Give 'em 1 minute, they'll give you 2 L's

^

The Bald Truth

So I was watching Dennis Leary's Rescue Me with my wife when we put the show on pause to check out what was happening in Tuesday night's Chicago ballgames.

Within a 60-second span, Gordon Beckham grounded weakly to the pitcher with the tying run on base to end the White Sox's come-from-ahead loss to the Rays and The Great Jeff Samardzija served up Jayson Werth's 13th-inning homer to cap the Cubs' loss to the Phillies.

 

And then my wife and I switched back to Rescue Me, distracted only by the realization that our fine city is a mere three months away from yet another Cubs-Sox World Series.

Once Upon A Time

Hey, didn't Bobby Jenks used to be more than just another bad reliever with a goofy beard?

The Balder Truth

Now that they're 1-6 in games in which Mark DeRosa has played, the Cardinals must be trying to figure out what they need to do to get him back on the Cubs.

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Cool story by Yahoo! football writer Michael Silver, who tells of a phone conversation he had with Chad Ochounodostrescuatrocinco. Apparently, during a Lakers game last spring, the former Chad Johnson had a sit-down with Denzel Washington - who told Chad to stop being such a tool.

"He wasn't being gentle," C.O. told Silver. "He said, 'You know what? You need to straighten up and stop fussin' about something you have no control over. Make it fun again because it sure looks better when you do it that way.' That's all I needed to hear, especially from somebody like him."

By all means! After you're done getting real coaches fired, make sure you pay attention to a make-believe coach.

My sources tell me that Denzel's final words to C.O. were this:

"Oh, and remember the Titans!"