Wacky, wild, weird, wonderful, woeful: What a week it was!

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It's been an interesting week, to say the least ...

Losing With ... Um ... Style?

My old-man softball team, which won the regular-season fall title, lost in the second round of the postseason tournament. It wasn't your run-of-the-mill defeat.

After a hit by our opponent early in the game, our shortstop took the relay and tried to throw the runner out at third, but our third baseman wasn't on the bag. Our shortstop yelled at our third baseman, who took umbrage and yelled back. The two moved closer to each other and jawed for a couple of minutes while players from both teams watched in bemusement. After the inning, the third baseman walked off the field, said, "I've had enough of this shit," and left the ballpark. Amazing.

We didn't play well and trailed 18-10 going into the bottom of the sixth. But we rallied gamely, scoring 5 runs that inning, giving up one run in the top of the seventh and scoring 3 in the bottom of the seventh to pull within 19-18. We had the bases loaded and two outs. Our batter scratched out an infield hit to tie the game, but our runner at second tried to come all the way around to score and was called out on a very close play at the plate. The umpire's emphatic call led to much whining (and more than a little cussing).

So the game went into extra innings ... and we lost. On the final play, our baserunner went into second standing up and made contact with the opposing second baseman. Tempers flared and much shouting ensued. Shortly thereafter, our left fielder -- who earlier in the season had almost brawled with our first baseman -- somehow got into it with the umpire. The two were wrestling like a couple of ancient polar bears; in the process, our left fielder pulled the umpire's shirt over his head, hockey-style.

Yep, we're a bunch of codgers but we still have fire in our ever-expanding bellies!

Losing With Consistency

The Panthers, my adopted team, pulled off the rare feet of losing twice at home within 5 days. In so doing, they went from having a fairly commanding lead in the NFL's worst division to having little chance to repeat as NFC South champs.

The Panthers have never had back-to-back winning seasons. Yes, that's never as in NEVER EVER. And it certainly looks like the streak will continue. The team's decision to go cheap in the defensive backfield, at wide receiver and on the offensive line has created too many weaknesses to overcome.

As is usually the case in sports, a team gets what it deserves.

Love The Ump!

I had an assignment at one field and then had to hustle to a completely different facility to umpire another game. The first game went into extra innings, so I didn't get to the second game until the bottom of the first inning was just ending. They had started the game with one of the dads calling strikes and balls while standing behind the pitcher's mound.

At the end of the inning, I walked onto the field. The coach who saw me first smiled broadly, shook my hand and said something most umpires never hear:

"Thank God you're here!"

Only The Best For The Cubbies

After yet another awful season, the Cubs are ready to hire ex-Rays manager Joe Maddon to finally get them to the promised land. Nobody denies he is the "best manager available."

If I were a cynic -- and we all know I'm not, right? -- I might point out that Lou Piniella and Dusty Baker each unquestionably was the "best manager available" when hired to rule over Cubbieland. If memory serves, the same even was said about Don Baylor and Jim Riggleman.

Yeah, optimists might say, but things will be different this time. The Cubs actually have a management plan. In Theo Epstein, they have a president with a proven track record of building World Series winners.

Oh, that is different. It's not as if Andy MacPhail had ever built a winner before coming to Cubbieland.

All I know is that nobody under the age of 106 ever lost a cent betting against a Cubs championship.

Eagles Are Flying Again

The Scholars Academy Eagles -- the middle-school girls' basketball team I coach -- held our tryouts and our first practice of the season this week.

Our team is deeper, taller, more experienced and, I believe, more talented than we were last season. At our first practice last year, we had trouble making layups. Layups? What am I saying? We had trouble making a single layup! Yesterday, we were making most of them ... and some jumpers, too.

Both the athletic director and executive director (that's right -- charter schools have executive directors, not principals) already have commented how good the team looks. Great. I was just thinking I need a little more pressure in my life!

I think I'll wait until we've played a game or three before I declare us a juggernaut-to-be. We still will be smaller than most opponents, still will have to scrap and fight for every win.

We also still have to show we will have the same kind of chemistry last year's team did.

The first game is Nov. 13 ... and I'm already nervous!

A Giant Among Giants

So many are praising Madison Bumgarner so much that this is where the voice-of-reason in me usually says: "Slow down. He isn't really the best World Series pitcher ever."

