Rodman ... bigger in Korea than in U.S.?

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One of this winter's wackiest stories is this week's news that Dennis Rodman is in North Korea to promote "basketball diplomacy."

So I guess this means the Worm isn't planning to head-butt Kim Jong Un or kick him in the groin or grope any of the royal women, right?

Word is, KJU loved the '90s era Chicago Bulls, so he's thrilled about Worm's appearance. I think it's a great idea. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

One thing I know for sure is that Rodman doesn't have too many more years that he can impress people just by being Dennis Freakin' Rodman.

I recently appeared at a 5th-grade career day and brought several props with me, including a 1997 international magazine for which I had written a long freelance article on Worm. Rodman was on the cover all decked out as only he could do it: rainbow-dyed hair, earring, mascara, lipstick, a huge cross on his naked chest, tats aplenty. Back then, he was among the most recognizable human beings on the entire planet.

Fast-forward 16 years. Not a single one of the 100 or so fifth-graders I talked to had a clue who Dennis Rodman was.

They do know Michael Jordan, but mostly as a TV pitchman and the owner of the NBA's worst basketball team. What I'm saying is that it won't be many more years until I no longer am able to impress anybody with old newspaper photos showing me and Jordan together.

I'm 52 now, and that isn't always fun. Still, it's somehow a little comforting to know that even uber-celebs such as Rodman (who is 51) and Jordan (50) have expiration dates, too.
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From golf balls to snowballs in 24 hours

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On Friday afternoon, I played my first 9 holes of 2013. I wore shorts and a polo shirt on the sunny, 64-degree day.

By Saturday afternoon, it was about 30 degrees colder. It was flurrying when Roberta and I went into the grocery store to buy a few items. When we finished about 15 minutes later, the snow was falling fast, in huge, wet flakes.

A few hours later, there was an inch or two of snow on the ground. The kids next door, who had seen snow only a couple of times in their lives, were outside playing. Roberta and Simmie joined them, with my wife building a snowman and the puppy running around enjoying the first measurable snow of her young life.

See? Just when I started missing Chicago a little bit, it came to visit me.
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Trying to make sense of the crazy bouncing ball

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I've been watching college basketball for a long, long time and there probably is no sport I enjoy more.

I'm pretty sure I've never seen a season quite as crazy as this one, with the No. 1 team losing pretty much every week, upsets upon upsets, crazy shots to win games (or send them into overtime), multiple OTs, etc.

Saturday's Louisville-ND game certainly was as wild as any I've ever seen. Guys who had done nothing all game long for ND all of a sudden started scoring in the most tense situations and Rick Pitino's boys found a way to lose a game they had won about a dozen times.

I used to gripe if Marquette won a game that was "too close for comfort." Given everything that's happened this season, though, I'll take any win over any opponent.

I've heard several theories to why this has happened -- early departures to the NBA, poor fundamentals, defenders being allowed to mug offensive players, the 3-pointer, etc. -- but none is exactly a new revelation. Every single one of those factors existed last season and two years ago and the season before that.

The only thing I can think of is that, for whatever reason, there are no dominant, superstar-filled teams. So anybody literally can win or lose any game.

Again, why that happened this year is anybody's guess. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride.

---

I have a new personal finance article on Seeking Alpha. I get paid per pageclick, so support your favorite charity and click away:

http://seekingalpha.com/article/1170501-ignoring-52-week-highs-reinvesting-dividends-and-other-lessons-learned

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A-Roid & Dis-Grace battle for the bottom

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Mark Grace, long admired by Cubbieland denizens as a "good guy," is a convicted felon who soon will start serving a 4-month prison sentence. The former World Series hero -- not with the Cubs, of course, but with the Diamondbacks, for whom he began the title-winning rally in 2001 by singling off Mariano Rivera -- also has been fired from the Diamondbacks' broadcast crew.

This trouble stems from his second DUI in a 15-month span.

Now, some would argue that receiving a DUI doesn't necessarily remove Grace from "good guy" status. After all, lots of everyday folks do a little drinking, do a little driving and do a little getting caught.

