Milton Bradley: 100th verse, same as the first

^
Can't wait for Milton Bradley to end his silence and blame Lou Piniella, Cubbie fans and Chicago media for running him out of Seattle.
^

Moved to not want to move again soon

^
You know how you forget how good or bad something is until you have to do it again? Well, that's how I am with moving ... and it's never good.

But hey, Roberta and I made it to Charlotte - even if all of our stuff didn't. We couldn't quite fit everything into the 24-foot truck we rented, so we had to make some executive decisions about some of our less desirable junk. Not until after we were hundreds of miles from Chicago did I realize that one of the items we left behind - an old TV stand - had all of our remote controls and some other valuable stuff taped into one of the drawers. My son had to go retrieve the remotes for us and ship them at a cost of nearly 50 bucks. What fun! A bargain at any price.

Otherwise, I survived my turn as truck driver, we got everything moved into either the apartment or a nearby storage facility and we're starting to get to know our new hometown. It's all good for this Connecticut Yankee in Krispy Kreme Land.

I even finally got my high-speed internet connected ... but only after spending 8 hours on the phone over a 3-day span with about 2 dozen different AT&T employees. The thieves then tried to charge me more than double what they had promised for the service. And at the end of it all, the supervisor actually asked me if I'd give them a "completely satisfied" grade when I get their online survey.

She might as well have asked if I would sprout a new head of hair.

Things have been so hectic that I've barely followed what's going on in the world, sports or otherwise. I haven't even picked up a golf club, believe it or not.

I did see that the White Sox got Manny, the Cardinals swiftly turned a 1-game lead over the Reds to a 7-game deficit and the Cubs won a series against the Pirates to all but clinch 5th place. Strike up the band.

Meanwhile, regarding things that actually matter, there was another oil catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico, which no doubt somehow was Obama's fault. Or Milton Bradley's.

Anyway, I hope to get up to speed before the next time I post. Until then, here's hoping everybody has a great Labor Day weekend. I sure plan to ... even without the labor.
^

13 sharp baseball observations

^

During a Southwest Airlines flight to Seattle this week, my daughter Katie inadvertently brought a large pair of scissors in her carry-on bag. The fine TSA folks operating the x-ray gear didn't detect the sharp implement. Obviously, though, Katie isn't a terrorist. I mean, it's not as if she tried to sneak a 4-ounce bottle of shampoo on the plane!

While contemplating all of that, I'll fire off a baker's dozen thoughts about baseball at the break ...

1. Smart GMs of losing teams will do what Kenny Williams did last year (in acquiring Alex Rios) and add talented players for future seasons. It's one thing to throw away one bad season; why let it ruin an entire decade?

2. Aramis Ramirez, Faux Mr. Clutch, is at it again. Now that his Cubs are hopelessly out of the race - and with him having the right to opt out of his contract at season's end - he finally is hitting the way a cleanup hitter making monster money should. He did the same thing in 2006, getting hot just in time to get himself a huge new deal but not in time to keep Dusty Baker from getting fired.

3. It will be interesting to see which NL Central frontrunner, Cincinnati or St. Louis, will overcome major bullpen issues to take the division. Reds GM Walt Jocketty would love nothing more than to add a couple of the same quality arms the Cards no doubt want. Jocketty was great at making deadline deals before he was run out of St. Louis. Meanwhile, in the always-entertaining game within the games, it's Dusty vs. Tony - just as it was in '03 (with Dusty prevailing) and '04 (with Tony dominating).

4. The most overrated player in baseball in the season's first half: Joe Mauer in a landslide. The Twins can't afford to have their highest-paid player ever hit like Brian Harper.

5. If they can get reasonably healthy by mid-August and if they can hang close in the race, the Phillies will win the NL East again.

6. "This time it counts"? Yeah, but not in the ratings. Sorry, Bud, it's still an exhibition game. That's what happens when nearly 10 percent of the league's players are deemed All-Stars. It's pro sports. Everybody doesn't need to win a trophy.

7. The Padres authored the best story of the first half and I gotta admit that I'm rooting for them to hold on. It's pretty cool that even as management tries like hell to lose, the players just won't let it happen.

8. The Pirates should have to move out of PNC Park until they have a winning season. No team that bad should get to play in such a cool ballpark.

9. Ditto for the Orioles regarding Camden Yards.

10. Is it still Milton Bradley's fault that the Cubs suck?

11. Fear the Rockies.

12. Stephen Strasburg is the most-hyped 6-inning pitcher ever. Or at least since Greg Maddux returned to the Cubs in 2004. (And speaking of hyped, remember when Maddux was going to help teach Cra-Z Zambrano how to be more professional?)

