Monday, October 5, 2009

Losers easy to find ... in NFL stadiums & at Chicago ballparks

The Bald Truth

Just two weeks ago, the Lions were national punchlines. Now, Detroit isn't even close to being the NFL's worst team. I'm not sure if that tells us more about the Lions and the positive changes they've made or about the putrid state of the league's lowest reaches.

Among those the Lions have eclipsed:

Browns: The funniest thing is that they thought Eric Mangini was the answer. Next savior genius on their list: Gotta be Charlie Weis, right?

Bucs: It must be quite a blow to Malcolm Glazer's enormous ego that his squad is, at best, Florida's sixth-best pro football team, behind the Jaguars, Dolphins, Gators, Hurricanes and Seminoles.

Raiders: And speaking of blows and egos ... if only Al Davis would fire himself.

Bills: Another fine Dick Jauron production. A terrible team and an unhappy T.O. Talk about a jackpot!

Panthers: Was Jake Delhomme really a Super Bowl QB once upon a time?

Chiefs: As bad as they are - hint: real bad - they aren't even the worst team in Missouri by a long shot. That honor goes to ...

Rams: Pull Jim Hart and Dan Dierdorf out of their steakhouses and put 'em on the field, and the Rams wouldn't be one lick worse than they are right now. I know I'd bet on a reunion of '75 Cardinals over this crew.

The Balder Truth

The final Cubs play of the season: Geovany Soto swinging through a mediocre fastball. How perfect! The 2008 NL Rookie of the Year finishes a lost season with one last utter failure.

Lou Piniella can blame injuries all he wants, but it was the team's supposed best players' inability to come through over and over and over again that condemned the Cubbies to beginning another century doing what they do best (or worst, as the case may be).

The final White Sox play of the season: Alex Rios grounding into a double play. How perfect! Ken Williams' wild, desperate stab at saving a hopeless season backfires one last time.

One last time in 2009, anyway. The White Sox will be overpaying this guy for years. I'm a big fan of Williams' willingness to aggressively pursue championships - his relentless, masterful Jake Peavy deal will turn out to be a great one as long as the guy stays healthy - but Rios was available for any taker for a reason. Methinks Williams got took.


It has become clear that only one person could have saved Chicago's Olympic bid.

Why weren't you in Copenhagen, Jay Cutler?

Wouldn't even have cost us taxpayers a dime because J.C. could have walked all the way there!

1 comment:

  1. my sports future bleak - rams eeeek
    o -16 stings

    cards crushed by the dodgers in 4
    what a boor

    pretty funny...been years since i thought about hart...dan played for the cardinals?? oh the rams in l.a. how ironic..keep up the good work