My Hall of Fame ballot ... and my new steroid policy

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When I sat down to fill out my annual Baseball Hall of Fame ballot, I knew one thing for certain:

The 10th box I checked next to an ex-ballplayer's name would be merely a symbolic choice.

Each Baseball Writers Association of America voter can make only 10 selections in a given year ... and I have a better chance of shooting a 72 at Pebble Beach than any player I considered for that final choice has of getting into the Hall.

So it came down to this:

Do I vote for a guy who had a very good career and was considered a credit to the game, or do I vote for a guy who I'm pretty sure cheated? Or do I just stop at 9? (Voters don't have to vote for 10. Heck, we don't have to choose anybody, and several of my peers turn in blank ballots every year.)

Why do I know my vote won't really matter? Because after the top few candidates, none will come close to getting support from 75% of the BBWAA electorate. It's kind of like voting for the Libertarian or Green Party candidate -- you know he or she has no chance of winning, so you do it because it feels good or to make a statement.

My choices came down to Barry Bonds, who was convicted of obstruction of justice in connection with his long-time steroid use; Roger Clemens, who was named as a steroid cheat in the Mitchell Report but was found innocent of lying to Congress about his juicing; and Alan Trammell, a good guy and good player who helped usher in the modern era of offensive-minded shortstops.

Unlike some of my colleagues, I will consider Bonds and Clemens because I firmly believe they were Hall of Fame players even before they allegedly began juicing. However, in the absence of firm Steroid Era guidance from the Hall or the BBWAA, I recently established my own policy:

++ If a player is the subject of completely unsubstantiated rumors (think Frank Thomas, who some thought "must be on steroids because he's so big"), I will tune out the noise and consider him as early as his first year on the ballot.

++ If a player is the subject of steroid whispers that conceivably might have merit (think Jeff Bagwell and Mike Piazza), I will not consider him as a first-ballot candidate to see if any new information gets fleshed out. If, after a year of additional scrutiny no new information is presented, I will consider him beginning in his second year on the ballot.

++ If a player likely was a steroid cheat but all available evidence showed that he had a Hall-worthy body of work before the juicing began (think Bonds and Clemens), I will consider him but only beginning with his fifth year on the ballot. I want to allow plenty of time before checking that box.

++ If I am convinced that a player could not have compiled the stats that made him seem Hall-worthy without him having been a rampant juicer (think Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa), I will not vote for him.

So, under my steroid policy, Bonds and Clemens are ineligible for my serious consideration until I fill out my ballot two years from now.

That left me to decide between Trammell or no 10th choice at all.

I decided to go with Trammell. I know him, I like him and I respect the way he went to work day after day, month after month, season after season. He was a fine fielder whose bat had some pop, kind of a poor man's Cal Ripken Jr. He was the face of the Tigers franchise for 20 years. And he was the 1984 World Series MVP.

Let the record show that I have not voted for him in the past, and I'll say right now that I might not vote for him again next year, which will be his final turn on the ballot. I also will say that I could have voted for any number of other fine ex-ballplayers here, including Edgar Martinez, Don Mattingly, Lee Smith, Jermaine Dye and Larry Walker. Like Trammell, none of them ever will get to 75%, either.

And so, here are the 10 players who received my check marks:

Jeff Bagwell

Craig Biggio

Randy Johnson

Pedro Martinez

Mike Mussina

Mike Piazza

Tim Raines

Curt Schilling

John Smoltz

Alan Trammell

Bagwell, Biggio, Mussina, Piazza, Raines and Schilling were holdovers from last year. Details about why I chose them can be found in my post from Dec. 24, 2013.

As for the three newbies -- Big Unit, Pedro and Smoltz -- I consider them to be such no-brainers that I don't feel it's necessary to justify selecting them. I can't imagine why any voter would leave any of them off his/her ballot.

+++++++

In a related subject ...

One of my best friends in the business -- actually, like me, he is now out of the business -- decided not to cast a vote this year because he no longer felt he was qualified. I'm not going to name him because he didn't give me permission to do so. His reasoning, and I'm paraphrasing here, is that back when he was an active member of the media, he thought some voters who had become ex-sportswriters grew out of touch, and now he feared he would be that voter.

My response to him was that he would be that voter only if he let himself be that voter.

Speaking for myself, I still follow baseball closely and I still care about who gets into the Hall of Fame. In some ways, I can follow the game better now because I'm not almost exclusively watching Cubs and White Sox games.

Moreover, the guys who are coming up for vote now are the very players I witnessed first-hand during the prime of my career. I was there when John Smoltz dueled Jack Morris in the Game 7 of the the best World Series I've ever seen. I admired the brilliance of Pedro Martinez and the consistency of Craig Biggio. I didn't need to see the Big Unit in person to know he was a Hall of Famer ... but it didn't hurt.

Maybe, one day, I will feel I am too removed from the game to be an effective voter, but that day is a long way away.

I enjoy being part of what I consider a very effective process for choosing Hall of Famers. I take it seriously. And, frankly, I do a pretty darn good job.
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Hall Call: My memories of Big Hurt, Maddux, Cox, La Russa and Torre

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A year ago, here's who was inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame: early 20th century umpire Hank O'Day, 19th century ballplayer Deacon White and Jacob Ruppert, who owned the Yankees from 1915-39.

Yep, it was quite a day filled with baseball memories for all those whose average age was deceased.

The 2014 class more than made up for it, thank goodness.

What a group: Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, Frank Thomas, Joe Torre, Tony La Russa and Bobby Cox. 

I had pretty good conversations over the years with five of the six - all but Glavine, who rarely pitched in games I covered.

Here are my impressions and memories of baseball's newest Hall of Famers ...

FRANK THOMAS

When I was a 30-something sportswriter in Minnesota, I remember watching The Big Hurt put a big hurtin' on the Twinkies, turning to the guy in the press box next to me and saying: "Frank Thomas might be the best hitter I've ever seen."

I had that thought many other times over the next several years. I'm pretty old, but not quite old enough to have seen the likes of Hank Aaron, Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle in their primes. And I wasn't even born when many of the greats of the game were long retired. So Thomas looked pretty damn good to me.

If you think I'm exaggerating, here was The Big Hurt's stat line his first 10 full seasons in the big leagues (1991-2000): .320 BA, 1.020 OPS, 34 HR per year, 115 RBI per year. He won two MVPs and finished in the top three 3 more times. What a stud.

He got old and injuries started biting him, but he still had some great seasons. When he was 38 with Oakland and 39 with Toronto, he totaled 65 HR and 209 RBI.

I also will remember Thomas as a sensitive guy who sometimes claimed he didn't care what others thought but who obviously cared very much about how he was perceived. So it wasn't surprising that he had to fight back tears during his induction speech.

Big Frank was a me-first guy, as many superstars are, and could be quite a whiner and excuse-maker. But he mellowed as he grew older. I remember how outwardly happy he was in the clubhouse when the White Sox won the 2005 World Series. Still, I could tell he was disappointed that an injury prevented him from really being part of that team.

Thomas also was a central figure in one of my favorite Karma's A Bitch incidents:

The Sox won the division in 2000 but got off to a poor start in 2001. Making matters worse, Thomas got hurt in early May. Tub of goo pitcher David Wells, who was brought in to give the team "an edge," opined on his radio show that Thomas was a baby who refused to play with pain. When Thomas ultimately was diagnosed with a torn triceps that required season-ending surgery, Wells refused to apologize. Fittingly, the corpulent Wells sustained a back injury that ruined his season. I guess the big baby couldn't pitch with pain.