13. Predicted playoff teams: Yankees, White Sox, Rangers, Rays (wild card), Phillies, Cardinals, Rockies, Dodgers (wild card). One more prediction: This is Lou Piniella's last season in Cubbieland but Jim Hendry will be around for one more try in 2011. For better or worse on both accounts.

Well, at least Milton Bradley is consistent

^

Our favorite former Chicago athlete, one Milton Obelle Bradley, has started his Mariners career with 1 hit in 22 at-bats - a .045 average. He has 2 RBI in 7 games and a .182 slugging percentage. He has been dropped from fourth to fifth to sixth in the batting order.

Oh, and he has been censured for flipping the bird at fans in Texas.

And you know what that means ...

It's time for M. Obelle to blame Chicago fans, Lou Piniella, the Chicago media, Jim Hendry, the Great Chicago Fire, his ex-teammates and Chicago deep-dish pizza.

Much easier than blaming the one who swings the bat and the one who can't get a grip on one's temper.

Seek help, M. Obelle.

Really. I am not joking.

Unlike U.S. pucksters, Marquette wins on road!

Can't believe the Olympics are over already. Why, it seemed like I started ignoring them just 2 1/2 weeks ago.

Did you see the BIG game yesterday? That's right: I'm talking about Marquette's win over Seton Hall, the Golden Warrior Eagles' third straight Big East overtime road victory. I'm starting to think Final Four. Of course, I'm also starting to think I'll win Powerball.

Click HERE for my latest from Cubbie camp, on the outfield brigade.

Later.

Moolah trumps "Boolah! Boolah!" every time

^

While contemplating why the Bears felt compelled to extend the contract of a QB who has yet to prove anything and whether the Cubs' signing of new hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo means another tour of duty for Milton Bradley, I posted another exclusive column on SportsFanLive.com.

The topic: Should top pro prospects - such as Sam Bradford and Jimmy Clausen - bolt college for the big bucks as soon as they can? Click here for my take.

Fun with stats

^
The Bald Truth

After pitching his no-hitter against the Rangers on April 18, 2007, Mark Buehrle won only one of his next eight starts and had a 4.61 ERA through June 9 as the White Sox tumbled helplessly out of the race.

After throwing his no-no against the Astros in that hurricane-displaced game at Milwaukee on Sept. 14, 2008, Carlos Zambrano was 14-5 with a 3.41 ERA in 28 starts. Cra-Z then allowed 13 runs in his final two regular-season outings, was lousy (and received lousy defensive support) in losing his only playoff start and has followed in 2009 with his worst season as the Cubs have been baseball's biggest busts. Total stats since the no-hitter: 8-8 with a 4.32 ERA over 29 games for the $91.5 Million Man.

After pitching his perfect game against the Rays this past July 23, Buehrle was 11-3 with a 3.28 ERA. Batters were hitting .247 against him, with a .286 OBP and .411 slugging average. Since then, he is 1-6 with a 4.91 ERA in 11 starts and batters are at .322/.366/.496 against him. No wonder the Sox have spiraled to oblivion.

So here's a little tip for all future Chicago pitching aces: Whatever you do, avoid throwing no-hitters!

The Balder Truth

Say this much about Milton Bradley: He made the Cubs interesting to follow this season.

Yep, they weren't nearly as boring as in 2008, when they were stuck with Mark DeRosa and the rest of a 97-win team.

Oh, and by the way, DeRo on Monday hit two more homers for the victorious Cardinals.

Jeesh ... talk about rubbing it in.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Projecting the results backward from the moment the Cubs banished Bradley to baseball's Nowhere Land, here is an irrefutable fact:

Had they never signed him, they'd be 149-0.

Take that, Cardinals!

Don't blame Milton Bradley for being Milton Bradley

^
The Bald Truth

Milton Bradley has some serious emotional problems. He needs help ... and he has the means to afford it.

Strangely, I feel a little sorry for the man. I mean, he can't help it if he's Milton Bradley. That's all he knows how to be. He didn't hold a gun to Cubbie boss Jim Hendry's head to make Hendry sign him (though, admit it, you wouldn't be surprised if he had).

Hendry on Sunday suspended Bradley for the rest of the season, officially admitting he made the kind of mistake that can ruin a season and set a franchise back several years.

Or, in the case of this franchise, several decades.

Several more decades.

The Balder Truth

Full disclosure: While I preferred Adam Dunn or Bobby Abreu to Bradley, I said at the time of the signing that Bradley made some sense because the laid-back Cubbie clubhouse needed a little pizzazz. In fact, I said that if I were a Cubs fan, I'd have been more concerned about Bradley's history of injuries than about his history of mental instability.

