Thanksgiving's over, but there's always room for the Turkey of the Year countdown

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For 17 years now, I've used the Thanksgiving holiday as an occasion to lob a few grenades at each sports year’s chumps, losers, lunkheads, criminals and clods. Because I was traveling last week, this Turkey of the Year countdown is, for the first time, being presented after we’ve all consumed our turkey, stuffing and pie. I’m looking at it as a heaping helping of luscious leftovers!

Previous "winners" (and by that, I mean "losers"):

Mike McCaskey (1998); Jerry Krause (1999); Bobby Knight(2000); David Wells and Frank Thomas (2001); Dick Jauron(2002); Sammy Sosa (2003 and 2004); Andy MacPhail, Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker (2005); Aramis Ramirez (2006);Charlie Weis (2007); Choking Cubbies (2008); Milton Bradley (2009); Mark McGwire (2010); Joe Paterno and the Penn State Enablers (2011); U.S. Ryder Cup Team (2012); Alex Rodriguez (2013); Roger Goodell and Ray Rice (2014).

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that up until 2010, each of those Turkeys did their gobbling in Chicago or the Midwest. That's because I columnized for the Copley newspaper group in Chicago, where the annual countdown got its start under my predecessor and friend, the late, great Gene Seymour. Since moving to North Carolina, I've expanded my Turkey-choosing horizons. Still, as always, I dedicate this in memory of Gene.

So grab (yet another) hunk of pie and enjoy ...

12. BO RYAN ... Bo knows winning -- and whining. After masterfully coaching his Wisconsin Badgers into the NCAA title game, he couldn’t resist taking shots at Duke, Kentucky and other programs that use "rent-a-players." He forgot to mention that he went hard after Kevon Looney -- a freshman at UCLA last year whom everybody knew would be 1-and-done -- as well as two of this season’s top frosh, Marquette’s Henry Ellenson and Maryland’s Diamond Stone. So what Ryan really meant was that he didn’t like the fact that Coach K and Coach Cal were able to land the kind of 1-and-dones who apparently want nothing to do with Coach Bo. Hypocrites make wonderful turkeys!

11. TED LILLY ... The former Cubs, Dodgers, Yankees, A’s and Blue Jays pitcher took out an insurance policy on his RV and then crashed it four days later, claiming $4,600 in damage. Routine stuff, right? Yeah, except the crash actually happened five days BEFORE he took out the policy. Once nabbed, he faced three felony charges of insurance fraud. He took a plea bargain to avoid jail time and received only a small fine, community service and probation. I can see why Lilly would try to get away with a $4,600 scam, given that he only made $80 million during his 15-year career. Of course, I’ll always remember Lilly for the way he slammed down his glove – Bad News Bears style – after giving up a home run in Game 2 of the 2007 NL playoffs. 

10. BRANDON BOSTICK ... As part of Green Bay’s “hands” unit in last season’s NFC title game, he had one job: Block for Jordy Nelson so that the Packers’ No. 1 receiver could catch the football if Seattle sent an onside kick in their direction. Instead, Green Bay’s third-string tight end tried to make the catch himself. The ball went off of his hands and helmet and was recovered by the Seahawks, who promptly drove for the winning touchdown. (As bad as that was, he didn’t deserve the death threats that came his way. What the hell is wrong with people?)

9. CLEVELAND FIREWORKS GUY & JASON PIERRE-PAUL ... Fireworks are fun, right? Pity the poor sap in charge of setting off fireworks after Indians home runs; he accidentally hit the button after Kansas City’s Alex Rios went yard and was last seen burying his head in his hands. And really pity Pierre-Paul, the Giants defensive end who damn near blew off his hand on the Fourth of July. Mom was right about not playing with matches!

8. PATRICIA DRISCOLL & ANNA HANSEN ... You can be forgiven if your reaction to both names is, “Who?” Well, Driscoll is the ex-wife of auto racer Kurt Busch, who testified in court that Driscoll is a trained assassin who has been dispatched on covert missions around the globe. And Hansen is the long-time girlfriend of Lance Armstrong; she claimed to have been driving the car when a drunk Armstrong drove into two parked cars after a party and then fled the scene. Armstrong, one of the most infamous pathological liars in history, let Hansen take the fall. You can’t make up stuff like this.

7. GREG ABBOTT ... After the Astros scored three runs in the seventh inning to take a 6-2 lead in Game 4 of the ALDS, the Texas governor sent out a tweet congratulating the ‘Stros for advancing to the ALCS. Problem was, the Royals came back with five runs in the eighth. They won that game and then took Game 5 two days later to capture the series. Oops! But hey, at least this Texas governor didn’t take the national debate stage and forget which federal agencies he’d eliminate. Nor did he proclaim “Mission Accomplished” a few months into an unnecessary, unfunded, decade-long war. In other words, there’s still plenty of time to REALLY embarrass yourself, Gov. Abbott!

6. ROGER GOODELL ... It was another tough year for the NFL commissioner, our 2014 Turkey of the Year. Tom Brady got away with cheating. Greg Hardy got away with beating the crap out of his girlfriend. Goodell’s nemesis, the Patriots, won the Super Bowl and he spinelessly skipped their banner-raising celebration. Goodell also got caught lying in the aftermath of the Ray Rice fiasco. And so on and so on. Why do NFL owners put up with him? (Hell, they don’t just put up with him, they pay him tens of millions of dollars annually!) Well, because he is good at making the league money, especially TV money. So maybe it wasn’t that bad a year after all for Goodell, who can count his bounty while he ignores his critics.

  

5. PETE CARROLL ... The Seahawks coach has taken endless grief for his decision to try to win the Super Bowl by having Russell Wilson attempt a second-down pass from the 1-yard line -- a pass that was intercepted by the Patriots’ Malcolm Butler. Some have labeled it the worst play call in NFL history. Most felt Carroll should have run Marshawn Lynch up the middle. Frankly, I don’t think passing in that situation was such a bad idea, but I’d have preferred Carroll give Wilson a run-pass option to the outside, a play that would have let Wilson easily throw the ball away if nobody was open and there was no running lane. Regardless of what one thinks of Carroll’s decision, though, there’s no question it began what has turned out to be a trying 2015 for him and his team.

4. DUKE-MIAMI GAME OFFICIALS ... I don’t know why anybody should be critical of
referee Jerry Magallanes and his crew. After all, they only blew FOUR calls during the Hurricanes’ last-second, 8-lateral desperation play – a play that resulted in a ridiculous Miami touchdown that cost Duke the game. Miami finished 8-4 to Duke’s 7-5 and probably will get to play in a more lucrative bowl game, too. The sitaution was so bad that the ACC actually suspended the crew for two weeks -- and conferences HATE acknowledging officiating errors. While this boo-boo was especially amazing because the officials didn’t correctly use a replay system that was put in place to avoid just this kind of outcome, it was merely this season’s most egregious screw-up by college and pro football refs. Pass interference especially seems like just a “best guess” for these clowns. 

3.  LARRY BROWN & SMU ADMINISTRATION ... I understand the allure of Brown, who wins wherever he coaches. But he should stick to the pros, where he doesn’t have to cheat to win. Brown’s SMU hoops team was barred from the postseason and hit with other major sanctions after Brown was found guilty of academic fraud and unethical conduct. Brown, whose Hall of Fame career includes a long history of NBA success, has coached at three universities. All three – Kansas, UCLA and SMU – ended up getting punished for major violations under Brown. SMU, the only school ever to be hit with the “death penalty” for football violations a couple decades back, should have known better. But I guess Brown is just too darn irresistible.