GREG MADDUX

As instant replay gets used more and more frequently, occasionally somebody brings up the possibility that cameras and computers might one day replace the home-plate umpire. The next Greg Maddux had better hope that never happens.

Maddux lived just outside the strike zone. Because he had such pinpoint control, he was given calls that few other pitchers got. He was smart enough to take advantage of it, working that outside corner for all it was worth.

And it was worth a lot, including 355 wins and 3,371 strikeouts. 

The myth is that Maddux was a lobber for the entirety of his career, making those 3,000-plus K's even more incredible. The fact is that for more than half of his career, Maddux could pop the catcher's mitt pretty darn good - I'm talking 92, 93 mph with regularity. His control and speed changes made his fastball seem ever faster, too.

Maddux made the majors in 1986, one year after I became a full-time sportswriter. However, I was only an observer from afar until the Cubs brought him back in 2004.

Fanfare? Hype? Please! Those words don't come close to the all-out giddiness Cubbieland was going through when the team added Maddux to a pitching staff that carried the team to the NLCS the previous year. Sports Illustrated put 'em on the cover and predicted an end to the 95-year championship drought.

The question wasn't if the Cubs would have the best starting rotation in baseball. It was: Where does this staff rank in the history of baseball? Heck, some even argued that the Cubs had the best-hitting and best-fielding rotation of all time. What? Not the best-looking, too?

After the Cubs signed Maddux, I wrote that it obviously was a great move but it guaranteed nothing because they still had shortcomings at catcher, shortstop, in the bullpen and at the top of the order. Wow ... did I get a lot of angry email over that one - including one from the managing editor of the newspaper we owned in Peoria. He wanted to know why I couldn't be more "positive."

My response was that I was positive ... that the Cubs were still the Cubs, and no living person had ever lost a dime betting against the Cubs winning a championship.

The Cubs didn't have the kind of postseason choke job that they had the previous year ... because they choked down the stretch in 2004 and missed the playoffs entirely. The Cubs lost 7 of 8, and Maddux was rocked in his start during that span.

Over the next few years, I interviewed Maddux many times. He was bright and had a very dry wit, but he was extremely guarded around most of the media. I often would finish a 10-minute interview and think I had something interesting to write, only to listen to the recording and realize he had said mostly 10 minutes of nothing.

Having said all of that, Maddux was an amazing pitcher for most of his 23 years and casting a Hall of Fame vote for him was an absolute no-brainer.

Finally, something positive!

TONY LA RUSSA

I never particularly liked La Russa. He is buddies with Bobby Knight, Bill Parcells and others in the Bully Your Way To Success Club. It pained me to watch the talented and dedicated St. Louis press corps have to tiptoe around him, carefully asking questions lest they tick off King Tony.

The man could manage a ballclub, though. He sometimes tried to reinvent the wheel - as when he insisted upon batting the pitcher eighth for about a year and a half - but he usually had fantastic instincts. He definitely commanded respect from his players, including those who didn't particularly care for him.

I was several years from arriving in Chicago when he was a young White Sox manager and I rarely crossed paths with him during his time in Oakland, but I covered a lot of Cardinals games with him at the helm, including numerous dust-ups with the Cubs when the Cubbies actually were contenders.

He never backed down, trading barbs with Dusty Baker and even with Lou Piniella, whom he considered a friend.

Sadly, he turned a blind eye to the rampant steroid use that took place right under his nose in Oakland and he got in the face of anybody who dared mention that Mark McGwire was juicing. McGwire lied to La Russa's repeatedly and totally hung his manager out to dry - truly one of the worst parts of McGwire's stained legacy.

La Russa could hold a grudge with the best of them, so it was interesting and admirable that he hired McGwire as his hitting coach near the end of La Russa's run in St. Louis.

BOBBY COX

I used to like when the Braves would come to Wrigley Field and I had the opportunity to sit near Cox in the visitor's dugout a couple hours before the game. He would talk baseball with anybody who happened by, and I always felt like I learned something.

Otherwise, I didn't know him very well, but I am glad he won a World Series and I am surprised he didn't win more than one. 

In his Hall of Fame induction speech, he looked at Maddux, Glavine and John Smoltz - who was in Cooperstown as a TV commentator and who should join that Braves trio in the Hall next year - and said: "I can honestly say I would not be standing here if it weren't for you guys." 

That's true, of course, but it also demonstrated the humility that many say characterize Cox.

JOE TORRE

Including spring training and the inevitable postseason run, Joe Torre sat down 200-plus times per year with the massive New York media mob. Every time, he had something to give. 

An astute observation. An explanation of strategy. A diffusing of a touchy situation. A level-headed remark despite the furor swirling around him.

As much as Torre won with the Yankees, I'm sure many folks - especially younger fans - might not realize how much losing he did in his first 14 years as a manager with the Mets, Braves and Cardinals. Some criticized George Steinbrenner for hiring a thrice-fired "retread" to manage the Yankees. It turned out to be perhaps the best baseball decision the bombastic owner ever made.

Torre knew baseball plenty well, but what he really knew was how to deal with people. In that way, he was baseball's Phil Jackson - as much psychologist as strategist. Rarely has a manager or coach fit his team's personality better than Torre did the Yankees' of 1996-2007.

My favorite memory of Torre is this one:

On Sept. 11, 2001, the White Sox were in New York, where they were supposed to play the Yankees that night. The game obviously was never played and many White Sox were shaken up by being so close to the tragedy. When baseball resumed its season a week later - this time with the Yankees visiting Chicago - Sox manager Jerry Manuel sounded absolutely despondent. He wondered out loud if baseball even mattered anymore. I wanted to hug him.

Then I walked over to the other dugout to hear Torre, who recently had survived prostate cancer and whose brother had made it through a heart transplant.

"One thing I learned a few years ago is to enjoy things more. Don't worry about life. Let's live it right now, folks, take it as it comes and deal with it.

"Our lives have been changed forever, things we have taken for granted, things that happen on foreign soil that we say, 'How lucky we are that those things don't happen here.' Well, they can happen here. I told my team, 'We really don't know how to deal with this because we've never had to before.'"

He was asked what if baseball is interrupted again by another terrorist attack or even by World War III.

"I can't worry about what's behind the door. That's no way to live. That's like sitting around waiting for an earthquake. You simply can't allow that to happen. That would only add to the tragedy.

"We've been through so much. I think we're ready for baseball."

How good is this guy? If I were a ballplayer these last three decades and could choose my manager, I would have chosen Joe Torre, a Hall of Famer in ever sense of the word.

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Nobody is easier to hate than A-Roid

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First Down

Alex Rodriguez says the last year has been a "nightmare." Poor, poor, pitiful him. I mean, could there be a less-sympathetic figure in sports than A-Roid?

Barry Bonds and Pete Rose look freakin' noble compared to this guy.

I'd rather root for Mike Tyson or Bill Belichick.

Why should anybody believe A-Rod didn't juice when he was a young player in Seattle? Because he says so? That's a good one! If he handed me a quarter, I'd assume it was counterfeit.