Well, I was wrong. Unlike Jim Hendry, however, I am not paid by Chicago National League Ball Club Inc. to be right. That $30 million mistake won't help Hendry - who had a terrible 2008-09 offseason - in the eyes of the team's new ownership. (Hendry's own long-term contract might help him survive at least another season, though.)

In typical Cubbie fashion, Hendry didn't suspend Bradley for being either a bad teammate or a bad ballplayer.

No, the GM suspended Bradley for being himself.

Hendry made the move after Bradley told Daily Herald beat writer Bruce Miles this when asked if he had enjoyed his first season in Cubbieland:

"Not really. It's just not a positive environment. I need a stable, healthy, enjoyable environment. There's too many people everywhere in your face with a microphone asking the same questions repeatedly. Everything is just bashing you. You got out there and you play harder than anybody on the field and never get credit for it. It's just negativity. And you understand why they haven't won in 100 years here, because it's negative."

100 ... 101 ... who am I to quibble about a year here or a century there?

Bradley never got it. He never got that if you're the $30 million newcomer who was supposed to be the final piece of a championship puzzle and you instead drive in fewer runs than Mike Fontenot, you are going to be criticized. Then, when you blame everybody but yourself - over and over and over again - you are going to be disliked.

Obviously, Chicago was a terrible fit for Bradley, who needs to go somewhere fans don't care and where us annoying media types are few and far between.

Then again, they already had him in San Diego, right?

But hey, don't be too hard on the man. Asking Milton Bradley to be somebody other than Milton Bradley is like asking a nun to stop crossing herself or a gerbil to stop nibbling on wood shavings.

Good thing for Milton: Thirty million bucks buys a lot of psychoanalysis.

Really. I'm not kidding.

If he isn't already seeing a shrink, he needs to start. If he is, he needs to find a new one.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Nice job by Robbie Gould to come through in the clutch for the Bears after:

A. His Steelers counterpart, Jeff Reed, blew two big field-goal attempts and ...

2. His coach, Lovie Smith, risked freezing his own kicker by calling time-out before Gould's winning kick.

What would J.C. do? Throw 4 picks!

^

The Bald Truth

Believe me, I'd be saying this even if Bears Savior J.C. had thrown four TD passes to beat the Packers by 20:

It's too early to judge Jay Cutler.

Yes, Bears Savior J.C. threw four interceptions, would have thrown four more if Green Bay DBs weren't wearing oven mitts, couldn't rally his new team to victory at the end and spent most of the game looking as if he hadn't taken part in a single preseason practice.

Yes, he contributed to the Bears having to waste all three second-half timeouts.

Yes, he was bad. Not quite Jonathan Quinn bad, but certainly Cade McNown bad.

BUT IT'S ONLY ONE FREAKIN' GAME!

It was J.C.'s first game with a new team, new coaches and new receivers. Not to mention new expectations that are stupidly high.

If he's still playing like this in October, though ... well, do the Bears still have Moses Moreno on speed-dial?

The Quote I

"How funny is it that you see Kyle Orton in Denver chillin' right now at 1-0?" - Rodney Harrison, NBC studio analyst.

Indeed, K.O. leads J.C., 1 miracle to none.

The List

Ten observations from the Bears-Packers game:

1. Just a few minutes after he was called for a phantom penalty that kept Chicago's go-ahead drive alive, Al Harris picked off Bears Savior J.C. to launch Green Bay's all-the-cheese-you-can-eat celebration. This is what's called poetic justice.

2. Give Bears Savior J.C. credit for his sticktoitiveness. Two times he tried to throw passes right to Tramon Williams. Two times the Packers' DB dropped passes that hit him in his hands. But doggone it if J.C. didn't finally hit Williams in stride late in the first half.

3. How nice of Adewale Ogunleye to emerge from his two-year hibernation now that he's in a contract season.

4. I'm a big fan of NBC's Cris Collinsworth ... but if he pointed out one more time that the Packers looked much sharper in preseason than they did Sunday, I was going to climb aboard Air Nadel, fly to Green Bay and go all Serena Williams on him. The preseason means zilch because opposing defenses show nothing, and Collinsworth is smart enough to know it. C'mon, dude!

5. Remember Nate Vasher?

6. How wild that Bears long snapper Patrick Mannelly thought he was Peyton Manning and called an audible, with the bungled fake punt handing the Packers a gift field goal. How crazy that the Bears give their long snapper such autonomy. And how desperate of Lovie Smith to give away a precious time-out by challenging the number of players the Packers had on the field. I mean, if the Bears wanted to go 0-for-3, they would have acquired Milton Bradley, not Jay Cutler.