But you know what? He might be.

That last relief outing, with Bumgarner pitching 5 shutout innings in the Giants' 3-2 Game 7 win over the Royals ... wow!

When Joe Buck asked after the eighth inning: "How can Bruce Bochy take him out of the game?" I actually screamed at the TV: He can't!

Kudos to Bochy for not thinking he needed to do more managing. It was similar to Ozzie Guillen's understated managing during the White Sox's run to the 2005 title. Ozzie, you'll remember, let four straight starters pitch complete games in the ALCS.

Had Tony La Russa been San Fran's manager, you know damn well that he would have felt compelled to use a half-dozen relievers  -- and not one of them would have been half as good as Madison Bumgarner!

Riding A Writing Hot Streak

I just completed a three-part series for financial site Seeking Alpha about excellent Dividend Growth Investing opportunities. (Read Part 3 here.) The first two parts have combined to draw some 40,000 pageviews and 1,000 comments, and each of the three was designated an "Editors' Pick."

It's almost as if I used to be a writer or something!
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Who'da thunk it? Turns out that reality is the best Reality TV

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Wow! What a night of baseball!

Just remember one thing: While you are ripping into the Red Sox and Braves for two of the biggest choke-jobs in the history of sports, don't forget to give a big thumbs up to the Rays and Cardinals for their amazing finishes.

See, this is why we don't need no stinkin' reality TV. Sports is the original reality TV ... and it's 100 times better than all of the pretenders.

Now where was I? Oh, yeah ...

How about those Red Sox and Braves? What a bunch of freakin' chokers!

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And now the postseason predictions:

ALDS: Tigers over Yankees in 5 ... Rays over Rangers in 4. The AL has been weird all season, so why stop now?

NLDS: Phillies over Cardinals in 4 ... Brewers over Diamondbacks in 4. Going with chalk in the NL.

ALCS: Tigers over Rays in 6. Too much Verlander and Cabrera.

NLCS: Phillies over Brewers in 6. Classic matchup of pitching vs. pop, and -- surprise! -- pitching wins.

WORLD SERIES: Phillies over Tigers in 6. The best team prevails ... as long as the bullpen does its job.

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Ozzie, Marlins: Be careful what you ask for

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So, how far into the 2012 season will Jack McKeon again become the Marlins' interim manager?

On another note, it's pretty hard to argue that Bud Selig was wrong about the wild card adding excitement to baseball.

Of course, I'm not saying those races are any more exciting than the Cubs' pursuit of a fourth-place tie with Pittsburgh.

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Sox Nation deserves itself

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A lot of Red Sox fans say they can't root for the Yankees even though, in the slog for the final AL playoff spot, the Red Sox desperately need the Yankees to beat the Rays.

A lot of Red Sox fans are stupid -- and deserve to be fans of a team that's on the precipice of one of the great collapses in sports history.

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Did Riggleman really do that?

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Not sure if Jim Riggleman is a Turkey of the Year candidate for walking away from his Nationals managing job just as the team was getting halfway decent ... or if he deserves plaudits for standing up for what he believes, regardless of the consequences.

Riggleman thought the Nationals should have picked up the option year on his contract. He thought he deserved that much, and he's right. The team thought otherwise. So he quit.

No matter what you think of quitters, you have to agree that it takes cajones to walk away when things are pretty good. I mean, anybody can quit when things are rotten, as Jim Leyland and Lou Piniella have. Repeatedly.

I always liked Jim. When he was the Cubs' manager from 1995 to 1999, he was the ultimate straight-shooter. I can't imagine any manager handling the wild Sosa-McGwire season of '98 better than he did. Tony La Russa didn't handle it better, that's for sure.

Of course, La Russa had a great track record before that and has a great one since (despite being McLiar's enabler-in-chief). The same can't be said of Riggleman.

Still, Riggleman knows that everything in baseball is recycled. Even in the unlikely event that he never manages again, he'll be some team's third-base coach or bench coach as long as he wants to stay in the game.

Turkey? Nah. It's hard to resist a guy willing to tell his boss, "Take this job and shove it."
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This must mean Pujols is worth $80 million a year

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Ten million bucks for Carlos Pena?