Second Down

I am seriously pissed at Time Warner Cable for denying me Showtime -- and the last few episodes of Dexter.

We'll all have the last laugh when cable companies are completely unnecessary, a time that is coming sooner than TWC and its brethren think.

Third Down

In his most recent "Real Time," Bill Maher used his main "New Rule" to rip the North Carolina GOP for its unapologetic, mean-spirited return of the state to the 1950s -- when blacks, Latinos and women knew their place (and knew it wasn't North Carolina).

And to think, I hated Chicago politics.

Fourth Down

Went into my local Costco the other day and they had a table with large, framed, autographed photos of NFL stars. The guy featured most prominently:

Tim Tebow.

In a Jets uniform.

No punchline. None necessary.
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A-Roid & Dis-Grace battle for the bottom

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Mark Grace, long admired by Cubbieland denizens as a "good guy," is a convicted felon who soon will start serving a 4-month prison sentence. The former World Series hero -- not with the Cubs, of course, but with the Diamondbacks, for whom he began the title-winning rally in 2001 by singling off Mariano Rivera -- also has been fired from the Diamondbacks' broadcast crew.

This trouble stems from his second DUI in a 15-month span.

Now, some would argue that receiving a DUI doesn't necessarily remove Grace from "good guy" status. After all, lots of everyday folks do a little drinking, do a little driving and do a little getting caught.

I understand that, but here's the deal:

Grace has long been a party boy. Loves to drink and socialize. Is he an alcoholic? Probably, by definition, though I don't know for sure. What I do know for sure is that Grace made millions and millions of dollars as a ballplayer and also was getting paid handsomely as an analyst.

In other words, THE MAN CAN AFFORD A CAB!

While all this was playing out in Arizona, 2,000 miles away in Florida, Alex Rodriguez was one of several players who reportedly bought some performance-enhancing drugs within the last few years.

A-Rod, of course, is denying the accusation in very strong, "how dare anybody say such a thing" terms. It's very similar to the last time he denied a similar accusation, only to have to come clean and apologize for his transgression -- a transgression that very well could cost him Hall of Fame enshrinement down the line.

To say we have absolutely no reason to believe this proven liar and cheater is an understatement.

Now, who is "worse," A-Roid or Dis-Grace?

Alex Rodriguez cheated baseball, cheated fans, cheated kids who might have looked up to him and, in the end, cheated himself.

Mark Grace? He endangered every human being whose path he crossed when he drove his car under the influence of alcohol. He could have killed others and himself.

Given that, his transgression must be considered "worse."

That still doesn't mean Grace is a "bad guy." What it does mean is that he should spend some of his time in prison thinking about how he wants the second half of his life to play out.

He needs help, and I hope he gets it.
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A rough week for cheaters

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First, there was dopey doper Lance Armstrong vaulting past Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire into the No. 1 spot in the Lying Sleazeball Hall of Shame. Has any athlete ever cheated his way to more glory over a longer stretch than Lyin' Lance? As it turns out, his most noble act was helping Oprah get good ratings for his network. Given all that he overcame to be such a dominant sports figure, I never thought I'd utter this sentence: Lance Armstrong is a coward. 

Then came Manti Te'o. I'm still not buying the Notre Dame linebacker's lack of complicity in the whole "my fake girlfriend is dead" scam. For those who feel sorry for him, he did lie to both his father and to reporters about supposed face-to-face meetings with his online love. Come on, Manti ... even Jan Brady fessed up about George Glass shortly after inventing him.

Finally, it was Bill Belichick getting completely outcoached by the Ravens' John Harbaugh, who seemed to know what the Patriots were going to do before Belichick's team did. It's now been nine long years since Belichick's last title. I guess it's tough to be a genius without illegally spying on one's opponents.

***

Roberta and I just got back from Hawaii, where we spent six nights relaxing on Kauai and then six nights on Maui having fun with Katie and Ben. Aside from seeing the kids and enjoying fantastic weather, the highlight had to be our 5 1/2-hour boat trip -- during which we snorkeled with huge sea turtles, oohed and aahed as two male humpback whales brawled for the affection of a female and watched four spinner dolphins frolicking in the surf.

We also ate lots of good food, enjoyed a cold beer or three, got pummeled by humongous waves, hiked into Waimea Canyon and also into a bamboo forest, caught up on our sleep and watched an NFL playoff game that started at 8 a.m. local time.

Everybody defines paradise differently, but it's pretty hard to spend time in Hawaii and not believe you've found it.
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A Hall of a situation

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Yes, it was headline-worthy that not one candidate was elected to the Hall of Fame ... but really, was it that big of a surprise?

Even if any of the Royd Boyz do eventually get in, it is not the least bit shocking they were denied on their initial year as candidates. I specifically said I wasn't going to give the likes of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens the special honor of being first-ballot HoFers, and I'm sure dozens (if not hundreds) of my fellow voters felt that way, too.

Craig Biggio also didn't quite make it on the first ballot, but he has an excellent chance next year because there are many, many BBWAA voters who save first-ballot HoF status for only the best of the best.

Other observations:

-- I knew Sammy Sosa wouldn't come close to getting in but I was surprised he received fewer votes than Mark McGwire did. While those two will be linked forever in baseball history, Sosa finished with better numbers and also had more skills than McGwire did.

-- Again, I'm not stunned that Jeff Bagwell didn't get in, but I did think he would get more votes. I was relieved he didn't miss by one, because I already am second-guessing my decision to leave him off my ballot.

-- Don Mattingly received enough votes to stay on the ballot for next year but Bernie Williams didn't. There is zero doubt in my mind that Williams was the better, more important Yankee.

-- Lots of get-a-lifers -- yahoos who spend a good chunk of their time obsessing about the HoF -- said only idiots would refuse to put the Royd Boyz in the Hall on the first ballot while stating we very well might vote for Bonds and Clemens in future years. Well, here's what another first-ballot candidate, Curt Schilling, told ESPN:

"I think it's fitting. If there ever were a ballot or a year to make a statement about what we didn't do as players, this is it."

Schilling went on to say that even players who weren't juicers were complicit in the Steroid Era and deserved to be denied Hall entry. And he went out of the way to include himself among the guilty.

Schilling, who finished just ahead of Bonds and Clemens, got my vote. And now I feel even better about it.

-- Sad to see two guys drop off the ballot: Dale Murphy couldn't get anywhere near enough votes during  his 15 years of eligibility but truly embodied all the great things in sports; and Kenny Lofton, a fine player during his prime who almost surely deserved more than one year as a candidate (he didn't get the required 5 percent of the vote).

-- I sure as heck hope that the one writer who checked the box next to Aaron Sele's name did so as a protest vote.
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Hall ballot is all the (roid) rage

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Just got my Baseball Hall of Fame ballot in the mail.

This is The Big One:

Bonds, Sosa, Clemens and Piazza joining McGwire and Palmeiro in the first real Juicer Central Ballot.

Biggio, Schilling, Bagwell, Morris, Raines are among those also on a ballot packed with legitimate candidates.

I always take this seriously, as it's both a responsibility and a privilege, but will be extra diligent this time around. This is probably the most anticipated ballot in the nearly 20 years I've been a voting BBWAA member.

I'll post again after I've made my decisions.
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Baseball's enduring steroid stain

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Lots of people claim to be "old school," but they're not. I am.