7. Whether he's overrated, underrated or just plain rated, Brian Urlacher is important to the Bears, and if his dislocated wrist isn't located real soon, they have little chance of contending in a very tough division. Hunter Hillenmeyer? What, it isn't incredible enough that 3/11ths of the Bears' starting offense played at Vanderbilt?

8. Packers QB Aaron Rodgers wasn't very good, either, but he came through when it counted and didn't throw any interceptions. That he twice missed long TD passes to receivers who had beaten Bears DBs by several yards should make any honest Bears fan plenty worried about the D.

9. On the decisive snap - Rodgers' winning 50-yard heave to wide-open Greg Jennings on a third-and-1 play-action pass with 1:11 to go - Lovie's defense was bamboozled by Mike McCarthy's offense. And now that he's calling the defensive plays, Lovie has no scapegoat except himself.

10. If Collinsworth, a former star receiver, was right about inept Chicago wideouts costing Cutler dearly because they couldn't make proper adjustments on the fly, then GM Jerry Angelo was wrong about Bears Savior J.C. being able to turn a chickenspit receiving corps into chicken salad.

The Quote II

"It was a tough night for Jay. And when you're gonna be the franchise quarterback, how do you respond in tough situations? First play interception in the two-minute drill. That's not what Chicago gave up two number-one draft choices for." - Tony Dungy, NBC studio analyst.

Welcome to The Bears Savior J.C. Bandwagon, folks. Easy-on, easy-off.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

When calling for a fake punt on fourth-and-11 from your own 26 in the fourth quarter of a two-point game on the road, Mannelly can't just think the opponent has too many men on the field. He must be absolutely, positively, 100 percent certain.

See, NFL teams don't hire long snappers because they're deep thinkers.

Of course, if the play had worked, Mannelly would have been Snappy McGenius to all the fanatics who reside in Bear Country.

But it didn't. So he isn't.

On Bradley, racism at Wrigley and the skipper

^
Wild time at Wrigley on Thursday.

Lou Piniella went on and on about him being willing to take the blame for the Cubs' mess. Of course, if you check out his comments in the story I wrote for AP, you'll see that he's really not all too interested in taking any blame.

Meanwhile, Milton Bradley was doing his thing again: Going oh-fer at the plate in another inexplicable loss to the Nats and yakking it up afterward on how difficult it is to be him. I think he took another shot at Cubs fans, but with Milton talking in circles, one never can be too sure.

You certainly don't want to miss my exclusive SportsFanLive post on the subject: click here.

T.O. ... as Voice of Reason?

^

The Bald Truth

Hold on ... I'm hyperventilating.

I ... can't ... catch ... my ... breath ...

OK. I'll just try to get this out of the way so I can relax.

It seems Terrell Owens and I agree on something important. And we don't just kind of agree a teeny bit, we are in complete agreement. Jeesh!

There. I said it. And I'm still alive.

T.O.'s subject du jour at Bills training camp Sunday was Michael Vick ... and here's what Owens had to say about reports that NFL commish Roger "The Sheriff" Goodell plans to suspend the ex-All-Pro/ex-con for the first four games of the season if and when some team signs Vick:

"I think he's done the time for what he's done. I don't think it's really fair for him to be suspended four more games. It's almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground. The guy's already suffered so much. And to add a four-game suspension on a two-year prison sentence, that's ridiculous."

Wow.

When the man's right, the man's right. Even if "kicking a dead horse" might not have been the best defense for Vick given PETA's disdain for him already.

Hey, I like that Goodell is taking a tough stance against some of these thugs. But when the law already has taken an extremely tough stance, why pile on? Why not let Vick try to make a living doing what he does best?

Michael Vick was mean - really, really, insidiously mean - to dogs. He deserved punishment. He got punished. But believe me, he will not be the worst guy earning a paycheck in the NFL this season.

As T.O. said: "I mean, there's a lot more guys around the league that have done far more worst things than that and gotten second chances."

Help! 

It's ... happening ... again. Must ... loosen ... collar ... 

The Quote

"I don't think we're gonna get any nicer articles written about us. But we're in first place, so you can't find a negative in that." - Milton Bradley, when asked what he thought about the Cubs taking the NL Central lead Sunday.

This is beautiful, no? In going out of his way to call the media negative, Bradley took the most positive subject possible and turned it into a negative.

If only he could have been more positive ... like the media!

(For more on Mr. Happy and the Cubs, check out the story I wrote for AP.)

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Over the next few days, the Blue Jays will face major pressure to accept an offer for Roy Halladay, but there is absolutely no reason for them to settle for anything short of an amazing, no-brainer of a deal.

