The Bald Truth
It's not DeWayne Wise's fault that he's DeWayne Wise.
So I sure hope that all those White Sox fans booing every time the leadoff-man-by-default made an out in Wednesday's shutout loss to the Royals were booing Sox GM Kenny Williams for not finding a better player and manager Ozzie Guillen for insisting upon batting Wise at the top of the order.
Wise is a low-average, low-on-base-percentage guy. Period. That's what he's been as he's bounced around the majors and minors (mostly the minors) for a dozen years.
If he's the best a contender can do for a leadoff hitter, maybe the contender isn't really a contender.
Hey, Cubbieland ...
Bet you didn't expect Kosuke Fukudome to be batting .444 and Milton Bradley .000, did you?
Gotta love those first-week-of-the-season stats!
How many f-bombs did Bobby Cox launch while he helplessly watched three Atlanta relievers walk four Philly batters with the bases loaded as the Braves blew a 7-run, 7th-inning lead?
The Balder Truth
Here's the headline and subhead on page 59 of this week's Sports Illustrated:
STAR ATTRACTION: At 54, Chris Evert and Greg Norman make each other feel like high school sweethearts, but can wedded bliss rejuvenate him enough to conquer Augusta National, the course that has haunted him?
Well, maybe ... if by "conquer" SI means Norman might scramble well enough to make the cut.
I mean, come on! They might as well be asking if Chrissy is rejuvenated enough to conquer Wimbledon.
"'Just make me look really cool.' And I think she pulled it off." - Mark Teahen, Royals second baseman, on what he told a Magnificent Mile stylist before she gave him a "fauxhawk."
Yeah, I know this is where I'm supposed to post a picture of Teahen's haircut. Sorry, but they frown on using cellphone cameras in big-league clubhouses, and I don't really want to get kicked out for life.
Besides, I'm more partial to the traditional mohawk. Mostly bald, you know.
THE BALDEST TRUTH
Was slumping Sox slugger Carlos Quentin really thinking about charging the mound after he got plunked by Zack Greinke? Pathetic.
Quentin practically stands on top of the plate. Then, just for emphasis, he leans over the plate, too. No wonder he was hit by pitches 20 times last season - third-most in the majors - even though he missed the last month. No wonder he led three minor leagues in the stat early in his career.
"Everybody that gets hit gets upset, especially when you’re ... not swinging the bat well," Guillen said. "Carlos is gonna get hit a lot because he stands up on top of the plate. I don’t think it was intentional."
Good point. Maybe if Quentin weren't 0-for-the-season, he wouldn't have thought about starting a fight when he got plunked Wednesday.
Grow up and face facts, dude. You lean over the plate at your own peril.
Tell you what: If he did that against Bob Gibson, he'd already be 6 feet under.