twin Cities Rick - a Vikings lover and Favre hater -absolutely bonkers.

I don't really understand the folks who get all bent out of shape about this kind of thing. There were people outraged that Michael Jordan suited up for the Wizards and that Bobby Orr finished his career in Chicago and that Jim Palmer thought he could pull an Orioles uniform over his boxers when he was 40.

Did any of these guys hurt anybody? Did any of them they damage his "legacy" - one of the most overused (and misused) words by today's columnists and sports-radio yakkers.

I mean, does anybody really think less of Jordan or Orr or Palmer today? 

Brett Favre's legacy will be fine, whether he plays another year or not. 

If he's great, we get to enjoy a legend one more time. If he stinks, we get to make fun of him.

It's win-win, baby.

The Balder Truth

According to reports out of Havana, a 65-year-old man broke his own world record by creating a 142-foot long cigar.

Sources say he immediately scored a date with Monica Lewinsky.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

I'm still getting the occasional e-mail from folks wondering why my columns haven't been in their local newspapers. Four months after GateHouse decided that shedding my $8.9 million salary would be the answer to all of their financial difficulties, it's nice to be missed.

These days, in addition to my silliness here at TBT and looking for gainful employment, I'm freelancing a couple times a week for AP - the world's largest news-gathering service and my employer for the first 16 years of my career. 

Most recently, I covered Tuesday's Cubs-Giants game and also wrote a story about Bobby Scales, the 31-year-old who finally got to make his big-league debut after 11 years in the minors.

I'm also spending more time doing some of the things I like, such as hanging out with my wife and son, reading books and, now that spring has arrived, playing a little golf.

Wednesday offered a rare treat: a round of golf for four columnist (and ex-columnist) buddies. Our foursome at Buffalo Grove Golf Club: the Tribune's Rick Morrissey, the Daily Herald's Mike Imrem, the SouthtownStar's Phil Arvia and me.

I won't bore you with details except to say I surely would have posted the low score had rain not kept us from playing No. 18. 

All I would have needed was a hole-in-one from 425 yards. Talk about a gimme.