Halladay is signed through the end of next season and, in today's dollars for a stud arm, he's even reasonably priced.

He is the best pitcher in the American League, maybe in baseball, and he's still in his prime. The Blue Jays have every right to expect big-time value in exchange.

Unless Halladay suffers some kind of catastrophic injury, the teams desperate for him now will still want him during the Winter Meetings or in spring training 2010 or at next year's trading deadline.

If the Jays get an offer they can't refuse, they shouldn't be afraid to trade him - and I don't think they are.

If GM J.P. Riccardi keeps getting offers he easily can refuse, however, he should keep Halladay, let loyal Jays fans enjoy Doc's pitching for the next couple of months and then see what happens during the offseason.

That's exactly the vibe Riccardi is sending as this year's deadline nears. If he's just bluffing, he's one heck of a poker player.

Prima + Donna = Ryan Braun

^

The Bald Truth

That Ryan Braun spoke the truth about the Brewers' pitching staff being inadequate is beside the point. 

He proved himself a prima donna, a jerk and, mostly, a horrendous teammate.

It's also beside the point that he met with GM Doug Melvin on Tuesday and tried to take back everything he said: "I apologized if I offended anybody in the organization. I wasn't trying to call anybody out." 

Oh, so when he blamed the pitching staff for the team losing three of four against the Cubs - when he said every Cubs starter was better than every Brewers starter - he was just trying to be constructive. He was just trying to prod Melvin into making a move, maybe bringing back CC Sabathia one more time or something.

I wonder how Braun would have reacted if any Milwaukee pitchers ever commented publicly about his atrocious defense in left field?

As for Melvin, he was pissed because Braun was disrespectful to people in the front office.

Really? What Braun did was far worse than taking a poke at Melvin and his minions. Braun ripped his own teammates - angrily and very publicly. 

He all but said: "I'm great, they're not. I can win us the pennant. They're weighing me down."

Think about all the ballplayers who have been jerks this season: Manny, A-Roid, Milton, Magglio, Cra-Z and so on. 

Have any of them shown their teammates less respect than Ryan Braun did?

Hey, at least the Brewers - a team too flawed to be taken seriously even in the horrid NL Central - have somebody who is No. 1 in one category.

The Balder Truth

True story: The Indians are beating the White Sox 3-1 in the sixth inning when Cleveland manager Eric Wedge goes to his bullpen. Before turning the channel to check what's going on in the Cubs-Braves game, I say to my wife and son: 

"With those rag-arm relievers, the Sox will be leading 9-3 pretty soon."

We turned back to the Sox game just in time to see Paul Konerko's grand slam - his second of three HRs on the night - sail into the stands. An inning later, it was 10-3.

Nice pitching staff you've got there, Cleveland. 

Ryan Braun can't even blame Kerry Wood for this one.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Now that Michael Jackson has been eulogized, memorialized and laid to rest, can we please get on with something that matters? 

You know, like Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch's proposed Justice Department probe into the BCS?

Because if there's one thing our federal government should be investing time and money in, it's that Utah didn't get a chance to play for the mythical national football title.

And some people wonder why our country is bankrupt.

Milt has a thank-you note to write

^
The Bald Truth

Luis Castillo is the best thing to happen to Milton Bradley all season long.

As I wrote for the AP on Friday, Bradley played right field like a doofus. He was all set to be the talk of baseball until ...

... Castillo dropped what should have been A-Roid's game-ending pop-up, allowing the tying and go-ahead runs to score in the Yankees' win over the Mets.

As we all know, if it happened in New York, it's bigger than any event in any city, in any state, in any country, in any continent, in any solar system.

So Castillo was Friday's Official Baseball Goat.

Bradley had to settle for Knucklehead of the Day.

The Quote

"I give 250 percent every day. If you can't see that, there's something wrong." - Milton Bradley

This from a guy who can't count to 3.

The Balder Truth

No joke, just a simple statement: Joe Mauer is the best player in baseball right now.

Lou-ism of the Day

"We just shook it up a little bit to see if it helps out. We're gonna try a few different things and see what happens. We stayed pretty constant for 60 games or so. I think it's time to change things around a little bit. Look, there's no magic formula."

Yep, big changes for the Cubbies. Mike Fontenot batted second for the first time this season. Kosuke Fukudome batted sixth for the first time. Ryan Theriot was moved from second to seventh. Bradley, banished from the No. 3 spot a month ago, was back there.

So how did it work? The Cubs managed all of four hits in six innings against appropriately named Twins starter Kevin Slowey - who kept challenging them (and beating them) with 88 mph fastballs. 

