Top 5 reasons Chicago didn't get the 2016 Olympics:
5. IOC didn't appreciate Michael Jordan using his Hall of Fame induction speech to trash-talk Juan Antonio Samaranch.
4. Brazilian babes in bikinis 1, Oprah 0.
3. Mayor-for-life Daley went too far with his proposed legislation barring ketchup on hot dogs in the Olympic Village.
2. Damn that Milton Bradley!
1. Death panels for tired marathoners? What was Obama thinking?
The Bald Truth
When Los Angeles passed Chicago in population (and, some might say, relevance) years ago, many in The Second City were none too pleased to be living in The Third City.
And now here we are: The Fourth City in the eyes of the Olympic movement.
That's right: Chicago didn't even make it to the medal stand in a tournament the experts expected it to win handily.
This never would have happened a few years ago, when IOC members routinely put out their palms for greasing.
To think ... Salt Lake City got away with giving out graft and Chicago couldn't!
What is this world coming to?
The Balder Truth
Nobody should feel sorry for Mayor-for-life Daley and all of his power-tripping pals. In fact, it was kind of nice to see their egos land with a thud. For most of these yahoos, it was about them, their "legacies" and their chance to line the pockets of their cronies.
There are plenty of people to feel sorry for, though. An Olympics in Chicago would have created thousands of jobs, many of them long-term, for people desperately in need.
Heck, even yours baldly (and many of my unemployed writer colleagues) might have made a buck or three off the 2016 Games.
Oh well, there's always the old standby: running a dogfighting ring. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
THE BALDEST TRUTH
On a totally unrelated note, I covered my final ballgame of the season Friday ... and the Cubs were so inspired they managed three late runs to only lose 12-3 to the mighty D-Backs.
The day's highlight: One last Lou-ism.
Asked about the 2016 Olympics, the Cubbie skipper said:
"Seven years from now, I'm gonna be in Montenegro. I've always wanted to go there since I saw that James Bond movie. It's amazing how you learn things from movies, or you wanna do things. I remember when I was young in the Carolina League and I went to see the movie 'Hud,' with Paul Newman, and as soon as I left the theater, I went to have a Jack Daniels and water. And I had my share during my career."
Shortly thereafter, I shook Lou's hand and wished him a relaxing offseason. He needs it. And a few more Jack-and-waters, too.