Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Gobble, gobble ... Time Again for the Sports Turkey of the Year

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I've been picking a sports Turkey of the Year for 26 autumns -- first as the Chicago sports columnist for the Copley and GateHouse newspaper chains, and later as the keeper of The Baldest Truth -- and there's never a shortage of candidates.

That's the case again this year, as there were plenty of losers and lunkheads and dopes and mopes to go around.

Before I get to the 2023 Turkey countdown, here were my selections over the first quarter century for this illustrious "honor" ...

  • 2022 -- Tony La Russa
  • 2021 -- Aaron Rodgers
  • 2020 -- Donald F. Trump
  • 2019 -- Antonio Brown
  • 2018 -- J.R. Smith
  • 2017 -- Kyle Shanahan
  • 2016 -- Pat McCrory
  • 2015 -- Derrick Rose
  • 2014 -- Roger Goodell and Ray Rice
  • 2013 -- Alex Rodriguez
  • 2012 -- U.S. Ryder Cup Team
  • 2011 -- Joe Paterno (and his Penn State enablers)
  • 2010 -- Mark McGwire
  • 2009 -- Milton Bradley
  • 2008 -- Choking Cubbies
  • 2007 -- Charlie Weis
  • 2006 -- Aramis Ramirez
  • 2005 -- Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker
  • 2004 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2003 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2002 -- Dick Jauron
  • 2001 -- David Wells and Frank Thomas
  • 2000 -- Bobby Knight
  • 1999 -- Jerry Krause
  • 1998 -- Mike McCaskey

After sifting through a list that included the likes of Ja Morant, Bill Belichick, Dillon Brooks, Jarred Kelenic, Jaden McDaniels, Miles Bridges, Kyrie Irving, Glen Kuiper, Sean Payton, Frank Reich, Brandon Staley, Connor Stalions, Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Matt Eberflus, James Harden, Josh McDaniels, Tony DeAngelo, Draymond Green and plenty of others ... here is the 2023 Final Four:

Alphonzo Tuputala

No, you're not wrong ... the proper reaction is, "Who?" So let me explain.

Tuputala is a linebacker for the University of Washington. On Nov. 11 against Utah, he intercepted a deflected pass and raced down the right sideline for an apparent pick-6.

All good so far, right? Well, about 2 yards before he reached the goal line -- somehow thinking he was already in the end zone -- he just dropped the football


As Washington players mobbed Tuputala in the end zone, congratulating him for what everyone thought was a touchdown, an alert Utah player dived on the football.

That ended the celebration pretty quickly. 

Something like this occurs a couple times every season. I'm always baffled why athletes can't wait two more strides to celebrate, but I'm kind of glad it happens because it's always good for a laugh.

Mario Cristobal

All the Miami coach had to do was instruct his quarterback to take a knee, and the Hurricanes would have beaten Georgia Tech on Oct. 7. But instead, for whatever reason, he called a running play, the tailback fumbled, Georgia Tech recovered, and four plays later the Ramblin' Wreck used a long TD pass to wreck what had been an unbeaten Miami season.

"What we did at the end was a wrong decision," Cristobal said.

Jeez ... ya think?

Turns out, it wasn't even the first time Cristobal had made that kind of boneheaded decision. But it was the first time he got burned by that turkey of a call.

It's all part of him being on the hot seat with an 11-12 record in two seasons at The U.

Grant Williams

Then with the Celtics, Williams trash-talked Miami's Jimmy Butler after hitting a 3 to give Boston a 9-point lead midway through the fourth quarter of Game 2 of the Eastern Conference finals. The two got in each other's faces and had to be separated. 

The extra-motivated Butler promptly went on a scoring binge, almost all against Williams, in leading the Heat to a comeback victory - a key game in Miami's series upset of the heavily favored Celtics.

Often mentioned as the NBA's best team during the regular season, the Celtics were denied a trip to the Finals by the Heat, Butler and, well, Grant Williams.


And Now ... The 2023 Turkey of the Year ...

PAT FITZGERALD

It's hard to believe that hazing still takes place on college campuses at all, let alone within major athletic programs.

But sadly, there was a long, tawdry culture of hazing within the Northwestern program under coach Pat Fitzgerald.