Just think how much the Cubbies would have paid him if he had batted above the Mendoza line last season!
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Today's High 5 - Postseason Baseball Edition

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5. Gotta admit I'm pulling for the Twins - and not just because their manager, Ron Gardenhire, is an actual human being. (Unlike Tom Kelly, the royal rectum I had to cover during my years at AP in Minneapolis.)

No, I'd like the Twins to still be playing in November just so I can see Bud Selig shivering in a box seat as he dodges snowflakes and pretends to enjoy himself at Target Field. I know ... I'm a little warped.

Now, reality: It's hard to envision the Twins getting past the Yankees. For all of their talent, these Yankees are not invincible, mostly because of suspect starting pitching. If the Twins were healthy - if Justin Morneau were available to launch a couple of HRs at Yankee Stadium - I might go with the Twins. But he's not, so he won't.

Yankees in 4.

4. It's Rays vs. Rangers in the Who Cares Series. Not even Tampa/St. Pete fans really care, though I suspect they'll pretend they do and show up just because it's the postseason.

Although the Rangers can flat-out mash and Cliff Lee gives them a legitimate horse, the Rays simply are better. Better rotation, better bullpen, better direction, better fundamentals, better speed, better defense.

Rays in 4.

3. The Reds are a pretty cool story and I really enjoyed covering Dusty Baker during his time in Cubbieland. Still, for everything Cinci has, the Phillies have more.

Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels? That's almost unfair. Not to mention all of that recent postseason experience - and history of postseason success - to carry them if things get a little dicey. (Though I'm saying it won't.)

Phillies in 3.

2. The Phillies don't even have the most feared arms in the playoffs. The Giants do.

Healthy, maybe the Braves steal a couple of games. Banged-up as they are, it's hard to envision them giving Bobby Cox a very satisfying sendoff.

Giants in 4.

1. As for the World Series ...

I'm saying Rays over Phils in a flip-flop of '08.

Yep, it'll be really something when tens of fans show up for the ticker-tape parade through downtown St. Pete.
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Fred McGriff, meet Derrek Lee

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Nine years ago - back in the days when a person could take a 6-ounce can of shaving cream onto an airplane without being labeled a terrorist - Fred McGriff refused to leave Tampa Bay to join the Cubs. He liked the comfortable life he and his family had built in Tampa and he merely was exercising his no-trade rights.

Chicago fans branded him a loser. How could he be willing to stay in a no-win situation instead of coming to Cubbieland to join a team with such a glorious history of championship baseball?

Wednesday, Derrek Lee refused to leave the Cubs in a proposed trade with the Angels. He likes Chicago, his family is comfortable here and he merely was exercising his no-trade rights.

Many in Chicago are calling him noble.

In sports, as in real life, it's all about perspective.

Lee went one step further, saying he hopes to sign a new long-term contract to stay with the Cubs - who, of course, have little choice but to say, "No thanks."

Derrek Lee is one of the real class acts to come through this town during my 16 years here. He just isn't a great ballplayer anymore. He's almost 35, the Cubs desperately need to get more left-handed and they can ill-afford to pay an eight-figure annual salary to a non-contact-hitting first baseman with warning-track power.

If the Cubs wanted Micah Hoffpauir, they could call him up from the bush leagues.

With Faux Mr. Clutch Aramis Ramirez saying he expects to exercise his $14.6 million option for 2011, the Cubs already are saddled with so many bad contracts for next year and beyond.

The Cubs should have traded Lee after last season, when he still seemed able to play a little and would have had actual value. The acquiring team could have sweetened his contract some and Lee probably would have agreed to go. There would have been much grumbling around Cubbieland, but it's almost always better to trade a player one year too early than one year too late.

Though Lou Piniella and several teammates said they were thrilled Lee's sticking around, Derrek did the Cubs no favors. Now they'll get nothing for him. It's their only choice.

Back to McGriff ...

He dd eventually accept a financially sweetened deal to join the Cubs in '01. The rest was history: The Cubs were still losers and Cubbieland got to see the most incompetent first baseman to come around these parts in many a decade.

Made everybody really appreciate Derrek Lee when he arrived three years later.

Fun with stats

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The Bald Truth

After pitching his no-hitter against the Rangers on April 18, 2007, Mark Buehrle won only one of his next eight starts and had a 4.61 ERA through June 9 as the White Sox tumbled helplessly out of the race.