Need proof? I get the newspaper every day. Need more proof? I read it, front to back. Need still more proof? I even read the agate pages in Sports!

For all you kids out there, the agate pages are those filled will bits of stats and facts and other minutiae and the print usually is really small. So small that us old-schoolers need good reading glasses.

Oh, and for all you kids out there, a newspaper is ... oh, forget it.

Anyway, something in the bottom right corner of the baseball agate page in today's Charlotte Observer caught my eye. It was a string of items in the This Date In Baseball feature that AP makes available daily. Here is the string:

1988 - Jose Canseco became the first major leaguer to hit 40 homers and steal 40 bases in one season.

2000 - Rafael Palmeiro became the 32nd player to hit 400 home runs.

2001 - Alex Rodriguez hit his 48th home run, breaking the major league record for shortstops.

2001 - Sammy Sosa became the first player to hit three home runs in a game three times in a season.

2006 - Barry Bonds hit his 734th career home run, an NL record.

Yep, in baseball's last quarter century, Sept. 23 was a big day for juicers.

Going forward, it's going to be interesting how the game deals with its history concerning this period.

It's difficult for the game to be proud of its heritage when so many of its major milestones were established by guys who got where they were by jabbing themselves in their keisters with syringes.

I mean, how many records and notable achievements involving home runs from 1985-2005 weren't influenced by steroids?
^

Guilty or innocent? That's just one question surrounding Braun

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What are we supposed to make of the Ryan Braun doping incident?

The give-a-dude-the-benefit-of-doubt and innocent-until-proven-guilty sides of me are happy that, if he really was innocent, he was exonerated.

The born cynic in me -- the one who is still mad at himself for letting down his guard and getting duped by Sammy Flintstone Vitamins and Mark McLiar -- can't help but shake the feeling that Braun got away with the juicing equivalent of manslaughter.

Mostly, I have questions ...

Given that some BBWAA voters didn't cast Hall of Fame ballots for Jeff Bagwell and Edgar Martinez on the mere suspicion of steroid use, will Braun be denied baseball's ultimate honor no matter how great his final numbers are?

Did an innocent Braun have to argue something that made him sound guilty -- a chain-of-custody screwup involving his urine sample -- because it really is impossible to prove one's innocence when one has been charged with doping?

Will his success at beating the charge embolden other ballplayers to try to cheat?

If Braun was guilty, why has he passed every other drug test he was given, including a follow-up test shortly after the one in question detected elevated levels of testosterone?

As with most issues, there are serious shades of gray. Opinions, however, are mostly black and white. Those who want to think Braun is guilty won't change their minds. Nor will those who want to think he's innocent.

Brewers fans will stick with him no matter what, the same way Giants and Cardinals fans who were deceived by Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire still cheer their heroes.

Braun has always seemed to be a decent guy. I want to believe him. It's not easy.

^

How 'bout a Big Mac for Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is all about tradition, so I'm back with my 13th edition of Turkey of the Year.

This tradition dates back to 1998, when Michael McCaskey had so mismanaged the Bears that his mommy took the team presidency away from him and sent him to his room without supper.

Since then, a veritable Who's Who of losers, lunkheads, dopers, dorks, bullies and boors have earned Top Turkey honors: Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight (2000); David Wells & Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron (2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry & Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006); Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009).

You'll notice that most of those fine folks had Chicago connections. Even Knight (Big Ten) and Weis (Notre Dame) were in the region. That's because I columnized and blogged mostly about Chicago sports during those years.

Now that I'm a man of the world (North Carolina is part of the world, right?), the 2010 Turkey Countdown has a much different look.

As always, I dedicate this tradition to my absent friend, Gene Seymour, my Copley columnist predecessor and one of the great guys I ever encountered in journalism.

So let's get to it ...

10. OMAR MINAYA. Architect of the most expensive losers in baseball. Hey, at least the Mets were champs of something during Minaya's run as General Mismanager!

9. BOBBY KNIGHT. Mr. I Hate The Media is now part of the media. And on this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that most members of the sports media are better at their jobs than Bobby is at his. The man is so awful as an ESPN analyst that I find myself wishing Dickie V were on the telecast instead. Really.

8. BRETT FAVRE. Seems the only thing he can make up his mind about is being a sleazebag.

7. MLB UMPS. I get that they have a tough job and that it's almost unfair to judge them based upon super-slo-mo replays. But these guys are so routinely bad that it's almost surprising when they get big calls right. And unlike Jim Joyce, most umps take no responsibility for their incompetence.

6. PETE CARROLL and REGGIE BUSH. They teamed up to do what no opponent could: bring USC football to its knees. They didn't even stick around to deal with the carnage they wrought, having bolted for the big bucks of the NFL. Makes you want to tell Reggie what he can do with that trophy.

5. BEN ROETHLISBERGER. Big Ben ... Good QB ... Bad Guy.

4. BRUCE PEARL. Years after he ratted out a dirty Illinois program, we learn that he's been running an even dirtier program at Tennessee. Wearing ugly orange blazers isn't punishment enough for this phony jerk.

3. LeBRON JAMES. Put on one of the most unnecessary, self-serving productions in the history of the world. But at least his talents have helped the Heat to an 8-7 start.

2. TIGER WOODS. Marriage? Over. PGA Tour victories? Zip. Ryder Cup? Back in Europe. New endorsement deals? Nada. No. 1 ranking? Now belongs to Lee Westwood. Talk about a rough year for the guy who had been the world's dominant athlete for more than a decade. I guess only bad things happen when a guy can't control his Eldrick.

And now ... drumstick roll, please ... the 2010 Turkey of the Year:

MARK McGWIRE.

Big Mac finally admitted he spent years juicing - and spent years lying about it. But even his admission was full of misleading statements.

He claimed he only juiced so he could stay healthy enough to play but then said his juicing had nothing to do with his home-run totals. Uh ... hello? How do you get the HRs without staying on the field? It's hard to believe McGwire was too stupid to make the connection, so we'll just assume he was being his deceitful self.

He obviously came clean for only two reasons: One, to clear his conscience. And two, to get the job as Cardinals hitting coach for his Chief Enabler, Tony La Russa. McGwire then worked wonders with St. Louis batters, who finished in the middle of the pack in most categories. Remember: This is a group that includes the best hitter in baseball.

Redbird bats really slumbered down the stretch. And as McGwire's charges faded, the Cardinals handed Cincinnati the division title.

Sadly, Cardinals fans - who like to call themselves baseball's best - took every opportunity to cheer their beloved cheater, liar and fraud.

Turns out, they got exactly what they deserved in 2010.
^

Ryan and Dubya will have Series to remember

^
Just as I predicted before the season, it's Giants vs. Rangers for baseball supremacy.

Think of it as the Former Juicer Bowl, with Barry's Boyz taking on the club that gave us A-Roid, RaFail Palmeiro, Juan Gone and a cast of dozens.

Or think of it as the matchup of clubs named for New York teams in other sports.

Or think of it as Fox TV's nightmare. No Yankees, no Red Sox, no Dodgers ... and, of course, because it is the World Series, no Cubbies.

So who wins?

With Cliff Lee heading the rotation for a short series, the Rangers have almost as much pitching as the Giants do. And the Rangers have a far better offensive attack.