2. CHASE UTLEY ... The dirty Dodger’s sinful slide in the NLCS ended the season of Mets SS Ruben Tejada. It was gratifying that the incident ended up fueling the passion that soon helped the Mets end the Dodgers’ season. Utley used to be a great player, but he has been declining for years -- and apparently this kind of douchebaggery is all he has left. Sorry, but those who argue it was just a guy “playing hard” are turkeys, too.

And now, for the 2015 Turkey of the Year, it's nice to return the "honor" to its Chicago roots ...

DERRICK ROSE 

After missing two-thirds of his team's games over the previous four seasons, what was the major topic the Bulls star wanted to discuss as the team opened training camp this year? His health? His excitement about getting back with his teammates? His desire to return to MVP form and lead the Bulls to the NBA title? Not quite. 

"This whole summer I had tunnel vision. My mindset was I was working out every day and spending as much time as possible with my son, making sure my family is financially stable. As far as you see all the money they're passing out in this league -- just telling the truth -- and knowing my day will be coming up soon. It's not for me. It's for P.J. and his future. So that's what I'm thinking about right now." 

It's important to note that Rose had been asked a question about an entirely different subject. Unsolicited, he brought up being a free agent -- something that's still two years away for him.

A reporter asked a follow-up question just to make sure that really was Rose’s main focus.

“Yeah … I’m preparing for it.” 

Hey Derrick, you know what really will help you make even more money than the $100 million-plus your current contract is paying you? 

How about playing most of your team’s games and, you know, actually accomplishing something in the postseason?!?!

Today's High Five: A wonderful time of the year!

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Man (and woman), do I love this time of year! So much going on in the wide world of sports - and that's a very welcome distraction with what's going on in the wide world of non-sports.

5. OLD MEN AND THE SEE-I'M-NOT-DECREPIT-YET

My old-dude softball team, the Sons of Pitches, is 4-0 in the fall league after beating the other previously unbeaten team last night.

We not only won, we won by slaughter rule ... and we won with style, baby!

In the top of the second inning, we turned a TRIPLE PLAY. Yep, a triple-freakin-play! Runners on first and second; the batter hits a sinking line drive to right-center; the runners take off, certain they will be scoring on the play; our RCF Wayne makes a running catch; Wayne throws to SS Tom for Out No. 2; Tom fires to 1B Bob for Out No. 3. Yowsa!

We then come up in bottom of the inning and celebrate by scoring the maximum 5 runs, with Pat - our coach, pitcher and Penguin-run-alike - hitting a three-run homer. Way to go, Ron Cey! (Or is it more like Burgess Meredith?)

We have such a fun group of guys it will be sad when the season ends - and our two-year run as a team ends with it. There will be a new draft next spring and our guys will be cast about the league.

But we still have a lot of fun to go this season. It really isn't even fall yet, we're undefeated, and we have a championship to win!

4. CHICAGO'S HOPELESS

The Cubs are in last place, 16 games out. The White Sox are in next-to-last place, 15 1/2 games out. And the Bears found a way to lose their season opener at home to the Bills.

All of which can only mean one thing:

It's September in Chicago!

Fans from my former hometown at least can celebrate that Derrick Rose, who is playing for the U.S. National Team, is experiencing no knee problems.

Yet.

Meanwhile, my Panthers kicked butt and took prisoners in their opener at Tampa Bay, even without the injured Cam Newton.

The Panthers aren't a great team, but I think they're pretty darn good. I don't like talking much about Fantasy Football because people who play it never shut up when they start talking, but if Kelvin Benjamin happens to still be available in your league, you'd be wise to snag him. He's well on his way to being a stud.

3.  PAIN ... AND NOT MUCH GAIN

The last Little League game I umpired, on Sunday, I took a foul ball to my right shoulder. The pain was so intense that I thought the ball must have somehow gotten under or over my chest protector's shoulder-pad attachment. But it hadn't. The ball just was hit hard and caught me in the "perfect" spot.

The next inning, I was hit by a pitch when the left-handed catcher didn't quite reach across his body enough to catch a ball that was barely out of the strike zone. The ball hit me just below the middle knuckle on my left index finger, an area that is now a lovely shade of purple.

And the next inning, a kid fouled one back off my right shoulder - again. The ball got me within an inch of the previous injury, and I was seeing stars for a few seconds. Ever the trooper, I shook it off and continued. That's why I get the big bucks.

I guess all that punishment was payback for joking around after I had taken a relatively innocuous shot off my shin guard in the first inning. A coach asked if I was OK, and I responded:

"I'm fine. My wife hits me harder than that!"

2. AND SPEAKING OF RAY RICE ...

Why is being fired by the Ravens and suspended the NFL an appropriate punishment for treating a woman like a punching bag?

Why isn't this guy in jail?

OK, I know why he isn't in jail. He is rich enough to afford a good lawyer. That being said, Rice clearly is a bad human being, he can't control his temper, he is super strong, and he almost surely is armed. You can't convince me he is not a threat to society.

Those who know me well know that I'm a softy - and a big believer in second chances. But this criminal should have to sit in a small cell for at least a few months before he gets his second chance.

1. VALUE = VICTORY

The NFL season is underway. So is the college football season, and now that there's an actual playoff system waiting at the end, I might even watch a few games. Tennis just played its U.S. Open and golf's Ryder Cup is just around the corner. Soon enough, NHL teams will report to training camp, NBA teams will do likewise and college basketball teams will hold their Midnight Madness sessions. And in soccer "friendlies" all around the world, guys with one name are pretending they were shot in an attempt to draw penalties against opponents who didn't touch them.

Things are so sportarific in September, and baseball is the sportarificest of all.

One of the things I miss most about Chicago is that I no longer live in a town with big-league baseball (or whatever it is that the Cubs and White Sox claim to play). With the Internet, ESPN and the MLB Network, I can keep up with the game pretty well, but it isn't quite the same as having not just one but two teams right in the city.

I have been enjoying the division and wild-card races, but mostly I have been thinking about the MVP awards in each league.

In the AL, the best offensive player has been White Sox rookie Jose Abreu, who came from Cuba and started hitting the second he set foot in Comiskular Park. But you know what? If I had a ballot this season, he wouldn't even be one of the first five guys I'd vote for. He might not even be in my top 10.

For me, an MVP candidate has to be on a team that at least contends for a postseason berth. He has to have come through in games that have meaning - either early- and mid-season games that have helped his team to a big division lead, or late-season games that have given his team a chance at the playoffs.

How can Abreu be the Most Valuable Player in his league if his team hasn't played a game "of value" since May? Yes, he has value to the White Sox. Yes, he deserves Rookie of the Year in a runaway. MVP of the entire league? Please.

Mike Trout seemed a lock for the award at midseason but he slumped pretty badly in August. Still, he leads the league in RBIs, he has helped his Angels roll past the once-dominant A's while compiling the league's best record, and he is dynamic both in the field and on the bases. He's still the choice over Detroit's Miguel Cabrera and Baltimore's Nelson Cruz.

Things are even more interesting in the NL, where the absence of a hitting superstar on any winning team has put a pitcher atop the MVP heap.

And what a pitcher. Clayton Kershaw has had several outstanding years, and he's now having one for the ages: 18-3 with a 1.67 ERA. He is in Koufax/Gibson territory, and he is the main reason the Dodgers overcame a slow start - Kershaw missed April and it took him most of May to shake off the rust - to surge past the Giants in the NL West.

