The Bald Truth
Just when I didn't think Ozzie Guillen could be any wackier, the White Sox skipper pulled off a stunt I never had seen before:
He complained about a strike called by the umpire ... with his own pitcher on the mound.
Just minutes after Jermaine Dye was ejected for arguing a bases-loaded Strike 3 call Wednesday, Guillen could be seen jawing with ump Mike DiMuro. Reading Ozzie's lips, I thought I saw him complaining that Mark Buehrle's pitch to Cleveland's Jhonny Peralta was low - and Ozzie later confirmed it.
"I asked Peralta if that pitch was low and in, and he said yes," Guillen told reporters after his team's 4-0 loss. "They thought I was crazy because I wasn't protecting J.D., I was protecting the opposition. I was gonna send the message that ... I was here to protect baseball."
Actually, I think "crazy" just about covers it, Ozzie.
The Balder Truth
Yahoo Sports is reporting that USC hoops coach Tim Floyd paid off the guy who delivered O.J. Mayo to the school.
If true, failing to adequately cover up these shenanigans will be Floyd's stupidest move since he had Kornel "The Hungarian Jordan" David playing at crunch time of Bulls games.
THE BALDEST TRUTH
Here in Chicago, we've have the Unholy Trinity: A corrupt governor's office, a corrupt mayor's office and a corrupt county government. While everybody likes to talk about Blago and Hizzoner Daley The Younger, Cook County Board President Todd Stroger might be the unfairest of 'em all.
After running for election on a reform platform - don't they all? - Stroger has proceeded to spend like a drunk Illinois politician. Expanding the county government to immense proportions - think a Bartolo Colon-Roseanne Barr love child - he has spent and spent and spent and spent.
He spent so much that he realized the only way he could pay for all the spending was by raising the county's portion of the sales tax, giving Chicago the highest such tariff in the nation: a laughable-if-it-wasn't-so-sad 10.25 percent.
With elections approaching, several county board commissioners regretted what they did and tried to repeal the tax, but Stroger vetoed the repeal.
Mr. Reformer isn't in the reforming mood.
But that's not the best part. This is: Stronger owes the United States nearly $12,000 in unpaid income taxes.
So, even as he demands that poor people (and others) fund his bloated government with a regressive tax that ranks No. 1 in the nation, he opts to ignore his own taxes until the feds catch him.
Talk about high aspirations: Stroger must be angling for a spot in President Obama's cabinet.
This is what we Chicagoans face every day, folks. Two consecutive crooked governors (both "reformers," don't you know), a mayor who values taking care of his cronies above all else and Todd "Tax Me? Tax You!" Stroger.
Of course, nobody is holding a gun to our heads to stay here, right? And the majority of our citizens keep re-electing these clowns.
Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us a gajillion times ... and we'll line up for a gajillion more opportunities to prove what fools we are.