Thankfully, CEOs won't lose bonuses to any tax hike!

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Through their incompetence, intransigence or both, the fools and thieves in charge of our government have socked us with a financial penalty worse than any 100 tax hikes.

The lead-up to and aftermath of the Debt Ceiling Follies have resulted in trillions of dollars in lost wealth, and not just for the wealthy. I'm certainly not rich and I've probably suffered six-figure losses in my retirement accounts these past two weeks.

I say "probably" only because I'm too depressed to take a long look at my accounts and tally the actual damages.

As a moderate who believes in the wonders of compromise, I'd love to blame the tea partiers for all of this ... but I can't, even if they are the drivers of the U.S.S. Insanity. Incredibly, some of these line-in-the-sand yahoos are still complaining that they only got 99 percent of what they wanted.

The gutless "regular" Republicans couldn't think for themselves and let a minority of extremists in their ranks dictate the dialogue. I'm still waiting for one working-class (or unemployed) Republican to adequately explain why he or she would support GOP politicians who so obviously could give a rat's rear about anybody but the richest 3 percent of society.

Did I say 3 percent? Sorry. I meant 1 percent.

The even more gutless Democrats, meanwhile, routinely get pantsed by their rivals because they aren't tough enough. They could have prevented all this from happening by acting on the debt ceiling last December, when they had vast legislative majorities, but they were immobilized by fear. As for Barack Obama, what does the man stand for? More than 2 1/2 years into his presidency, I wish I knew.

It might take years for us to recover the savings we've lost in just the last few weeks -- and, despite Rick Perry's pathetic Prayer-A-Palooza over the weekend -- the fall is far from over.

But hey, at least our elected leaders managed to prevent the elimination of tax loopholes for corporate jet owners and hedge fund managers. The Republic is saved!
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Yankee Doodle Handouts

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The Bald Truth

Unable to sell out Homers R Plenty Stadium, the Yankees begrudgingly lowered premium ticket prices from $2,500 to $1,250 ... and you know what that means:

Time for the Steinbrenner & Sons to hit up New York taxpayers for another half billion or so.

Hey, it worked last time.

The Choice

Brad Miller badly missing the first of two free throws with 2 seconds left and the Bulls trailing the Celtics by 2 points?

Or ...

Brad Miller coming nowhere near the rim while intentionally trying to miss the second attempt?

Or ...

The refs not having the cajones to assess a flagrant foul on Rajon Rondo for practically beheading Brad Miller on the play leading to the above free-throw scenarios?

The Balder Truth

If it's not the swine flu, the flying NASCAR debris will kill us all.

As Roseann Roseannadanna used to say: It's always something!

Bank On This

The New York Times is reporting that workers at Wall Street's largest financial firms are on track to earn as much money this year as they did before they greased the skids for the financial mess that wiped out the rest of us.

Thank goodness! I mean, how bad would it have been for the economy if sales of Bimmers, cocaine and $2,000 "escorts" plummeted?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Hey Look ...

It's Paul Pierce, actually acting like a superstar and carrying the Celtics to a wild overtime win in Game 5.

Why, if Mr. Invisible finally has decided to show up, his old, beat-up, bench-less Celtics just might have a chance to lose in Round 2.