He of course denied that he knew anything about it, but evidence uncovered in an investigation suggested otherwise. And his denials were laughable on their face, anyway.

College coaches are ultra-controlling people -- by design and by necessity -- and they know everything going on within their programs. Indeed, it's part of the recruiting pitch they give to athletes and, especially, to athletes' parents: "I am in charge, and I will take care of your son."

Pat Fitzgerald failed that mission completely -- athletes were sexually abused and emotionally assaulted under his watch -- and last summer he was deservedly fired.

It marked an abrupt end to what had mostly been a feel-good story: Chicago-area kid becomes an All-American linebacker for a Northwestern team that finally makes the Rose Bowl after decades of futility, eventually takes charge of the program, and becomes the school's winningest coach ever.

Thing is, even the football part of it hadn't elicited many good feelings in recent years. Northwestern went 14-31 in Fitzgerald's final four seasons, including three last-place campaigns in which the team went 1-8 in the Big Ten. Even before the hazing allegations, Northwestern football had returned to being completely irrelevant.

Nationally, people only paid attention to the program again when scandal broke out ... and Fitzgerald was the face of it.

^


Sunday, August 6, 2023

40 Years of Fun with My Fabulous Robbie

 ^

Time really has flown, because I've been lucky enough to have 40 years of marital fun with the sweetest, funniest, most beautiful woman in the world!

It all started back on Aug. 6, 1983, when Robbie and I said our vows at Illinois Beach State Park.

And it's still going strong - our great day was capped off with the Randalls taking us out to celebrate #40.

In between, well, let's let the photos do most of the talking ...

Life wouldn't have been nearly as fun if not for the joys of our lives, Katie and Ben.

And now, thanks to Ben (and Sammi) and Katie (and Ben R), we've got four more joys of our lives: Jack, Logan, Owen and Piper (and a 5th on the way) ...

Not to mention man's (and woman's) best friends: Chelsea, Bosco, Shadow ... and, for the last 12 1/2 years, Simmie.

And here comes lots and lots more fun!

Marquette Fun!

Chicago Skyline Fun!


Golf Fun!

Grand Canyon Fun!

Hawaii Fun!


Mexico Fun!


Rockin' Fun with Roger Clyne!

California Fun!



Carolina Panthers Fun!

New Orleans Fun!

Leon's Frozen Custard Fun!

We've been a couple of lucky people to have had the 40 years we've had together ... and believe me, I know I'm the luckiest of the lucky!

Wishing tons of future fun to our family and friends. And, yes, another 40 years of it to us! 

^

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Bet This Bracket & Get Filthy Rich! (Or something like that)

 ^

Well, here's my bracket. I told y'all which team I was picking, so at least those 6 lines shouldn't be a surprise!

Enjoy the tournament, everybody!

^

Sunday, March 12, 2023

We Are Marquette ... And We're Not Done Yet! (Also - wrapping up my first season coaching the Socrates Owls)

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What a time to be a Marquette alum and basketball fan!

My Golden Warrior Eagles -- picked to finish in 9th place by Big East coaches in the preseason poll -- instead rolled to the first outright Big East title since we joined the conference in 2005. We were 17-3, two full games clear of the field.


And then, as if to prove to remaining doubters that we're for real, my guys went to Madison Square Garden and swept 3 games to win our first Big East Tournament title.


As if the on-court success wasn't enough, what's been great about this season's team is the way we've won.

Marquette plays an entertaining, ever-moving, high-octane offense, fueled by point guard Tyler Kolek -- the Big East Player of the Year and the conference tournament Most Outstanding Player -- and Oso Ighodaro, our slick passing "point center."


Throw in Kam Jones' 3-point shooting, O-Max Prosper's frenetic energy, Stevie Mitchell's incredible defense and 6th man David Joplin's instant offense, and you have an exciting, winning formula.

One of the great things about the team is that we can overwhelm opponents with our offense (as Marquette did to Xavier in the Big East championship game), but our defense is good enough that we can grind out close victories against tough teams (as we did against UConn in the semifinals).

It has taken Shaka Smart only two years to create a culture of passion, accountability, leadership and excellence. He's been the most welcome addition to the Marquette basketball scene in decades.

