5. Well, so much for all those narrow victories being a sign that fate was on Notre Dame's side.
4. Fate, apparently, couldn't make up for the fact that Notre Dame's players weren't anywhere near as good as Alabama's players.
3. My sources at the Vatican tell me Pope Benedict XVI was so impressed with the Crimson Tide that he converted from Catholic to Catho-hick.
2. Hold on ... I think 'Bama just scored again.
1. Touchdown Jesus lost to a guy who is one letter away from being Satan. (Think about it.)