Monday, August 22, 2011

Pryor knowledge: Another Tebow-like waste

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Al Davis wasting a third-round draft pick on Terrelle Pryor wasn't quite as bad as Josh McDaniels wasting a first-rounder on Tim Tebow ... but it's right down there.

At least Pryor might help the Raiders at some position other than QB. The Broncos likely will never get any meaningful contribution from Tebow, who as a bad quarterback in mediocre linebacker clothing.

The NFL has changed a lot over the years, thanks principally to the 3 S's: Size, Speed, Strength. What hasn't changed is that a consistently winning QB must be far, far, far more than a great athlete.

Guys like Tebow, Pryor, Eric Crouch, Vince Young, Doug Flutie, even Michael Vick can't win merely because they can outrun people. For one thing, they learn the hard way that NFL linemen and linebackers are considerably quicker than those in college.

As for those who would say Steve Young, Roger Staubach and Fran Tarkenton proved that scramblers could win, well, those folks have selective memories.

Fact is, each quarterback was a great passer. Young, especially, was incredibly accurate. And each didn't become a big-time winner until he learned exactly when to deploy his legs at the right time.

Look at the list of Super Bowl-winning QBs. Look at which quarterbacks consistently help their teams advance in the playoffs.

They often were described as leaders, students of the game, great passers, coaches on the field ... not "athletes." The most nimble used their legs to buy time in the pocket, maybe to pull off a surprise run.

The majority of them would have lost a 40-yard race to Fridge Perry.
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Friday, August 19, 2011

First Hendry made Losers unlovable, then he lost his job

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Among other accomplishments, Jim Hendry acquired Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton for next to nothing, convinced Greg Maddux to come back to Cubbieland, discovered Starlin Castro, gambled that Ryan Dempster could overcome a serious injury, turned Mark DeRosa into an everyday ballplayer, found a way to dump Sammy Sosa after El Corko had become toxic and twice hired "the best manager available" in Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella.

Revisionist historians will claim Hendry always has been a terrible GM, but the facts suggest he did lots and lots of good things, too.

In baseball, though, lots and lots ain't enough ... unless at least one of those lots is a pennant.

Given the team's slide to the depths of despair, Hendry probably should have been fired at least a year ago. His career likely was lengthened by the drawn-out ownership pursuit of Tom Ricketts, who understandably wanted to see what he was getting before he started making big changes.

"I got more than my fair chance," Hendry told reporters Friday after the ax fell.

Most owners don't want to spend money even for decent teams. They absolutely hate spending big money for losers, and who can blame them?

Hendry's recent Cubbie clubs have been loaded with big-money busts. The team sucked. And the impossible seemingly happened, as empty seats started outnumbering filled ones at many ballgames at Wrigley Field. The latter is an unpardonable sin.

Told of Hendry's dismissal, White Sox GM Ken Williams said his North Side counterpart "swung for the fences." Williams meant it as a compliment, of course, because he does the same thing.

The problem comes when the swings start producing more whiffs than hits ... and in recent years, Hendry became the Adam Dunn of GMs.

Not only did he commit far too much of ownership's money on bad ballplayers, he also committed far too much of it to miscreants and malcontents as the Cubs became Unlovable Losers.

Only a sucker would pay $60 for a bleacher seat to watch Cra-Z Zambrano pitch.

That Hendry was the only GM in baseball who thought Milton Bradley was a $30 million ballplayer probably says all anybody needs to know about why Hendry is now an ex-GM. It seems like ancient history now, but that 2008-09 offseason deal was the beginning of the end for Hendry.

No GM outworked Jim Hendry, who famously was hospitalized with a heart condition when he signed Ted Lilly before the 2007 season. Hendry's an OK guy, too. He and I mostly got along, and when he did disagree with something I wrote, he pulled me aside and told me privately. I had to respect that.

In the end, however, the Cubs went 749-748 under his watch. That's the very definition of mediocrity, and it cannot be tolerated.

Not even in Cubbieland, where dreams have gone to die for 103 years and counting.
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

U of Miami: Magna Cum Fraude

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I am shocked -- shocked! -- that the University of Miami, famous for putting academics ahead of football, would get embroiled in an extra-benefits scandal that would see its freckle-faced young lads receive cash, cars, travel, hookers and miscellaneous other $alacious $tuff from boo$ters.

Moreover, I am stunned -- stunned! -- that this could happen at any American institution of higher education. After all, mustn't we always refer to these lads as student-athletes?

I mean, what next? Some of these lads might not graduate magna cum laude?
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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

600 big flies for a really good guy

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Congrats on No. 600 to Jim Thome, one my favorite athletes I've ever covered.

