Today's High 5 - Blago Edition

^
5. Monday wasn't a total loss for Rod Blagojevich. His beloved Cubbies scored a crucial victory over the Rockies and now are a mere 14 games under .500.

4. When the jury convicted him on 17 of 20 corruption charges, Blago said he was stunned. A totally predictable reaction. He's the kind of guy who thinks he can fool all of the people all of the time. And why not? Each of the six times the corrupt buffoon ran for office, a majority of his Illinois constituents voted for him. It's understandable that he doubted 12 jurors could see through his b.s.

3. Blago's successor, Pat Quinn, had better hustle. He has fewer than four years to do something crooked enough to become the third straight Illinois governor to serve time. I'm confident he can do it!!

2. If I'm Patti Blagojevich, I'm thinking: "I ate a tarantula for that?"

1. Lots of people believe they live in politically corrupt places. For example, friends in New Jersey and Arizona and here in my new state of North Carolina actually think they're No. 1. Please. elected officials in Illinois take oaths promising to meet graft minimums.
^

I lost on Blago's elections, but at least I was right

^
In 2002, I lobbied hard for Illinois Democrats to choose Paul Vallas as their gubernatorial candidate. He had done a great job as superintendent of Chicago schools and wasn't a sleazebag, as his opponent, Rod Blagojevich was. Unfortunately, the downstaters inexplicably went with Blago, he scored a narrow primary victory and he went on to be elected governor.

A moderate who makes decisions based on candidates, policies and platforms -- not parties -- I then voted for Republican Jim Ryan, the eventual loser.

Four years -- and several Blago scandals and scams later -- I voted for Republican Judy Baar Topinka even though there was little evidence the state treasurer would be a good governor. I simply couldn't vote for Blago. Alas, Blago outspent Topinka 4-to-1 and won an 11 percent victory.

The rest is history. As I write this, a jury is trying to decide if it should convict Blago on multiple corruption charges. He was a terrible governor and an embarrassment to the state -- albeit a godsend to standup comedians.

Looking back, I consider my decisions regarding his gubernatorial elections to be my best as a voter.
^

Well, that didn't take long

^
After watching his Cubbies go into the tank in his first season as owner and then raising ticket prices for 2011 to astronomical levels, Tom Ricketts is asking Illinois - a state that is flat-broke, by the way - to give up tax revenue so he can make Wrigley Field more profitable for him and his siblings.

Even though Ricketts has more money in his sofa cushions than most of us have in our bank accounts, I can't say I blame him for trying.

That's the way the game is played these days: billionaires asking for public handouts to fund their sports toys.

Besides, he's riding a winning streak after successfully squeezing every last dime from the equally broke folks of Mesa to keep Cubbie spring-training in Arizona.

When it comes time to actually vote on Ricketts' request for $300 million in state bonds, it will be interesting to see how the politicians respond. After all, many of them balked every time Tribune Co. even wanted to spend its own money to improve Wrigley.

If all else fails, Ricketts can raise bleacher-seat prices to $150 for 2012 and let the lemmings/suckers/fans foot the bill.
^

Thome to Ozzie: This bomb's for you!

^
The List

Three reasons why Minnesotans are happy they aren't Illinoisians these days:

3. While You Know Who is coming back to QB the Vikings, Jay Cutler is only a wannabe until he proves otherwise.

2. The Twins have Jim Thome. And, thanks to Ozzie Guillen's preference for bunters over bombers, the White Sox don't.

1. Minnesota's governor often is mentioned as the possible 2012 Republican nominee for the U.S. presidency. Illinois' last three governors: one jailed felon, one freshly convicted felon and one guy who is in so far over his head that his business card should have a picture of a shovel on it.

The Bald Truth

Well, at least Ozzie isn't stuck with that one-dimensional, lumbering lug Thome clogging up the basepaths and keeping Mark Kotsay from playing DH.

The Balder Truth

Jon Garland is still making Cubbie fans cringe. But hey, he's no Matt Karchner.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

As most of you know, I'm moving to North Carolina. I've been warned by a few locals there that some of their politicians are corrupt.

After nearly 16 years in Illinois, I could offer only this response:

"Some? Only some? Jeesh, what a bunch of lightweights!"