Then again, the Giants do have Juan Uribe - and I'm not even saying that just to be funny. The man is clutch in the postseason. (They also have Mike Fontenot, my wife's favorite ballplayer because he's the only major leaguer she can post up.)

So ... I'm going with Ron Washington. Just a few months after being disgraced as a cokehead, it would be quite a story if he manages the Rangers to the championship. Their best player, Josh Hamilton, is a recovering druggie, too. One of the things I love about sports is its redemptive nature.

In addition, a Texas triumph would give Nolan Ryan, who never even sniffed a title in his eight or so decades as a player, a championship in his first season as owner.

And it would signal that maybe all the U.S.A. needs to fully recover from the mess we're in is more distance from George W. Bush.

After all, it took the Rangers 16 years to overcome Dubya, their managing partner from 1989-94.

Add it all up and ... Rangers in 6.

On the next Heroes: A-Roid and Bulky Barry

^

The Bald Truth

Thrilled to see Alex Rodriguez come through in the clutch for the Yankees. You know, it's about time one of America's unselfish, clean-living, freckle-faced lads gets a little well-deserved attention.

The Balder Truth

Congratulations, President Obama! Then again, if I had known that all it took to win the Nobel Peace Prize was not getting my hometown the Olympics, I'd have campaigned for Milford, Conn., decades ago.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

How wonderful that a San Francisco hospital has accepted a $250,000 donation from one of the city's all-time sports icons to create the modestly named Barry Bonds Family Foundation Playroom.

Besides a Lego station, a slide and a reading area, the playroom has intelligently placed dispensers for the clear and the cream at heights any kid can reach.

Urlacher, Cutler can learn from my new partnership

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The Bald Truth

Observant folks might notice that, right next to the lead headline of the day here on TBT, there is a new icon announcing that this friendly neighborhood blog is now "A Proud Partner of SportsFanLive.com."

It's true. The site was created about a year ago by David Katz, the former head of Yahoo Sports, and the ultimate goal - besides conquering the world - is to make SportsFanLive.com a go-to place for sports fanatics everywhere. There are blogs from all over the country (soon to include The Baldest Truth) as well as news items, interactive games, polls and oodles of opportunities for fans to find and chat with each other.

Check it out. And do so often. Every time that icon is clicked, I make another $1.2 million dollars!

OK, I'm exaggerating. I barely even get half that much.

In A Rush

Gotta hurry up and finish this thing. I'm planning a busy evening of watching anything but the X Games. Hello, syndicated reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!

The Balder Truth

Ex-Bears and current Vikings receiver Bobby Wade is catching grief from his former coach and teammates after telling a Twin Cities radio station that Brian Urlacher recently called Jay Cutler a "wussy." (Just trade the "w" for a "p.")

Nice to know that Bobby Wade can catch something. He sure didn't do much catching during his time in Chicago.

But hey, this is a fun story. Do I believe Wade's side of it? Sure, why not? Do I believe that if it's true it will make it impossible for Urlacher and Cutler to coexist, therefore undermining the Bears' title hopes? Nah.

Middle linebackers are supposed to hate quarterbacks. Just about every defensive player on the '85 Bears hated Jim McMahon, and vice versa.

Dat creative tension didn't stop Da Bearsss from winning da big one, my friends.

If I were a Bears fan, I'd worry much more about Cutler's reputation as a choker and a whiner than about whether or not the new QB has to pussy-foot around the old MLB.

Worth A Shot (& A Beer)

Then again, maybe President Obama should just invite Urlacher and Cutler to the White House for a few brewskis.

And Obama should do it sooner than later. A socialist Kenyan Muslim like him won't be able to maintain his grasp on the presidency for long.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The New York Times is reporting that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez were among the 100-plus evil-doers on the infamous (and supposedly confidential) list of ballplayers who tested positive for steroids in 2003.

Ho. And hum.

The Red Sox aren't going to give back their 2004 and 2007 titles. Nobody is surprised by this revelation. And fans sure as hell don't care.

The Times is to be commended for exposing Big Papi, Manny, A-Roid, Shammy and all assorted other juicers. And it should keep doing so as a public service ... even if the public barely can muffle its collective yawn.

Perfection!

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The Bald Truth

I love the term "perfect game." I don't know who coined it and I don't really care. I just love it.

Because it takes perfection to do what Mark Buehrle (and only 17 big-league pitchers before him) did Thursday. Perfection by the lead actor, and perfection by his supporting cast.

The Rays rarely hit the baseball hard against the White Sox ace all day. There were a couple of foul line drives and a couple shots hit right at perfectly-placed infielders. Buehrle only faced five 3-ball counts all day. The game took just 2 hours, 3 minutes to complete.

Pretty damn perfect.

When it looked like the perfection might end, DeWayne Wise made a perfect play in center field, scaling the wall to rob Gabe Kapler of a ninth-inning home run.

Ozzie Guillen had just made a perfect managerial move, getting Wise into the game, moving Scott Podsednik from center to left and putting lumbering Carlos Quentin on the bench. Podsednik doesn't make that catch. Period.

Josh Fields, who has been perfectly awful pretty much all year, picked the perfect time to hit a grand slam. His second-inning shot ensured that Buehrle never really had to worry about the outcome, just the perfect game.

And Ramon Castro, who as A.J. Pierzynski's backup rarely plays, caught perfectly, too. Buehrle never shook him off all day - which is especially amazing given that the two had never before been batterymates.

There are so few perfect performances in sports - or in any walk of life. It was an honor to have been in the ballpark to witness this one.

Good Guys Finish First

Mark Buehrle is Everyman, so when he does something special - and he's done a lot of special things in his fine career - you have to appreciate it even more.

He's not a hulking dude with a 100 mph heater, not an intimidating character with a wild mustache, not a nervous Nelly, not a me-first yahoo. He's just a regular guy - a 38th-round draft pick, for cripe's sake - who happens to be capable of getting big-league batters to make outs.

He's a clubhouse cutup, a fun-loving fool, a self-depricating guy who often is described as "the perfect teammate."

His body? He looks more like a sportswriter than a multimillion-dollar athlete. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

It's refreshing that Everyman can pitch two no-hitters, including a perfect game, and be part of a rotation that delivered Chicago's only baseball championship in the last 92 years.

One of my favorite things about Buehrle: He's jinx-proof.

In both Thursday's game and in his 2007 no-hitter, he laughed at the entire idiotic notion of jinxes.

You know how teammates aren't supposed to go anywhere near a guy pitching a no-no? Well, on Thursday, Buehrle was going up to his teammates and asking them, "So, you think I'm gonna do it?" He and Pierzynski talked about what was happening between just about every inning.

If the perfect game was going to happen, it was going to happen.

And it happened.

How perfect.

The Balder Truth

Aside from his family and perhaps his teammates, Buehrle's biggest fan Thursday was a guy who hadn't stepped foot in U.S. Cellular Field since 2002: Jim Parque.

Why? The former mediocre Sox lefty had written a first-hand piece for Thursday's Sun-Times in which he admitted to taking HGH in an effort to overcome what proved to be a career-ending injury. (Click here for the account I wrote for AP.)

Several media types, including my good buddy, Tribune columnist Rick Morrissey, were at the ballpark expressly to write about Parque.

