Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A-Roid's really stupid if he thinks we believe him

^
The Bald Truth

Nicely done, Alex Rodriguez: The Young and Stupid Defense

At his first press conference since being nailed for being a needle-in-the-keister juicer, A-Roid applied that defense to any question he didn't feel like answering. 

It was kind of like listening to a drunk driver saying he didn't know what he was doing because, well, he was drunk. 

Of course, unlike the Billion-Dollar Ballplayer, the drunk driver is punished for his crime.

The Quote I

"I didn't think we were taking steroids. That's again part of being young and stupid. It was over the counter. All these years, I never thought I did anything wrong."

Perfect. That explains why A-Roid kept his juicing secret "all these years" and repeatedly lied whenever asked about it.

The Balder Truth

Really, Alex? It was your unnamed "cousin" who got you the crap and shot you up with it? 

That's splendid. And when I was 12, I had a beautiful girlfriend who lived in California.

And really? A-Roid didn't know if he was taking drugs properly or if they were benefiting him at all, but he kept doing it for three years as he piled up the stats and the money?

This guy's a pistol.

The Quote II

"I knew we weren't taking Tic Tacs."

Yeah, I thought I was shooting up Altoids. That's how young and stupid I was.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

During his press conference, A-Roid said nothing to make us believe his claim that he didn't start juicing until 2001. Nor should any intelligent observer accept his assertion that he hasn't taken HGH or other hard-to-detect performance enhancers since he saw the light in 2003.

Hey, I'm not outraged by anything A-Roid says or does. (Or, for that matter, anything the hundreds of other juicers this last quarter-century have said or done.) Through their willingness to support their teams at any price, fans have shown they don't care what their heroes do off the field, so why should I or any other media mope be outraged?

All I'm saying is the man is a proven liar and cheater, and that's all the information anybody needs about him as a human being.

Bottom line: 

One would have to be pretty young and stupid to believe a word the man says.

1 comment:

  1. it was his cousin, man...does he know cheech and chong...

    ReplyDelete