Valid arguments can be made that a pitcher who makes 30 starts shouldn't win an MVP award ahead of everyday ballplayers, but Kershaw has been so dominant and has so obviously lifted the Dodgers, that he is an example of why it should be rare but possible.

For stat-heads who like advanced metrics, Kershaw leads all MLB players in Wins Above Replacement, and the guy in second (somewhat surprisingly, Oakland's Josh Donaldson) isn't very close behind.

The Marlins don't even have a .500 record and they are only on the fringes of the wild-card race, but if they can make a legitimate push over the last couple of weeks, Giancarlo "Don't Call Me Mike" Stanton could make it a two-man MVP race. Stanton leads the league in HR and RBI and he's a great all-around player. He's put up his numbers not in a Rockies-style thin-air-aided bandbox but in Miami's spacious, pitcher-friendly ballpark. Very impressive.

Stanton's best chance is if the Marlins make a big move in the next two weeks and if Kershaw loses some votes to teammate Adrian Gonzalez, who has been hot of late and is right behind Stanton in the RBI race. I suppose Pittsburgh's Andrew McCutchen could go wild down the stretch and steal the award, but I don't see it happening.

Right now, Kershaw is a pretty easy choice for MVP, Cy Young and, hell, let's make him governor of California, too. Jerry Brown can't have more than another decade or three in office, right?
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Today's High Five: Harper's face-plant, Arnie's return, NBA doings, softball drama

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5. Hey Bryce, they call it a "warning track" for a reason!

I can't get enough of the video of young Nationals stud Bryce Harper running face-first into the right-field scoreboard at Dodger Stadium. After the play, he looked like he had encountered the Texas Chainsaw Massacre man.

Still, Harper vows to "play like that the rest of my career."

That's admirable ... but if he doesn't start paying attention to the warning track, the rest of his career might be about an hour long.

4. Iced tea/lemonade pitchman Arnie Palmer and his grandson Sam Saunders are going to be playing partners Saturday in the pro-am of a Web.com tour event in South Carolina.

That's pretty cool. Palmer is 83 years old.

What's not cool: Arnie would still beat me by about a dozen strokes. Maybe two dozen on one of my bad days.

3. Even great athletes run out of gas eventually.

The Bulls have nothing left in their tanks. Nothing. They have competed valiantly against the Heat, but without Derrick Rose, Luol Deng and Kirk Hinrich, they are thinner than Calista Flockhart on an all-celery diet.

Jimmy Butler, my guy from Marquette, has played so many minutes in these playoffs that it's easy to forget that, going into this season, the Bulls weren't counting on him to be more than a mop-up player. He has played all 48 minutes in four of the last six games (and played 46 minutes in one of the others).

Nate Robinson, the gnat-sized ballhog who was signed to be the third-string point guard, is averaging 37 minutes a game.

The Bulls are so desperate that there was even a Rip Hamilton sighting in the last game. It was nice of him to show up in uniform on his 62nd birthday.

Too bad. As great as Miami is, a hard-working, well-coached Bulls team that included Rose, Deng and Hinrich would have had a real chance to win the series.

2. Speaking of ex-Marquetters ... whither Steve Novak?

The Knicks, who have shot atrociously all series in falling behind the Pacers 3-1, were 36% overall and 29% from 3-point range in Tuesday's loss.

Novak is one of the best pure shooters in basketball history and was the recipient of a huge contract from the Knicks last offseason.

Tuesday, he played one minute. He took one 3-pointer. He swished it. He sat back down.

Whatever.

1. Here come the Sons of Pitches!

After losing four of our first five games, with each defeat due to a late-game meltdown, my old-dude softball team has used late-game heroics to win two straight.

Tuesday night, we scored three in the last inning to take a lead and held on for a 12-10 victory.

Playing second base, I tried my darnedest to give the game away in the bottom of the last. For one thing, I failed to cover second base on a comebacker to our pitcher/coach Pat, so we recorded no outs on what probably should have been a game-ending double play. Our great shortstop, Tom, had been spectacular all night and I thought he was going to take the throw, but he was playing deep and in the hole; even though we uncharacteristically didn't communicate on the play, it was totally my screw-up. Also in the inning, I stumbled around like a drunken congressman chasing a pop-up slightly over the infield dirt. I somehow ended up with my back to the infield and the ball hit me on the shoulder.

Thankfully, my teammates picked me up big-time, as Pat snared a line drive and doubled off a runner on a fine, instinctive play by our first baseman Bob. Amazingly, it was our fifth double play of the game -- in slow-pitch softball, a team can go weeks without turning a single one -- and a stunning end to a satisfying victory.

With only two regular-season games left and the playoffs just around the corner, we're finding our stride at just the right time. There isn't a team in the league with fewer than two losses; nor is there a team with fewer than two wins. Pete Rozelle would love this parity.

It really will be a wide-open race for the championship and I can honestly say I haven't seen any team the Sons of Pitches can't beat ... especially if our second baseman remembers to remove his bald head from his rectum when the ump shouts "Play ball!"
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Bulls hammer Heat; also, rockin' with Roger Clyne

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Call 'em the Thug-A-Bulls.

That's not a criticism at all. If I were coach Tom Thibodeau -- and with my rugged chubbiness and bulging bank account, we are often mistaken for each other -- I would do the exact same thing against the Heat.

Playing without Derrick Rose, Luol Deng and Kirk Hinrich (and, for all intents and purposes, without Carlos Boozer, who appears ready to do his annual postseason disappearing act), the Bulls pushed and shoved and hammered and stomped and hip-checked and elbowed their way to victory in Game 1.

It's not cheating. It's not even dirty. There are three refs on the floor, and it is their job to make the calls. It's the job of Thibodeau and his players to win the game.

The Bulls also outhustled their more-heralded opponents. And down the stretch, the Bulls -- not the Jordan/Pippen/Grant Bulls, mind you, but the Robinson/Belinelli/Gibson Bulls -- made all the clutch plays.

Playing all 48 minutes for the third straight playoff game, my Marquette homie, Jimmy Butler, had 21 points and 14 rebounds and, more importantly, made LeBron James work hard for every inch of space on the court. Sometimes that involved Butler fouling LeBron. Hard. That's why the MVP gets the big bucks.

Yes, the Bulls did more than beat the Heat -- and even did more than beat up the Heat. They flustered and demoralized LeBron, Dwyane Wade & Co., got them to do things they normally don't.

A few examples:

-- After taking a 76-69 lead that seemingly put the Heat in command with 6:22 left, the next two minutes go like this: Norris Cole fouls Nate Robinson, who makes both FTs ... 24-second violation on Heat ... Wade fouls Butler, who makes both FTs ... Ray Allen badly misses 3-pointer ... Marco Belinelli makes 3-pointer ...  Mario Chalmers misses 1 of 2 FTs for Miami ... Taj Gibson makes jumper to put Chicago ahead. Neither James nor Wade even attempt a shot during this stretch.

-- With 2:21 left, James hits a FT to give Heat an 86-83 lead. Miami doesn't score again. LeBron misses his second FT ... Joakim Noah rebounds Chicago miss, leading to Belinelli's tying 3-pointer ... Chris Bosh misses jumper ... Robinson scores to put Bulls ahead to stay.

-- With Miami down 2 and the clock ticking close to the minute mark, a defensive switch leaves Belinelli on James, who immediately goes to the post for a pass that never comes. Instead, Wade, a career 29% shooter from 3-point range, launches a brick from way outside. Noah grabs the rebound, Robinson scores again and Miami players look like they've lost their best friends. Fans start heading for the exit even though their team is only down 4 and plenty of time remains.