Personally, I find it hard to blame Parque for trying to save his career. It's not as if he was jabbing himself with needles full of anabolic steroids hoping to get bigger, stronger and faster. I have a bigger problem with him lying after he was named in the Mitchell Report, blaming others for his own actions.

Anyway, Parque was going to be the big headline in Friday's newspapers and the big story on Chicago's TV and radio broadcasts. Instead, he's barely a footnote.

If I'm Buehrle, I'm sending Parque a note saying: "Hey, dude ... YOU'RE WELCOME!"

The Quote

"Those last three batters, I'm like: 'It's not gonna make or break your careers - just swing!' " - Jamie Buehrle, Mark's wife.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

This was the first perfect game I ever covered but my second no-hitter. The first no-no was a real stunner: Minnesota's Scott Erickson, who the previous season had given up more hits than any pitcher in baseball, tossed one on April 27, 1994, at the hitter's paradise that is the Metrodome. (Back then, before my column-writing days, I was the AP sports guy in Minneapolis.)

Actually, I only kind of covered Buehrle's. I'll tell you what I mean by that and, in the process, share with you how the world's largest news gathering organization deals with such things.

As you might imagine, no-hitters are big deals to AP because they are so rare. Perfect games, obviously, are HUGE deals. 

When a pitcher has held a team hitless after five innings, the writer at the ballpark - be it an AP staffer, such as Chicago's Rick Gano and Andrew Seligman - or a freelance "stringer" (such as yours baldly), must call the AP baseball honchos in New York and let them know what's going on. The same drill is repeated after the sixth and seventh innings.

If a pitcher still has a no-no going after seven and if a stringer is covering the game, AP tracks down one of its sportswriters and summons him or her to the game. It doesn't matter if the writer has the day off or is working on something else; AP wants him or her there.

Why? Because a no-hitter story - and especially a perfect-game story - will be used by just about every newspaper and Web site that subscribes to the AP wire. Understandably, the folks at AP want one of their sportswriter's names - a "byline" - on the story. (As a stringer, I don't get a byline.)

And so it went Thursday. When I called to let them know Buehrle was still perfect after seven, the New Yorkers called Seligman, who got in his car and started driving from Chicago's far North Side to the South Side. 

Meanwhile, I kept working on the story, getting facts lined up in preparation for the big event. If the no-hitter got broken up while Andy was en route to the park, we would have dealt with it.

After the eighth inning, I sent everything on my computer screen to Ron Blum, AP's outstanding baseball writer/editor in New York. As Ron edited it, I stayed on the phone with him, feeding him whatever additional info he needed as he put together the story.

Seligman arrived at The Cell just after Wise made his catch. Andy got caught up with everything as Blum and I stayed on the telephone through the final two outs.

Perfect game! AP had the story on the wire within moments.

While Seligman told Blum about some of the on-field celebration and eventually worked his way to the press conference featuring Buehrle and Guillen, I went to the White Sox clubhouse to talk to the players. Our able assistant stringer, Seth Gruen, went to chat with the Rays.

Upon our return to the press box, Seth and I e-mailed the quotes we had gathered to Andy, who was busily putting together an updated version of the story. Andy's piece was edited by Blum and others in the New York office and came back looking nice.

I was asked to do a "sidebar" on Wise's catch - click here - which I happily did. 

Was I bummed that I got "nudged" aside for Andy, whose name was on the main story? Not at all.

When AP was my full-time employer, I reported to the ballpark for several in-progress no-hitters. I was the nudgee, not the nudger. It's kind of like Wise going into the game, Podsednik getting told to take left field and Quentin getting sent to the bench. We all have our roles in life; I like to think Pods and Quentin were just fine with theirs Thursday.

In the end, Buehrle got his perfect game, Andy got to the ballpark just in time, AP got its stories (which means millions of readers got them, too) ... and, well, I guess I got the right to say I covered a perfect game, after all.

Kobe-Artest will make Kobe-Shaq seem like love-in

^

The Bald Truth

You gotta love the news that Ron Artest is joining the L.A. Lakers.

That means instead of Kobe getting pissed off four times a year at opponent Artest, Kobe gets to be pissed off 100 times a year at teammate Artest.

It also means Phil Jackson really has something to think about before making that final decision about his future in coaching. (UPDATE - Fri 7/3/09: Phil has decided to come back. Can't wait to see what book he assigns Artest at the start of the first road trip. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," perhaps?)

Mostly, it means Artest's rap career is about to take off big-time. I mean, look at what being in L.A. did for the vocal stylings of William Shatner!

The Balder Truth

I wonder what the other owners think about MLB having to lend $15 million to Rangers owner Tom Hicks - the guy who just a few years ago bid against himself to give Alex Rodriguez a $252 million contract.

Hicks is trying to sell majority ownership in the franchise. Word is, A-Roid has offered him $15 million and a lifetime supply of syringes.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

I've got my new favorite athlete and - get this! - he's a soccer player.

Just a few days after helping Team U.S.A. almost win the Confederations Cup - a tournament so huge it ranks as the sport's version of the Chick-fil-A Bowl - Landon Donovan ripped into Mr. Spice himself, David Beckham.

"If someone’s paying you more than anybody in the league, more than double anybody in the league, the least we expect is that you show up to every game ... " Donovan said in a soon-to-be-released book called The Beckham Experiment.

"Show up and train hard. Show up and play hard. I can’t think of another guy where I’d say he wasn’t a good teammate ... but with (Beckham) I’d say no, he wasn’t committed."

Beckham and Donovan have been teammates with the Los Angeles Galaxy. Beckham, the famed British sports icon, is being paid about $6.5 million a year by the Major League Soccer team - more than seven times the haul of Donovan, the league's fifth-highest-paid player.

Becks - as the London tabloids call him - was supposed to help popularize soccer in the United States.

Yeah, right.

One reason that hasn't happened: Soccer never will be popular here as a spectator sport because we prefer games in which a 2-1 final isn't considered a high-scoring rout.

Another reason: Beckham pays precious little attention to U.S. soccer, so why should we?

These days, Becks is on loan to European team AC Milan and isn't due to rejoin Donovan and the Galaxy for another two weeks. He had tried to get out of the contract altogether but couldn't.

In an excerpt of the Grant Wahl-authored book published in this week's Sports Illustrated, Beckham also is characterized as a cheapskate, refusing to pick up meal checks for Galaxy teammates who earn barely-poverty-level wages.

Apparently, nobody ever will be encouraged to Spend It Like Beckham.

So bravo, Landon Donovan.

Now go take up a sport that people actually care about. Ever think about trying your hand (and foot) at ultimate fighting?

Fiery Lou burns Bradley

^

The Bald Truth

At about 1 o'clock, Lou Piniella was insisting that he hasn't lost his passion for the game even as his Cubbies have been sinking into a morass of mediocrity.

"I've got as much fire as I ever had!"

A few hours later, after Milton Bradley struck out (again), got mad (again) and started busting up the dugout (again), Lou confronted the $30 million hothead in the tunnel on the way to the clubhouse and sent Bradley packing. It was only the sixth inning.

Fire, meet gasoline.

"He threw his helmet and smashed a water cooler, water flying all over; I just told him to take his uniform off and go home. Followed him up to the clubhouse and we exchanged some words. I don't like those things to happen. I'm just of tired of watching them. This has been a common occurrence and I've looked the other way a lot, but I'm done with it."

