As Marv would say: Yesssss!

^
Five Stumpers

(Hint: The answer is the opposite of no.)

5. With the Miami Hurricanes once again bad (the good bad, as opposed to the bad bad of recent years), is it time to hide the women and children?

4. When even Jody Gerut becomes a Cubbie-killer, isn't it really time to pull the plug on Lou's Losers?

3. Isn't Michael Crabtree the only one fooled by Crabtree's bluff that he'll re-enter the draft?

2. If the NBA and its refs don't avoid a contract dispute, won't Sir Charles have to find some other old coot to race?

1. Is Jerry Jones' ego the only thing on the planet larger than the Cowboys' new digs?

Missing Tiger, whiffing Cubbie

^

The Bald Truth

First, he lost in match play to some dude who had to use a long putter, and now he's tied for 40th place at Doral?

Hey, I thought this Eldrick Woods guy was supposed to be good.

The Quote

"If I used a DH today, I would have a big headache, so we'll let Carlos get his at-bats." - Lou Piniella

Oh, Carlos Zambrano got his at-bats in Thursday's exhibition game against the Japan WBC team. Two of them. Result: 2 Ks, 4 LOBs.

Who does Cra-Z think he is? Kosuke Fukudome?

At least Zambrano fessed up to caring deeply about being named the opening day starter for the fifth straight season. He had been saying it didn't matter.

It matters to Carlos. And to anybody who wants to see the Cubs win the opener. In four career first-day starts, Cra-Z is winless and has a 5.59 ERA. 

He has admitted that he puts too much pressure on himself, which kind of makes you wonder why not just let Ryan Dempster take the start this year at Houston.

Maybe Lou just wants Zambrano's bat in the lineup against Roy Oswalt.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

I felt kind of bad after watching my Marquette Golden Warrior Eagles battle back from a 17-point deficit only to lose at the buzzer to Villanova. Then I saw some of Thursday's other scores.

Pitt, the team I declared the nation's best just a few days ago, was smacked around pretty good by West Virginia. Oklahoma and UConn, two other possible NCAA tourney No. 1 seeds, were upset by Oklahoma State and Syracuse, respectively. Kansas lost to Baylor and Clemson fell to the ACC's last-place team, Georgia Tech.

Hey, at least Villanova is one of the best dozen teams in the country.

Yeah, I know: Moral victories are for wimps.

Guilty as charged.