Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I'll see your 2 Twinkies and raise you 10 Doritos

The Bald Truth

An Illinois legislative committee has voted to let doctors prescribe medicinal marijuana. Patients with a note from their physicians would be allowed to have as many as seven pot plants and 2 ounces of "usable cannabis" in their homes. 

If passed into law, expect millions of frat boys, hundreds of NBA players and Ricky Williams to establish permanent residency in Illinois.

The Balder Truth

Financial meltdown ... unending war in the Middle East ... no college football playoff  ... 

Just when you thought the only news was bad news, here's something truly uplifting:

Manny Ramirez has signed on with the Dodgers to keep Manny being Manny in La-La-Land for at least another year. And Kurt Warner has signed on with the Arizona Cardinals to keep Matt Leinart on the bench for at least another year.

Thank goodness! For a while there, life didn't even seem worth living.


And now, a finalist for the Stupidest Sports Debate of the Decade ...

Shaq O'Neal and Dwight Howard are arguing about which of them is most like Superman.

Tell you what, lads: Jump off the top of the Sears Tower - and whoever flies wins.

It will make for the greatest (and shortest) reality TV show ever.

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