A few minutes after that, Geo Soto smoked a pitch some 400 feet for the game-winning 3-run homer. Nice to see Geo smoking the baseball as opposed to, well, you know.

The Cubs held on to win, but not before Carlos "Latino Wild Thing" Marmol - the people's choice for closer - tried very hard to lose the game (as he usually does) and Kevin Gregg - the people's choice for any role but closer - nailed down the victory (as he all too often doesn't).

In other words, just another boring Cubs-White Sox clash.

The Miltie Mess could kill Pennant Push '09 before it ever really starts. He's hitting .237 with little pop, he plays right field only slightly better than I play golf, he's getting booed by the home fans, he's moody and his manager has lost respect for him. 

Piniella said he simply got sick of watching so many Cubs going ballistic in the dugout; Bradley has done it repeatedly, but Carlos Zambrano and Ryan Dempster also have been among the guilty. Would Lou have sent Mike Fontenot home if the little infielder had taken a bat to the cooler? Doubtful. 

So Bradley feels like an outsider in his own clubhouse ... and maybe those feelings are at least a little justified. 

Before Friday's game Bradley told Paul Sullivan, the Tribune's outstanding reporter, that he doesn't feel close to any of his teammates.

After the Cubs' 5-4 victory, Bradley's mates publicly supported him - mostly. Alfonso Soriano, another slumping slugger and one of the team's leaders, said this:

"He's a great guy. The only problem with him is his attitude sometimes. A lot of people don't like that, but that's him. I hope when he comes back he can help the team win. If he's not 100 percent to help the team, we don't need him."

Ready? Everybody sing: "We are fam-i-lee! As long as we don't count Mil-tie!"

You know, as families go, these guys are far more Soprano than Brady.

Remember This

Infamous irritant A.J. Pierzynski so often has been involved in big plays - especially in these intracity games, it seems - that we've come to expect huge hits and bizarre happenings.

Well, he doesn't always come through. And his work isn't always memorable.

After Latino Wild Thing pitched the Cubs into serious trouble in the eighth, Pierzynski strode to the plate against Sean Marshall. One pitch later, the Cubs turned an easy double play and the White Sox were toast.

Ozzie Guillen's blunt assessment: "Bad at-bat."

A.J. must have been thinking: Damn! Where was Michael Barrett when I needed him?

The Balder Truth

A bunch of us Chicago-chapter Baseball Writers Association of America members got together before the game. The topic: Should we draft a proposal asking the Hall of Fame to give the BBWAA guidance for dealing with juicers?

The verdict: thumbs down. (I was among those who spoke up for this majority decision.) 

Hall honchos already give us guidance, including "integrity" and "character" on the list of what we should be considering. So we should just trust our judgment, as we have successfully for decades.

If the Steroid Era results in several years of no new players getting in, so be it. 

Lou-ism of the Day

"I smoked dope one time in my life and it didn't do a damn thing for me and I never smoked it again."

This a few days after he said he didn't know the difference between steroids and reefer.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

"What To Do With Miltie?" is a most unpleasant problem for Piniella.

A much nicer problem - but one that still might cause migraines: What To Do with Jake?

Aramis Ramirez will be coming off the DL soon and Lou can't wait to put him back at 3B. The problem? That's where Jake Fox has been playing - and he has been by far the hottest hitter on a team desperate for offense. 

Fox, who tore up Triple-A pitching for two months, had three more hits Friday, including a homer and a double. He's at .395 and the ball is jumping off his bat.

Said Piniella: "I like his bat, put it that way, I really do. We'll see where we use it, but how can you not put his name in the lineup every time you have a chance?"

How, indeed?

Problem is, Fox can't play SS, 2B or CF. He had been a catcher once upon a time but long ago was deemed inadequate there. (Besides, Soto finally has started to hit now that he's stopped taking hits).

That leaves 3B, 1B, LF and RF.

Third, of course, belongs to Ramirez. First is Derrek Lee territory, and he's been the only other consistently good hitter lately. 

Soriano is not much of a LF and he's been bad at the plate for nearly two months. But he has unique skills, he has been known to get hot at a moment's notice, he is popular with his teammates, Lou likes him and he is guaranteed $100 million over the next 5 1/2 years.

Hmmm ... methinks another Miltie meltdown is coming soon. 

Stepping out of MJ's shadow

^

The Bald Truth

Although I've had only a few conversations of any length with Jeff Jordan, I can tell he's a good kid.

Intelligent, humble, likable, respectful, proud to be Michael's son but anxious to make his own way in the world. 

Many are surprised by Jeff's decision to walk away from his backup role at Illinois to concentrate on his studies, but it makes perfect sense. 

He proved he could make it as a jock - going from walk-on to scholarship athlete by playing good defense, working hard in practice and growing into a leadership role - but, as he said in his statement: 

"I have come to the point where I’m ready to focus on life after basketball.”

Playing college sports is a huge time commitment. My daughter played two years of Division III ball and she had little life outside the team. And the commitment is even more all-consuming at the major-college level.

Jeff only was going to play a few minutes a game for the Illini and he wanted to get on with making his mark outside of athletics. So he opted to step out of his dad's long basketball shadow to focus on real life.

It was an admirable, mature decision.

Nice job, kid, and good luck.

The Balder Truth

NBA teams are in love with the potential of Spanish teen Ricky Rubio, who is expected to be either the second or third player drafted Thursday.

Well, he might be the goods. Or he might not be. Nobody really knows.

Give me Stephen Curry. He can handle the ball, he's an excellent passer and he'll be a big-time 3-point shooter.

A stiff breeze could carry Curry into the next county, true, but we know he has a lot of game.

Can anybody really say as much about Ricky Rubio?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The fine folks of Albuquerque are going ga-ga for Manny Ramirez, and you know he'll receive much the same treatment when he returns to Tinseltown.

Yep, baseball fans sure are outraged by these juicing cheaters!

Ryno slams El Roido

^
The Bald Truth

I've not yet decided how I'll vote when Sammy Sosa's name appears on the Hall of Fame ballot in five years. Ryne Sandberg, who hopes to be the Cubs' manager by then, is giving me the punt sign.

That's right: Ryno is saying no-go to El Roido (a.k.a. El Corko).

"Part of being in the Hall of Fame, they use the word integrity in describing a Hall of Famer ... and I think there are gonna be quite a few players that are not gonna get in," Sandberg told a Chicago radio station Tuesday.

Yes, there is an integrity clause ... but it's tricky. Should spitballer Gaylord Perry have gotten in? What about selfish Reggie Jackson? Racist jerk Ty Cobb? Should I vote for Robbie Alomar, who spat in an umpire's face?

Ryno unquestionably is right about the last thing he said, though. No matter how I vote, I doubt the likes of Sosa, Mark McGwire, Gary Sheffield, Manny Ramirez and Rafael Palmeiro will get in.

There simply is too much sentiment against the cheaters. McGwire, the first of the eligible juicers, has gotten less love from BBWAA voters than Jon has lately from Kate (and vice versa).

Even Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds are in doubt.

And I really don't like the Hall chances of Alex Sanchez and Felix Heredia, who must not have followed directions on their 'roid labels very well.

