Friday, June 1, 2012

Today's High 5: NBA conspiracies, idiotic tweets and the baldest of eagles

5. I am shocked -- shocked! -- that the Hornets, who have been owned and operated by the NBA this past year, won the Draft Lottery (and the right to select the only great player available).

And I am shocked -- shocked! -- that anybody would dare suggest a conspiracy or a conflict of interest.

4. It seems Albert Pujols isn't the next Mo Vaughn after all.

3. The Baldest Eagle has landed!

That's right: I carded my first-ever eagle on Thursday thanks to a boomer of a drive, a best-of-the-season 5-iron and a 2 1/2 foot putt. If I'd have choked on that putt, I never would have lived it down.

I saved my choke for the next hole, when I hit my 9-iron tee shot within 5 feet and then promptly 3-putted.

Eagle or no eagle ... I still golf like me, dammit!

2. Will any of us ever forget where we were Wednesday, when Kordell Stewart announced his retirement from pro football a mere 7 years after he last wore a uniform?

1. Has-been Wally Szczerbiak took to Twitter to rip ex-teammate Kevin Garnett for being a guy who "lacks the #clutchgene."

Yes, the famously clutch Szczerbiak ... owner of what, a dozen NBA titles? OK, not quite. But he was owner of a reputation as one of the NBA's most selfish players back in his day.

A day that has long since passed, by the way.

Wally Effin Szczerbiak ain't even the lint in KG's belly button. Put a hash-tag on that, loser.

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