I have mostly been appreciating Marquette from afar, watching every game on TV, participating in online fan chat-rooms and getting in text chains with fellow alums -- not to mention with my kids, Ben and Katie, who grew up knowing they had better root for MU.

But thankfully, near the end of the season, I finally made it to a couple of games. 

Robbie, Ben and I were joined in Milwaukee by Marquette buddies John, Tom and Jim for our home victory over DePaul on Feb. 25.

And then Tom and I made the drive to Indianapolis for the Feb. 28 win at Butler that clinched the Big East regular-season title.

I'm the worst at taking selfies -- obviously -- so I'm glad I also got a pic of the scoreboard with the final score.



It's all been so incredibly fun, and I'm enjoying the interactions with fellow Marquette fans who are re-energized by Shaka & The Gang.

And, as Shaka said after MU crushed Xavier: 

"And we're not done yet!"

Spoiler Alert: My NCAA Tournament bracket will feature Marquette on the "champions" line ... and it's not just a fan crossing his fingers and wishing for the impossible. It really can happen.

As my grandson Jack says: "We Are Marquette!"


+++

Meanwhile, in other hoops news ...

A few weeks ago, I wrapped up my first season as coach of the middle school girls basketball team at Socrates Academy.

I love the 11 kids I had the honor to coach. Probably the hardest-working group I've ever had, and that's saying something because I've been fortunate to coach several teams that left it all on the court.

Our Owls were 7-7 and reached the semifinals of the conference tournament. It's not the stuff of which legends are made, but considering that the program hadn't won a single game in at least 2 years, it was a pretty nice season.

The girls played with energy and enthusiasm, got along great with each other, wanted to be coached, and improved markedly throughout the season. It truly was a pleasure to have worked with them.

Making the experience all the more special was the fact that Katie was my assistant. It not only was wonderful to coach alongside my daughter for personal reasons, but she also was fantastic with the girls and brought great knowledge and experience to the team.

Most of the players are 8th-graders, and when they graduate in a few months they'll be taking 97% of our offense with them. So hopefully we'll have some newcomers who can hoop a little bit.

Maybe I can get Shaka Smart to do a little recruiting for me!

^

Monday, December 26, 2022

Nadel-A-Thon in N.C. ... And a New Gig for Coach Mike

 ^

Dec. 21 was the first day of winter, and we got an early blast of frigid weather in North Carolina. But we were fortunate that we had something to warm our hearts -- a first-ever Charlotte visit from our grand-twins Logan and Jack.

Here they are with Ruthie, their "cousin" hound.


LoJack (and their parents Sammi and Ben) spent much of their vacay with their Aunt Katie, Uncle Ben and cousins Owen and Piper (and the aforementioned Ruthie), who live just a few minutes away from Grandma and Grandpa.

Here are the four cousins (from left - Owen, Piper, Jack, Logan) at an indoor water park. You know how difficult it is to get four kids ages 3 and under to smile and look at the camera at the same time?!?!

We also had fun at the Carolina Raptor Center, looking at hawks, eagles, owls and other birds of prey. Here are the three boys in a small cabin on the site.

And "Lady in Red" Piper, all warm and happy!

After going for a "ride" with Grandma and Grandpa ...

... artist Logan proudly displayed his renowned work, "Portrait of Grandma." The resemblance is uncanny!


One afternoon, Robbie and I and our offspring even got to sneak away for an hour sans kiddos.


Katie and her family moved to Charlotte from Seattle in September, and it's been fantastic having them here. "Fantastic" also is a great word to describe the visit from the Chicago Nadels. Come back soon, y'all -- warmer weather next time, we promise!!

+++

+++

The few birds of prey we saw at the Raptor Center aren't the only Owls in my life these days.

After a two-year Covid hiatus, I'm coaching middle-school girls basketball again. My latest assignment is at Socrates Academy, a highly regarded public charter school only a few minutes from my house.

Hoo are we? The Owls, the mighty, mighty Owls!

We played 4 games before the holiday break. That we won 3 of them is great, because I'm told that there hadn't been a whole lot of winning 'round these parts. More importantly, though -- and I mean it -- is that these kids work so hard, they are so coachable, and they want to improve so much. 

