Baseball is batty about brooms

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The Bald Truth

MLB calls this a competitive postseason? I haven't seen so many sweeps since Lombardi was in his heyday.

An especially nice job - again - by the NL Central chumps. Since the Cardinals won the World Series in 2006, the Central champions are a combined 0-9 in the postseason. And don't let that 0-9 fool you; things weren't really all that close.

The Cardinals showed that one of the things we love most about sport - there simply are no guarantees - also serves as one of the most painful lessons.

An already decent St. Louis team did everything right, adding a star in Matt Holliday as well as solid role players Mark DeRosa, Julio Lugo and John Smoltz. And still ... bupkis! Swept by a Dodger group that stumbled into the playoffs having almost blown a huge division lead.

As former St. Louis pitcher/philosopher/poet Joaquin Andujar famously said:

"There is one word in America that says it all, and that one word is, 'You never know.'"

Pretty surprising the way the Angels took care of the Red Sox, too. Though the result isn't so surprising when we see that Kevin Youkilis, Jason Bay and David Ortiz combined to go 3-for-32, Josh Beckett was roughed up and Jonathan Papelbon had a 13.50 ERA.

Way to channel your inner Cub, boys.

Finally, there were the Yankees closing down the Metrodome in style. Cool that the underdogs from New York could prevail over the mighty Twinkies.

At least now Minnesotans can concentrate on important things: Brett Favre, Gopher hockey and ice fishing.

And Speaking Of Ice Fishing ...

Whoever stole autumn, give it back this instant!

The Balder Truth

Brilliant of the golf overlords to stage the Presidents Cup during the baseball postseason, the football and hockey seasons and the NBA preseason.

I don't know about you, but I didn't watch even one second of the thing ... and I love golf.

The real shame is that even after a dominant 5-0 showing, one U.S. golfer remains a complete unknown.

Here's hoping this doesn't scar that Woods kid for life.

The Quote

"Obviously, this is a low point for the organization and the fan base. This is not where we expected to be right now." - Bills GM Russ Brandon

Brandon, talking after his team lost 6-3 at home to the previously winless Browns, had been asked about coach Dick Jauron's job status.

Reports said Brandon declined to comment about Jauron. Really? Read that quote again. The GM said all he needed to say.

As an NFL coach, Dick Jauron is a nice guy and a decent defensive coordinator.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

I spent most of my weekend in Madison, where the missus and I rocked and rolled with our favorite band, Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers.

Clyne is best known for penning the King of the Hill theme song and the official Diamondbacks' anthem D-backs Swing. However, music insiders - and the group's legion of loyal fans - know him as a charismatic frontman and prolific producer of superior music.

If you want to learn more about a true rock original - and you should! - you owe it to yourself to check out THIS WEB SITE.

Here's to life!

Remembering John Hughes, John Smoltz and Steven Tyler

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The List

My five favorite films written, directed and/or produced by John Hughes, who died Thursday after suffering a heart attack at age 59:

5. Home Alone. Just because Macaulay Culkin has become the butt of jokes, it doesn't mean this flick wasn't a blast. Sadly, this 1990 film was the last really good one Hughes made.

4. The Breakfast Club. From the script to the cast to the message, this was the best of the '80s Molly Ringwald trilogy. (Although I admit it: I laughed more at Sixteen Candles.)

3. Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In addition to giving a generation of teenagers fresh ideas on how to play hooky, this turned Matthew Broderick into a major star. Of course, it also turned him into Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago.

2. National Lampoon's Vacation. Hughes wrote the perfect screenplay for Chevy Chase, whose Clark Griswold is one of the funniest screen dads ever. Watch this again and, as Clark would say, "You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-dah out your a--holes!"

1. Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Often overlooked on those "greatest comedy ever" lists that come out every year or two, this John Candy-Steve Martin buddy farce produced more laughs per minute than just about anything out there. I especially loved that Martin, who by 1987 pretty much had stopped being funny, was cast as the straight man for Candy, who was never funnier. As a result, Martin actually was funny again. Just because Hughes was known for his many coming-of-age flicks, it doesn't mean this film about and for grown-ups (OK, very immature grown-ups like me) wasn't numero uno. Three words sum it all up, folks: "Those aren't pillows!"

The Bald Truth

If John Smoltz is supposed to be the answer for the Red Sox, the question must be:

What future Hall of Famer with an 8.33 ERA should retire already?

The Balder Truth

I'm not sure the best plan is to put more money into the Cash For Clunkers program.

But really, enough about Milton Bradley and Barry Zito ...

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler got hurt falling from a stage during a concert in South Dakota.

Jeesh. As if falling so far that one has to play a concert in South Dakota isn't painful enough.