Sammy and his handlers aren't talking publicly yet, but they already are getting their excuses lined up in a row:
5. It was a mistake. I just picked the wrong drugs, the ones I use for batting practice - just to put on a show for the fans. I like to make people happy.
4. I accidentally took the spiked supplements that Miguel Tejada gave Rafael Palmeiro.
3. No comprende, senor.
2. Have you ever tried to pick up the key to New York City? It's heavy, buddy! I had to do something to get a little stronger.
1. It was A-Rod's cousin's fault!
The Bald Truth
But seriously, folks ... I don't know about you, but I am shocked.
Shocked, I tell you!
I mean, who would have looked at Sammy Sosa back in his 60-plus-homer heyday and thought, "Hey, this guy just might be ingesting more than Flintstones vitamins, his claimed performance-enhancers"?
Sammy was so svelte back then. Not at all Michelin Mannish. His head wasn't the size of a musk melon, only a cantaloupe.
And he was so even-keeled. No 'roid rage with Sammy. No paranoia. No moodiness. He was always about the team. Never about the stats. Never about the money.
He certainly wasn't the kind of guy who'd panic and react to a slump by corking a bat or anything.
Hey, just because the New York Times says Sammy's name was on the list of 104 juicers - right up the alphabet from A-Roid Rodriguez - in what was supposed to be an anonymous testing back in 2003, does that make it true?
Next thing you know, all these negative nabobs will be saying that Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds were taking steroids, too!
While giving journalistic props to the Times and to Sports Illustrated (which broke the A-Roid story earlier this year), doesn't it make you squirm just a little knowing that something supposedly done in strict confidence is being leaked to the media drip by drip?
THE BALDEST TRUTH
They are all guilty, every last one.
From the juicers themselves to the skinniest dude in cleats who never even took aspirin to the managers to the GMs to the union honchos to The Commish.
They all knew it was going on and they all looked the other way.
Nobody's clean. Nobody.
So when the time comes, do those of us with Hall of Fame votes check the box next to Sosa, Bonds, Roger Clemens and their ilk ... or do we refuse to vote for anybody who played between 1983 and 2004, even if it means we have to turn in blank ballots?