After throwing his no-no against the Astros in that hurricane-displaced game at Milwaukee on Sept. 14, 2008, Carlos Zambrano was 14-5 with a 3.41 ERA in 28 starts. Cra-Z then allowed 13 runs in his final two regular-season outings, was lousy (and received lousy defensive support) in losing his only playoff start and has followed in 2009 with his worst season as the Cubs have been baseball's biggest busts. Total stats since the no-hitter: 8-8 with a 4.32 ERA over 29 games for the $91.5 Million Man.

After pitching his perfect game against the Rays this past July 23, Buehrle was 11-3 with a 3.28 ERA. Batters were hitting .247 against him, with a .286 OBP and .411 slugging average. Since then, he is 1-6 with a 4.91 ERA in 11 starts and batters are at .322/.366/.496 against him. No wonder the Sox have spiraled to oblivion.

So here's a little tip for all future Chicago pitching aces: Whatever you do, avoid throwing no-hitters!

The Balder Truth

Say this much about Milton Bradley: He made the Cubs interesting to follow this season.

Yep, they weren't nearly as boring as in 2008, when they were stuck with Mark DeRosa and the rest of a 97-win team.

Oh, and by the way, DeRo on Monday hit two more homers for the victorious Cardinals.

Jeesh ... talk about rubbing it in.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Projecting the results backward from the moment the Cubs banished Bradley to baseball's Nowhere Land, here is an irrefutable fact:

Had they never signed him, they'd be 149-0.

Take that, Cardinals!

Perfection!

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The Bald Truth

I love the term "perfect game." I don't know who coined it and I don't really care. I just love it.

Because it takes perfection to do what Mark Buehrle (and only 17 big-league pitchers before him) did Thursday. Perfection by the lead actor, and perfection by his supporting cast.

The Rays rarely hit the baseball hard against the White Sox ace all day. There were a couple of foul line drives and a couple shots hit right at perfectly-placed infielders. Buehrle only faced five 3-ball counts all day. The game took just 2 hours, 3 minutes to complete.

Pretty damn perfect.

When it looked like the perfection might end, DeWayne Wise made a perfect play in center field, scaling the wall to rob Gabe Kapler of a ninth-inning home run.

Ozzie Guillen had just made a perfect managerial move, getting Wise into the game, moving Scott Podsednik from center to left and putting lumbering Carlos Quentin on the bench. Podsednik doesn't make that catch. Period.

Josh Fields, who has been perfectly awful pretty much all year, picked the perfect time to hit a grand slam. His second-inning shot ensured that Buehrle never really had to worry about the outcome, just the perfect game.

And Ramon Castro, who as A.J. Pierzynski's backup rarely plays, caught perfectly, too. Buehrle never shook him off all day - which is especially amazing given that the two had never before been batterymates.

There are so few perfect performances in sports - or in any walk of life. It was an honor to have been in the ballpark to witness this one.

Good Guys Finish First

Mark Buehrle is Everyman, so when he does something special - and he's done a lot of special things in his fine career - you have to appreciate it even more.

He's not a hulking dude with a 100 mph heater, not an intimidating character with a wild mustache, not a nervous Nelly, not a me-first yahoo. He's just a regular guy - a 38th-round draft pick, for cripe's sake - who happens to be capable of getting big-league batters to make outs.

He's a clubhouse cutup, a fun-loving fool, a self-depricating guy who often is described as "the perfect teammate."

His body? He looks more like a sportswriter than a multimillion-dollar athlete. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

It's refreshing that Everyman can pitch two no-hitters, including a perfect game, and be part of a rotation that delivered Chicago's only baseball championship in the last 92 years.

One of my favorite things about Buehrle: He's jinx-proof.

In both Thursday's game and in his 2007 no-hitter, he laughed at the entire idiotic notion of jinxes.

You know how teammates aren't supposed to go anywhere near a guy pitching a no-no? Well, on Thursday, Buehrle was going up to his teammates and asking them, "So, you think I'm gonna do it?" He and Pierzynski talked about what was happening between just about every inning.

If the perfect game was going to happen, it was going to happen.

And it happened.

How perfect.

The Balder Truth

Aside from his family and perhaps his teammates, Buehrle's biggest fan Thursday was a guy who hadn't stepped foot in U.S. Cellular Field since 2002: Jim Parque.