All Buehrle, all the time

^
The Bald Truth

A week after Illinois politicians celebrated Mark Buehrle Day, the White Sox opened a three-game set against the Angels on Tuesday night with the opening act of what they are calling Mark Buehrle Appreciation Series.

And here's the best news:

It's less than five months until the start of Mark Buehrle Appreciation Decade!

The Quote

"In B.P., I'm Reggie Jackson. In a game, I might be Janet Jackson." - Torii Hunter, injured Angels center fielder, when asked how he did in batting practice before Tuesday's game.

The Balder Truth

Not that I don't like hyperbole as much as the next guy, but I almost choked on my free press-box snack mix Tuesday when Jerry Reinsdorf told Dewayne Wise and White Sox fans everywhere that the center fielder's perfect-game-saving grab "might have been the most important catch in the history of baseball."

Oh, absolutely. I believe it won several World Series, integrated the sport and solved the steroid problem. What a catch!

The Quote II

"Game-winners are always nice. But most importantly, we bounced back from the defeat on Sunday against the Mets." - Scott Podsednik

After being the hero for the White Sox yet again, Pods can be forgiven for being a little confused.

I believe those were the Yankees who beat the Sox on Sunday. You know, New York's other team.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The first-place Tigers send new star pitcher Jarrod Washburn to the mound at home against the going-nowhere Orioles. Baltimore counters with Brian Matusz, who is making his MLB debut against the feared Detroit lineup.

Orioles 8, Tigers 2. Of course.

We may think we know but we don't ... and that's Reason No. 1 why sports is the only Reality TV worth watching.

Where's the doggone justice?

^

After being cruel to dogs, Michael Vick has to spend 21 months in jail and is generally regarded as one of the all-time scoundrels in the history of scoundrels.

Donte' Stallworth, meanwhile, received a 30-day sentence after getting drunk, getting behind the wheel of a car and killing a woman. Oh, and he only had to serve 24 days of the term!

Is it me, or is something very wrong with that picture?

Correction

In my previous post, I made a reference to Roland Burris not seeking re-election to the U.S. Senate. Burris, of course, never was elected in the first place. 

He was the lucky winner of Hot Rod Blago's Senate Sweepstakes ... and the other senators didn't have the stones to fight the appointment.

Management regrets the error, though not as much as management regrets that Illinois voters put a corrupt governor in position to choose an undeserving senator.

Run, Roland, Run!

^

The Bald Truth

U.S. Sen. Roland Burris (D-Flimflammer) saying he won't run for re-election is like me saying I won't run in the Chicago Marathon.

Except I'd have a better chance of winning.

Hey, I've been working out!

The Quote I

"It's the same thing every year: You go through your bad stretch and it's full-on panic. There's better things to come for those guys. They're gonna get hot and stay hot. They have too much talent over there not to." - ex-Cubbie Kerry Wood, talking about his former club.

If memory serves, Wood's 2004 and 2005 Cubs also had too much talent.

The Balder Truth

If Clayton Richard makes another start for the White Sox, it will be one start too many. In fact, it's already been about eight starts too many.

Why are Kenny Williams and Ozzie Guillen so afraid to give Aaron Poreda the ball and let him do his thing? 

Put him on a very tight pitch count, tell him to use extra ice after each start and read him a bedtime story every night ... but for cryin' out loud, put the kid in the rotation.

The Quote II

"I've been watching more TV at night. Just got done watching Rescue Me with Dennis Leary; that's really got me locked in." - Indians catcher Kelly Shoppach, after being asked what he was doing to try to get out of his season-long slump.

Great show, Rescue Me. It's another in a series of excellent FX series. Funnier than hell. But, I warn you, not for the kiddies. And that means you, Aaron Poreda!

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The Dallas Mavericks have assembled a new version of the Phoenix team that was never quite good enough to get to the NBA Finals.

Starring as Steve Nash is Jason Kidd, who is older than Nash and can't shoot.

Starring as Amare Stoudemire is Dirk Nowitzki, who is older than Amare and likes to hang out around the 3-point line.

And starring as Shawn Marion is the newest Mav, Shawn Marion, who is older than the old Marion and about 80 percent as effective.

Yes, Mark Cuban has built a Suns-ish team that is sure to go all the way ... to the second round.

If Dirk's hitting his 3's, anyway.