Fontenot, Fukudome and Theriot combined to go 0-for-10 with six whiffs. Fukudome, back to the spin-a-rama strikeout style that made him so special last season, looked especially lost.

Bradley, yeah, he did have a couple of hits but, as mentioned earlier, he didn't exactly cover himself with glory on this day.

If anybody has the magic formula, methinks Lou would pay a pretty penny for it.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Penguins for winning a thrilling Game 7 of an exciting Stanley Cup Finals against the Detroit Red Wings.

The last time I enjoyed the sport this much was when I was a sharp-elbowed floor-hockey terror in Mr. Pirelli's gym class at Jonathan Law High School.

Chicago has a winner, and it's the team that just lost

^

Not the Bears, even with The Great Jay Cutler playing all 22 positions, making field goals, punting, returning kicks and refreshing the water jugs. He's gonna do all that, right?

Not the Bulls, with no inside presence, no go-to guy, no defensive stopper ... and a salary-cap situation that will keep things that way.

Not the White Sox, whose best players are getting old and whose young players aren't good enough.

Not the Cubs because ... do we really have to say it? They're the freakin' Cubs!

The Blackhawks, my friends.

If any Chicago team is to win a championship within the next decade, that team will have to be the Blackhawks.

Their season is over, but what a season it was. They finished second in their division to the great Red Wings, won two playoff rounds, stole a series from a team that had home-ice advantage, took the defending champs into OT three times in five games and on Wednesday almost staved off elimination on Detroit ice despite missing their goalie and top scorer.

Along the way, they made a town that once loved hockey start to fall in love all over again.

Unlike the Bears of '01 and '06, there wasn't a smoke-and-mirrors feel to this Blackhawks team. Unlike the Cubs of '07 and '08, the young Hawks quickly figured out how to win in the playoffs. Unlike the Baby Bulls of recent vintage, these Blackhawks aren't faux contenders. 

So can they grow up to be like the White Sox of '05? Well, sure. Why not?

The Blackhawks need to re-sign Nikolai Khabibulin. That Cristobal Huet played well Wednesday might make more teams interested in trading for Huet (and his salary), thus freeing up money to keep the superior goalie in net. They need another defense-first, kick-butt defenseman. They need a faceoff specialist or two.

Mostly, though, the Blackhawks just need more experience. They already have a ton of talent, most of it younger than 25. These kids aren't flukes.

Oh, there is one more thing: 

They need to be a little bigger, a little stronger, a little tougher, a little meaner and, well, a little crazier. Teams need to fear them more. I'm not talking about goons, because fighting is idiotic. I'm talking about intimidation and temperament. Just call it a you-really-don't-want-to- bleep-with-us attitude.

Hey, since we've already re-established that the Cubs are the Cubs and therefore have no chance in this or any century, wouldn't Cra-Z Zambrano and M-Bomb Bradley look good in Indian Head sweaters?

Little Miltie: Everybody picks on me!

^

The Bald Truth

Oh, poor, poor me. I can't catch a break. Everybody hates me. The umpires always pick on me. Waaa! Waaa! Waaa!

Jeesh. Even those of us who thought umpire Larry Vanover did screw Milton Bradley with a Strike 3 call on an out-of-the-zone pitch last month are sick of this woe-is-me crapola.

Grow up, Little Miltie!

In a decision announced Thursday by MLB honchos, Bradley's suspension for getting into Vanover's face back on April 16 was reduced from two games to one.

Milton's reaction?

"I never get treated fairly." 

Why? 

"Because I'm Milton Bradley, you know what I'm saying?"

Oh, do we ever. Poor, poor, pitiful me.

Look, those of us who have been around Chicago sports for awhile heard this same sad song in the 1990s. Back then, NBA refs had it in for poor, misunderstood Dennis Rodman.

Well, maybe if The Worm wasn't always cursing out, mocking and head-butting them, the refs wouldn't have been "out to get" him. 

And maybe if Milton Bradley wasn't always tearing the umps a new one, they wouldn't be "out to get" him.

Like ballers and ballplayers, umps and refs are only human. Treat them like dirt and they aren't likely to cover you with roses.

Act like a child and you get detention, Little Miltie. Deal with it.

(For more, here's the Bradley story I wrote for AP.)

The Quote

"I love Jim Hendry. He's the most honest, decent person I've ever met ... probably ... as far as GMs go." - Bradley, after the Cubs GM publicly backed his $30 million hothead.

Wow. Could Bradley possibly have thought of another qualifier to describe his love for Jim Hendry? Maybe Milt could have added "on a Thursday in Chicago"?

Lou-ism of the Day

Asked if this was the best bench he's had since he started managing the Cubs, Piniella said: 

"Oh gosh, they've improved the bench. I'm talking about the cushions."