Why? The former mediocre Sox lefty had written a first-hand piece for Thursday's Sun-Times in which he admitted to taking HGH in an effort to overcome what proved to be a career-ending injury. (Click here for the account I wrote for AP.)

Several media types, including my good buddy, Tribune columnist Rick Morrissey, were at the ballpark expressly to write about Parque.

Personally, I find it hard to blame Parque for trying to save his career. It's not as if he was jabbing himself with needles full of anabolic steroids hoping to get bigger, stronger and faster. I have a bigger problem with him lying after he was named in the Mitchell Report, blaming others for his own actions.

Anyway, Parque was going to be the big headline in Friday's newspapers and the big story on Chicago's TV and radio broadcasts. Instead, he's barely a footnote.

If I'm Buehrle, I'm sending Parque a note saying: "Hey, dude ... YOU'RE WELCOME!"

The Quote

"Those last three batters, I'm like: 'It's not gonna make or break your careers - just swing!' " - Jamie Buehrle, Mark's wife.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

This was the first perfect game I ever covered but my second no-hitter. The first no-no was a real stunner: Minnesota's Scott Erickson, who the previous season had given up more hits than any pitcher in baseball, tossed one on April 27, 1994, at the hitter's paradise that is the Metrodome. (Back then, before my column-writing days, I was the AP sports guy in Minneapolis.)

Actually, I only kind of covered Buehrle's. I'll tell you what I mean by that and, in the process, share with you how the world's largest news gathering organization deals with such things.

As you might imagine, no-hitters are big deals to AP because they are so rare. Perfect games, obviously, are HUGE deals. 

When a pitcher has held a team hitless after five innings, the writer at the ballpark - be it an AP staffer, such as Chicago's Rick Gano and Andrew Seligman - or a freelance "stringer" (such as yours baldly), must call the AP baseball honchos in New York and let them know what's going on. The same drill is repeated after the sixth and seventh innings.

If a pitcher still has a no-no going after seven and if a stringer is covering the game, AP tracks down one of its sportswriters and summons him or her to the game. It doesn't matter if the writer has the day off or is working on something else; AP wants him or her there.

Why? Because a no-hitter story - and especially a perfect-game story - will be used by just about every newspaper and Web site that subscribes to the AP wire. Understandably, the folks at AP want one of their sportswriter's names - a "byline" - on the story. (As a stringer, I don't get a byline.)

And so it went Thursday. When I called to let them know Buehrle was still perfect after seven, the New Yorkers called Seligman, who got in his car and started driving from Chicago's far North Side to the South Side. 

Meanwhile, I kept working on the story, getting facts lined up in preparation for the big event. If the no-hitter got broken up while Andy was en route to the park, we would have dealt with it.

After the eighth inning, I sent everything on my computer screen to Ron Blum, AP's outstanding baseball writer/editor in New York. As Ron edited it, I stayed on the phone with him, feeding him whatever additional info he needed as he put together the story.

Seligman arrived at The Cell just after Wise made his catch. Andy got caught up with everything as Blum and I stayed on the telephone through the final two outs.

Perfect game! AP had the story on the wire within moments.

While Seligman told Blum about some of the on-field celebration and eventually worked his way to the press conference featuring Buehrle and Guillen, I went to the White Sox clubhouse to talk to the players. Our able assistant stringer, Seth Gruen, went to chat with the Rays.

Upon our return to the press box, Seth and I e-mailed the quotes we had gathered to Andy, who was busily putting together an updated version of the story. Andy's piece was edited by Blum and others in the New York office and came back looking nice.

I was asked to do a "sidebar" on Wise's catch - click here - which I happily did. 

Was I bummed that I got "nudged" aside for Andy, whose name was on the main story? Not at all.

When AP was my full-time employer, I reported to the ballpark for several in-progress no-hitters. I was the nudgee, not the nudger. It's kind of like Wise going into the game, Podsednik getting told to take left field and Quentin getting sent to the bench. We all have our roles in life; I like to think Pods and Quentin were just fine with theirs Thursday.

In the end, Buehrle got his perfect game, Andy got to the ballpark just in time, AP got its stories (which means millions of readers got them, too) ... and, well, I guess I got the right to say I covered a perfect game, after all.

