Friday, May 29, 2009

If Lou explodes, he might not survive

One of the best baseball writers out there, Yahoo's Jeff Passan, theorized this week (READ IT) that the Cubs won't be right until Lou Piniella has one of his patented explosions.

As much as I respect Jeff - and as much as I always enjoy a column that makes readers (and fellow writers) react - come on!

Between Cra-Z Zambrano, M-80 Bradley, Terrible Ted Lilly and Rambo Dempster, the Cubs have more exploding parts than a box full of land mines.

Do the Cubs really need their manager to orchestrate some kind of just-for-show meltdown that everybody - players included - would see as phony?

Not to mention the fact that, at 65, Lou probably would do more harm to himself than anything else. 

I could see him throwing his back out trying to rip out a base or delivering his pasta baby right on the field after bumping bellies with an umpire or giving himself a heart attack going all Dibble on a Cubbie reliever. 

As Piniella said, he needs to be the calm one. He then said he was kidding. But he really wasn't.

The Cubs don't need Lou Gone Wild. They need Terrible Ted to pitch the way he did Friday in beating the Dodgers. And they need M-80 to get the kind of big hits he did a couple times last week. And they need Cra-Z and Rambo to break opposing bats as skillfully as they break Gatorade dispensers.

Explosive Lou? That's so 2007 (and, actually, much earlier). Ever so slowly - again, the man is 65! - he has moved past that.

1 comment:

  1. you need to write a gatorade commercial...i bet they would buy it i bet.

    pretty funny