Pitino? A slimeball? Who woulda thunk it?

^

The Bald Truth

Good for Louisville, standing by their man.

Yes, Rick Pitino is a hypocrite, a devout Catholic who more than coveted his neighbor's ass. Yes, he's a scuzball and a weasel and a liar - traits he shares with most big-time college coaches ... and, sadly, with most members of the human male population.

Believe me, I'm not excusing his behavior. All I'm asking is: What is Louisville supposed to do? Fire him?

Ridiculous.

Pitino is a basketball coach, and a damn good one. Louisville is not a religious institution, it's a basketball factory.

Pitino didn't get caught cheating to get a kid into school who didn't belong there (notice I said "didn't get caught"). He got caught cheating on his wife.

I wouldn't blame her for firing him. It would be silly and disingenuous for Louisville to do likewise.

The Numbers

35-18 ... Amount the Cubs have been outscored since Lou Piniella got the heave-ho for arguing with the umps Sunday in Colorado. (And most of the Cubs' runs were of the meaningless, end-of-blowout variety.)

0-4 ... Cubs' record since Lou got tossed.

3 ... Games the Cubs dropped to St. Louis in the standings since Lou got ejected.

Jeesh. Imagine what would have happened had the manager not fired up his troops!

The Balder Truth

Going out on the limb to say that the Cardinals will be mighty tough to beat if Matt Holliday, batting behind Albert Pujols, keeps hitting .486.

That, kiddies, is what's called an impact trade.

Game Improvement

The first time I played Beverly Country Club was in 1999. That was so long ago, my playing partner at the media event was Skip Bayless, who has gone on to do a few other notable things since he bolted from the Chicago Tribune.

The thing I remember most about that round: I played so poorly that, on the way home, I called the golf pro I know and told him I needed a lesson immediately.

I wouldn't say I was scarred for life, but if anyone asked me to name the toughest course I ever played, I answered "Beverly Country Club" without hesitation. (Bayless, a much better player than me, had a brutal time of it, too.)

Score? Please. I stopped writing it down after two holes. To be kind, I'll call it 140. I lost the dozen balls I brought with me, the sleeve of balls I was given for the event and several more golf balls I had found during the day while hunting for those I had lost.

My standard line: "There are something like 8,000 trees there, and I was behind every one of them."

Well, I'm pleased to say that they've cut down a lot of those trees to make the course more beautiful and more playable for their members. Those who compete in the USGA Senior Amateur there next month will find a stern but fair test of golf.

I got to revisit Beverly on Wednesday. This time, I shot a 101. As usual, I rarely strung two consecutive good shots together. I Watsoned an 8-foot birdie putt on my next-to-last hole and then, needing only a bogey on the last for a 99, I choked my way to a triple.

For the most part, though, my game at least vaguely resembled golf.

Oh, and I played the entire round with the same ball, which sometimes doesn't happen even when I'm mini-golfing.

So I can't wait to return to Beverly in 10 years. If my math is correct, I'm pretty much guaranteed to shoot 62.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

And speaking of golf ...

Yes, Tiger Woods has won two straight tournaments and seems to be rounding into championship form. I'll still take the field in this weekend's PGA Championship at Hazeltine.

OK, if I have to pick a name other than Eldrick, I'll go with ...

Steve Stricker to drop off the short list of greatest players never to have won a major.