Cra-Z good (this time)

^
I kid Carlos Zambrano because he's so goofy, but I've never claimed the man can't pitch.

As he proved again in his latest start - a 2-1 Cubbie win over the Reds in which he was spectacular on the mound and helped his cause with a home run - there are very few pitchers in the world with more talent.

And there's the rub with Cra-Z. If he simply would channel his abilities, emotions, desire and competitiveness into every performance, he would be one of the five best in the majors. A 20-game winner. A sub-3-ERA guy. The works.

He can't, though, which is what makes him who he is: a supremely talented goofball and an easy target for hacks like me.

For that, I guess I should thank him.

From Cra-Z to delusional Sammy

^
The Bald Truth

Word is, Cra-Z Zambrano missed the Cubs' flight to Atlanta because he couldn't afford the CTA fare to O'Hare.

Hey, it went up by a whole quarter not too long ago!

The Balder Truth

Nice job by the White Sox bringing up ballyhooed infield prospect Gordon Beckham.

It was time to dump Wilson Betemit (The Impediment) and to dial back the playing time of Whiffmeister Josh Fields.

The Sox could have gotten away with saying that their 2008 No. 1 draft pick needed "more seasoning" in the minors - which would have been a good way to delay his eventual big-bucks earning potential.

But they are trying to win now ... and really, is there any way Beckham can do any worse than Fields and Betemit?

Not as long as he doesn't wear a blindfold to the batter's box and oven mitts when taking the field.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Gotta love this nugget from ESPNdeportes.com: Sammy Sosa says he soon will announce his retirement. He also told the Web site he won't allow his legacy to be tainted by all those who say he used steroids.

"Everything I achieved, I did it thanks to my perseverance, which is why I never had any long, difficult moments. I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Don't I have the numbers to be inducted?"

So many reactions, so little time ...

1. Sammy isn't already retired?

2. If Sammy actually used "perseverance" correctly in a sentence - be it a Spanish sentence, an English sentence or a Hebrew sentence - I'll pay Cra-Z's next "el" fare.

3. Sure ... no long, difficult moments at all for Sammy. Unless one counts a week-long suspension for using a corked bat, a trip to the DL after a sneeze-enduced back ailment, permanent banishment from Cubbieland - and corresponding boom-box destruction - after his premature departure from Wrigley Field during the 2004 season finale, numerous strikeout-filled batting slumps, etc., etc., etc.

4. Yes, Sammy certainly has Hall-worthy numbers. And he might want to call his "buddy," Mark McGwire, to chat about exactly what those numbers are worth to cynical, juicer-denying Hall voters.

5. Here's hoping Sammy enjoys his calm wait. His long, calm wait. His 20-year long and ultimately unfulfilling, calm wait. He just might want to accept his invitation into the Corking Hall of Fame, because that's about the only one that figures to come a-callin'.

Chillin' with the missus, rippin' LeBron The Loser and diggin' Dwight

^
The Bald Truth

Hopefully, a few readers noticed that I hadn't posted for a few days.

For those who are worried sick about me, no need. I didn't accidentally watch 5 seconds of Around the Horn, lose my mind and get hauled away to the funny farm.

No, it's just that my wife is taking a little vacation time and we've been chillin' together.

Really, though ... instead of taking time off from the one job she has, shouldn't she be working a second job so she can support my golf habit?

Jeesh, some people are so selfish.

Anyway, after I'm done with this post, I will be back in a day or three, so keep checking. As always, I appreciate everyone's loyalty.

The Quote

"It’s not being a poor sport or anything like that." - LeBron James, a day after refusing to shake hands with Dwight Howard and the rest of the Orlando Magic.

Well yes, Bron-Bron, it is being a poor sport.

And a jerk.

And a clown.

And a sore loser.

And a self-serving douchebag.

And I could go on ... but do I really need to?

I just wonder what LeBron would have said had Howard done the same to him.

The Balder Truth

Loved that the NHL played Games 1 and 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals on consecutive nights in Detroit. It's a reminder of the good old days when every league didn't feel compelled to drag out every postseason series for weeks on end.

Not sure the Penguins were as happy about it, though I'm guessing the Red Wings would be up 2-0 even if the league had waited until September for Game 2.

The Question

Is it just me or has David Ortiz gone from age 33 to age 48 in the span of two months?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Some media mopes actually are criticizing Dwight Howard for only being able to dunk on the offensive end.

These are probably the same idiots who said as much about Shaq 15 years and four NBA championships ago.

