Over and out for the Cain Train

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It was fun while it lasted but it's officially over for Mr. 9-9-9.

No, Herman Cain has not announced yet that he's ending his never-had-a-chance bid for the GOP presidential nomination, but he has said this:

"It ain't over till it's over."

Which, of course, is the death knell.

Ever since Yogi Berra said that (or at least was reputed to have said that), a zillion other underdogs have uttered that mumbo-jumbo.

Alas, a zillion out of a zillion times, there was no comeback.

Good rule of thumb: As soon as somebody says "It ain't over till it's over," you know for certain that it's over.

Herman was good for a laugh, but he can now return to reality. Which, he might tell you, is nowhere near Libya.

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Herman Cain, we hardly knew ye

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So I'm reading the McClatchy Newspapers account of Tuesday's GOP debate -- the 406th of 874 scheduled debates, I believe. And I'm reading about the foreign policy opinions of Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul and Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann and Jon Huntsman. And then I get to the final paragraph:

Businessman Herman Cain and former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum also took part in the debate.

Kind of reminds me of the time I flew from Oslo, Norway to Goteborg, Sweden on a small prop plane with members of the 1994 U.S. Olympic hockey team. The player in the seat next to me was sweating out the bumpy ride when I turned to him and said: "At least people will cry about the loss of you and your teammates. The newspapers won't even mention me until the final paragraph: 'Also perishing was a sportswriter from Minnesota.'"

Yes, Mr. 9-9-9 has reached that level of insignificance. It takes a special kind of incompetence to fail so miserably in that field of knuckleheads.

Oh, and speaking of turkeys ... tune back in tomorrow for my annual Turkey of the Year countdown. More fun than a trip to Plymouth Rock!

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Today's High Five - Lockouts and Lions and Bears, oh my!

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5. Now that's the Albert Pujols I remember.

4. How embarrassing for Jerry Angelo. The Bears GM makes Jay Cutler the centerpiece of his offense and then surrounds the QB with so many bad players Cutler doesn't stand a chance.

The Bears have had one of the league's worst offensive lines for years -- and this might be their saddest group of matadors yet. And if you google "mediocre receiving corps," the first 10 pages are about the Bears. (OK, that's hyperbole. Only the first 9 pages are about the Bears.)

Equally embarrassing: Offensive mastermind Mike Martz has absolutely no clue how to craft plays that actually might give Cutler a chance.

You know, if Cutler wasn't so unlikeable, I'd feel sorry for the guy.

3. It's mid-October. The Lions are undefeated. What are you gonna tell me next? That a black guy is one of the leading GOP presidential candidates?

2. All the great black and Latino personalities involved in baseball, and TBS honchos can't find a single one of them to put on their pre- and post-game show?

1. Unable to come reach a new collective bargaining agreement with its players, the NBA canceled the first two weeks of the season. Tens of fans howled in protest.

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