Thursday, March 29, 2012

We know what the S in "U.S.A.!" doesn't stand for

The U.S. soccer team failed to qualify for this summer's Olympics, and you know what that means:

There goes another Olympic sport that we don't get to pretend we care about just because an American team is competing! Damn.

When I was a teenager growing up in Connecticut, the New York Cosmos signed Pele and several other international stars. For a year or two, the Cosmos sold out games at huge stadiums all around the country and garnered high TV ratings.

Soccerheads predicted that the Cosmos phenomenon, coupled with the rapid growth of youth soccer, would propel that sport past baseball, football and basketball on the national stage.

Even though Americans prefer games in which 2-0 isn't considered high-scoring, soccerheads back then were sure that by the turn of the century -- maybe sooner -- their beloved sport would be the new national pastime.

All I have to say about that now is ...

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!


  1. soccer is at least as boring as baseball can be...i just find it very difficult to watch a whole sports game these days no matter what it is...and if you consider car racing a sport...nascar is definitely out...

  2. I do not.

    Lotsa left turns, not many teeth.

    If Nascar is a sport, so is driving in Chicago at rush hour.

  3. Soccer is a great sport.

    For kids and for hooligans.

    Certainly not for self-respecting American males!!!