I understand that, but here's the deal:

Grace has long been a party boy. Loves to drink and socialize. Is he an alcoholic? Probably, by definition, though I don't know for sure. What I do know for sure is that Grace made millions and millions of dollars as a ballplayer and also was getting paid handsomely as an analyst.

In other words, THE MAN CAN AFFORD A CAB!

While all this was playing out in Arizona, 2,000 miles away in Florida, Alex Rodriguez was one of several players who reportedly bought some performance-enhancing drugs within the last few years.

A-Rod, of course, is denying the accusation in very strong, "how dare anybody say such a thing" terms. It's very similar to the last time he denied a similar accusation, only to have to come clean and apologize for his transgression -- a transgression that very well could cost him Hall of Fame enshrinement down the line.

To say we have absolutely no reason to believe this proven liar and cheater is an understatement.

Now, who is "worse," A-Roid or Dis-Grace?

Alex Rodriguez cheated baseball, cheated fans, cheated kids who might have looked up to him and, in the end, cheated himself.

Mark Grace? He endangered every human being whose path he crossed when he drove his car under the influence of alcohol. He could have killed others and himself.

Given that, his transgression must be considered "worse."

That still doesn't mean Grace is a "bad guy." What it does mean is that he should spend some of his time in prison thinking about how he wants the second half of his life to play out.

He needs help, and I hope he gets it.
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Of 7 billion people in world, exactly 1 thinks Randy Moss is greater than Jerry Rice

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If the draft is the worst event on the NFL calendar -- and, I swear on a stack of Mel Kiper's hair, it most definitely is -- Super Bowl Media Day is the goofiest.

I covered several of them and always came away with a good column or story. Not trying to claim I wrote well; just saying there were many good stories available to be told. The actual quality of my writing was for others to judge, be it excellent or merely great.

And speaking of braggadocio, we have this year's silliest story:

Randy Moss said he is the greatest receiver in football history.

"No disrespect to Jerry Rice," he told the zillion reporters who were listening.


                 REC      YARDS      TD    1000  PRO BL  TITLES

RICE       1,549      22,895        197       14        13            3

MOSS       982       15,292         156       10         7             0


No wonder why Moss believes he's the greatest ever. Except for huge deficits in receptions, yards, touchdowns, 1,000-yard seasons, Pro Bowl appearances and championships, he has it all over Rice.

Next from Moss: He's a better singer than Freddie Mercury ever dreamed of being.
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Every once in a while, I get a wild hair up my you-know-what to write something political ... and I've done it again.

This time, the Charlotte Observer was kind enough (or crazy enough?) to publish it. They even ran a "teaser" for the column on the front page of the op-ed section in Sunday's paper.

It's about Hillary and Benghazi and the hypocrisy of politicians, as you'll see if you take a look right here.

And remember, there will be a quiz!
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Unfortunately, "aloha" also means goodbye!

Roberta and I at Kauai's Waimea Canyon at the end of an hour-long climb. It is known as the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific," and it is spectacular!

A sea turtle at Poipu Beach in Kauai. A week later, we saw several of his relatives while snorkeling off the Maui coast.

That's me enjoying my all-yellow breakfast: Maui Gold pineapple, scrambled eggs, peach yogurt, orange juice, corn muffins, butter and a banana. Wait ... did I say yellow? I meant to say "gold," as in Marquette gold and blue!

Taking a break after diving into Queen's Bath on the north coast of Kauai.

Katie and Ben at a waterfall after hiking through a bamboo forest off the road to Hana.

The happy family on our last day in Hawaii. We got through the week and still seem to like each other!!

Ben and I at a wildlife preserve on Maui.

Roberta and I at the same wildlife preserve.

Roberta snapped this pic of a humpback whale's tail during our snorkel trip off the coast of Maui. Two male whales were battling for the affections of a lady. It was more than just a little cool.

The only thing bad about the vacation: It had to end!
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A rough week for cheaters

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First, there was dopey doper Lance Armstrong vaulting past Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire into the No. 1 spot in the Lying Sleazeball Hall of Shame. Has any athlete ever cheated his way to more glory over a longer stretch than Lyin' Lance? As it turns out, his most noble act was helping Oprah get good ratings for his network. Given all that he overcame to be such a dominant sports figure, I never thought I'd utter this sentence: Lance Armstrong is a coward. 