-- James then misses a short jumper from the baseline with 29 seconds left and doesn't bother going back on defense. Again, the Heat is only down 4. Instead of trying to do something -- anything! -- to get his team back in the game, the MVP is sulking. It's one of several times either he or Wade react that way, usually because they're whining about fouls not being called.

I love watching LeBron do his thing and believe he is the best player in the world since Jordan's heyday. But Michael never would have reacted the way LeBron repeatedly did. And I've always liked Wade, another fellow Marquetter, but these days he spends almost as much time complaining as he does playing.

So there you have it ... the best player on the planet and another in the top 10 let the battered, beleaguered Bulls get into their heads and steal home-court advantage.

I still think the Heat will win the series, but only if they stop feeling sorry for themselves and stop thinking the NBA owes them another title.

I'm sure they spent the better part of a week hoping and praying that the Nets would beat the Bulls because the Heat wanted no part of this scrappy, hard-working, physical team.

Sorry, BronBron, you've got the Bulls. Deal with it.

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Robbie and I had our most fun weekend of the spring.

We took in two concerts by Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers -- one in suburban Washington, the other in Philly; yeah, I guess that officially makes us freakin' groupies!

The scene in Falls Church, Va. If you click on the photo to expand it and look very, very carefully, you can see me and Robbie in the very center of the picture, about three rows back.

Robbie, Roger & Me after Philly show

In Philadelphia, we introduced my brother Al and his girlfriend Sandy to our favorite band, and like all others we've indoctrinated, they had a blast. We also played bad golf, ate good food, drank a few Yuenglings (America's oldest brewery, by the way), and enjoyed the company of another brother, Lee.

Grub, grog, great tunes and family. As Roger sings (with gusto):

HERE'S TO LIFE!

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The Bulls: LeBron & Company's worst nightmare

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The last team the Miami Heat want to see in the second round of the playoffs:

The Chicago Bulls.

LeBron James, the best basketball player on the planet since Michael Jordan was in his prime, is as good as any two Bulls not named Derrick Rose. Maybe any three. Throw in Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and a nice supporting cast that includes Ray Allen and Shane Battier, and the series shouldn't even be close.

But if the Bulls get past the Nets - and it certainly seems they will after Saturday's incredible triple-OT win - they will battle the Heat to their last breaths. The Bulls will not concede. They will grab and fight and claw and frustrate and demand that you hustle as much as they do or else.

The Heat would roll over the Nets. Is it possible to win a best-of-7 series in 2? That's how lopsided that series would be. But the Bulls?

Even if the Heat were to find a way to sweep the Bulls (and I sincerely doubt they would), LeBron & Co. will have known they were in a basketball war.

It will be the kind of basketball war that could make the Heat more beatable later in the playoffs.

The Heat needs the Bulls like I need a bigger nose.
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Today's High 5: From Derrick Rose to Kerry Wood

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5. Here was my knee-jerk reaction to those who hypothesized that Tom Thibodeau was responsible for Derrick Rose's injury -- and therefore the Bulls' early playoff exit -- because Rose was still playing in the playoff opener with 82 seconds left and the Bulls up by 12: Those jerky hypothesizers should be kneed in the groin.

But what if I was wrong? What if every intelligent coach, guys with much more experience and a longer history of success than Thibodeau, would have had Rose out of there?

Well, three weeks later, the evidence is in. And I wasn't wrong at all.

Game after game, coach after coach has left his stars deep in lopsided games to make sure his team didn't blow a big lead. Doc Rivers has done so with the Celtics, Eric Spoelstra has done so with the Heat and, most notably, Gregg Popovich has done so with the Spurs.

In Game 1 vs. the Clippers, Popovich still had Tim Duncan and Tony Parker in the game with 61 seconds to go and the Spurs leading by 15. He had subbed for Manu Ginobili with a 15-point lead and 2:33 remaining -- the same time Clippers coach Vinny Del Negro removed his stars, Chris Paul and Blake Griffin.

That's right: Duncan and Parker didn't come out until a minute and a half after Del Negro conceded.

In game 2, Popovich didn't take out Duncan and Parker until the Spurs led by 17 with 2:02 left -- and, again, only after Del Negro had removed Paul and Griffin.

I guess Popovich is pretty stupid. He's only going for his fifth NBA title.

Look, most coaches are neurotic. They think a 20-point lead with 20 seconds to go isn't enough. They don't want to be remembered as the guy who subbed too early and then suffered a blown lead of historic proportions.

Most coaches embrace this philosophy: If the game is "over," let the other coach concede by taking out his players first; then I'll take out mine.

Thibodeau did exactly what Popovich, Spoelstra, Rivers and probably each of the other 26 NBA coaches would have done: He played to win the game.

4. NBA honchos and network executives might have wanted an all-glitz, all-L.A. Western Conference final, but Spurs-Thunder will be much more entertaining ... and much more representative of the conference's best.

3. After LeBron James missed a late free throw, Lance Stephenson flashed the choke sign. Which leads to one question:

Who in the name of garbage time is Lance Effin Stephenson?

James had two perfect answers when asked about Stephenson, a little-used Pacers reserve.

First came the verbal retort: "Lance Stephenson? You want a quote about Lance Stephenson? I'm not even gonna give him the time."

Then came the physical one: James had 40 points, 18 rebounds and 9 assists as the Heat reclaimed homecourt advantage by beating the Pacers.

Stephenson's contribution? DNP-CD. That's the box score abbreviation for Did Not Play - Coach's Decision.

Garbage-time scrubs shouldn't be allowed to talk, let alone make throat-slash gestures that awaken a sleeping giant.

2. Is it me or does Brian McNamee seem even less believable than Roger Clemens? And that's no easy feat!

1. I have nothing but fond memories of the years I spent covering Kerry Wood.

He always was fair to me. He answered every question I ever asked him, even those he didn't like. And he always gave every ounce of energy and passion when he played -- a fact that no doubt contributed to the many, many injuries he suffered and, finally, to his retiring Friday at the still-young age of 34.

I didn't cover his 20-strikeout game. I was running errands that day and didn't even hear about it until I was on my way to the Bulls playoff game that night. It would have been cool to have been there, but I did get to witness many other incredible performances by him.

One example: His pitching against the Braves absolutely carried the Cubs into the 2003 NLCS. As often was the case with snakebitten Wood, however, his highs were followed by lows.

The night after the famous Bartman game, the Cubs still had a chance to win their first pennant in 58 years with Wood on the mound for Game 7. I never heard Wrigley Field louder than it was when his two-run homer in the second inning tied the game. An inning later, a shot by Moises Alou gave Wood a two-run lead. He holds that lead, and Steve Bartman is but an amusing footnote, not one of the biggest villains in Cubbie lore.

But Wood was spent and couldn't hold on, allowing 7 runs as the Cubs completed their epic collapse.

Afterward, a teary-eyed Wood said: "I let my teammates down, I let the organization down and I let the city of Chicago down. I choked."

That's right: An athlete didn't try to make excuses, didn't point fingers at teammates and accepted considerably more responsibility than he had to. Honesty and accountability ... crazy concepts.

It's hard to believe that someone as talented and as hyped as Kerry Wood had only 86 career victories and never had a single 15-win season.

It shows how much luck and health mean to athletes.