Give 'em 1 minute, they'll give you 2 L's

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The Bald Truth

So I was watching Dennis Leary's Rescue Me with my wife when we put the show on pause to check out what was happening in Tuesday night's Chicago ballgames.

Within a 60-second span, Gordon Beckham grounded weakly to the pitcher with the tying run on base to end the White Sox's come-from-ahead loss to the Rays and The Great Jeff Samardzija served up Jayson Werth's 13th-inning homer to cap the Cubs' loss to the Phillies.

 

And then my wife and I switched back to Rescue Me, distracted only by the realization that our fine city is a mere three months away from yet another Cubs-Sox World Series.

Once Upon A Time

Hey, didn't Bobby Jenks used to be more than just another bad reliever with a goofy beard?

The Balder Truth

Now that they're 1-6 in games in which Mark DeRosa has played, the Cardinals must be trying to figure out what they need to do to get him back on the Cubs.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Cool story by Yahoo! football writer Michael Silver, who tells of a phone conversation he had with Chad Ochounodostrescuatrocinco. Apparently, during a Lakers game last spring, the former Chad Johnson had a sit-down with Denzel Washington - who told Chad to stop being such a tool.

"He wasn't being gentle," C.O. told Silver. "He said, 'You know what? You need to straighten up and stop fussin' about something you have no control over. Make it fun again because it sure looks better when you do it that way.' That's all I needed to hear, especially from somebody like him."

By all means! After you're done getting real coaches fired, make sure you pay attention to a make-believe coach.

My sources tell me that Denzel's final words to C.O. were this:

"Oh, and remember the Titans!"

One-hit MLB wonders and all-time HBO hits

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The List

I like and respect ESPN's Tim Kurkjian, but like all of us professional analysts, he sometimes says silly things. Just the other day, he told viewers that the Tampa Bay Rays can't possibly be one-hit wonders because teams rarely go from pennant winners one year to also-rans the next. 

Now, I'm not saying the Rays will be one-hit wonders, but you don't have to employ a team of investigative reporters to unearth recent Series-to-suckers examples.

Just to jog Mr. Kurkjian's memory, here are five one-hit wonders in the last decade alone:

1. 2007-to-08 Rockies. They never should have started putting baseballs in a humidor.

2. 2006-to-07 Tigers. See what happens when you sign every free agent the Yankees don't want.

3. 2005-to-06 Astros. Apparently, it's impossible to recover after losing a World Series to a Chicago team.

4. 2003-to-04 Marlins. While the Cubs are in their 101st year of championship-free baseball, the Marlins have built, destroyed, built and destroyed two Series winners in the last dozen years.

5. 1998-to-99 Padres. But on the plus side, Tony Gwynn batted his weight.

The List (Non-Sports Version)

Top 5 dramas in HBO history:

1. The Wire. I just finished watching Season 2 On Demand and am eagerly awaiting the start of Season 3 ... and then No. 4, which is as good as any season of any show ever aired on any network. I had watched The Wire's five-season run when it was on originally and loved it then, but watching it again, with the perspective of knowing the show's arc, makes it even more enjoyable. Superbly acted and realistically written, The Wire is centered around the Baltimore Police Department's mostly hopeless fight against crime. But it's the many side stories - involving drug lords, corrupt politicians, public education woes, etc. - that make the show really special. If you've never seen The Wire, start renting it now. And that's an order.

2. Six Feet Under. Just about every character on this show, which is based in a funeral home, is outstanding. Especially noteworthy are angst-filled teenager Claire, her recently decloseted gay brother David and their deceased father (who regularly appears in dream sequences). I won't give the series finale away, but I will say the episode is as satisfying a conclusion as any I've seen.

3. Deadwood. I feel totally ripped off that this marvelous series lasted only three seasons. Early on, the media fixated on the vulgar language spoken by these 1876 pioneers. Soon enough, though, anybody who really took the time to watch this deliciously gritty show realized it was more than curse words. Ian McShane's evil entrepreneur Al Swearengen is one of the great villains in TV history.

4. The Sopranos. Many would rank this iconic show first, and I'd have no quibbles. That it could rank fourth on my list speaks well of the quality television HBO has produced over the years. If you're one of the few who doesn't already know about Tony Soprano and his fellow Mafia men, you owe it to yourself to enjoy this series. But rent or buy the DVDs; the sanitized syndicated version on A&E just isn't the same.

