Nobody is easier to hate than A-Roid

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First Down

Alex Rodriguez says the last year has been a "nightmare." Poor, poor, pitiful him. I mean, could there be a less-sympathetic figure in sports than A-Roid?

Barry Bonds and Pete Rose look freakin' noble compared to this guy.

I'd rather root for Mike Tyson or Bill Belichick.

Why should anybody believe A-Rod didn't juice when he was a young player in Seattle? Because he says so? That's a good one! If he handed me a quarter, I'd assume it was counterfeit.

Second Down

I am seriously pissed at Time Warner Cable for denying me Showtime -- and the last few episodes of Dexter.

We'll all have the last laugh when cable companies are completely unnecessary, a time that is coming sooner than TWC and its brethren think.

Third Down

In his most recent "Real Time," Bill Maher used his main "New Rule" to rip the North Carolina GOP for its unapologetic, mean-spirited return of the state to the 1950s -- when blacks, Latinos and women knew their place (and knew it wasn't North Carolina).

And to think, I hated Chicago politics.

Fourth Down

Went into my local Costco the other day and they had a table with large, framed, autographed photos of NFL stars. The guy featured most prominently:

Tim Tebow.

In a Jets uniform.

No punchline. None necessary.
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Of Bear Weather and a bearish wait for the next Dexter

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The Bald Truth

"Bear Weather."

Is there a bigger myth in all of sport?

About once every three years or so, the Bears play a late-season game at Soldier Field against an inferior, warm-weather team ... and when that team pisses down its collective leg, all we hear about is "Bear Weather."

But how many times does what happened Sunday against the Patriots happen? How often are the Bears overwhelmed at Soldier Field in conditions supposedly made for the home squad? More often than I can count.

In this case, Tom Brady and the Patriots were coming off an emotional victory over a division rival only six days earlier. They had every reason to suffer a letdown against a Bears team that supposedly was ready to prove doubters wrong. And to top it off, it was snowy and windy and very, well, Bear Weatherish out there.

Then the game started. And pretty much ended by midway through the second quarter. Bear fans couldn't even muster the energy to boo the home team.

Hey, that the Bears aren't as good as the Patriots isn't exactly a stop-the-press declaration. Once again, the Patriots are football's best team ... and it really isn't close.

Still ...

Being humiliated on your home field in "your" weather? Well, that has to be almost too much for Lovie's lads to bear.

The Balder Truth

Here in Charlotte, CBS turned off the Patriots-Bears game in the third quarter and switched to Dolphins-Jets.

If only my friends back in Chicago could have been treated to such mercy.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

On a much sadder note ...

With Sunday night's finale, another season of Showtime's Dexter has come and gone. And now we must go months and months without TV's most complex character - portrayed brilliantly, as always, by the spectacular Michael Hall - and his incredible supporting cast.

Bummer.

Dexter truly is one of the great shows in television history, so every season is great. With sensational guest-star turns by Julia Stiles and Peter Weller and with more twists and turns than the Blue Ridge Parkway, this season was especially thrilling.

Which, of course, makes the wait for Season 6 all the more excrutiating!
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Snoozing with Clooney .... and thumbs down to Eastbound

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Just saw The American. I can't remember spending more time at a movie watching less happen.

We all know George Clooney can act. I just wish he had chosen a script that gave him the chance to do it.

For most of this tedious bore, the director even managed to make the Italian countryside look drab and unimpressive.

I want my money back. Even more, I want those 2 hours back.

And speaking of time-wasters ...

On the recommendations of some friends, I decided to give HBO's Eastbound and Down a second chance before the second season starts.

The show, about an ex-ballplayer gone bad, is supposed to be a comedy. I forced myself to re-watch the first two episodes and then to watch the next two for the first time. I am glad to say my original instincts were right - and that I will not be watching the final two episodes of Season 1. Nor will I be watching any of Season 2.

I love to laugh. I can't wait for Curb Your Enthusiasm and Dexter to return to TV. But I did precious little laughing while watching those first 4 episodes of Eastbound. Maybe one chortle and half a guffaw. Total.

I even like to laugh at stupidity as long as the stupidity is funny. Eastbound's stupidity is just stupid.

I'm a pretty darn loyal HBO watcher who will give just about any of their shows a chance. I watched all of Season 1 of Hung and was shocked to learn there would be a Season 2. (I've passed on it and have heard it's as bad as ever) Hell, I even watched John From Cincinnati in its entirety (and wasn't the least bit surprised there was no Season 2).

If you want to laugh while watching a baseball-themed show, rent Bull Durham or Naked Gun or Major League. Or just watch the Cubs.

Just skip Eastbound and Down.

Dexter is motherlovin' great TV

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Mrs. N and I just finished watching Season 1 of Dexter. Showtime and Comcast offered it for free On Demand to try to get viewers hooked, regularly scrawling ads during the episodes hoping to get people to order the network.

We won't order it, of course - our cable bills already are ridiculously high - but we will grab the next couple seasons of Dexter on DVD because it was an extremely enjoyable show. If you haven't seen it yet - and if you don't have a squeamish tummy - I highly recommend it.

For those who don't know, Dexter Morgan, brilliantly played by Michael C. Hall (formerly fantastic on HBO's Six Feet Under), is a Miami Police forensics expert ... who also happens to be a serial killer. His adoptive father was a cop, as is his adoptive sister, and there were many well-written flashback scenes.

Season 1 offered so many unique and unpredictable plot twists that Mrs. N and I couldn't stop watching ... we watched all 12 hour-long episodes in just over 2 days!

We even came out of it with a new favorite word:

Motherlovin'.

For some reason, the shows On Demand were edited to remove the f-word in all of its forms. So "Bleep you!" - a term cops (and, yes, sportswriters) tend to use often - became "Forget you!" And, "motherbleeper" became "motherlover."

Cracked me up. Violence and blood ... they couldn't possibly have shown more of that to whatever virgin eyes might have been watching. But God forbid the f-word gets heard. How typically hypocritical of the TV overlords, right?

Man, when we do get around to watching the uncensored version of Dexter on DVD, our ears are in for a real motherlovin' shock!