I'll always look back on Wood -- and his fellow star-crossed Cubbie, Mark Prior -- as cautionary tales. As in: Stephen Strasburg is gonna be great? Maybe. But don't forget that Wood and Prior were gonna be great, too. Let's just see what happens before we anoint somebody ... "

Through all the injuries and adversity, Wood was a fighter, a stand-up guy and an amazingly hard worker. He is one of the good guys. Cubbieland, and all of baseball, is poorer without him.
^

No Rose: A fact ... and a lame excuse

^
Long-time readers -- all 9 of you -- know that I abhor injury-related excuses. Shaddup, line up and play; that's why you get the big bucks. 

Having said that, I do make exceptions because there are excuses ... and then there are facts. When a team loses a Tom Brady, a Justin Morneau or, yes, a Derrick Rose, it is a fact that the team simply cannot function anywhere near as well as it did when it had its MVP-caliber superstar.

The moment I learned Rose blew out his knee, I knew the Bulls no longer could win the NBA title.

What I didn't know was that Rose's teammates were going to fail to come out of the locker room at halftime of Tuesday's playoff game. The Bulls somehow managed to get outscored 36-14 in the third quarter by a mediocre 76ers team, and they went on to get humiliated at home.

Where was Luol Deng, an All-Star? Where was Carlos Boozer, the big-money forward? Where was Rip Hamilton, the supposed final piece to the puzzle? I'm not going to blame C.J. Watson and John Lucas III -- Rose's point-guard replacements; there's a reason they are career backups. I'm blaming Deng, Boozer and Hamilton for not showing up. And I'm blaming Tom Thibodeau for not having his team ready to play.

Yes, losing Rose was a horrible break for a team seemingly poised to win it all. Still, on the same night Deng & Co. spit the bit against the Sixers, the Celtics managed to win despite playing without suspended point guard Rajon Rondo (a top-five MVP candidate this season) and injured 2-guard Ray Allen (one of the great shooters in basketball history). Playing at Atlanta against a Hawks team that is decidedly better than Philly, the Celtics prevailed because Paul Pierce put his team on his back and carried it to victory.

Pierce, apparently, didn't get the memo about choking because the star point guard wasn't playing.

The Celtics could have used the absence of Rondo and Allen as an excuse. Had they lost, nobody would have been surprised. Instead, Pierce played wonderfully and got lots of support from his teammates. Instead, they won.

Unlike the Bulls.
^

Dopey discourse about Rose and Thibodeau

^
Plenty of folks actually think Tom Thibodeau is to blame for Derrick Rose's torn ACL. Apparently, a coach is supposed to take out all of his best players with a 12-point lead and 1:20 to go in a playoff game.

If so, Erik Spoelstra must really be an idiot. The Heat led the Knicks by 12 with about a minute to go tonight, and LeBron, D-Wade and Bosh were still playing. It's a miracle all three weren't hurt by a falling scoreboard or three banana peels on the court.

Stupid Spoelstra. Coaching to win. Coaching to make sure his team wasn't victimized by a remarkable comeback, kind of like when Reggie Miller scored 8 points in 9 seconds against the Knicks back in '95 ... or, hey, like when the Clippers came back from a 27-point fourth-quarter deficit just 24 hours ago.

Dopey Spoelstra. Dopey Thibideau. Even though there isn't a coach in the entire NBA -- and probably not in major-college basketball, either -- who feels safe with a 12-point lead with 80 seconds to go, they should have had all of their scrubs playing.

Fools. It's a wonder they even have coaching jobs.
^

A damn shame: Rose finished, and so are Bulls

^

Derrick Rose planted his left foot and "heard something pop."That something was the Bulls' title chances.

I'm neither a Bulls fan nor a Bulls hater, but I hate this. I hate that Rose's season had to end this way. And I hate that a Bulls team that was good enough to win it all now has little hope to do so.

Like life itself, sports ain't fair.

Ask the Carolina Tar Heels, who lost their point guard just as they were starting to look like a championship team. Ask Peyton Manning's Colts, who learned this past season about the fragile line between being a title contender and a laughingstock. Ask any team that thought it had a legitimate chance at a special season only to see it blown apart by an injury to a star player.

And Rose wasn't just another star. In a league of great point guards, he was the best last season. Hell, he was the best player at any position, easily winning the MVP. This season, the Bulls built a team around him that was ready to go for the gold. Even though he had to miss a couple dozen games nursing a variety of injuries, I thought the Bulls would be OK because, unlike many players during this compressed season, he would be relatively fresh for the playoffs.

With 23 points, 9 rebounds and 9 assists, Rose looked plenty fresh (albeit a little rusty) in Saturday's dismantling of the 76ers. But with less than a minute and a half to go, his knee gave out. Torn ACL. Season over.

The Bulls did amazingly well when playing without Rose this season, but let's be real. There's a reason C.J. Watson and John Lucas III have been backups their entire careers. 

After beating the Sixers, the Bulls will have a difficult time in the next round against either the Celtics or Hawks. And if they somehow survive that series, their luck surely will run out against the Heat in the Eastern finals.

And that's a damn shame.

With Derrick Rose, the Bulls were good enough to send LeBron and D-Wade packing.

Without him, they're just another team destined to end its season with a question that starts with the words "What" and "if."

^

Hey Derrick Rose: Even MJ knew he didn't ALWAYS have to be The Man

^
The Bald Truth

Love Derrick Rose's game. Love it! As he matures, however, he has to realize that he need not always take the final shot -- even though he's by far the best player on the Bulls.

Late in regulation time Tuesday, the Bulls had two chances to beat the Heat on the road and even the series. Both times, Rose tried to take jump shots over LeBron James, who is at least a half-foot taller and can jump just as high. Predictably, both shots missed.

On both occasions, Rose had open teammates. Luol Deng, who has hit numerous big shots, would have been an obvious alternative.

(Overall, I've been impressed by Tom Thibodeau's coaching -- and, in fact, lobbied three years ago for the Bulls to hire him instead of Vapid Vinny Del Negro. Still, it's hard to say Thibodeau wasn't out-coached by Eric Spoelstra with the whole LeBron-on-DRose situation.)

Doesn't the superstar always take the big shot? Didn't Rose's hero, Michael Jordan?

Most of the time, yes. But not always.

John Paxson hit the championship-winning 3-pointer in 1993, with Jordan later saying: "Once Paxson got the ball, I knew it was over."

In 1997, it was Steve Kerr who took a pass from Jordan and won the title with a 15-footer. In the time-out before the play, MJ went out of his way to tell Kerr to be ready if John Stockton left Kerr to double-team Jordan. Stockton indeed left Kerr, and both Jordan and Kerr were prepared to make history.

Even Jordan's famed 55-point "Double Nickel" Spectacular at Madison Square Garden in '95 ended with Jordan feeding Bill Wennington for the winning basket.

So yes, Rose should be prepared to carry his team. That's what MVPs do. Sometimes, though, the shot simply isn't there. And on those occasions, the MVP has to be smart and brave enough to trust his teammates.

That's what they're there for.

The End Is Near

I will be very sad when the Bulls-Heat series ends, and it has nothing to do with the Bulls' precarious predicament.

The end of the series means the end of TNT's broadcasts. And that means no more Marv Albert until next season (if there even is a next season for the NBA).

The guy is such a pleasure to listen to, it makes me want to wear a toupee and bite some broad's back.

The Balder Truth

Good thing for the Bulls that Bennett Salvatore wasn't officiating Game 6 of the '98 NBA Finals.

In the closing seconds of regulation Tuesday, he ignored the unwritten NBA commandment "Thou Shalt Not Call Fouls On Superstars With The Game On The Line" and had the cajones to make a great offensive foul call on LeBron -- who had used his free arm to shove Ronnie Brewer.