Jim didn't need 600 to validate anything. He already had Hall of Fame enshrinement in the bag. Still, it sure is a nice exclamation point on a superb career for one of the true good guys ever to play professional sports.

Baseball -- and society, for that matter -- could use a lot more Jim Thomes.
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Monday, August 15, 2011

Today's High Five - Cra-Z (& PGA) Edition

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5. Sure, Carlos Zambrano is Cra-Z ... but if the Cubbies sack him for good, they'll miss a chance to finally get a big-game performance out of what already has been a $115 million investment in the loony right-hander. So what if he's 0-for-a-decade? Haven't you ever heard of a late bloomer?

4. Deficit, schmeficit. Joblessness, schmoblessness. Recession, schmession. Some dude named Keegan Bradley has won the PGA Championship, and all is grand in America again!

3. The MLB union says the Cubs have no right to suspend Zambrano without pay for 30 days. Seems the guild doesn't want there to be a precedent for teams punishing bombastic, lunatic, headhunting quitters. Makes sense to me.

2. As entertaining as it was to watch Tiger Woods hit the same kind of shots that I all too often do, shank you very much, the PGA Tour desperately needs him -- or somebody -- to be The Guy.

Right now, the tour is a massive blob of Luke Donalds (No. 1 by default), Steve Strickers (just good enough to not win the big one), Phil Mickelsons (fading former heroes), Rory McIlroys (not-quite-ready-for-coronation young guns) and a boatload of Keegan Bradleys.

As a fan, I want somebody setting the bar. I want The Guy every other golfer knows he must beat.

Yes, no-names occasionally won majors even before this current run of has-beens and never-will-bes ... but at least those nobodies had to beat Tiger Woods to do it. Now, alas, they only have to beat Jason Dufner.

1. It was nice to see Cubbie brass take a stand against not just Cra-Z but the entire notion that it's permissible for a bad pitcher to go headhunting just because he's bad.

Though I've never been a big fan of beanballs (because I generally am against assault with a deadly weapon), I at least understand the unwritten rules justifying "purpose pitches" in retaliation for an opponent's hotdogging or headhunting.

What I've never gotten is the belief by many that it's all right for a pitcher who has been rocked to throw at the next batter. Or for a team that gives up homers to a guy in his first two at-bats to then throw at him his third time up.

That amounts to a player or team saying: "I (we) suck, and I (we) can't get you out, so I'm (we're) gonna be chickenshit and throw at you. So there."

So good for Jim Hendry for saying that isn't OK -- yes, the Cubbie GM finally did something right.

And here's hoping the Cubs won't condone the practice even when the guilty pitcher isn't a multimillion-dollar albatross the team desperately wants to dump.
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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Sweaty but still swingin'

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I'm not sure what came over me Tuesday but I decided to walk 18 holes at a hilly course in 95 degree temps with 75 percent humidity. By the end, I was practically seeing mirages, I was so delirious.

Actually, the front 9 went well, at least by my standards. Shot a 42 with five pars, my best 9 so far as a Charlotte resident. I was tired but parred 8 and 9 and felt good about how I was playing, so when I presented myself with 3 choices -- A. Go home happy with the 42; B. Grab a cart for the back 9; C. Keep on keepin' on -- A didn't seem the right move. And though I was a sweaty mess, I thought I could keep going as long as I consumed lots of fluids. Ugh.

I got through No. 10 with a double-bogey but it was the long, uphill walk from 10 to 11 that almost did me in. Not surprisingly, I went triple-double-double over the next three holes, meaning I was 9 over through 4 on the back after going 6 over on the entire front.

I got a nice break on No. 14 when construction on the men's tee area forced all golfers to go from the ladies' tee, turning a long par-4 into a 300-yarder. I carded a par and was rejuvenated a little. I then went bogey-bogey-bogey.

When I stepped to the 18th tee to begin the 522-yarder, I was beyond spent. Still, I just told myself to take some deep breaths and be happy this would be the end (hopefully only of the round, not of me). I hit my best drive of the day and followed with by far my best fairway wood and a decent pitch shot that left me about 12 feet from the hole. I ran my birdie putt a couple feet beyond the hole and then tapped in for a satisfying par.

My final tally: 42-48-90. Could have been better but it still beat my previous best at the course, a 92.

This was the first time I had walked this course and I might do so again, but not in that kind of heat and humidity. At the very least, I should have gotten a cart for the much more arduous back 9.

Still, there was a sense of personal satisfaction knowing that, at 50, I still could do something like this. I'm a wimp, sure, but not quite as wimpy a wimp as I thought.

And here's the best thing: I actually earned sympathy points from my wife even though she worked a full day and I played golf!
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Monday, August 8, 2011

Thankfully, CEOs won't lose bonuses to any tax hike!