THE BALDEST TRUTH

After a few minor hiccups, it didn't take long for the Cubs to re-establish themselves as the class of the NL Central.

There are some very nice stories in the division. Some better-than-expected teams, too. The Cardinals, especially, won't give up or concede anything. But the Cubs have spent so much more money on so much more talent than every other club. And most times, talent does win out.

The Cubs haven't come close to having their whole team healthy this season and they've played pretty bad for long stretches. Yet their record is right where it was last year, when they won 97 games and ran away from the field.

It doesn't bode well for the rest of the division.

Of course, the Cubs actually going on to win a playoff game is a whole 'nother story.

Lots of Bull. Also: Milton Bradley isn't game

^

The Bald Truth

Despite their 8,000-point home loss to the Celtics in Game 3, it wasn't all bad for the Bulls.

At least this time, Vinny Del Negro didn't leave his team with no time-outs for the crucial closing seconds.

The Quote & The List

"The Celtics have gotten all of the breaks." - Comcast Sports Net's Kendall Gill, before Thursday night's game.

Oh, absolutely! 

And now let's count those breaks the Celtics have gotten in this series:

5. How fortunate for Boston that Kevin Garnett has a bum knee and can't play. Had that talentless loser been in the lineup, Big Baby Davis never would have had a chance to repeatedly humiliate whatever that is the Bulls call defense.

4. That missed free throw by Paul Pierce at the end of regulation in Game 1 was a huge break for the Celtics. Sure, they lost instead of winning, but they also got to play overtime, which obviously got them ready for Games 2 and 3.

3. The sprained ankle Rajon Rondo suffered during Game 2 was perfect for the Celtics because he was starting to get a little bored going around Derrick Rose and the rest of the Bulls' alleged defense.

2. The season-ending injury to backup forward Leon Powe made it possible for the great Brian Scalabrine to get playing time. I mean, it was hard to imagine the Celtics having a chance without any headband-wearing, red-headed geeks.

1. The Celtics losing Game 1 and nearly losing Game 2 clearly made the Bulls overconfident. Which is perfectly understandable given that Boston is the defending NBA champion and the Bulls had to scramble just to make the playoffs.

The Balder Truth

At least Rose always will have Game 1.

Before canonizing the kid, everybody forgot he is, in fact, a kid.

When he says he has to improve a lot, believe him. Or just watch the tape of his Game 3 turnover-a-thon.

The Quote II

"It was like one team was in the playoffs and one team was in the preseason." - Bulls captain Kirk Hinrich.

No list, embellishment or further comment necessary.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Three weeks into the Cubs' season, and Milton Bradley has had the exact same number of hits as ejections, suspensions and media feuds.

For those scoring at home, that's one of each.

This guy is going to be a piece of work all season, as illustrated by Thursday's goings-on at Wrigley Field. Here's a link to the story I wrote for AP: 

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-cubs-bradley&prov=ap&type=lgns

Unlike my beat-writer colleagues, I really don't care if Cousin Miltie ever talks to me or not. And I don't think most Cubbie fans care if he engages the media, either. They just want him to get healthy, stay out of trouble and hit. And I just want him to opt against picking me up and throwing me into a dumpster.

One thing for sure: Lou Piniella already is getting a little impatient with the $30 Million Head Case. Like the rest of us, the skipper must be wondering why Bradley won't accept MLB's two-game suspension (for umpire abuse) while he's hurt instead of waiting until he's healthy.

Assuming Bradley ever gets healthy, that is. 

My favorite part of the day was listening to the Cincinnati baseball writers who covered Piniella back in his wild-and-crazy Reds heyday speculating on how long it will be before Sweet Lou goes all Rob Dibble on Cousin Miltie.

Hey kids ... more than five months of fun to go!

Bad newspaper news - the only kind these days

^

The Bald Truth

Another bleeping sad day in my bleeping former business.

The Chicago Tribune on Wednesday whacked dozens upon dozens of newsroom staffers, including sportswriters Melissa Isaacson, John Mullin, Bob Sakamoto and Terry Bannon. Also given the boot was a great sports photographer, Chuck Cherney.

Meanwhile, the douchebags there are trying to pay some $13 million in bonuses to managers, directors and other honchos. Un-bleeping-real.

I'd laugh if it wasn't so freakin' sickening.

Every once in awhile, I get a call from a relative or friend asking if I considered writing for this newspaper or that magazine. These folks are well-meaning, but they don't understand that the jobs simply aren't there. Online jobs that pay anything at all aren't there, either.