It's fun to wonder if Salvatore would have made a similarly bold call against Jordan, who clearly shoved Utah's Bryon Russell out of the way before hitting the famed jumper that won the title in MJ's final game as a Bull.

Just Asking

In three years under Coach K, how is it possible that Carlos Boozer didn't learn to play even a little defense?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

How hard up must ESPN be for NBA analysts if they are turning to Vapid Vinny for insight into the Bulls-Heat series?

As usual, Del Negro offered nothing of substance and repeatedly used cliches. He even disagreed with TNT's outstanding analyst pair -- Kerr and Reggie Miller -- by saying it was Rose's responsibility to attempt those difficult jumpers over LeBron.

Yep, Vapid Vinny truly sounded like a guy who deserves to coach the Clippers.

Chilly reception for Heat in Chi-town

^
Dwyane looked a step slow and LeBron looked distracted. Having said that, the Bulls were so freakin' impressive in Game 1, it would be an injustice to say they won only because Wade and James were off.

The Bulls completely out-hustled, out-shot, out-defended and out-coached the Heat. They won by 21 points, and the game wasn't really that close.

For all of their high-priced individual talent, if the Heat can't keep Joakim Noah and the rest of the Bulls from dominating the offensive boards, they can't win the series. Period.
^

Yes, but bin Laden was a terrific dancer

^
The Bald Truth

Steelers lunkhead Rashard Mendenhall cannot believe all those not related to Osama bin Laden are so overjoyed about the cowardly murderer's demise.

"What kind of person celebrates death?" Mendenhall twatted. "It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side … "

Yes, and I wish Hitler had lived on to thrill us for years with his good side. You know, some historians say Der Fuhrer was a wonderful painter. In fact, he could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon ... two coats!

The Balder Truth

You know things are going bad for the White Sox when they get no-hit by a pitcher with an ERA of almost 10. Nelson Liriano's imperfect (6 walks) game Tuesday kind of reminded me of the first no-hitter I ever covered, also by a Twin: Scott Erickson.

Erickson, who walked four Brewers in the 1994 game, had allowed more hits the previous two seasons than any other pitcher in the majors. That's right: The Brewers couldn't scratch out a single hit against baseball's most hittable pitcher.

But at least Erickson didn't have an ERA hovering near four digits at the time.

By the way, the Brewers finished that lockout-shortened '94 season in last place. Which is where the White Sox currently reside - already 10 games behind surprise division leader Cleveland.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

I'm supposed to be impressed that NBA MVP Derrick Rose isn't even 23 yet?

My son Ben just turned 23 a few months ago, and he can sink two straight free throws without getting winded. Three on a good day!
^

At least Vinny kept Thibodeau's Bulls seat warm

^
Bulls 106, Clippers 88. Or, to put it in different (but equally accurate) terms:

The Coach The Bulls Should Have Hired Three Years Ago 106, The Coach The Bulls Never Should Have Settled For Three Years Ago 88.

Three questions:

Did the Bulls really have to endure two years of mediocrity under Vinny Del Negro to get to Tom Thibodeau -- the then-Celtics assistant I urged them to hire back in 2008?

Given that the Bulls are 34-14 despite playing huge chunks of the season without Joakim Noah and Carlos Boozer, shouldn't Thibodeau be the frontrunner for coach of the year?

A year or two from now, when the Clippers realize they have too much young talent to be laboring under Vinny Del Excuse, who will be their next coach?
^

Bullish on Jax, less so on Pax

^

Let's take a look at the Dynastic Bull Scorecard, shall we?

10 - Phil Jackson, already with 10 NBA titles as a coach and 2 as a player, is closing in on the baker's dozen.

9 - Steve Kerr's Suns finally beat those dastardly Spurs and advanced to the Western Conference finals.

8 - B.J. Armstrong became an agent and quickly landed Derrick Rose as a client. Last month, B.J. sold his Highland Park mansion to new Bears savior Julius Peppers. Ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching!

7 - Scottie Pippen soon will be enshrined in the Hall of Fame.

6 - Bill Cartwright, cast aside by "buddy" John Paxson 7 years ago, is an assistant coach for the high-flying Suns.

5 - Michael Jordan's Bobcats scrapped their way into the playoffs but promptly got swept out.

4 - Luc Longley is a rich, happy, 7-foot surfer dude in Australia, mate.

3 - Bill Wennington is the only coherent member of the ex-Bulls big men announcer troika that also includes Stacey King and Dickey Simpkins.

2 - Dennis Rodman occasionally still finds some dupe to give him money just for being That Wacky Old Worm. When he's not being hauled off to jail for copping a feel at some Vegas bar, that is.

1 - Jerry Krause has been hired as an international scout by the White Sox and, sources say, is closing in on Dominican baseball's Dragan Tarlac.

0 - John Paxson turned the Bulls into laughingstocks, went into hiding and then crawled out from under his rock just long enough to make a martyr out of Vinny Del Negro.

Blame aplenty for Memphis Mess

^

OK, kids, it's time for this week's edition of THE BLAME GAME!

Who is most to blame for the Memphis mess, which has led to the university's 2007-08 basketball team being stripped of its NCAA-record 38 victories?

--John Calipari, then-Memphis coach.

--High-ranking university officials.

--Derrick Rose, then-star point guard.

--Rose's family.

--The NCAA.

--David Stern, NBA commissioner.

Here is the supporting evidence regarding each candidate ...

JOHN CALIPARI

He wasn't named in the NCAA report but he's a control freak who had to know what was going on. He certainly knew Rose's brother had accompanied the team on charter flights against NCAA rules and he likely knew Rose had used a substitute to take the SAT. This is the second time one of Calipari's Final Four teams (UMass '96 being the other) has had an entire season's worth of wins vacated because of major infractions. Although Calipari wasn't formally accused in the UMass case, either, this is one heck of a coincidence, no? Congratulations, Kentucky, you've hired the best kind of cheater - one who gets away with it.

MEMPHIS OFFICIALS

They hired Calipari even though he had a suspicious past and they provided little oversight to prevent scandal in his program. Then, after the decision was announced Thursday, they expressed their outrage and said they'd appeal. They really don't care about the lost victories, they care about the lost money; they now have to return the dough they got for the team's march to the Final Four. Hey, there's a reason "lack of institutional control" is cited in almost every one of these cases. It is the institution's responsibility to oversee its athletic program. Period.

DERRICK ROSE

He knew he was cheating and he did it anyway. His only defense is that he didn't really want to go to college but the system "forced" him to do so because the NBA no longer allowed high-schoolers to turn pro. Sorry, but that's no better than the defense Rose played for the Bulls in April, when Rajon Rondo burned him repeatedly. Say what you want about the kids who opt to go overseas instead of to college; at least they and their families play by the rules.

ROSE'S FAMILY

Derrick's other excuse: He was a kid. The adults around him should have known better. Of course, they probably truly believed that the right thing was having Derrick get into school by any means possible. The NBA wasn't an option and given that he failed the ACT three times, hiring an SAT stand-in must have seemed the only choice. Heck of a life lesson for young Derrick: Honesty is the best policy ... unless cheating works better.

THE NCAA

Where was the oversight to prevent Rose from using a substitute test-taker? It makes you wonder how many times this has happened over the years. Methinks plenty. The others simply haven't been caught.

