Thankfully, CEOs won't lose bonuses to any tax hike!

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Through their incompetence, intransigence or both, the fools and thieves in charge of our government have socked us with a financial penalty worse than any 100 tax hikes.

The lead-up to and aftermath of the Debt Ceiling Follies have resulted in trillions of dollars in lost wealth, and not just for the wealthy. I'm certainly not rich and I've probably suffered six-figure losses in my retirement accounts these past two weeks.

I say "probably" only because I'm too depressed to take a long look at my accounts and tally the actual damages.

As a moderate who believes in the wonders of compromise, I'd love to blame the tea partiers for all of this ... but I can't, even if they are the drivers of the U.S.S. Insanity. Incredibly, some of these line-in-the-sand yahoos are still complaining that they only got 99 percent of what they wanted.

The gutless "regular" Republicans couldn't think for themselves and let a minority of extremists in their ranks dictate the dialogue. I'm still waiting for one working-class (or unemployed) Republican to adequately explain why he or she would support GOP politicians who so obviously could give a rat's rear about anybody but the richest 3 percent of society.

Did I say 3 percent? Sorry. I meant 1 percent.

The even more gutless Democrats, meanwhile, routinely get pantsed by their rivals because they aren't tough enough. They could have prevented all this from happening by acting on the debt ceiling last December, when they had vast legislative majorities, but they were immobilized by fear. As for Barack Obama, what does the man stand for? More than 2 1/2 years into his presidency, I wish I knew.

It might take years for us to recover the savings we've lost in just the last few weeks -- and, despite Rick Perry's pathetic Prayer-A-Palooza over the weekend -- the fall is far from over.

But hey, at least our elected leaders managed to prevent the elimination of tax loopholes for corporate jet owners and hedge fund managers. The Republic is saved!
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Lockouts, shooting sprees and everything in between

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This Week's Top Ten:

10. Congrats to NFL owners and players for settling on a collective bargaining agreement in time to save the season. Now if they only could do something important and get Congress and the White House to agree on a debt-ceiling package. How 'bout it, Jerry Jones and Tom Brady?

9. Republicans are afraid that ending tax loopholes and enacting other revenue-producing steps will hurt the economy (as well as piss off their rich -- oops, sorry, their "job-creating" -- friends). Democrats, meanwhile, believe entitlement programs can grow forever and ever without hurting the economy at all. Compromise, of course, is the obvious solution ... but apparently obvious only to those of us who aren't in position to make such decisions.

8. The Tour de France has ended. Tune in tomorrow for the Tour de Doping Scandal.

7. Good news, folks: It looks like we're about to use millions more in taxpayer dollars on a second Roger Clemens trial that's bound to be at least as satisfying and meaningful as the first. And we wonder why our nation is in hock up to its collective eyeballs.

6. I have a timeshare I'm thinking about giving away just so I no longer will have to pay the annual fee. Kind of like the Cubs' thoughts regarding Alfonso Soriano ... except I think I'll be able to avoid having to pay $40 million just to get somebody to take my week in Myrtle Beach.

5. Maybe you've noticed (but probably you haven't) that I've been blogging pretty infrequently lately. You'll be pleased to know that somehow I've managed to survive the financial consequences of such inactivity.

4. Here's something interesting: LeBron went on ESPN to announce he's taking his talents to South Beach to do nothing.

3. Someday I'm going to figure out why South Korean women dominate the LPGA Tour but hardly any of their male counterparts even play on the PGA Tour.

2. On the same weekend the NFL lockout effectively ended came the first rumors of Brett Favre's next un-retirement. Talk about perfect timing.

1. To draw attention to his belief that Muslims are evil murderers, a gun-loving evangelical Christian murdered dozens of innocent non-Islam children. The human race is so screwed.
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