Sam Zell bought a news empire he couldn't come close to affording. He has destroyed pretty much everything he has touched at Tribune Co. And he has gutted one of the best newspapers in the land.

He's kind of like the clueless people who run my former company, GateHouse - only more evil.

The Balder Truth

That's one nasty tattoo first-year Cubbie Micah Hoffpauir has on his back, just beneath his right shoulder blade.

It looks like a combination of a baseball and a squid, with long tentacles streaming away from the ball.

"It was supposed to be a baseball with flames coming out of it, but it's horrible," Hoffpauir told me. "It's gotta be the lamest tattoo ever. I'm glad it's on my back so I don't ever have to see it when I look in the mirror!"

There's nothing to love about his tat, but there's a lot to like about his 'tude. Hoffpauir's statement that he has to "pay my dues" while waiting to become an everyday big-league ballplayer showed a maturity and perspective unusual among today's athletes. 

While Hoffpauir and his .375 average returned to the bench for Wednesday's 3-0 loss to the Reds, Milton ".043" Bradley was back in the Cubs' lineup Wednesday.

He went 0-for-4. Again.

Bradley has as many ejections (and suspensions) this season as he does hits. The $30 Million Man was booed repeatedly - and lustily - by Cubbieland denizens. 

This could get real ugly real fast, folks.

And I'm not talking about a flaming baseball tattoo.

Sorry, Celtics ...

... But after this one reference, I will never again call it the TD Banknorth Garden.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

In the biggest no-brainer of the NBA awards season, Derrick Rose was named Rookie of the Year. He then admitted that he had been lying every time he said he hadn't even thought about winning top rookie honors.

"When I first came into the season, my big thing was to get this award," he now says. "I told you all that I didn't care, but when you're coming in, you really do want this."

It's tough to get mad at the kid for fibbing, especially now that he's being honest about the fib. It was about as innocent a fib as one can make, too.

John Paxson has done many good things as the Bulls' GM (and plenty of questionable things), but the best thing he ever did was get lucky as hell in the 2008 Draft Lottery.

Without Rose landing in their laps, the Bulls would be a team with a murky future and an even worse present.

With him, they've got a better than 50-50 chance to knock off the defending champs.

As I like to say after making one of my rare birdies: Luck is better than skill - always.

If getting '16 Olympics means fixing potholes, bring on The Games!

^

The Bald Truth

I was having a great day Tuesday: Got my taxes paid, had a fantastic workout at the gym, saw an entertaining finish to the White Sox opener on TV (with all-time good guy Jim Thome hitting the winning 3-run homer) and enjoyed dinner with my good Marquette buddy John Lamich.

Then, driving home after dinner, I hit one of Chicago's 8,449,066 potholes. Flat bleeping tire! 

By all means, Mayor Daley, show those Olympic honchos how wonderful you're taking care of "The City That Works."

Arrrrgh!

The Balder Truth

First Comcast Sports Net complaint of the young baseball season: 

They were able to show the mph on the 80-something slop Mark Buehrle was slinging, but when Kyle Farnsworth was throwing heat later on ... nothing.

I wanted to see the speed of Farnsie's strikeout pitch to Carlos Quentin - as well as the speed of the Farnsie fastball that Thome launched into orbit.

Good Point

While everybody was gushing over Thome's homer - and justifiably so - Ozzie Guillen went out of his way to praise an excellent defensive play by new third baseman Josh Fields and a pretty piece of hit-and-run hitting by new second baseman Chris Getz.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Back in spring training 2005, Nomar Garciaparra, ready to start his first full season with the Cubs, batted something like .900 with a jillion home runs. (Not quite, but you get the drift.)

Many prognosticators - though not this one, thankfully - were picking the Cubbie Savior for NL MVP and his team for the pennant.

The No. 5 jersey was all the rage at Wrigley, and Cubbie Love was at a fever pitch.

Unfortunately for Nomar and his believers, the season started.

Garciaparra wasn't just bad, he was brutal. And a few weeks in, after batting .157 with only one extra-base hit, he tore his groin to smithereens. He was done. So were the Cubs.

Flash forward to 2009. New Cubbie Savior Milton Bradley had a monster spring training. Yes, he was The Answer to the believers' prayers.

Then the season started.

Through two games, he's 0-for-7 and hasn't gotten the ball out of the infield. He has hit four grounders, including one for a DP, popped out twice, struck out once, walked and botched a flyball in right.

One big difference between 2009 and 2005 is that Bradley has a lot better players around him than Garciaparra did. Another big difference is that the division is not as strong.

So please, I'm not predicting that Bradley will bat .157, get hurt and take the Cubs down with him.

I really do expect him to hit. Then again, I expected Nomar to hit, too.