And they have improved a ton in just the time we've been together so far. They're a real likeable group, too, and they support each other and the coaches so well. 

Coach Katie -- yep, Payton Prep's all-time 3-point shooter is my assistant -- and I are very grateful that we get to work with them. And we're excited about what the rest of the season will bring when school resumes in January.

Go Owls!

^

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

It's Turkey Time Again -- Who's Number 1 in 2022?

 ^

This is the 25th annual edition of my sports Turkeys of the Year ... and as always, there were lots of losers, lunkheads, dopes, druggies, criminals and clowns to choose from. 



Before I get to 2022, here are my selections over the years ...

  • 2021 -- Aaron Rodgers
  • 2020 -- Donald F. Trump
  • 2019 -- Antonio Brown
  • 2018 -- J.R. Smith
  • 2017 -- Kyle Shanahan
  • 2016 -- Pat McCrory
  • 2015 -- Derrick Rose
  • 2014 -- Roger Goodell and Ray Rice
  • 2013 -- Alex Rodriguez
  • 2012 -- U.S. Ryder Cup Team
  • 2011 -- Joe Paterno (and his Penn State enablers)
  • 2010 -- Mark McGwire
  • 2009 -- Milton Bradley
  • 2008 -- Choking Cubbies
  • 2007 -- Charlie Weis
  • 2006 -- Aramis Ramirez
  • 2005 -- Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker
  • 2004 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2003 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2002 -- Dick Jauron
  • 2001 -- David Wells and Frank Thomas
  • 2000 -- Bobby Knight
  • 1999 -- Jerry Krause
  • 1998 -- Mike McCaskey

Among others, here were the candidates I considered for 2022's Top Gobbler (in alphabetical order):

Robbie Anderson ... Archie Bradley ... Tom Brady ... Antonio Brown ... Rodolfo Castro ... Bryson DeChambeau ... Novak Djokovic ... Kevin Durant ... Nathaniel Hackett ... Kyrie Irving ... Michael Jordan ... Kliff Kingsbury ... Zack Littell ... Brad Marchand ... Baker Mayfield ... Phil Mickelson ... D.J. Moore ... Thomas Morstead ... Kyler Murray ... Greg Norman ... Aaron Rodgers ... Grant Sands ... Robert Sarver ... Brandon Staley ... Russell Wilson.

Which brings us to my Final Four:

Miles Bridges

Talk about a guy who had the world in the palm of his hand. The Charlotte Hornets forward rejected a nice contract last year, making a huge bet on himself. And he won the bet, having a career year. He was headed for a massive, 9-figure deal. But then Bridges allegedly beat the hell out of the mother of his children -- right in front of the children! -- and now he is toxic.

Matt Rhule

The first NFL coach fired this season, Rhule lasted only 5 games into his third year with the Carolina Panthers. He whiffed on 5 QBs -- which is 5 too many whiffs at football's most important position -- and he made plenty of other boneheaded decisions, too. And yes, I'm miffed that I'm about to lose my bet on the Panthers having a winning record this season; that's Rhule's fault, too!

Herschel Walker

It's not difficult to find hypocrisy in politics, but it's not easy to find the kind of All-World, Hall-of-Fame level hypocrisy that the U.S. Senate candidate from Georgia has shown regarding the abortion issue. Whenever Walker speaks, he sounds like he was hit in the helmet a few too many times -- or a few thousand too many times. He's a pathological liar, as well ... but at least he told the truth when he said: "I'm not that smart."

And now ... The 2022 Turkey of the Year ...

TONY LA RUSSA

Still feeling guilty decades later about having fired La Russa as manager at the insistence of the inept Hawk Harrelson in 1986, Chicago White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf brought La Russa back for the 2021 season. Tony was 76 years old and hadn't been in an MLB dugout for a decade.

Although the Sox were routed by the Astros in their first playoff series, La Russa's return was a success in Year 1. And his young, talented team entered the 2022 season as a trendy World Series pick.

It was pretty much a disaster from beginning to end, however. La Russa made numerous questionable decisions -- including twice calling for intentional walks with 1-2 counts on batters (one of which backfired spectacularly). La Russa has always been one who has felt he was smarter than everybody else, and even after those moves failed, he doubled-down on his genius.