The Quote

"People love me everywhere I go." - Manny Ramirez

Especially people who sell syringes.

The Balder Truth

While talking to reporters before Tuesday's game, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen saw that the Dodgers' Juan Pierre was listening in.

Ozzie: "We're gonna play 10 guys in the infield. You're not bunting! I tell you, we're gonna have everybody in the middle."

Juan: "When I get a bunt base-hit, I'm gonna look right at you!"

Ozzie: "Two million dollars if you get a bunt base-hit on me!"

Thanks to a diving catch at third base by Gordon Beckham - robbing Pierre of a bunt hit in the eighth - Ozzie gets to keep his millions.

It was the only good news on this night for Guillen, whose impotent losers fizzled again at home.

A Hall of a Voter

Longtime loyal reader Doug Nicodemus asked why I have a Hall vote. Here's the deal:

Every 10-plus-year member of the Baseball Writers Association of America in good standing gets a ballot. Because I was in the BBWAA for 25 years before my newspaper company so generously set me free, I received lifetime membership - and lifetime Hall voting rights.

So I'm kind of like a Supreme Court justice, only more objective - and not quite as bald as Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

It is absurd that MLB is letting Manny be Manny for a bunch of minor-league "rehab" games before his drug suspension ends.

Maybe they were just worried he wouldn't be able to make ends meet without that Triple-A meal money: 20 bucks a day.

No cork-popping for Sammy

^

The List

Sammy and his handlers aren't talking publicly yet, but they already are getting their excuses lined up in a row:

5. It was a mistake. I just picked the wrong drugs, the ones I use for batting practice - just to put on a show for the fans. I like to make people happy.

4. I accidentally took the spiked supplements that Miguel Tejada gave Rafael Palmeiro.

3. No comprende, senor.

2. Have you ever tried to pick up the key to New York City? It's heavy, buddy! I had to do something to get a little stronger.

1. It was A-Rod's cousin's fault!

The Bald Truth

But seriously, folks ... I don't know about you, but I am shocked.

Shocked, I tell you!

I mean, who would have looked at Sammy Sosa back in his 60-plus-homer heyday and thought, "Hey, this guy just might be ingesting more than Flintstones vitamins, his claimed performance-enhancers"?

Sammy was so svelte back then. Not at all Michelin Mannish. His head wasn't the size of a musk melon, only a cantaloupe.

And he was so even-keeled. No 'roid rage with Sammy. No paranoia. No moodiness. He was always about the team. Never about the stats. Never about the money. 

He certainly wasn't the kind of guy who'd panic and react to a slump by corking a bat or anything.

Hey, just because the New York Times says Sammy's name was on the list of 104 juicers - right up the alphabet from A-Roid Rodriguez - in what was supposed to be an anonymous testing back in 2003, does that make it true?

Next thing you know, all these negative nabobs will be saying that Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds were taking steroids, too!

The Question

While giving journalistic props to the Times and to Sports Illustrated (which broke the A-Roid story earlier this year), doesn't it make you squirm just a little knowing that something supposedly done in strict confidence is being leaked to the media drip by drip?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

They are all guilty, every last one. 

From the juicers themselves to the skinniest dude in cleats who never even took aspirin to the managers to the GMs to the union honchos to The Commish.

They all knew it was going on and they all looked the other way.

Nobody's clean. Nobody.

So when the time comes, do those of us with Hall of Fame votes check the box next to Sosa, Bonds, Roger Clemens and their ilk ... or do we refuse to vote for anybody who played between 1983 and 2004, even if it means we have to turn in blank ballots?

Prince Albert, the anti-Manny and other baseball musings

^
One-third of the way through the baseball season, here are 13 musings from a guy who has no hair to get in the way of rational thought:

1. The NL Central, full of flawed teams, is up for grabs.

The high-priced Cubs would seem to be the best of the bunch but how good can they be if they lose one player (Aramis Ramirez) and fall apart? The Brewers have iffy pitching and lousy fielding. Even with a healthy Chris Carpenter, the Cardinals are short on arms. The Reds are too young. The Astros spent far too much dough on old hitters. The Pirates being the Pirates, they already have moved into fire-sale mode.

2. Ditto the AL Central, except even moreso. 

The Tigers have serious bullpen issues. The Twins don't have one starting pitcher any opponent fears. The White Sox are poorly constructed, with too many big-bucks oldtimers, too many not-ready-for-prime-time kids and too few ballplayers who are just right. The Indians are loaded down with injured players, one-dimensional guys and one-hit wonders. The Royals have Zack Greinke and, um, did I already mention Zack Greinke?

3. At least the NL Central has a chance to produce the wild-card team. 

If you don't win the AL Central, you finish 10 games out of the playoffs. If not 20.

4. Chris Carpenter is a marvel. 

He's like one of those old-time bobo dolls: Punch him in the nose and he keeps popping back up. Except he has much better stuff and much less to say.

5. If I tried to sell a screenplay about Bobby Scales, it would have been thrown back in my face as farfetched and corny.

"A 31-year-old substitute teacher who spent 11 years in the minors suddenly contributing to the mighty Cubs? Tell me another one. And what's that? They sent him back down to the minors but had to call him right back up after Ryan Freel got hurt - and he immediately helped them again? Have another drink, doofus."

6. Zack Greinke and Roy Halladay are baseball's best pitchers.

But if I had to win one game, I'm not sure I'd choose either over Johan Santana.

Or Bartolo Colon. 

(Just wanted to make sure you were still paying attention.)

7. Whatever injury Joe Mauer had, we all should be so lucky to get. 

Here's hoping he didn't buy his medicine at Manny & A-Rod's Pharmaceutical Emporium.

Unfair? Of course. But that's the problem with juicers, folks. Every single ballplayer is guilty by association.

8. After trying to decide between Raul Ibanez and Milton Bradley, the Cubs went with the fragile, disruptive dude with, like, half an RBI.

Right now, it seems Ibanez is the only NL player with a chance to challenge Albert Pujols for MVP honors.

Wait. Who am I kidding?

Unless the Cardinals go completely into the tank, Prince Albert's got it in the can.

9. It's the Damn Yankees and the Freakin' Red Sox. AGAIN.

Thanks for playing, Blue Jays and Rays. Enjoy the lovely parting gifts.

10. While Manny Ramirez is busy getting pregnant or whatever he's doing with his drugs of choice, the Dodgers just keep winning thanks to ... Juan Pierre?

If somebody had asked me to pick a less likely hero before the season started, I'm not sure I could have. And as my girlfriend Jessica Biel would attest, I have a very active imagination.

11. Don't pitch to Adrian Gonzalez. Ever. Period.

I mean, look at the rest of that Padres lineup!

Any manager who lets any pitcher throw a hittable strike to Gonzalez should be fired before the baseball settles into the upper deck. 

12. A pitcher who beans a batter just because he can't get said batter out is a chickenspit loser.

That's right, Vicente Padilla, I'm talkin' 'bout you!

The weak-willed Padilla is one of the many reasons I am still not buying the Rangers' pitching renaissance and am still predicting the Angels in the AL West.

13. Right now, it's a three-way race for AL MVP between Jason Bay, Mark Teixeira and Ian Kinsler.

It's still plenty early for Evan Longoria, Justin Morneau and Miguel Cabrera to do something about that, though.

Should be a fun four months, huh?