5. (tie) True Blood and In Treatment. After quite a few swings and misses - yes, I actually (and regrettably) watched the entire season of John From Cincinnati waiting for something to happen - the quality of these current series gives me hope that HBO will continue to offer up great television. True Blood is a smart, sexy, occasionally creepy show about vampires being assimilated into Louisiana society (and the women who love them). In Treatment follows a shrink (portrayed perfectly by Gabriel Byrne) who deals with his patients' demons - and his own.

Cubs: "We'll have the usual, thank you"

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The Bald Truth

Gee, is spring training over already? Why, it seems as though pitchers and catchers reported only a few millennia ago. 

I think Octo-Mom popped out a half-dozen more kids - and Madonna adopted them - since spring training started ... and yet Rich Harden still looks like he needs another month to get ready for the 20 or so starts he'll make this season for the Cubbies.

Anyway, the season has started with Sunday night's Phillies-Braves game (not to mention the White Sox's announcement that Monday's scheduled opener already has been rained/snowed/sleeted/frozen out), so let's finish the official BTB baseball predictions for 2009.

I'm already on record with my division winners: Both Chicago teams as well as the Phillies, Diamondbacks, Red Sox and Angels. The postseason field also will include the wild-card-winning Yankees and Dodgers.

In the first round of the playoffs: Red Sox over White Sox; Yankees over Angels; Phillies over Dodgers and Diamondbacks over Cubs in (of course) a three-game sweep. Because what is a Cubs postseason under Lou Piniella without a demoralizing, humiliating broom job at the hands of the NL West champion?

The Red Sox will top the Yankees in the ALCS while the Phillies handle the D-Backs to win another NL pennant. 

And for the third time in six years since becoming un-cursed, Boston wins the World Series.

Now for some individual awards:

AL MVP: Mark Teixeira, Yankees.

NL MVP: Albert Pujols, Cardinals.

AL Cy Young: Roy Halladay, Blue Jays.

NL Cy Young: Derek Lowe, Braves. (I wrote this before he humbled the Phillies on Sunday - honest!)

AL First Manager Fired: Ron Washington, Rangers (but Joe Girardi had better not have another lousy April in the Bronx).

NL First Manager Fired: Cecil Cooper, Astros (but Dusty Baker has to watch his back with Walt Jocketty now running the Reds).

The Balder Truth

After Michigan State impressively thrashed his UConn Huskies, it was interesting to hear Jim Calhoun get all introspective when it comes to his career. He might keep coaching, he might not, he'll let us know later.

Well, if he was going to get all deep and metaphysical, maybe he should think about his team not taking part in the time-honored tradition of cutting down the nets after it advanced to the Final Four by winning the West Regional. He said he and his lads simply wanted to wait until they got to cut down the nets after the national championship game.

That would have been like the Tampa Bay Rays not celebrating following each postseason round last season because they wanted to keep the champagne on ice until after the World Series.

One of baseball's fun traditions is the celebration after the clinching of a playoff berth and then again after each round. The champion gets to celebrate four times in a month. How cool! Cutting down the nets - after winning a conference title, a regional title and/or a national title - is every bit as cool.

The UConn players might never get another chance. And the way Calhoun was talking, he might have cut down his last net five years ago when he could have experienced the thrill again just last week. What a shame.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

What was that I said a few days ago? UConn vs. Villanova for the NCAA title? Ugh. Don't remind me.

Time for yet another mulligan!

First, I have to ask myself a question: How could I have picked anybody to beat North Carolina, clearly the best team in college basketball?

Sorry Tar Heels ... it's kiss-of-death time:

North Carolina 83, Michigan State 74.

Red Sox and Phillies: Beasts of Easts

^

What a great time of year to be a sports fan. 

College basketball decides its champion on the court. (Are you listening, NCAA football?) The NBA and NHL postseasons are about to start. (Reportedly, those leagues will crown champions sometime before September.) NFL teams are preparing for the draft. (Meanwhile, NFL players make court appearances and trade demands.)

Best of all, Opening Day approaches. (And I get to make a bunch of predictions that smart fans will summarily ignore before calling their bookies.)

Play ball!

