Thursday, May 7, 2009

Manny Being Flimflammy

The Bald Truth

Manny Ramirez suspended? I blame it all on A-Roid's cousin.

Ozzie Being Ozzie

"He should apologize to his wife. Seven million dollars? My wife would kill me."

The Balder Truth

You know the news on Ramirez news is big when it knocks the latest breathless Brett Favre update - he's staying retired ... for today, anyway - to after the first commercial on SportsCenter.

Ozzie Being Ozzie II

"It depends on how you look at the word 'cheating.' Cheating is when you get caught."


Well, folks, I'm shocked - Shocked! - that a superstar slugger producing big numbers in what should be the twilight of his career tested positive for a banned substance.

Shocked! Stunned! Flabbergasted! Flummoxed!

I mean, who would have guessed that one of our noble, athletic heroes ever would cheat?

But hey, at last Manny had a valid excuse: His dog ate the list of banned substances.

Any sucker who believes any of these flimflam artists - or their flimflammier agents - deserves to feel betrayed when the truth comes out.

Of course, that assumes that any fan actually gives a rat's rear about any of this any more.

Frankly, I'm numb to it by now, and I'm guessing you are, too.

1 comment:

  1. yah but our whole attitude towards drugs is rediculous...go to your "medicine cabinet" and look in. think about the trillions of $$$ that we have spent in the last 30 years on "the war on drugs"..mainly marijuana which should have been legalized years ago..i am not numb i am disinterested because it is so dumb...

    if sports wants to level the playing might start with the barbarity that is greyhounds, horses and boxers...then move on to the little kids sports played by grown men...the whole thing is kinda disturbing..