Look, if Howard is "only" able to dunk 10, 15, 20 times in a game, that's a good thing. Besides, he does help the Magic on offense even if he's not dunking. To name three ways: He's a great offensive rebounder; he helps Orlando's many fine outside shooters by drawing the defense to him; and he gets the opposing center in foul trouble.

It would be cool to see Howard win the NBA title because he has the right attitude: Play as hard as he can and as well as he can every minute he's on the court but otherwise realize that it is just a game. I can't remember any recent pro basketball player enjoying the game more. Such perspective is sorely lacking (see: James, LeBron).

Even though Howard and a few of other Magicals will create matchup problems for the Lakers, however, I can't pick Orlando to win this series.

The Lakers have too much experience, too much good coaching, too much talent, too much skill coming off the bench and, especially, too much Kobe Bryant.

Way, way, way too much Jack Nicholson, as well, but I won't hold that against them.

Lakers in 6.

If Lou explodes, he might not survive

^

One of the best baseball writers out there, Yahoo's Jeff Passan, theorized this week (READ IT) that the Cubs won't be right until Lou Piniella has one of his patented explosions.

As much as I respect Jeff - and as much as I always enjoy a column that makes readers (and fellow writers) react - come on!

Between Cra-Z Zambrano, M-80 Bradley, Terrible Ted Lilly and Rambo Dempster, the Cubs have more exploding parts than a box full of land mines.

Do the Cubs really need their manager to orchestrate some kind of just-for-show meltdown that everybody - players included - would see as phony?

Not to mention the fact that, at 65, Lou probably would do more harm to himself than anything else. 

I could see him throwing his back out trying to rip out a base or delivering his pasta baby right on the field after bumping bellies with an umpire or giving himself a heart attack going all Dibble on a Cubbie reliever. 

As Piniella said, he needs to be the calm one. He then said he was kidding. But he really wasn't.

The Cubs don't need Lou Gone Wild. They need Terrible Ted to pitch the way he did Friday in beating the Dodgers. And they need M-80 to get the kind of big hits he did a couple times last week. And they need Cra-Z and Rambo to break opposing bats as skillfully as they break Gatorade dispensers.

Explosive Lou? That's so 2007 (and, actually, much earlier). Ever so slowly - again, the man is 65! - he has moved past that.

Chicago has a winner, and it's the team that just lost

^

Not the Bears, even with The Great Jay Cutler playing all 22 positions, making field goals, punting, returning kicks and refreshing the water jugs. He's gonna do all that, right?

Not the Bulls, with no inside presence, no go-to guy, no defensive stopper ... and a salary-cap situation that will keep things that way.

Not the White Sox, whose best players are getting old and whose young players aren't good enough.

Not the Cubs because ... do we really have to say it? They're the freakin' Cubs!

The Blackhawks, my friends.

If any Chicago team is to win a championship within the next decade, that team will have to be the Blackhawks.

Their season is over, but what a season it was. They finished second in their division to the great Red Wings, won two playoff rounds, stole a series from a team that had home-ice advantage, took the defending champs into OT three times in five games and on Wednesday almost staved off elimination on Detroit ice despite missing their goalie and top scorer.

Along the way, they made a town that once loved hockey start to fall in love all over again.

Unlike the Bears of '01 and '06, there wasn't a smoke-and-mirrors feel to this Blackhawks team. Unlike the Cubs of '07 and '08, the young Hawks quickly figured out how to win in the playoffs. Unlike the Baby Bulls of recent vintage, these Blackhawks aren't faux contenders. 

So can they grow up to be like the White Sox of '05? Well, sure. Why not?

The Blackhawks need to re-sign Nikolai Khabibulin. That Cristobal Huet played well Wednesday might make more teams interested in trading for Huet (and his salary), thus freeing up money to keep the superior goalie in net. They need another defense-first, kick-butt defenseman. They need a faceoff specialist or two.

Mostly, though, the Blackhawks just need more experience. They already have a ton of talent, most of it younger than 25. These kids aren't flukes.

Oh, there is one more thing: 

They need to be a little bigger, a little stronger, a little tougher, a little meaner and, well, a little crazier. Teams need to fear them more. I'm not talking about goons, because fighting is idiotic. I'm talking about intimidation and temperament. Just call it a you-really-don't-want-to- bleep-with-us attitude.

Hey, since we've already re-established that the Cubs are the Cubs and therefore have no chance in this or any century, wouldn't Cra-Z Zambrano and M-Bomb Bradley look good in Indian Head sweaters?