AL EAST

1. Boston Red Sox: Now that they got rid of that cancer-causing loser, Manny Ramirez, the sky's the limit for this crew. And no matter what, the Sox know they can rely upon never-injured stalwarts such as J.D. Drew, David Ortiz and Josh Beckett. Seriously, given all that went wrong for the Red Sox last season, it's easy to forget that they won 95 games and got to the ALCS. As usual, they've assembled a powerful roster and a nice rotation, and Jonathan Papelbon has moved to the fore as the one guy I'd want on the mound in the ninth inning of a Game 7. 

2. New York Yankees: It's wonderful that the team is bringing back Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio to throw out the ceremonial first pitches at the new Yankee Stadium. And you thought Ted Williams' head was the only thing that had been cryogenically frozen all this time? For the Yankees to avoid the slow starts that have plagued them in recent years, they'll need dominant pitching in April, when pitching is supposed to dominate. With CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett (or is it C.C. and AJ?), they seem to be armed well enough to overcome the early absence of A-Roid Rodriguez. But just in case they do struggle early, maybe we should start the "What day will Joe Girardi get fired?" pool right now.

3. Tampa Bay Rays: Back in 1998, the Cubs sent Kerry Wood to the minors to start the season, leading then-Angels manager Terry Collins to say that if the Cubbies had five pitchers better than Wood, they were a cinch to win it all. And now here we are, 11 years later, and the Rays have sent 2008 postseason phenom David Price to the minors. P.S.: The Cubs didn't win it all in '98, and the Rays won't do so in '09 after coming oh so close last year. It's hard to imagine them being able to duplicate their 97-win success, isn't it? Well, Evan Longoria & Co. will get the chance to prove all of us wrong again. 

4. Toronto Blue Jays: Where's Joe Carter when you need him? Remember when the Yankees and Red Sox were just good enough to lose and Toronto ruled this division? Honest, kids! Ask your dads. The Blue Jays obviously remember ... how else to explain Cito Gaston's return as manager? What next? Ed Sprague at third base? The only way this team escapes fourth place is if Roy Halladay wins 35 games. If anyone can do it, he can.

5. Baltimore Orioles: With Felix Pie, Cesar Izturis, Rich Hill and Andy MacPhail, what could possibly go wrong?

NL EAST

1. Philadelphia Phillies: It was a rough season for Phillies fans because they didn't have nearly enough opportunities to boo their heroes in 2008 - especially in October. That trend figures to continue in '09. The Braves have better pitching depth, the Marlins might have a better lineup and the Mets have the division's top leadoff man and starting pitcher. Having said all that, it's the Phils who do everything well - as evidenced by the championship rings on their fingers. If Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Cole Hamels and their other studs stay healthy, Philly will contend for No. 1 in baseball again.

2. Florida Marlins: With their young, powerful lineup, no wonder tens of Marlins fans turn out at Dolphins Stadium every night! I doubt there are five better players in all of baseball right now than Hanley Ramirez, and he has plenty of support. If Ricky Nolasco, Josh Johnson, Chris Volstad and the team's other young pitchers continue to grow up, the Marlins could have the kind of special season their Tampa Bay neighbors had in '08. Florida won 84 games a year ago, so it's not an outrageous leap.

3. New York Mets: Their petition to have the season shortened to 150 games was denied, so I don't like the Mets' chances to avoid another heartbreaking choke-a-thon. With Jose Reyes at the top of the order and Johan Santana at the top of the rotation, with Carlos Beltran, David Wright and Carlos Delgado providing power and with newcomers Francisco Rodriguez and J.J. Putz anchoring an overhauled bullpen, the Mets would seem to have enough to win this division. Then again, they seemed to have enough in 2007 and 2008, too. Oh well, at least they have a new ballpark named after a failed bank going for them.

4. Atlanta Braves: They are delighted with new hurler Javier Vazquez, but those of us who caught his act on the South Side would caution Bobby Cox to avoid using Javy in any game that matters. Not that the Braves figure to have many of those down the stretch. Atlanta added Vazquez and Derek Lowe to an already decent staff, but age and offensive deficiencies make a .500 record a stretch.

5. Washington Nationals. See Adam Dunn hit a home run! See Adam Dunn strike out three times! Thanks for coming and drive home safely.

(Tomorrow: AL West and NL West.)