While working out on the elliptical trainer at the health club, I was watching a SportsCenter report on A-Roid's comeback from injury.
According to the closed-captioning account of what the ESPNer said, A-Roid was taking part in an "Intra Fraud Game."
I couldn't make that stuff up.
In a related note, there are reports aplenty that A-Roid used performance-enhancing drugs when he was in high school.
Oh, and it gets worse:
My crack staff of investigators has uncovered rock-solid proof that the formula in his baby bottle and the balm for his diaper rash actually were The Clear and The Cream.