He also dozed off in the dugout, and his team's fundamentals were horrid all season. The Sox simply looked unprepared and, well, un-managed.



The White Sox finished 81-81, with most observers calling them the biggest disappointment in the major leagues.

La Russa ended up leaving the team with a month to go to address a medical situation, an inglorious end to an otherwise outstanding managerial career.

I wish him good health and happiness, and I hope he enjoys Thanksgiving more than he enjoyed his turkey of a final season as a big-league skipper.
^


Sunday, November 6, 2022

Congrats to Dusty Baker -- World Series Champion

^

I didn't really have a dog in the World Series fight, but I admit I'm really happy that Dusty Baker finally has won that elusive championship.

It was cool to see not only the unbridled joy of a guy who is 73 going on 23 -- "What's next? Party!" -- but also to witness the obvious love his Astros players and the fans have for him.



What a life Johnnie B. Baker has led. 

He was born in 1949. He grew up during a difficult (and sometimes even deadly) time to be an outspoken young Black man. He left California in 1967 for Atlanta, which was one of the epicenters of segregation and the Civil Rights movement. Hank Aaron took him under his wing, and Dusty got to see the dignity with which Hank handled the incredible abuse he received. All of those things Dusty witnessed as a child and young man helped shape what he would become.




Baker was a hell of a ballplayer, a multiple All-Star who twice finished in the top 10 in MVP voting and who was a big contributor to the 1981 champion Dodgers. 

As a manager, he helped turn the Giants, Cubs, Reds and Nationals from mediocrities (or worse) into legitimate contenders ... only to fail to win it all, sometimes in spectacular fashion. (To this day, the top of the 8th inning of Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS remains the most incredible half-hour of sports I've seen, and yes, Dusty contributed to the Cubbie collapse.)




And what an amazing job he did in Houston, given that organization's situation before he got there. He's a baseball lifer who had done everything in the game except win a World Series as a manager, and now he can check that off his list.

Asked about that last night, he told ESPN: "God-dang it! Oh, it's a wonderful thing! I just knew it was gonna happen sooner or later ... and I said if I win one, I wanna win two, so we might as well go for two!"




He might be the best manager or coach I've ever seen at convincing high-paid professional athletes to work toward common goals and to believe in themselves during times of adversity. 

Sometimes, he used an "us against the world, and screw everybody else" vibe to do so, and that pissed off some baseball fans. He also has been very outspoken about race relations, which of course ticks off a lot of people who believe that athletes (especially Black athletes) should just "shut up and dribble."

I was part of hundreds of conversations with Dusty Baker over the years, especially during his 4-year tenure as Cubs manager.

Most of those conversations were in group settings, but I also was fortunate to have several 1-on-1 interviews with him -- most on the record, but some just two guys talking. He pretty quickly became a favorite of mine, and I came away from many of those (especially our off-the-record chats) feeling as if I had been a student in an upper-level U.S. history course.

So congrats to Dusty Baker -- baseball lifer, inspirational leader, and just one cool dude.
^

Saturday, August 13, 2022

The Deposed Mad King's 7 Stages of Denial

  1. I don’t have any government documents at Mar-a-Lago.
  2. The FBI ransacked Mar-a-Lago – it’s another witch hunt.
  3. The FBI planted evidence.
  4. There weren’t any top-secret documents.
  5. All those documents marked top-secret? I actually already declassified them.
  6. Barack Hussein Obama had 30 million documents at his house.
  7. I’m being persecuted. Send money, everybody!

Sunday, February 13, 2022

Super Upset?

 ^

Short and quick about Super Bowl Whatever Number This Is ...

I really love watching Joe Burrow play. Lots of chutzpah and a ton of talent. And that Cinci kicker is a cool, cocky kid too. I'd expect him to hit anywhere from 55 & in with the game on the line if he gets the chance. 

I like Matthew Stafford as well (and I'm bummed the Panthers didn't get him). I'd have questioned his ability to pull out a close game, but he responded big-time against the Niners. I do think that with all the talk about LA's defensive line, Cinci's is getting overlooked some. They can get after Stafford and put him on his butt.

Last year, I felt the Bucs would torment Mahomes, who was playing behind a porous offensive line. And the Bengals have an even worse O-line ... and the Rams have a great D-line. 

