Yankee Doodle Handouts

^

The Bald Truth

Unable to sell out Homers R Plenty Stadium, the Yankees begrudgingly lowered premium ticket prices from $2,500 to $1,250 ... and you know what that means:

Time for the Steinbrenner & Sons to hit up New York taxpayers for another half billion or so.

Hey, it worked last time.

The Choice

Brad Miller badly missing the first of two free throws with 2 seconds left and the Bulls trailing the Celtics by 2 points?

Or ...

Brad Miller coming nowhere near the rim while intentionally trying to miss the second attempt?

Or ...

The refs not having the cajones to assess a flagrant foul on Rajon Rondo for practically beheading Brad Miller on the play leading to the above free-throw scenarios?

The Balder Truth

If it's not the swine flu, the flying NASCAR debris will kill us all.

As Roseann Roseannadanna used to say: It's always something!

Bank On This

The New York Times is reporting that workers at Wall Street's largest financial firms are on track to earn as much money this year as they did before they greased the skids for the financial mess that wiped out the rest of us.

Thank goodness! I mean, how bad would it have been for the economy if sales of Bimmers, cocaine and $2,000 "escorts" plummeted?

THE BALDEST TRUTH

Hey Look ...

It's Paul Pierce, actually acting like a superstar and carrying the Celtics to a wild overtime win in Game 5.

Why, if Mr. Invisible finally has decided to show up, his old, beat-up, bench-less Celtics just might have a chance to lose in Round 2.