DAVID STERN

Selfishly, most of us like the NBA rule that denies the future Kobes, KGs and LeBrons the opportunity to go from preps to pros. We like that our favorite NBA teams don't have to take chances on 18-year-olds and we like our college teams to get these studs. But really, how can a rule that makes universities act like minor-league teams be good? How can a rule that turns teenagers into unpaid (or at least low-paid) mercenaries be prudent? Why should a young man who clearly is good enough to make a living in his chosen profession - and one whose family might desperately need the money - be forced to wait (or to leave the country)? It would have been like telling Chris Evert or Mozart or, yes, LeBron: "Sorry, kid ... no pro for you!"

OK, given all the evidence, have you ranked your culprits? I have, and here's how I'm dividing the blame:

NCAA ... 5 percent.

STERN ... 10 percent.

MEMPHIS ... 15 percent.

CALIPARI ... 20 percent.

ROSE'S FAMILY ... 20 percent.

ROSE ... 30 percent.

I'm a big believer in personal responsibility and in each of us being held accountable for our actions.

Though Rose's family (and probably his coach) let him cheat (and probably encouraged it), it ultimately was Derrick's call. He was old enough to know right from wrong. He chose wrong, and he brought his school shame because of it.

I like to think that Rose's free-throw-line choke job, which helped deliver the '08 title to Kansas, was the karmic result.

Best of Pax, worst of Pax

^
The List I

John Paxson's Greatest Hits as Bulls GM, the job he has handed over to former assistant Gar Forman:

5. Getting the Knicks to take Eddy Curry - headband, saggy shorts, lack of work ethic and all.

4. Acquiring Brad Miller and John Salmons before the 2009 trading deadline. The Bulls wouldn't have made the playoffs without those two solid professionals. Hell, they might not have made it to March.

3. Hiring Scott Skiles as coach. You knew the players eventually would tune him out, but Skiles was the exact kind of demanding taskmaster a lazy, underachieving group of knuckleheads needed.

2. Crossing his fingers and toes, knocking on wood, rubbing his rabbit's foot, not stepping on cracks and whatever else he did to land Derrick Rose in the 2008 draft lottery.

1. Cleaning up the mess left behind by Jerry Krause. Most notably, convincing Jerry Reinsdorf to eat Eddie Robinson's eight-figure contract. This is the sports equivalent to brokering peace in the Middle East.

The List II

Pax's Greatest Misses:

5. Dumping J.R. Smith about 10 seconds after acquiring him in the trade that sent Tyson Chandler to New Orleans. Smith has gone on to be an outstanding player for a Nuggets team that has gone farther in the playoffs than the post-Jordan Bulls ever have. But hey, at least Pax got the great Howard Eisley in return.

4. Signing Ben Wallace, allegely the final piece of their championship puzzle. I'm proud that I was one of the few Chicago media types who didn't swoon the day the deal was made. (At the time, I heard much screaming from the masses about my negative attitude.) Wallace turned out to be a cancer who poisoned the locker room and openly pined for his former Pistons teammates. Making the whole scene even more absurd: The Bulls refused to relax their ridiculous no-headband rule for this supposed savior, who had been wearing a headband for years.

3. Hiring Vinny Del Negro as coach. There were far, far, far better choices out there - and there still are. The Bulls will need to hire one of them if they are to win anything.

2. Drafting Tyrus Thomas in 2006. Pax, who should have known better, fell in love with the athlete instead of selecting the guy I begged him to take, Brandon Roy. The latter already is a superstar; the former never will be more than an unreliable role player. But boy, it sure is fun watching Tyrus' 10 highlight dunks and 5 highlight blocks a year.

1. Failing to draft Dwyane Wade in 2003. Had Pax agreed to include Donyell Marshall in a deal with Toronto, they would have been in position to take one of the NBA's three best players. Instead, Pax kept Marshall (for a little while, anyway) and settled for Kirk Hinrich. How's that working for the Bulls so far?

Nice try, Bulls

^

The Bald Truth

When the Bulls were down 10 with 12.8 seconds to go, I was trying to figure out how they were going to make a 10-point play to send the game into the first of 10 overtimes.

It was that kind of series.

The Balder Truth

Congratulations to my old Marquette friend, Doc "He Was Glenn Back Then" Rivers, for his Celtics managing to survive the Baby Bulls.

Next up: The Orlando Magic. Not exactly a vacation at Disney World.

If Rivers' best player, Paul Pierce, doesn't do significantly better in the next round, the tired Celtics will get swept.

The Letter

From loyal reader and frequent e-mailer Ron Pritchard of Dixon, Ill.:

All of the "experts" that were screaming when the Bulls picked Joakim Noah are pretty quiet now. The kid's playing pretty good basketball. Same thing goes for those who thought the Bulls should have picked Michael Beasley. Derrick Rose didn't turn out too badly, either.

Second point first: Not too many "experts" said the Bulls should take Beasley over Rose. Beasley will be a very good NBA player but it's a point guard's league and most of us knew Rose would be a good one.

As for Noah, I have been one of his detractors and I'll admit he has exceeded my expectations. During long stretches of Game 7, he was the Bulls' best player - which probably wasn't a good thing for the Bulls. 

Still, at best, Noah is a one-dimensional "Worm Lite" - a rebounding specialist and defensive pest. 

I think it's safe to say we all can agree on this: NBA power forwards shouldn't shoot like girls.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Much has been made and will continue to be made of the Bulls' fight and grit and spirit in almost upsetting the defending champions.

Well, while I give them their props for refusing to fold and making this one of the most memorable playoff series in NBA history, let's get one thing clear:

These Celtics bear little resemblance to last year's champions.

Kevin Garnett is out and one of his top backups, Leon Powe, suffered a season-ending injury in Game 1. The absence of Garnett, especially, changed everything. Boston's defense is nowhere near what it was. 

I said it before and I'll say it again: The Bulls were the deeper, more athletic, more talented team. They should have won the series - especially after stealing homecourt advantage.

It will be interesting to see what GM John Paxson does from here. The Ben Gordon decision will be excruciating - and I just don't see how they keep him. From there, questions abound.

If Gordon leaves, who will take the big shots and score the big baskets for this team? (Rose, perhaps, if he continues to develop?) If the Bulls do figure out how to bring Gordon back, how do they find enough money to pay the superstar perimeter player and stud inside presence they still need to be taken seriously as contenders? Is Luol Deng as big a dog as he appeared to be these last two seasons? What can John Salmons and Brad Miller do for the team over a full season? Will Tyrus Thomas, who is due a fairly sizable raise, ever really be a player? What kind of coach is Vinny Del Negro?

Optimistic Bulls fans look at this seven-game loss to the Celtics and see a team ready to break out. But I look at the Bulls' parts and still see a team nowhere near as good as the Cavaliers, Magic and Celtics (with Garnett). They're a superstar or so behind the Heat and Hawks, too.

Although that's progress from earlier this season and last year, let's not forget that it was only 2006-07 when the Bulls won 49 games and were considered a team ready to break out.

Instead, they just broke.

Pax has a lot of work yet to do ... and not a lot of room under the salary cap and luxury tax to do it.

Losing this epic series to the Celtics probably will be as good as it gets for most guys on this team not named Derrick Rose.

Lots of Bull. Also: Milton Bradley isn't game

^

The Bald Truth

Despite their 8,000-point home loss to the Celtics in Game 3, it wasn't all bad for the Bulls.

At least this time, Vinny Del Negro didn't leave his team with no time-outs for the crucial closing seconds.

The Quote & The List

"The Celtics have gotten all of the breaks." - Comcast Sports Net's Kendall Gill, before Thursday night's game.

Oh, absolutely! 