And yet, I just see Burrow finding a way this time.

Bengals 23, Rams 20

^

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Gobble! Gobble! Time for the 2021 Turkey of the Year

 ^

After 2020 finally, mercifully ended, did you think 2021 would be a breeze? Welp ... sorry about that. This year has kinda sucked, too. But at least we always have sports to distract us from all of life's troubles, right?

Think again! The 2021 sports landscape has featured lots of great moments, to be sure, but it also has given us a close-up look at all kinds of losers, scoundrels, incompetents, liars, conspiracy theorists and dolts.

Then again, I've been choosing the Turkey of the Year since 1998, and there's rarely been a shortage of these less-than-desirables. Here's a look back at my selections throughout the years ...

  • 2020 -- Donald F. Trump
  • 2019 -- Antonio Brown
  • 2018 -- J.R. Smith
  • 2017 -- Kyle Shanahan
  • 2016 -- Pat McCrory
  • 2015 -- Derrick Rose
  • 2014 -- Roger Goodell and Ray Rice
  • 2013 -- Alex Rodriguez
  • 2012 -- U.S. Ryder Cup Team
  • 2011 -- Joe Paterno (and his Penn State enablers)
  • 2010 -- Mark McGwire
  • 2009 -- Milton Bradley
  • 2008 -- Choking Cubbies
  • 2007 -- Charlie Weis
  • 2006 -- Aramis Ramirez
  • 2005 -- Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker
  • 2004 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2003 -- Sammy Sosa
  • 2002 -- Dick Jauron
  • 2001 -- David Wells and Frank Thomas
  • 2000 -- Bobby Knight
  • 1999 -- Jerry Krause
  • 1998 -- Mike McCaskey

You might have noticed that up until 2010, each of those turkeys did his gobblin' in Chicago and/or the Midwest because that's where I was based. The "award" actually got its start under my Copley Newspapers predecessor and friend, the late Gene Seymour. Since moving to North Carolina, I've expanded my Turkey-choosing horizons. Still, as always, I dedicate this to Gene's memory.

+++

Without further ado, here's the 2021 Turkey of the Year countdown ...

13. WILL CRAIG. Will Who? Exactly! Back in May, as the first baseman of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Craig made arguably the worst play by an infielder in the history of professional baseball. Yep .. THE ... WORST ... EVER. His very apt quote afterward: "I kinda lost my mind." 



12. URBAN MEYER. If a new NFL coach wants to make a good first impression on his players, most of whom are Black, one way NOT to do it is by hiring a racist as strength coach. But that's exactly what Meyer did after becoming the Jaguars' head coach. When confronted, he at first got defensive. But he soon realized he had to fire the guy he just hired. Oh ... and his Jaguars suck, too.

11. NCAA HONCHOS. They had years to get in front of the movement to let athletes be compensated for the use of their names, images and likenesses (aka NIL), but instead the suits tried to fight it. Numerous states passed their own rules, and by the time the NCAA caved in, there was no mechanism in place to make things reasonably equitable. As usual, if it involves NCAA decision-makers, it's a mess. But I'm still glad college athletes have the same rights that their fellow college students do.

10. CURT SCHILLING. He used to be a great pitcher, so great that he very well might be inducted into the Hall of Fame. But he's also a hate-filled, homophobic, Islamophobic, conspiracy-theory-spewing, far-right-wingnut. (One of his bigoted tweets, comparing Muslims to Nazis, follows this paragraph.) He actually demanded to be taken off the ballot in this, his final year of eligibility for the Hall ... but the Hall correctly said "nope, you're staying on the ballot" ... and he has a good chance of getting in after falling only 16 votes short last time. Disclosure: I have voted for him in the past, and I'd vote for him again if I still had a ballot. It's not as if he'd be the only dirtbag in the Hall.

9. MATT NAGY. This just in: There are reports that the Bears will fire their inept coach after the team's Thanksgiving game against Detroit. Of course, there's little doubt that Nagy should be fired, as he has mishandled the team for most of his time in Chicago. Then again, if GM Ryan Pace isn't canned, too, will it really matter?

