Monday, March 7, 2011

LeBron's tears, Bo's jeers and a Tea-Bagger's Marquette "career"

Several Heat players were crying in the locker room after Sunday's home loss to the Bulls.

Sources say LeBron and Dwyane handed each of the weepers a hundy to dry their eyes.

In other basketball news, kudos to the marketing folks at The Ohio State University for their brutally brilliant response to Bo Ryan's unapologetic suggestion that Buckeyes star Jared Sullinger just "deal with it" after Wisconsin fans supposedly spat on him last month.

Before Sunday's rematch in Columbus, some 1,400 students were given red towels emblazoned with the phrase DEAL WITH IT. Sullinger and the Buckeyes then dealt with the Badgers, rolling to a lopsided win to wrap up a 29-2 regular season and Big Ten title.

Word is, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker was so impressed that he ordered 50,000 of the towels to give to teachers in his state.

A day earlier -- the same day that my beloved Golden Warrior Eagles fell apart in a must-win game at Seton Hall -- I learned that Walker was a fellow Marquette alumnus. I was pretty depressed until just a little research revealed that the Tea Party darling isn't really a fellow MU alum at all. See, to be an alum, one must have graduated.

When Walker dropped out after three-plus years, he was nowhere near getting his degree. Seems he had flunked and/or dropped too many classes. He simply couldn't hack it.

Amazing. I pretty much drank non-stop for four years and still got a Marquette degree -- and then landed employment in my chosen profession despite a job market statistically worse than the current mess Walker has helped foster.

Hell, even Chris Farley managed to get a degree at Marquette, and he was stoned approximately 23 hours a day.

Yep, leave it to a college dropout to try to torpedo teachers. The world's a crazy place, no?


  1. The wit in this entry can draw blood! Keep the axe sharp, please!