And now let's count those breaks the Celtics have gotten in this series:

5. How fortunate for Boston that Kevin Garnett has a bum knee and can't play. Had that talentless loser been in the lineup, Big Baby Davis never would have had a chance to repeatedly humiliate whatever that is the Bulls call defense.

4. That missed free throw by Paul Pierce at the end of regulation in Game 1 was a huge break for the Celtics. Sure, they lost instead of winning, but they also got to play overtime, which obviously got them ready for Games 2 and 3.

3. The sprained ankle Rajon Rondo suffered during Game 2 was perfect for the Celtics because he was starting to get a little bored going around Derrick Rose and the rest of the Bulls' alleged defense.

2. The season-ending injury to backup forward Leon Powe made it possible for the great Brian Scalabrine to get playing time. I mean, it was hard to imagine the Celtics having a chance without any headband-wearing, red-headed geeks.

1. The Celtics losing Game 1 and nearly losing Game 2 clearly made the Bulls overconfident. Which is perfectly understandable given that Boston is the defending NBA champion and the Bulls had to scramble just to make the playoffs.

The Balder Truth

At least Rose always will have Game 1.

Before canonizing the kid, everybody forgot he is, in fact, a kid.

When he says he has to improve a lot, believe him. Or just watch the tape of his Game 3 turnover-a-thon.

The Quote II

"It was like one team was in the playoffs and one team was in the preseason." - Bulls captain Kirk Hinrich.

No list, embellishment or further comment necessary.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Three weeks into the Cubs' season, and Milton Bradley has had the exact same number of hits as ejections, suspensions and media feuds.

For those scoring at home, that's one of each.

This guy is going to be a piece of work all season, as illustrated by Thursday's goings-on at Wrigley Field. Here's a link to the story I wrote for AP: 

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-cubs-bradley&prov=ap&type=lgns

Unlike my beat-writer colleagues, I really don't care if Cousin Miltie ever talks to me or not. And I don't think most Cubbie fans care if he engages the media, either. They just want him to get healthy, stay out of trouble and hit. And I just want him to opt against picking me up and throwing me into a dumpster.

One thing for sure: Lou Piniella already is getting a little impatient with the $30 Million Head Case. Like the rest of us, the skipper must be wondering why Bradley won't accept MLB's two-game suspension (for umpire abuse) while he's hurt instead of waiting until he's healthy.

Assuming Bradley ever gets healthy, that is. 

My favorite part of the day was listening to the Cincinnati baseball writers who covered Piniella back in his wild-and-crazy Reds heyday speculating on how long it will be before Sweet Lou goes all Rob Dibble on Cousin Miltie.

Hey kids ... more than five months of fun to go!

Bad newspaper news - the only kind these days

^

The Bald Truth

Another bleeping sad day in my bleeping former business.

The Chicago Tribune on Wednesday whacked dozens upon dozens of newsroom staffers, including sportswriters Melissa Isaacson, John Mullin, Bob Sakamoto and Terry Bannon. Also given the boot was a great sports photographer, Chuck Cherney.

Meanwhile, the douchebags there are trying to pay some $13 million in bonuses to managers, directors and other honchos. Un-bleeping-real.

I'd laugh if it wasn't so freakin' sickening.

Every once in awhile, I get a call from a relative or friend asking if I considered writing for this newspaper or that magazine. These folks are well-meaning, but they don't understand that the jobs simply aren't there. Online jobs that pay anything at all aren't there, either.

Sam Zell bought a news empire he couldn't come close to affording. He has destroyed pretty much everything he has touched at Tribune Co. And he has gutted one of the best newspapers in the land.

He's kind of like the clueless people who run my former company, GateHouse - only more evil.

The Balder Truth

That's one nasty tattoo first-year Cubbie Micah Hoffpauir has on his back, just beneath his right shoulder blade.

It looks like a combination of a baseball and a squid, with long tentacles streaming away from the ball.

"It was supposed to be a baseball with flames coming out of it, but it's horrible," Hoffpauir told me. "It's gotta be the lamest tattoo ever. I'm glad it's on my back so I don't ever have to see it when I look in the mirror!"

There's nothing to love about his tat, but there's a lot to like about his 'tude. Hoffpauir's statement that he has to "pay my dues" while waiting to become an everyday big-league ballplayer showed a maturity and perspective unusual among today's athletes. 

While Hoffpauir and his .375 average returned to the bench for Wednesday's 3-0 loss to the Reds, Milton ".043" Bradley was back in the Cubs' lineup Wednesday.

He went 0-for-4. Again.

Bradley has as many ejections (and suspensions) this season as he does hits. The $30 Million Man was booed repeatedly - and lustily - by Cubbieland denizens. 

This could get real ugly real fast, folks.

And I'm not talking about a flaming baseball tattoo.

Sorry, Celtics ...

... But after this one reference, I will never again call it the TD Banknorth Garden.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

In the biggest no-brainer of the NBA awards season, Derrick Rose was named Rookie of the Year. He then admitted that he had been lying every time he said he hadn't even thought about winning top rookie honors.

"When I first came into the season, my big thing was to get this award," he now says. "I told you all that I didn't care, but when you're coming in, you really do want this."

It's tough to get mad at the kid for fibbing, especially now that he's being honest about the fib. It was about as innocent a fib as one can make, too.

John Paxson has done many good things as the Bulls' GM (and plenty of questionable things), but the best thing he ever did was get lucky as hell in the 2008 Draft Lottery.

Without Rose landing in their laps, the Bulls would be a team with a murky future and an even worse present.

With him, they've got a better than 50-50 chance to knock off the defending champs.

As I like to say after making one of my rare birdies: Luck is better than skill - always.

Gotta love that (bleeping) KG!

^

The Bald Truth

Whether happy or sad, anguished or encouraged, excited or outraged, Kevin Garnett sure loves his f-bombs.

And even more, it seems, his m-f-bombs.

The guy's a 7-foot, black, athletic, male Patti Blagojevich, for (bleep's) sake!

Genteel lip-readers couldn't have been pleased Monday that TNT cameras kept zooming in on KG every time the injured Celtic screamed the f-word in any and all of its various forms.

Adjectives. Nouns. Verbs. Hyphenated qualifiers. 

KG had his whole vocabulary on display. And TNT captured it all for viewers big and small.

Something for everyone ... which, I guess, is what the NBA Cares campaign is all about.

The Balder Truth

Just when I thought it would be impossible to top Game 1, the Bulls-Celtics series got even more exciting in Game 2. 

Watching Ray Allen and Ben Gordon trading incredible clutch shots was like watching two in-their-prime middleweights trading haymakers.

As it turns out, Allen got in the last shot and was the last man standing.

In Game 1, a new Chicago sports legend officially was born, with Derrick Rose outdueling Rajon Rondo. It's just been great stuff, every bit as intense and entertaining as any basketball anywhere.

The Celtics are one missed Paul Pierce free throw from holding a 2-0 series lead. And the Bulls are one made Allen jumper from holding a 2-0 series lead. 

Appropriately, then, it's all tied at 1 ... and I'm already looking forward to Act Three at the United Center.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Taking a detour during their off-day in Baltimore, the White Sox visited the White House and met Barack Obama. 

The president shook hands and traded small talk with the players on his favorite team - and even granted reliever Octavio Dotel's request for a hug.

"Look at that!" screamed Sean Hannity. "As if it isn't bad enough that Obama is a militant Muslim socialist! There's all the proof you need that he's a gay militant Muslim socialist! We're all doomed! Doomed, I tell you!!!"