8. KLETE KELLER. The U.S. Olympic swimmer pleaded guilty on Oct. 13 to felony obstruction for taking part in the Jan. 6 coup attempt at the Capitol. His involvement in the insurrection wasn't exactly stealthy -- he wore his Olympic jacket while recording himself screaming expletives about Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. So he's not only a seditionist and a convicted felon, he's also a dope. U.S.A! Hang Mike Pence! U.S.A.! Hang Mike Pence!

7. ROBBY ANDERSON. After signing a big-money contract extension during the offseason, the Panthers wide receiver has gone on to lead the NFL in dropped passes. As if that's not enough for Turkey-dom, he also has lashed out on two separate occasions at teammates and coaches. Much easier to get angry at others than to hold himself accountable, I guess.


6. MEL TUCKER.
The Michigan State football coach had a nice win against Michigan. So nice that MSU boosters apparently want to make him the second-highest-paid coach in college football history -- 10 years, $95 million -- despite his 16-14 career record. Unfortunately, word of the big contract leaked just before the Spartans' game against Ohio State ... and then the Spartans were down 49-0 faster than you could say, "Waste of effen money." I wonder how much of that contract Ohio State boosters are willing to pay to keep Tucker coaching in the Big Ten.

5. TREVOR BAUER. The Dodgers spent more than $100 million to sign a pitcher they thought would help them win another World Series. But only a few months into the quirky right-hander's stay in L.A., he was accused of sexual assault ... and he didn't pitch in a game after June 28. I don't really have anything clever to say here because sexual assault isn't funny. 

4. BEN SIMMONS. The 76ers' $170 million point guard has become a total head case. He has talent and size ... but he hasn't improved as a shooter in the 6 years he's been a pro. And he's such a disaster at the free-throw line that he doesn't even want to create contact. The ultimate bizarro scenario came in Game 7 of the Sixers' playoff loss to Atlanta on June 20, when Simmons passed up an open dunk to give the ball to a well-defended teammate. (See video below.) He wants to be traded and the Sixers would love to deal him, but who wants to give up multiple draft picks and tens of millions of dollars for a guard who won't -- and can't -- shoot?


3. KYRIE IRVING, AMARI COOPER, ANTONIO BROWN and VARIOUS OTHER ANTI-VAXXERS. Each has some different story, some different excuse, some different scam. But all of them have hurt or are hurting their teammates, coaches, communities and fans. Is there any doubt why we can't get past COVID-19 when selfish and/or misinformed turkeys won't do their part?

2. NICK ROLOVICH. Washington State fired its head coach after he refused to get vaccinated -- which is required of all state employees. (He also happened to be the state's highest-paid employee.) Rolovich is fighting his termination in court, saying he should have been granted a religious exemption. One problem with that defense: He's Catholic; there's nothing in the Catholic faith that prevents people from getting vaccinated; and Pope Francis himself is advocating for the vaccine. So Rolovich is a liar as well as a science-denier ... and his career record (33-33) indicates he's not much of a coach, either.

And now ... The 2021 Turkey of the Year ...

AARON RODGERS


While we're on a roll talking about all these me-first, ignorant, anti-vaxx dopes, let's bestow the highest "honor" on the the most famous (infamous?) of them all.

Back in training camp, the Green Bay QB -- and 2020 NFL MVP -- assured everybody that he was "immunized." 

But it was all a lie ... which we learned when Rodgers tested positive for COVID-19 and had to miss a game, which the Packers lost. 

Through it all, he doubled-down and tripled-down; he claimed that being "immunized" (with what, he hasn't said) was better than being "vaccinated"; and he threw his lot in with anti-vaxx conspiracy theorist Joe Rogan and that ilk.

This is the Packers' "leader." For all of his talent and regular-season success, no wonder they haven't even sniffed a Super Bowl in a decade. 

The vaccine flap was all part of a bizarre 2021 for Rodgers that began with yet another playoff loss and then months of speculation about whether he had demanded a trade, whether the Packers would deal him, whether he'd be gone after this season, and on and on and on. 

It was a stupid soap opera ... only to be made more stupid by his refusal to accept a proven, life-saving vaccine that could have protected him, his teammates, his family and everybody else he comes into contact with.

Gobble, gobble, you Turkey!

^