This judge plays hardball

^

The Bald Truth

Fourteen years ago, a wise federal judge named Sonia Sotomayor wouldn't let Bud Selig, Jerry Reinsdorf and the rest of the grinches who tried to steal baseball use replacement players to start the 1995 season.

Say this for Barack Obama's first Supreme Court nominee: She has displayed concern for the greater good, and she can't be bullied by the whiny, rich yahoos in the old boys' network.

The Balder Truth

Anquan Boldin is firing his agent, Drew Rosenhaus.

Word is, Boldin simply wouldn't do situps in his driveway.

Said Rosenhaus: "Next question!"

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Heads are about to roll in the NBA, where far too many people apparently didn't get David Stern's Kobe-and-LeBron-in-the-Finals memo.

Magic vs. Nuggets, anybody?

I mean, is it possible for a series to generate negative TV ratings?

Lou snooze, Lou lose

^

I like Lou Piniella as a person and consider him a good manager. Still, I have to wonder a little bit about the Cubbies' senior citizen skipper after a game like Monday's 10-8 loss to the sad-sack Pirates.

Fifth Inning:

After Micah Hoffpauir drew a leadoff walk, Ryan Freel bunted him to second. Why? 

Why sacrifice an out there, with No. 8 hitter Aaron Miles - whose bat is DOA every time he steps to the plate - on deck? And then, why let reliever Jose Ascanio bat for himself, especially when Lou planned on taking Ascanio out of the game immediately for another reliever, Neal Cotts?

Yes, Freel is even batting Calista Flockhart's weight. But he has been a tough out over the years; maybe he'd accidentally get a hit.

And why not use one of the available position players - Kosuke Fukudome, Mike Fontenot or Koyie Hill to pinch-hit for Ascanio? Sure, none of those guys is hitting a lick, but Ascanio had struck out in his only career plate appearance. Lou hesitated for about a minute before sending Ascanio to the plate ... and then decided the inning wasn't worth trying to salvage.

 

By the way, Miles struck out, Ascanio popped out and Cotts gave up three runs in the sixth to blow the game. 

Bad ... badder ... baddest.

Seventh Inning:

With the Cubs now losing 10-7, Reed Johnson and Geovany Soto drew walks to start a possible comeback. After Hoffpauir grounded into a double play, Freel singled home Johnson. Miles somehow managed a soft hit, putting runners on first and second with the pitcher's spot coming to the plate. A single would draw the Cubs within a run, a double probably would tie it, a homer would give them the lead.

A right-hander was on the mound for Pittsburgh, so Lou finally would turn to one of his left-handed pinch-hitters - Fukudome, Fontenot or Hill - right? 

Wrong. Carlos Freakin' Zambrano. Who struck out on a wild swing. 

Amazing.

And the Cubs - with their $135 million payroll, their back-to-back division titles and their great expectations - are 21-22.

Most of the team's woes are the players' fault. Some blame goes to ownership; the state of flux is hurting personnel decisions. Jim Hendry isn't without fault. Bad luck, injuries and pressure have played roles, too. 

But Monday night, the manager had several chances to do something that might have made a difference. 

He went 0-fer. The losing streak is eight.

(Here's the story I wrote Monday for AP.)

The Quote

"We cannot be perfect. But I hope whatever happened last week doesn't happen again. We didn't hit. We didn't win. We got swept twice. I hope that doesn't happen again. If it happens again, it would be ugly." - Alfonso Soriano

You mean, scoring five runs during a winless six-game road trip wasn't ugly enough?

The Quote II

"We play one week like we're a champion. And one week we play like the worst team in the league." - Soriano

And then you blow a lead, give up 18 hits to the Pirates and get booed by your own fans. So at least you're good at finding new lows. 

The Quote III

"Every team has a bad week or a bad month." - Soriano

Or a bad century.

Going on two.

Sorry, Fonzie, but that was too damn easy.

A day Chicago sports fans would rather trade

^

The Bald Truth

According to sources close to other sources who once walked past still other sources on the way into an O'Hare men's room, the Cubs and White Sox agreed to terms of a Derrek Lee for Paul Konerko deal ... but each player invoked the no-trade clause in his contract.

Seems D-Lee and Paulie only want to play for contenders.