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Through their incompetence, intransigence or both, the fools and thieves in charge of our government have socked us with a financial penalty worse than any 100 tax hikes.

The lead-up to and aftermath of the Debt Ceiling Follies have resulted in trillions of dollars in lost wealth, and not just for the wealthy. I'm certainly not rich and I've probably suffered six-figure losses in my retirement accounts these past two weeks.

I say "probably" only because I'm too depressed to take a long look at my accounts and tally the actual damages.

As a moderate who believes in the wonders of compromise, I'd love to blame the tea partiers for all of this ... but I can't, even if they are the drivers of the U.S.S. Insanity. Incredibly, some of these line-in-the-sand yahoos are still complaining that they only got 99 percent of what they wanted.

The gutless "regular" Republicans couldn't think for themselves and let a minority of extremists in their ranks dictate the dialogue. I'm still waiting for one working-class (or unemployed) Republican to adequately explain why he or she would support GOP politicians who so obviously could give a rat's rear about anybody but the richest 3 percent of society.

Did I say 3 percent? Sorry. I meant 1 percent.

The even more gutless Democrats, meanwhile, routinely get pantsed by their rivals because they aren't tough enough. They could have prevented all this from happening by acting on the debt ceiling last December, when they had vast legislative majorities, but they were immobilized by fear. As for Barack Obama, what does the man stand for? More than 2 1/2 years into his presidency, I wish I knew.

It might take years for us to recover the savings we've lost in just the last few weeks -- and, despite Rick Perry's pathetic Prayer-A-Palooza over the weekend -- the fall is far from over.

But hey, at least our elected leaders managed to prevent the elimination of tax loopholes for corporate jet owners and hedge fund managers. The Republic is saved!
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Today's High Five

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5. Thank goodness Timothy Geithner is staying on as Treasury secretary. I mean, without him, America would be having a rough time financially instead of going through such robust growth.

4. So, Stevie Williams beat Tiger Woods. Pretty interesting stuff. Oh, and I hear Adam Scott was involved somehow, too.

3. Even Cubbie fans can't be gullible enough to have gotten excited about that 7-game winning streak, right? Right?

2. Let's see: Hunter Pence is a talented, popular, 28-year-old, prime-of-his-career-still-to-come outfielder who can't be a free agent until 2014. I'm still trying to figure out why the Astros felt they needed to trade him to the Phillies or anybody else. Dumping Carlos Lee and his bloated contract (and bloated body), I could have understood. But isn't Pence just the kind of player such a franchise should build around?

1. No more AAA for the U.S.A.? Now who are we gonna call when we get a flat tire or need a TripTik?
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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Pirates hit doozy of a speed bump

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Figures.

Just as the national media climbs aboard the Pirate Bandwagon, both wheels fall off, the cargo gets dumped at the side of the road and the driver passes out from exhaustion.

How bad have things gotten? Now they can't even beat the Cubs!

Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

Make way for Losing Season No. 19 in a row.
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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A most memorable whitewater experience

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I had out-of-town visitors last week and took them to the U.S. National Whitewater Center, a relatively new Charlotte facility that hosted the 2008 Olympic kayak trials.

We went rafting on the manmade rapids (more on that later), kayaking on the nearby Catawba River and ziplining. I even took a 46-foot leap off a platform -- the Mega Jump -- with a cable attached. We could have done rockclimbing, an obstacle course and other activities, too, but we were too exhausted and sun-drenched.

As for that rafting experience ...

Our guide calls himself Capt. Dan. He was so tan it looked painful, as if his entire body and face had been stretched to the limit and then wrapped in a leather girdle. It quickly became obvious that he was full of himself, as he rattled off the names of the dozens of rivers on which he had steered rafts. Oh, and he spoke in a fake, sometimes unintelligible southern drawl; I mean, the dude's bio says he's from Hoboken, N.J.!

Simply stated, Capt. Dan was a piece of work.

Two in our party were kids and two more were middle-aged ladies, and Capt. Dan soon became frustrated that power and teamwork were lacking. Near the end of our five-run trip, he pretty much gave up on us ... but not before our raft capsized, spilling all of us into the water.

It was a brutally hot day, so I didn't mind the swim, but one of the women in our group briefly had gotten trapped under the raft and started panicking a little. Thankfully, she came out of it just fine.

So was the whole day a disaster and, given the nearly 50-dollar-a-head price, a rip-off?

Not at all. While it wasn't quite the same experience as actual rafting on an actual river, we had a lot of fun.

And Capt. Dan gave us something to talk about for the rest of the weekend, maybe even for the rest of our lives.
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