Then came Manti Te'o. I'm still not buying the Notre Dame linebacker's lack of complicity in the whole "my fake girlfriend is dead" scam. For those who feel sorry for him, he did lie to both his father and to reporters about supposed face-to-face meetings with his online love. Come on, Manti ... even Jan Brady fessed up about George Glass shortly after inventing him.

Finally, it was Bill Belichick getting completely outcoached by the Ravens' John Harbaugh, who seemed to know what the Patriots were going to do before Belichick's team did. It's now been nine long years since Belichick's last title. I guess it's tough to be a genius without illegally spying on one's opponents.

***

Roberta and I just got back from Hawaii, where we spent six nights relaxing on Kauai and then six nights on Maui having fun with Katie and Ben. Aside from seeing the kids and enjoying fantastic weather, the highlight had to be our 5 1/2-hour boat trip -- during which we snorkeled with huge sea turtles, oohed and aahed as two male humpback whales brawled for the affection of a female and watched four spinner dolphins frolicking in the surf.

We also ate lots of good food, enjoyed a cold beer or three, got pummeled by humongous waves, hiked into Waimea Canyon and also into a bamboo forest, caught up on our sleep and watched an NFL playoff game that started at 8 a.m. local time.

Everybody defines paradise differently, but it's pretty hard to spend time in Hawaii and not believe you've found it.
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A Hall of a situation

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Yes, it was headline-worthy that not one candidate was elected to the Hall of Fame ... but really, was it that big of a surprise?

Even if any of the Royd Boyz do eventually get in, it is not the least bit shocking they were denied on their initial year as candidates. I specifically said I wasn't going to give the likes of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens the special honor of being first-ballot HoFers, and I'm sure dozens (if not hundreds) of my fellow voters felt that way, too.

Craig Biggio also didn't quite make it on the first ballot, but he has an excellent chance next year because there are many, many BBWAA voters who save first-ballot HoF status for only the best of the best.

Other observations:

-- I knew Sammy Sosa wouldn't come close to getting in but I was surprised he received fewer votes than Mark McGwire did. While those two will be linked forever in baseball history, Sosa finished with better numbers and also had more skills than McGwire did.

-- Again, I'm not stunned that Jeff Bagwell didn't get in, but I did think he would get more votes. I was relieved he didn't miss by one, because I already am second-guessing my decision to leave him off my ballot.

-- Don Mattingly received enough votes to stay on the ballot for next year but Bernie Williams didn't. There is zero doubt in my mind that Williams was the better, more important Yankee.

-- Lots of get-a-lifers -- yahoos who spend a good chunk of their time obsessing about the HoF -- said only idiots would refuse to put the Royd Boyz in the Hall on the first ballot while stating we very well might vote for Bonds and Clemens in future years. Well, here's what another first-ballot candidate, Curt Schilling, told ESPN:

"I think it's fitting. If there ever were a ballot or a year to make a statement about what we didn't do as players, this is it."

Schilling went on to say that even players who weren't juicers were complicit in the Steroid Era and deserved to be denied Hall entry. And he went out of the way to include himself among the guilty.

Schilling, who finished just ahead of Bonds and Clemens, got my vote. And now I feel even better about it.

-- Sad to see two guys drop off the ballot: Dale Murphy couldn't get anywhere near enough votes during  his 15 years of eligibility but truly embodied all the great things in sports; and Kenny Lofton, a fine player during his prime who almost surely deserved more than one year as a candidate (he didn't get the required 5 percent of the vote).

-- I sure as heck hope that the one writer who checked the box next to Aaron Sele's name did so as a protest vote.
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Today's High 5: Observations from the make-believe college football championship game

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5. Well, so much for all those narrow victories being a sign that fate was on Notre Dame's side.

4. Fate, apparently, couldn't make up for the fact that Notre Dame's players weren't anywhere near as good as Alabama's players.

3. My sources at the Vatican tell me Pope Benedict XVI was so impressed with the Crimson Tide that he converted from Catholic to Catho-hick.

2. Hold on ... I think 'Bama just scored again.

1. Touchdown Jesus lost to a guy who is one letter away from being Satan. (Think about it.)
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