The Balder Truth

The Cubs scored 5 runs - total - in going 0-6 on their St. Louis-San Diego road trip. The White Sox blew a ninth-inning lead to Pittsburgh just three days after losing by 19 runs to the Twins. When I got to my car Sunday morning, I was greeted by a bright orange parking ticket; paying it will cost me approximately what I made working as a freelancer at the Sox game.

Still, all of us mentioned in that paragraph had a better day than the Blackhawks did.

I recorded the Hawks-Wings game on my DVR but decided not to watch it after I heard the score. Seeing the lowlights turned out to be plenty.

Methinks the Blackhawks were so distracted by their quest for retribution for Niklas Kronwall's Game 3 hit on Martin Havlat that they forgot they were supposed to actually be playing hockey.

Dopes.

As a four-decade hockey observer who roots for neither the Hawks nor the Wings, I've seen Kronwell's hit about 50 times ... and I am convinced it was devastating but absolutely legal. 

That realization makes me more ready to play hockey than the Blackhawks were.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

On the positive side for Chicagoans, Jay Cutler is at least three months away from hearing his first boos at Soldier Field.

Oh, does Peavy pitch, too?

^

The Bald Truth

The obvious story line from Friday's Cubs-Padres game was that Jake Peavy showed the Cubs just what they were missing.

Yeah ... he got a hit and scored a run.

The Question

OK, who stole the Cardinals' starting pitchers and replaced them with the 1970 Orioles' rotation?

The Baldest Truth

If you're like me, you're shocked - shocked! - to see Rich Harden go on the DL.

He's batting .200, so the Cubs desperately will miss him. 

The Quote

"That's just a great shot, man." - LeBron James, on TNT, describing his buzzer-beating Game 2 winner.

That's just great humility, too.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

The Cavs blew a 23-point lead but won anyway to save themselves from almost certain doom.

The Blackhawks blew a three-goal lead but won anyway to save themselves from almost certain doom.

The Nationals, as usual, simply blew. They faced certain doom before pitchers and catchers reported.

And now we send it to Stormy Mist for the weather ...

Rough day for Peav-ed off White Sox

^

The Bald Truth

Jake Peavy, who allegedly was so in love with the idea of pitching on Chicago's North Side that he was heard singing "Go Cubs Go" when he thought he was traded to the Cubbies in December, told the White Sox on Thursday that he had absolutely no interest in being a South Sider.

That's more than your standard, garden-variety rejection, boys. That's like getting told you're too ugly to date Roseanne Barr.  

I mean the only way Thursday could have gone any worse for the White Sox would have been if ... I don't know ... they also lost at home to the hated Twinkies by a ridiculous score like 20-1 or something.

Thankfully, at least nothing like that happened.

Thinking Positive

As bad as the White Sox were against the Twins, they still scored only one fewer run Thursday than the Cubs scored in their entire series against the Cardinals.

Riddle Me This

Q: What do the following ballplayers have in common?

Alfns Srian.

Ryan Therit.

Miltn Bradley.

Gevany St.

Mike Fntent.

Aarn Miles.

Reed Jhnsn.

Ksuke Fukudme.

A: They all play for the Chicag Cubs: the team with absolutely no O.

Get it? No O! 

You don't get that kind of hilarity at espn.com, kids.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Really, can you blame Jake Peavy?

Why would he want to leave the most pitcher-friendly ballpark in baseball to go to the homer haven that is U.S. Comiskular Park?

Why would he want to leave the NL, where he gets to face the pitcher every third inning - not to mention the weak No. 7 and 8 batters on most teams - to pitch against stacked AL lineups that include designated hitters?

He already has all the money he needs. Plus, he knows that if he waits long enough, the crying-poor Padres will be forced to trade him to one of the NL clubs on his preferred list. He is in control.

So why would Peavy agree to join a team that suddenly looks like a non-contender this season, a team that will be be dumping payroll in the offseason?

The big surprise wasn't that Kenny Williams made a valiant effort at landing the best pitcher on the market. This is the guy who has boldly traded for one big-name pitcher after another during his nine years as Sox GM.

David Wells, Todd Ritchie, Billy Koch, Bartolo Colon, Freddy Garcia, Jose Contreras, Javier Vazquez.

Yes, some of those blockbusters ended up being clunkers. But two - the deals for Garcia and Contreras - made the city's only championship of the last nine decades possible. 

Williams has vision and moxie and imagination. Oh, and cajones the size of cantaloupes.

No, the big surprise was that he actually thought Peavy would agree to the deal.

But hey, it was worth a try. As the lottery folks keep telling us, you can't win if you don't play.